When We Were Perfect

Destinations are angry

The path has been lost

Come on take me away

This is all I wish for

This is the path to my freedom

May you belong to me........

Previously, 

"Besides, you were willing to rectify your mistake Amy and you did. I am glad you realized your negligence and came back and actually put efforts to fulfil your role as a mother, filling out as much as you have missed." Daniel uttered the truth, his eyes boring into hers but this time, not in a deadly way.

Amy sat there, opening and closing her mouth. Was he really praising her or mocking her? But whatever it was, she didn't expect it at all.

****************

Amy was still silent, 

"Though this all could have been avoided if you weren't that negligent and closed off but let's not dig into the past anymore!" Daniel said.

'And he is back!' She thought.

"I think I can never make you forget the bad times" she whispered.

"Some behaviours and things are etched on our heart Amy, we may momentarily forget them but there is always a fraction that invariably stays in our hearts!" Daniel muttered looking her dead in the eye without giving an ounce of emotion.

"Finish!" Ozan butted in, raising his sipper in the air, flashing a smile.

"That's like a good boy!" Daniel ruffled his hair making him give a toothy grin.

"Now why don't you play with your ele and aeroplane!" Amy smiled, giving him his toys which he happily took and started playing with them.

"What do you want to talk about!" Daniel asked, stretching Ozan's baby seat so that he could play easily.

Amy tucked the hem of her shirt lower, trying to calm her growing anxiety.

"I-I want u-us to be a family again, begin a new life as a family…..for Ozan's sake!"

Daniel blinked in confusion, 

'What did she mean by being a family again!' 

Seeing him stare at her warily, Amy started to explain.

"I want to go back with you guys and start a new life leaving everything behind. I want us to be the best parents we can be to Ozan, though you already are!"

"I don't understand what you are implying here Amy, you are already in our lives and of course I would want the same thing for Ozan but about you coming back with us, I am not pretty sure about that!" Daniel mumbled, still thinking.

Amy's eyes turned into an expression of hurt but she knew Daniel's intention wasn't bad. It was the insecure feeling of their past relationship and her behaviour that was making him disagree.

"You said you accepted me back!" She whispered, holding back her tears.

"I did Amy and I am not tossing you out of his life but I would rather want you to come and spend some hours with him daily instead of you going early in the morning and returning late at night finding excuses. He wouldn't be able to take this behaviour of  yours now that he has started to grow on you!" Daniel voiced out his thoughts now staring at Ozan.

"I won't Daniel, this time I won't let my work destroy any other thing besides there are working parents who manage their children as well even you had done the same thing, despite every judgemental look you took him to the office every day without depending on anyone!" 

Daniel sighed sipping his bitter coffee, not replying to her, his mind pondering over the facts. She has proved her potential to be a great mother and without any doubt, Daniel could see the selfless love that existed in her eyes whenever she was with Ozan. It was the same emotion he had for Ozan and hadn't he wanted the same thing for Ozan, to grow up in a happy family and caring environment. Where he would see both his parents being there with him, something he had yearned for all his life.

'Would you be able to keep your emotions intact with her around!' His subconscious started.

'There wouldn't be any emotions this time, I am not going to fall again' he mentally chided.

'Keep saying that to yourself!' An unrelenting voice whispered in his mind but he pushed it back.

Seeing him silent for long, Amy's anticipation started to grow.

"If it helps, I have taken a few months off work to focus on Ozan!" This seemed to wipe out his thoughts as blinked in confusion. Amy has taken a leave from her work, although he has already made his mind but this decision of hers acted like icing on top. It clearly showed how much she had started caring and loving Ozan.

"I wasn't going to ask you to leave your work but it's your decision! " 

"So…!" Amy trailed off deliberately, looking at him with a hopeful expression.

"You are as much as his parent as me, Amy and I also want a stable home for him where he could grow in a healthy environment. For his sake, let's start our lives as a new family leaving everything in the past!" 

Daniel said with a small smile as Amy visibly exhaled a sigh of relief.

"This means we can be friends again?" Amy said but doubted her choice of words when she saw her face set in a grim line.

'I don't have time to play friendship cards!' Her words ringed in his mind as he clenched his hands around the now cold cup of coffee. The things again resurfacing in his mind, how easy it for her to say that.

"No!" Daniel replied in a rather harsh tone making her sink in fright. 

"But you said we could start as a family!" Amy said as sweat began to form in her palms.

Daniel tried to calm himself before replying, 

"Starting as a family meant we can co-parent him and all. Look I can't promise you any other thing because I have closed that wound---chapters but I can assure you I will be there for you in every step of this journey of parenthood. I will be civil, understanding and respectful towards you, that's all." Daniel replied in a composed and calm way, the sullen look on Amy's face wasn't unnoticed by him. Seriously he couldn't act like before around her, no this wasn't easy and possible for him now.

Amy felt a sting on her heart but she knew where he was coming from, she was the one to break their friendship of years in a single moment. She wanted to bang her head somewhere, the reality of how she may have lost her best friend forever struck against her heart.

"I understand! " she managed to say.

"You don't want to talk about us right!" 

Daniel only let a small humourless chuckle, staring dead into her eyes.

"It took me a while to get it, Amy but there was never an us!" He muttered loud enough for her to hear, making her choke on her saliva. It wasn't even easy for him to utter those words but it was less painful now that it was a persistent reality of his life.

"I---" Amy croaked, holding back the sting of tears not wanting to cry there. Daniel stood up from his seat, unbuckling Ozan from his chair who was yawning and wrapping him in his arms.

"Do you want to say something else!" Daniel asked, turning his head towards her.

'I also want to be in your embrace, I want my best friend back, I want you to call me Tesoro again  !' She wanted to cry out.

"No, you already allowed me to come back, what else!" Amy said, staring at him with an indescribable expression.

"Thank you!" She whispered, Daniel, nodded slowly.

"It's okay Amy!"

"Should we go back, he is feeling sleepy and besides we have to fulfil the discharge formalities!" 

"You go ahead, I will join you after packing his things!" Amy said pointing to his toys and sipper.

"Okay, we will be waiting!" Daniel replied, glancing at her and then walking out of the booth.

Amy picked his toys and started to place them back in the bag when she felt her cheeks getting wet, drop after drop tears begin to fall on Ozan's bag.

'There was never an us!' The words felt like a grenade bomb on her shoulders but then again how would he have felt back then when she said those things in a more harsh and bitter tone. Especially when he had loved her all this time.

Amy harshly wiped away her tears, quickly taking out some wipes and dabbing her eyes not wanting to give any sign that she was crying before, sighing and walking out of the restaurant. 

'You have to fight and win this Amy, don't give up!' She encouraged herself walking towards the familiar car with the same glint, she always bad when walking in a courtroom ready to fight and win the case.