WTF I Am In The Marvel Universe!

Ray left the tent with his bodyguards while waiting for Phil Coulson and Brock Rumlow to finish briefing Nick Fury. When Phil Coulson and Brock Rumlow came back Ray started to speak with them.

"Phil, Brock, we have to look for the prince of Asgard, Thor. If his hammer is here it means that Thor is somewhere on Earth. We have to find him. If anything were to happen to Thor, it would be a galactic incident. Asgard is an extraterrestrial super power, we are like ants to them. If anything bad happens to Thor, Odin, Thor's father would destroy Earth with a snap of his finger.", Ray said in a girlish voice in a serious tone.

"Oh crap ! I have to inform Nick Fury immediately. Please wait for awhile here.", Phil Coulson said as he stormed off again to inform Nick Fury. While that was happening, Brock Rumlow appeared to be extremely worried as he walked off as well.

"Well it looks like I brought you guys to an intergalactic incident. And you Oswald shut up, I don't want to hear from you.", Ray said in a girlish voice. Oswald who had put his hand up slowly lowered his hand in dejection. After the death of Raj of Raj's Deli, if Oswald wanted to speak to Ray he had to put up his hand.

"Well it looks like we are doomed, Ray we should make love and get married while we still have the chance.", Clara said to Ray pleadingly.

Ray just rubbed his throbbing forehead as he saw Butch staring at the nervous Hawkeye up on the rafters of the tent. Ray had decided to ignore Clara.

"Sigh..... can we all just wait for Shield to find Thor before we decide it's the end of the world ?", Ray said in a girlish voice as he continued to rub his throbbing forehead.

Phil Coulson and Brock Rumlow came back after a while and proceeded to show them to their accommodations in the tents pitched on the site of Thor's hammer. Phil Coulson promised Ray the moment they find Thor, he will inform him.

It was a few days later that Phil Coulson had apprehended a muscular man who called himself Thor who tried to lift the hammer in the tent. But he failed to do so. After that incident the agents of Shield started interrogating Thor. As they were interrogating Thor, Ray could see Loki hiding in the background with invisibility magic. Ray just sighed and wondered how weak the Asgardian gods were ? No wonder Thanos easily killed them. Ray was outside the tent.

Ray watched as the appearance of Dr. Jane Foster and Dr. Erik Selvig disrupted the interrogation. Loki then appeared before Thor and said the same cheesy lines in the Marvel Thor movie. Yes, Ray might be outside the tent but his legacy magic eyes can see everything including Loki taunting Thor and his mental powers allows him to hear what they are saying. Ray found that he can easily enter Loki and Thor's mind. Ray also could see the way Odin blocked Thor's body's godly power. It was child's play for Ray to unlock Thor's power. After Loki left and Thor was left sobbing to himself in his chair, Phil Coulson walked to the outside of the tent to find Ray.

"We found someone called Thor but we don't know if he is the real Thor, can you have a look at him ? Because his friends are here and they want to take him back, they say he has mental problems and that he is not the real Thor.", Phil Coulson said seriously.

Ray's mouth curled into a wicked smile as he said in a girlish voice, "Okay.".

As Phil Coulson led him into the tent to see a sad sobbing Thor, Ray just said in a girlish voice, "He is the real Thor. And his friends out there knows he is the real Thor. You should capture them all for their protection and for secrecy.". Thor looked like a younger version of the actor Chris Hemsworth.

Phil Coulson rushed out of the tent immediately and shouted to the agents to capture Dr. Jane Foster and Dr. Erik Selvig. Brock Rumlow immediately came in with groups of Shield agents to apprehend them.

While that was happening outside, Ray walked next to Thor.

"I will tell you a little secret Thor, your father Odin is not dead but he is in deep slumber. Odin is in his Odin sleep.", Ray said in a girlish voice with a smirk.

"What ?! If that is true then Loki lied to me.", Thor said aloud with a happy face.

"Of course Loki lied to you, he is after all the god of mischief and lies.", Ray said in a girlish voice.

"Oh ! Thank you little girl.", Thor said happily.

Ray's face began to darken as Thor said that.

"Thor let me introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Butch.", Ray said in a girlish voice with a sinister tone.

Soon the group of Dr. Jane Foster, Dr. Erik Selvig, their assistants, Ray, his three bodyguards, Phil Coulson, Brock Rumlow, Thor and various Shield agents were in the Shield canteen which was a tent pitched near Thor's hammer. As they all sat there Butch began to stare at Thor like he was a piece of meat. Ray just kept quiet as he let Butch play with Thor.

"Thor, would you like to see who is manlier ?", Butch asked Thor as he stared deep into Thor's deep blue eyes.

"Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Of course I am manlier. After all who is manlier than the God of Thunder and Lightning.", Thor said happily while drinking his beer.

"Then we should have a kissing contest between us to see who is manlier. I will kiss you first and really show my manliness by giving you a deep loving manly kiss. And then you will kiss me later. The person with deepest manliest kiss against the other guy is the manliest.", Butch said with a smirk.

"Then who will be the judges of the contest ?", Thor asked happily as he swigged another beer.

"Of course the judges for the contest would be men in the tent here today.", Butch said with another smirk.

"Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Deal. I will win this contest !", Thor said aloud as he walked over and gave Butch a manly peck on the lips.

While that was happening, Oswald ran out of the tent followed by Ray and Clara. They didn't want to see what will happen next, they had already seen it before.

Butch next rushed up to Thor and proceeded to French kiss Thor. Butch pushed his tongue deep into Thor's mouth and gave him the best kiss of his life.

"Wow ! You kiss better than a female.", Thor said as he drank his beer and proceeded to French kiss Butch.

While this was happening Phil Coulson had already vomited and ran away. Brock Rumlow was nowhere to be seen. And most of the male agents of Shield were trying rush out of the tent causing a stampede.

The kissing contest continued throughout the night until the beer in the canteen was finished.

"Who won the contest ?", Thor asked as he saw no one was around the tent anymore. And that he was alone with Butch.

"Oh honey ! I won the contest of course.", Butch said with a wink and a smile.

Of course Thor refuse to concede defeat and declared the kissing contest was a draw and that they would do it again to see who is the manliest man which Butch replied, "Okay, sweetheart.".