When We Were Perfect

Sorrow is within my every breath

Sorrow is the cure also

See the enmity of sorrow with happiness

Sorrow is also the cure for my grief.

They both followed the doctor to his office, Daniel's mind was in haywire seeing the look on Doctor's face, he was terrified to the core about what news he might have for him. He truly couldn't think, his mind was going to explode any moment. Silas also decided to go with him seeing he was in no state to act rationally.

He sat on the free chair in front of the desk while Silas took the other, both facing the doctor who looked warily at him before starting.

"Mr Saritas, I am going to ask you a question, you have to answer me precisely."

"What kind of a question?" He said.

"Did Ozan have any disease or had any problem when he was born or had he experienced it before!" The doctor asked with a serious expression.

"He did have a stomach problem when he was born, he couldn't digest the formula milk and often puked. His paediatrician had to change the formula a lot of times before settling on one that suited his stomach. He also suffered from high fever and diarrhoea a couple of months ago!" Daniel replied, worry etched on his face.

"What were the reasons he suffered from these!"

"The doctor said breastfeeding was important for him but due to some reason. It wasn't given to him and we had to settle on formula milk, as for fever, it was seasonal and due to lack of enough nutrients!" 

"Can I ask about his mother?" The doctor asked.

"She is out of the picture!" Daniel answered with clenched jaws.

The doctor nodded and sighed leaning forward, placing his elbows on his desk.

"Just what we have been thinking. Mr Saritas your son is suffering from infectious morbidity due to not being given breast milk since his stomach was already weak and still couldn't adapt properly to formula milk. It was the reason he had diarrhoea, maybe it wasn't detectable before but now it has gotten somewhat serious! He told as Daniel's heart constricted.

"What do you mean serious?" This time it was Silas who asked.

"His stomach is still weak due to which his body didn't get to absorb enough nutrients. Along with that, his stomach has developed a serious infection and inflammation, in short, infectious morbidity. I am still surprised that his body functions normally!" The doctor stated.

"If this infection doesn't heal in time then he might get pneumonia because his immunity has also started weakening!"

"How is he now?" Daniel asked in a low voice, his senses numb.

"We have managed to stabilize his breathing and given him antibiotics for immunity and removing the infection. He is still unconscious but hopefully, he will be awake soon!" The doctor stated with a sigh.

"Please save my son!" Daniel begged, his voice barely coming out, all the anger and frustration left his body replaced with a feeling of dread and anxiety in his heart.

The doctor looked at him with sympathy.

"We are trying our best Mr Saritas, we have started the fluid replacement and medication but until he is under observation till he gets out of the danger zone. The only thing is to wait and pray!" 

Silas looked at his friend with worried eyes, placing a hand on his arm.

"Can I see him!" Daniel asked, clenching his fist, ready to break down any moment.

"Yes you can but for a short time!" He said.

Daniel nodded weakly rising to his feet and walking out. Silas followed him, his own eyes teary from all the facts he had heard, his phone started ringing, seeing the caller his face turned into a grimace.

Daniel slowly entered the room, his eyes blurred with tears as he saw his little boy lying on the bed. His heart broke as he stared at his fragile body, his once smiling face was pale. His body was covered in different wires making his heart tear apart.

He sat beside her wanting to cry his eyes out, he looked so small and fragile like he would break any moment.

With trembling hands, he kissed his small fingers, a tear falling on his drip covered hand.

"Don't do this to me, Ozan, I can live without my son!" He said with a sad smile caressing his little head.

"I will bring you a lot of aeroplane plastic models and animal toys, whatever you want my son!" More tears fell from his eyes.

"Please come back to Daddy my son, I will die without you!" Daniel whispered, his heart breaking more as he looked at his son closely. 

He softly placed a kiss on his pale cheek, reluctantly standing up knowing he isn't allowed to sit here for a long time.

.....

It was past midnight and Ozan was still unconscious. Daniel sat there on the bench still like a statue, the earlier tears were now dried as he gazed aimlessly at nothing in particular. His shirt was crumpled, coat beside him, hairs all dishevelled. All in all, he looked miserable and he was. He asked Martha to return home and the old woman complied, sending him food by Noah but he refused to eat. He just sat there still remembering all the times he was happy with Ozan, his bright face flashed before his eyes. How he was always so attached to him, eating, sleeping and now even taking a bath with him. How he would bury his face in his crook when he wasn't feeling well, how he would smile seeing him. Ozan was his everything now, he was his solace during nights he would cry, hugging him to sleep, he was his comfort, the person who made him feel loved and wanted in his lifetime. His world, his flesh and blood, his son Ozan.

Silas walked towards him holding two cups of steaming coffee but seeing him still in his place, he sighed, taking the seat beside him. Passing him a cup of coffee which he didn't take.

"Daniel you haven't eaten anything, just drink this coffee to survive the night!" Silas pleaded.

"I have survived through the worst Silas don't worry about me!" He stared blankly.

"Ozan wouldn't like to see his father as a zombie in the morning, would he? so for his sake, drink this!" Silas said forcefully, shoving the cup of coffee in front of him which he thankfully took.

"Silas! You should go home." Daniel muttered staring at the lid of the cup.

"I am not Martha, so don't order me like that!"

"I am being Serious here Silas, go home. Aunt Kyla and Nadia must be worried about you!" Daniel said staring sternly at him, Silas could see through his face how tired and grief-stricken his friend was, who wouldn't be.

"They are more worried about you and keep that look to yourself, I am not even moving an inch from here. Either you like it or not!" Silas retorted sipping his coffee but instantly started coughing when the burning liquid touched his insides.

"Hot!Hot!" Silas said, fanning his mouth.

Daniel shook his head, if it would have been another moment he would have laughed at him. He slowly took a little sip from the black coffee before placing it besides.

"Do you think I am cursed!" Daniel said out of nowhere.

Silas, who was fanning his mouth glanced at him.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because whenever I feel like I have reached some point in my life where I can be happy, I am thrown back to an abyss of sadness!" Daniel muttered sadly.

"No matter how much power and strength I get, life still makes me helpless and weak!" 

Silas rubbed his shoulder softly.

"Don't say that Daniel, everything will be okay soon!"

"I thought the same that everything will be okay. I began to accept reality, buried my feelings and felt content with my son but look here I am, sitting helplessly. He didn't deserve this Silas, he didn't. He is just too small for this!" Daniel whispered, rubbing his eyes.

"I think destiny likes to play with me, keep me away from happiness maybe because I don't deserve it!" 

Silas felt the sadness wash over him as he pulled his friend into a side hug.

"Believe me, Daniel, you deserve much more than this world can offer. You have suffered a lot but one day everything will look worth it. Just believe in time, my brother!" He said pulling away and giving him an encouraging smile.

"Ozan will be healthy and home soon with all of us," Silas said.

"I wish the same, Silas, otherwise I wouldn't be able to survive anymore!" Daniel mumbled sadly, turning to look at the ICU door wishing nothing more than to see his son walking to him with his little feet and smiling face.

"Come back, my son!"