When Your Pain Becomes Mine

***

While she was typing on the keyboard, she remembered what Gyeonhui had said from Eunwoo.

'If she knows that I've saved her, then it's going to be hard for her to accept it. She'll feel better knowing that you saved her. Let's just put it up that way.'

'... What does that mean?'

'I mean nothing. I just think it would be better.'

'Are you telling me to lie to her now?'

'That's why I said it was a favor. I know you don't like it, but it's good for her.'

Gyeonhui never asked a favor from anyone.

He used people when they were worthy. Otherwise, he would throw them away.

Then he spoke about the word "favor" to Eunwoo, who was more dissatisfied than anyone else. What was even stranger were the words he used.

'It's good for her...'

She had never heard it from him before while she was in a relationship with him.

"Why are you doing this..."

His actions were already beyond her comprehension.

He differed so much from what she had known of him over the years.

With a sigh, she looked up weakly, and a bag on her desk caught her eyes.

She knew that she was done with him, but the bursting hope in her mind had shaken her.

No matter how much she tried to deny it, she could not come to terms with her mixed feelings. It was neither easy to go back or move forward without him.

She came here all the way with her heart burning in pain, but nothing seemed to change. All she could do was endure in front of these two desperate-sounding options.

"Huh..."

With a heavy sigh, Sun shook her head and tried to shake her stressful thoughts, but the emotions that she had once abandoned had stirred up again.

"I'm going to drink something."

To calm down, she opened the office door to get something to drink.

'Bang.'

With the sound of the door opening, she saw Gyeonhui standing at the door.

'Gyeonhui.'

Her unprepared face hardened instantly.

"... What's up?"

She pretended to be as casual as possible and asked.

"I still have more to talk with you."

"If you're talking about the meetings, then we'll send you materials this afternoon."

She tried to escape the office, but soon, his rough hands caught her.

"Cheonsun. I'm not done talking to you."

"... Let go of me."

"No, I can't. I won't."

"... You're right. I was wrong."

His unexpected words made her eyes shake.

"I thought you would hate it if you found out that I had saved you, so I lied. I had no other motive."

He tried to speak as calmly as possible. His every word touched Sun's mind, but she decided to pretend that she was unaffected.

"... It doesn't matter if you had lied to me or not. It was just an accident that happened to me. Don't worry about it."

Sun tried to downplay him again. This time, however, he decided to hold her arm fondly.

"How can I not care about you? Telling me not to care about you anymore would not stop me!"

"Then what do you want from me?" Her voice began to tremble.

"Why did I try to heat up the heating pad that day? Why did I turn the stove on and fell asleep? The same regret still swirls around in my mind even at this moment. It wouldn't have happened if I was more cautious."

"That's..."

"It's all my carelessness. It doesn't matter whether you lied to me or not. I'm the one who caused everything."

Sun tried to calm her heart to pass him over.

"Cheonsun!" His fierce cry stopped her in her tracks.

"I'm doing this all for you. Don't you see? It was my mistake, and I didn't think deep enough. What more do you want me to do?"

She was listening intently before she slowly started speaking,

"... I've never asked you to do more. I've asked you not to do anything."

"Hah." Gyeonhui became speechless and looked at her again. "Do you really not see anything that has changed in me?"

He tried to speak in the calmest tone possible. Sun only looked at him silently.

He couldn't stand his frustration, so he picked up the bag of chocolate and said, "Look at this, I even did this for you; it doesn't make sense that you wouldn't feel how much I changed!"

When she gazed at the chocolate, she looked at him again and said, "...Do you think everything would be okay just because you've changed?"

"What?"

"After hurting me, you said that you're sorry and feel bad about what you've done. I've been sick for a long time, and I've been in so much pain that I would rather die than to feel more of it. I'm still the same."

"That, that's..."

He seemed shocked and could not say anything.

56. Memories of The Day

It was the anniversary of her father's death.

When Sun returned home in a black suit, she breathed a heavy sigh.

"You're home. Did everything go well?" Ari, who was watching TV, asked.

"... Yes."

Sun smiled and began to take off her coat.

"What is that?"

Ari asked when she saw a chrysanthemum flower bracelet on her wrist.

"That's what my dad used to make for me."

"A bracelet made out of flowers?"

She nodded slowly upon hearing Ari's reply. "According to my dad, when I was a kid, I cried a lot on the anniversary of my mom's death, so my dad used to make it just to comfort me. I was so happy with it at the time."

She exhaled a shallow sigh, recalling her memories of that time.

"To this very moment, I still make bracelets like this out of habit on the anniversary of my mom and dad's death. It reminds me of my dad, and I like to think about them while looking at it."

It had been a long time, but her family's death was still fresh in her mind.

Ari, who was looking down, quickly started to speak. "Oh, by the way, you have an appointment with Mr. Woo today, don't you?"

Ari suddenly thought of what Sun had said.

"Yes." Sun nodded with a shy smile.

"But why would you suddenly meet him at a restaurant? Mr. Woo has never asked you to see him first."

"... No, sometimes he has asked to see me before."

"When did he ever do that? Are you talking about things that happened a long time ago?"

After hearing Ari's words, Sun started smiling bitterly.

"Wait a minute. I wonder if he has prepared something special for you?"

"Prepared something special? Like what?"

"Well, you've been together for over three years. It's time to talk about it."

"What?"

"Marriage."

Sun's eyes widened after hearing Ari talking about 'marriage.'

It may have been evident for people who had been seeing each other for years in general, but at least for her, the word was truly unfamiliar.

"Maybe he's prepared something to propose to you?"