When We Were Perfect

Chapter 79

The wound which I have got is deep

It couldn't heal anytime soon

I have made this decision by mistake

Oh, love, I have said goodbye to you...

Daniel stepped closer, standing at an arms distance from her. She could smell his scent as she looked up to him wanting to be engulfed in that warmth and scent.

"You don't need to apologize for everything Amy, I don't blame you or hold you responsible for everything. Especially for not loving me back, it was your own choice, your own emotions. No one has the right to force you. I won't demand any justification from you and push you into the abyss of guilt because, to be honest, you may be able to give closure but I don't need it now.. I remember I begged you to open yourself to me, share your insecurities with me but you said you don't have time to play friendship card with me right!"  Daniel muttered gazing into her eyes.

"You were always clueless Amy, at times I would gain confidence to confess my feelings but then I would realize that I wasn't anything. I was just a weakling struggling to survive and I didn't want that for you. I became strong, confident, worked like a maniac just to reach your standards and I did but it was too late you already proposed Silas. I don't regret working hard because even if I didn't get you, I made myself a name in this world, I became a strong person I never thought I would be. Because of that, I can provide Ozan with life, I can survive and walk with my head held high in this cruel world. I should thank you for that."

Amy felt like drowning, even though his tone was cold yet she could feel the intensity behind those words.

"I fell for you, for your dumbness, your smile, your feistiness. Everything about you made me feel alive, you were my light, the reason I laughed the first time, the time I blushed when you kissed my cheek. I was there when you get involved in fights when you broke your hand, when you would miss your father. Every time you came running to me, confiding in me. The moments when you promised to be my best friend forever, I was happy to have you even as my friend because your smile and happiness meant the world to me." Daniel's voice lowered to a whisper as he turned to the left, gazing at the lake.

"Today I admit my love for you, Amy, I fell for you the day you helped me get out of that classroom. I have loved you the most in my life and I don't regret marrying you because despite ever bitter memory and suffering, I got a beautiful son out of it."  Daniel smiled at the last part and then again stared at her but this time it was different, Amy felt it like whatever he was going to say wasn't good.

"And today I say that I buried my love for you. You don't have to pity me or listen to anyone around. You have your life, go live it without the burden that you are obligated to me. This marriage which is on paper can continue till you have achieved your goal and then you ask for a divorce, I would sign the papers.

I forgive you Amy Sa-, Amy Moretti. I forgive you for everything you did." Daniel announced with an expressionless face, his heart felt a tinge for a moment but then again he decided to go with the reality.

Amy opened her mouth to speak but the shock was too much to even think for a minute.

No, this isn't what she wanted now. She might have thought it this way before but this time she wanted a second chance.

He was freeing her and at the same time caging her in endless suffering and guilt.

"Daniel no, listen to me. I don't want a divorce, we can make this workout!" Amy whimpered grabbing his hands making Daniel flinch slightly but he still kept his composure.

"Sorry to disappoint you Amy but my life is not a toy, you can come and play with it whenever you want and then toss it aside when your mood changed." He muttered slipping his hands away from her soft hold.

"Amy everything is over now, I don't want to suffer again and this time with Ozan. It took me a lot of time to accept that you can never love me, that we weren't meant to be ever. I have made myself accept that you are nowhere around my life!" This time he muttered with a pained expression and cold gaze.

"D-Daniel, please!" She whimpered walking closer to him but Daniel raised his hands.

"I begged you, Amy, begged you countless times but you never heard to a single plea of mine. You used to throw harsh words, call our marriage misery, tossed aside my feelings. You didn't even treat me as your friend instead you made me a victim of your anger and I took it every whip of it not complaining because I was a fool to believe that you were suffering from a phase and eventually realize but it's too late now. You called Ozan a mistake if it wasn't for me threatening to tell Vahide mom, you would have aborted him! This time he let himself loose and free everything that he kept inside for so long. The feeling of resentment boiling in his blood, as every word of her strikes him again.

The moment she heard those words, closing her eyes letting the tears flow down her cheeks to the already damped shirt.

"Amy please! Just go back and live your life as you did before forgetting about me and Ozan. Continue to act as we didn't exist like you have been doing. Living life alone is much better than a toxic and unwanted relationship!" He muttered stepping back, Amy opened her eyes wanting to stop him.

"I won't be able to take a blow again, I don't want to be shattered again because this time I won't be able to survive and I have to. Let me live this life peacefully with Ozan, he needs me and I want to be there for him as a strong and supporting father. I don't want to cry ever again because….." He paused for a moment as his eyes became a shade darker if that was even possible.

"I don't like crying for you because I can forgive but I can't forget!" Daniel spoke with a sad smile.

It was like Daniel slapped him straight on her face. 

She didn't speak, though her heart was begging her to stop him because if he left she wouldn't be able to get him back ever again.

But the knot in her throat wasn't letting her utter a single word.

Daniel gave one last icy glance at her and walked away. The first time ever Daniel walked away leaving her alone.

At that moment, Amy felt everything crumble and shatter apart as she slumped on the ground, her insides churning and felling apart. She could even pinpoint the times her heartbreak tonight, his words, why they felt so bitter because he was just repeating her own words. The things she said to him, the things she did to him. The most relieving thing was she didn't even felt an ounce of mercy for herself, she deserved that she knew. Honestly,  she thought that he wouldn't forgive her and she would even beg him for forgiveness but here it was completely opposite of what she had thought.

He forgave her, let her go from his life easily with an expressionless face as if he wasn't giving a verdict. He gave up on her, he finally did.

Today she felt closely what Daniel would have felt every time she insulted him, ignored him and said bitter things. How he would have felt when she shamelessly kissed Silas and muttered harsh words that night. His pained expression haunting her, his cold tone and stare piercing through her.

For the first time ever, she felt ashamed of herself, ashamed of being a woman. She took him for granted and look where it landed her, in the abyss of misery.

"AHHHHHHH...!" She screamed pulling the grass out of the ground and thrashing it, covering her face not even realizing that dirt that stick to her face.

'You don't always get what you want Amy. This time you destroyed everything with your own hands. You broke him, can't you see what else do you expect!' Her mind chided.

"God please give me chance to repent my mistakes, give me a second chance. I won't be able to survive with this remorse, it would eat me alive!" Amy sobbed looking up at the sky, her sobs wrecked through her and poured out of her.