When Your Pain Becomes Mine

'Bang, bang, bang, bang!'

Sun came back to reality as the door was knocked on.

"Cheonsun! Open the door!"

His harsh tone called her again and again.

Her thoughts were conflicting, so she stopped on the spot without answering or opening the door.

"I know you're inside. Open the door!"

His angry cries were heard again. Sun unwittingly approached the door and put her hand on the handle of the door.

At that moment, she remembered her own determination that she had promised herself.

'... I'm not trying to beat him. I'm trying to beat myself.'

She had to overcome her former self, who had been continuously failing to escape him. She had to change herself to ignore the pain and hurt that Gyeonhui had given.

She bit her lip tightly and placed her hands on the doorknob.

"Hah…"

She heard him sighing outside the door.

He no longer knocked on the door, and he did not make angry shouts.

"I know you're there, so listen to me."

Sun could tell that Gyeonhui was drunk through his sluggish tone.

"I'm here because I want to clear up the misunderstanding that you have about me. I feel like my mind will blow up if I wouldn't be able to tell you."

He held his breath for a long time and slowly started speaking,

"I... I don't want you to come and go because you're forced. I just want you the way you are."

His heartfelt words made her eyes shake.

"... So let's start over."

His calm voice came through the door.

"Yes. It might be too late, but I don't want it to be even later. It's been hard enough to go through the pain."

She really wanted to open the door to go out and look into his eyes; however, she stopped herself by biting her lip tightly.

"Hah"

His long sigh was heard again through the door.

She even heard when he leaned on the door and raised his body.

Then she heard his footsteps as he walked down the stairs weakly.

Sun had to sit down when her legs felt weak.

With her hands wrapped around her face, she struggled to withstand the pain that spread all over her mind.

***

The next morning, when Gyeonhui went to work, he looked out of the window with a firm expression.

"It hurt so much, and you didn't even come to see me till the very end..."

He mumbled while recalling the vivid pain still in his c.h.e.s.t.

He felt the pain squeezing in his c.h.e.s.t, but she didn't let him come inside.

While struggling with a frustrated heart, Ojae stepped in.

"Here, the last quarter's earnings data."

Ojae, who had an expressionless face, presented the report to Gyeonhui.

After receiving the paperwork, Gyeonhui scanned it a few times and placed the material on the table.

"Have you already reviewed it?"

"... I can't concentrate."

"Huh?"

"I've never been like this before…"

He always used to be clear on his business no matter what his personal issues were.

His work and personal matters were always thoroughly separated for him. However, his complicated emotions had interrupted him, so he couldn't focus on his business at all.

He massaged his forehead to do away with the pain.

Ojae watched him, pondered for a moment, and started speaking carefully.

"Did you see her yesterday?"

Gyeonhui responded by staying silent.

"I told you. You would make her more confused."

"It was the best I could do."

"It was the best that you wanted to do."

"What?"

He looked at Ojae while furrowing his eyebrows.

"Giving an apology to someone means that you'll wait for the other person to accept you again. If you force her to forgive you because you apologized to her, then that's not an apology, it's just another attack."

"Are you saying that my actions last night hurt her? All my efforts to resolve the misunderstandings?"

"Yes."

On Ojae's resolute words, Gyeonhui burst out a smile outrageously.

"You said that what I'm feeling for her is love, so I have to do my best and try my best to reach out to her sincerely?"

"... I'm sorry. I was mistaken."

"What?"

"It's not love. It's an obsession."

Gyeonhui's face sank immediately.

"The choices that you've made are ruining you and her. What kind of love ruins both of you?" After taking a moment to breathe, Ojae started speaking again. "As your long-time brother who has known you since you were a kid, I'll just say a word for the first and last time."

Gyeonhui looked at him silently while furrowing his brow.

"... Let her go."

"What did you just say?"

"People don't change easily. She won't change either. Isn't that why she is still suffering now?"

After hearing Ojae's words, Gyeonhui broke the molars.

"You and her look like you are in so much pain. Stop it and let her go."

Oaje tried to leave after saying this.

"Then how can you explain the pain that I feel coming from her?"

Ojae stopped after hearing Gyeonhui's question.

"I still feel the pain on my heels because of her, what can you say about it?"

"Get the blood transfusion again two months later from now. I'm not sure if that's going to work or not."

"If? What if that doesn't work out?"

"Think about that two months later, not now. That's reasonable. Isn't it how you see around things?"

Gyeonhui became speechless again, but looking at his eyes still, it was clear that he was still unwilling to turn himself down.

"Are my feelings obsessive?"

"... Yes." Ojae replied to Gyeonhui's question.

Gyeonhui took a deep breath and slowly started speaking again. "It doesn't matter if I'm obsessed with her. I'm going to have her back to my side no matter what it takes because that's what I want."

"Gyeonhui."

"Get out."

Gyeonhui said while turning his body around to Ojae.

Ojae, who was watching him still, sighed like he had given up on Gyeonhui.

'Bang.'

After a while, when Gyeonhui heard the door closing, Gyeonhui opened his eyes that were shut for a while.

"From now on, I'm going to do it my way."

He mumbled to himself with a firm expression.

***

In the alleyway, Sun, who was on her way to work, walked blankly while holding Labong.

'I... I don't want you to come and go because you're forced. I just want you the way you are... So let's start over.'

His words last night were hardly forgotten.

The more she tried to forget, the clearer his voice came to her mind.

As she walked, she arrived in front of the veterinary hospital.

"Hey, Sun."

She just bumped into Eunwoo while carrying a trash bag.

"Oh, hello."

She greeted him like she was a little surprised.

"We don't get to see each other when we have an appointment, but I think we see each other often coincidentally."

"Oh..."

She smiled awkwardly since she remembered several appointments of theirs that were broken.

"Actually, it's not a coincidence today. I'd like to ask you a favor."

"A favor?" Eunwoo asked her with a puzzled look.