WTF I Am In The Marvel Universe!

Ray smiled at the thought of Nick Fury being inundated with a bevy of hairy She Males. Ray wondered if Nick Fury will come out of this with his anal v.i.r.g.i.n.i.t.y intact. Yes ! Ray had planned all of this just to humiliate Nick Fury before he destroys Shield forever.

"Mua ! Ha ! Ha !", Ray let out a girlish evil laugh.

As he laughed, the three bodyguards were looking at Ray as though he has lost his mind. Butch was reading his gay x-rated magazine when he put it away to see why Ray had laughed. Creepy Clara was as usual just staring at Ray lovingly while holding her Muramasa sword god killer in a tight grip. Only Oswald looked depressed as he wasn't allowed to speak after Raj the owner of Raj's Deli died.

"Butch...", Ray said in a girlish voice.

"Yes, boss !", Butch replies as he stood up.

"Captain America Steve Rogers should be on the run now with Natasha Romanov the Black Widow.", Ray said in a girlish voice with a smirk.

"You mean the good looking tall blonde guy and who is Natasha Romanov ?", Butch asked Ray curiously.

Ray just face palmed himself as his mouth twitched with anger.

"Never mind, anyway Captain America Steve Rogers is on the run with some girl Shield agent and I want you to spy on Captain America Steve Rogers for me. I want you to join them and help them or at least pretend to help them.", Ray said in a girlish voice as he gave Butch a wink with his eye.

"Boss I know you are cute and all but I am not into boys or specifically young boys.", Butch said with a straight face.

Ray's mouth twitched again as he wondered if he should just kill Butch on the spot and say it was an accident as he lost his mind in anger.

"Just go Butch ... just go...", Ray said in a girlish voice.

"Yes boss !", Burch said as he took his guns and left.

Oswald put up his hand again and waved it vigorously.

"Sigh. Put down your hand Oswald and Clara don't try to sneak up behind me to give me a hug...", Ray said in a girlish voice as he wished he wasn't here.

Meanwhile Captain America Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov the Black Widow was on the run from Shield who had been infiltrated by Daniel Whitehall's Hydra. It was some unknown agents of Shield chasing them. As they ran, Steve Rogers had broken the encrypted data and was going to visit his old training ground to get more information on what or who is behind this threat to them. On the run, they suddenly met a muscular tall man who jumped out in front of Captain America Steve Rogers while he was in an unknown safe house.

"Hello lover... I am here to help.", Butch said in a flamboyant way.

"Hello. I didn't know people greeted each other these way nowadays. Hello lover too...", Captain America Steve Rogers said seriously.

"Yes nowadays the modern generation greet each other by saying lover at the end of each sentence. Like you Steve Rogers are my lover...", Butch said with a smirk.

"Oh ! Ha ! My guess was correct after all, lover.", Captain America Steve Rogers said with an innocent smile.

"Excuse me, both of you.", Natasha Romanov the Black Widow said as he she heard the conversation between Butch and Captain America Steve Rogers.

Natasha Romanov walked out of the safe house. Butch and Captain America Steve Rogers then heard a loud non stop laughing sound outside like Natasha Romanov had gone crazy.

"I had some gas... that's the Russian way to deal with gas.", Natasha Romanov the Black Widow said as she walked back in looking serious.

Butch and Captain America Steve Rogers just looked at each and then back again at Natasha Romanov who was walking away. Captain America Steve Rogers informed Butch that they were going to his old training ground to get more information. Butch said he would be happy to join them and help them.

As the group of three approached the Camp Leigh training ground, Butch looking like he wants to eat up Captain America Steve Rogers, Captain America Steve Rogers looks like he was seriously looking for enemies and Natasha Romanov the Black Widow who was trying in a very difficult way to stop laughing all the time.

Just like in the Marvel movie Captain America Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers, Butch and Natasha Romanov the Black Widow entered the building after Steve Rogers noticed something was wrong with it. As Captain America Steve Rogers looks lovingly at the picture of Peggy Carter, Butch was looking longingly at Captain America Steve Rogers. While Natasha Romanov the Black Widow was twisting her own flesh in the hopes of stopping her laughter. A light guffaw came out from Natasha Romanov the Black Widow's mouth.

"Are you okay ?", Captain America Steve Rogers asked Natasha.

"I am fine we should continue exploring this place, just some gas.", Natasha Romanov the Black Widow replied back.

They continued and entered the elevator leading to an underground bunker. Natasha Romanov the Black Widow noticed something sticking out of the data port, just like in the Marvel movie Captain America Winter Soldier and plug in her usb drive. The computers around them started running and became alive again. The camera moved and the system in the computer started running.

"Rogers Steven born 1918, Romanov Natalie born 1984, who are you ?...", the computer containing Arnim Zola started to speak as it looked at Steve Rogers Captain America, Natasha Romanov the Black Widow and Butch.

Now Butch's identity is special as he was the bodyguard of the Hand coupled with the fact that he does not look remotely like he used to look, it made Arnim Zola confused.

"Who are you ?", Natasha Romanov the Black Widow asked.

"Arnim Zola... I may look like what I use to... Now who are you?", the computer Arnim Zola replied as the camera swinged to Butch.

Captain America Steve Rogers began to give an explanation to Arnim Zola's background.

Arnim Zola then began to explain the history of Hydra and how it seeped into Shield as well as his own special circ.u.mstances. In 1972 Arnim Zola was dying, the only way for Arnim Zola to survive was to download his brain into a computer. Arnim Zola also began to tell them Hydra had assassinated Howard Stark as well as Nick Fury. Arnim Zola also showed Captain America it's three new Shield helicarrier which it controls.

"Now I ask you once again, who are you ?", Arnim Zola asked as it swung its camera to Butch.

"My name is Butch, I am the lover of Captain America.", Butch said with confidence.

"And you Captain America Steve Rogers are you the lover of this Butch ?", Arnim Zola asked as it swung its camera to Steve Rogers.

"Yes. Butch is my lover.", Steve Rogers replied with an innocent smile.

Natasha Romanov the Black Widow almost lost it as she let out a guffaw which she quickly repressed while saying, "Russians have lots of gas, I seem to have a lot of gas today. Russian way of dealing with gas. Ha. Ha. Ha.".

"Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Just for that I should not kill all of you but I am afraid it is too late, there is a missile being launch from Shield towards us. Goodbye everyone.", Arnim Zola said as it resigned itself to its fate.

As Arnim Zola said that Captain America pulled out a railing on the ground grabbed Natasha Romanov and jumped in. Butch jumped in behind Captain America and pressed his body hard behind Captain America Steve Rogers. Captain America Steve Rogers held up his shield above his head to protect both Natasha Romanov and Butch.

There was an explosion but the three of them survived.

"Butch why is your hard p.e.n.i.s pressed against my b.u.t.t.o.c.k.s ?", Captain America Steve Rogers asked innocently.

"Ahem... there was danger just now, so well, anyway I am letting go of your body now.", Butch said as he released Captain America Steve Rogers.

Natasha Romanov the Black Widow let out another loud guffaw. She had let go of Steve Rogers long ago before Butch let go of Captain America Steve Rogers.

"Sorry. We Russians have a lot of gas. It's the Russian way of dealing with gas.", Natasha Romanov the Black Widow said seriously as she looked away and started crawling out of the wrecked bunker.

To be continued...