When Your Pain Becomes Mine

110. It didn't hurt me, but I'm still hurt

Her eyes were filled up with deep sorrow.

"So, you mean you're glad because you don't need to deal with my pain anymore?"

"... What are you talking about…?" Gyeonhui was embarrassed, so he asked her.

"The reason you were pretending to have changed was that you were feeling my pain, and you didn't want to deal with that."

She tried to suppress the sorrow and talked to him calmly. However, because of her unbearable grief, her voice trembled slightly.

"I didn't know that… I had no idea what you were dealing with…"

"Sun, that's not true. I explained everything to you."

"You said you were not hiding anything from me."

"Because…"

Gyeonhui tried to explain his mind to her, which was that he was so afraid of losing her. He was going crazy, fearing to lose her. He was going to tell everything to her once he felt better, but everything he had done for her was genuine and sincere.

"Isn't it enough that you were playing with me?"

Hearing her voice, Gyeonhui's eyes shook.

"Please stop torturing me. Please. Please get out of my sight!!!"

At the same time, she also had a terrible headache like her head was going to break.

She held her head and started screaming in pain.

'Sun, Sun!!!"

"Don't come to me! Don't!!" When he tried to approach her, she cried. "Please. Please. don't come any closer to me."

"I never want to see you again. Ever. Please just leave here."

Hearing her desperate voice, Gyeonhui's steps froze.

"Ugh! Ugh!!" Her screaming burst out again.

When Eunyoung and Ojae heard Sun's screaming, they came into the room.

The doctor and nurses also followed them and held Sun's body. Gyeonhui could only watch her struggle in pain.

***

At the park outside of the hospital.

Gyeonhui was sitting on a bench on a hollow fence.

"Here." Ojae handed him a cup of coffee.

However, Gyeonhui had no reaction, just like a robot with no battery.

"... What about Sun?" Gyeonhui asked.

"Her pain was quite severe because the anesthesia wore off. She just fell asleep when more anesthetic was given.

"... I see.."

"According to the doctor, it's possible to freak out like that because of the shock she had gone through, so if she feels better soon… then…"

"What..?"

"It's not because of the shock, it's because I hurt her," Gyeonhui said, clenching his teeth tight.

"Because I hurt her so much, that's why she was desperate. It's all my fault…"

"But it is true that you've changed, and you treated her sincerely…"

"It's only true when she can see and hear my sincere mind... as it is..."

Gyeonhui recalled the conversation he had with Mrs. Shin.

'That was the only thing that I could have done for you, and that was what I had in mind.'

'A true mind? Why didn't you tell me earlier? You haven't said anything, and now you tell me everything you did was for me. Am I still supposed to believe it?'

Recalling this memory, Gyeonhui's face subsided.

"Gyeonhui…"

"Go on. Please stay with her, so I feel better because you're going to protect her instead of me."

Ojae thought for a moment, and soon he nodded.

Ojae tapped Gyeonhui's shoulder a couple times before standing up and walking towards the hospital.

Left alone in the park, Gyeonhui looked down at his two hands.

"The anesthetic was wearing off…"

He recalled the screaming that Sun cried out. However, he couldn't feel any of her pain. His body could no longer feel her pain, but his mind hurt so badly as if he were out of breath.

Closing his eyes tightly, he swallowed his deep sorrow.

***

"Okay, just bend it a little more, slowly, slowly."

As the nurse instructed, Sun tried to clench her right hand.

Unlike the first time she had hardly had strength in her hand, now she could clench her fist, just holding her hand made her forehead sweat.

"Great. You did a great job today. This will be good enough for today. You know how to use the paraffin therapy machine?"

"Yes." Sun answered like she was familiar with it.

As the nurse instructed, she put her hand in the paraffin therapy machine. When she put her hand in the hot liquid, the white film wrapped her hands. She repeated it three or four times, and her hand turned pale like she was wearing gloves.

A moment later, she carefully removed the dried liquid, and she came out of the therapy center.

The weather had changed, and it was already midsummer.

At that time, a car stopped in front of her.

It was Ojae.

"Did you come here again? You really don't need to."

"You have to let me do this for you because what happened to you was all my fault," Ojae said. He was still sorry for what she endured.

"No, why is it all your fault, it's really not. Don't worry about me. I'm really fine."

"So, just let me help you until you're fully recovered, okay? Get in, come on. I've turned the air on strong for you."

Hearing Ojae, Sun smirked and got in the car. It felt so cool when the air dried off her sweat.

Sun quietly looked out of the window.

It was all because the memories of him just crossed her mind.

"He's been doing good."

"..."

"He doesn't feel your pain anymore, so don't worry about him."

"... That's great to hear." Sun answered with a sunken voice.

Ojae slightly glanced at her and carefully started speaking.

"But he still hurts. It's not your pain, but he's still in pain."

Sun's face subsided.

"I know it's too late to tell you this, but Gyeonhui once told me that he was so afraid that you would leave him again, so he couldn't tell you anything."

Her eyes trembled slightly.

"He couldn't tell you anything, but he was sincere. Please remember that."

Sun didn't say anything and just looked outside of the window.

Her eyes started to tear up involuntarily.

"The sunlight is pretty hot."

Sun blamed the bright sun for her tears.

She thought her tears welled up because the sunlight was too bright and shiny.