3 Years Later

The room was silent.

It was unnerving to think that, just a few hours ago, this central hub of a room was bursting with life. Even through the paranoia, I was able to relish in the fact that yes, I am here with those still breathing. Still fighting.

Now look what it'll become. Another relic of the past where dust soon'll settle and the stench of fresh corpse will, no doubt, cause the Zs to climb up here. Part of me wondered if the guys did something to stop that. To hide the bodies or maybe even cover them up at the very least but the thought didn't last long. Something about a corpse underneath a white sheet disturbed me more than I should've.

I slyly gazed up at my two companions for the time being. Both stuck in their minds as their faces were expressionless. When Jake looked up, I found myself turning away. Instinctively pulling my arms up so I could cover my face only to wince as the dull pain in my left begun to yell at me once more.

He did his best, saying something about how he used to help out with the infirmary back with his old gang, but it was barely a viable patch job. I suppose that's what to expect when you don't have a medic.

"So... what now?" He spoke out finally. I shifted my attention back and forth, trying to determine which of them will speak first, but found my own blabber mouth running on a course of its own.

"I want to go back home."

"What?" Nick exclaimed, a perplexed look crossing his features as Jake shook his head.

"She probably means the base she had here, near the mall? Not back where we all came from."

"Well do you really have to go there?"

I found myself glaring at Nick, straightening up my posture, before slowly nodding. Finding no energy to exert any more emotions than that is needed. My nails, once more, trailing along the sides of my face and picking at the bumps that resided there.

"There's supplies. Shelter. It's hard to get to."

He nodded before pushing himself off from the wall. Once more, his hardened mask took over his features as he lazily placed his rifle on his shoulders. Jake followed suit next as he begun to grab at the extra bags of supplies we packed. A various mix of weapons, pills, but mainly food and water. He grunted before reaching a hand out to offer it to me.

"Come on friend, let's head home."

================================

It was a struggle, but we made it there. By passing the Zs who sniffed the fresh blood on us and g.r.o.a.n.e.d just a bit louder than usually. Getting back up was much harder due to my lame arm but it was necessary.

By the time we opened the doors, I already felt comfort and tears begin to prick at the sides of my eyes. The waft of dust that hit us just made those feelings amplified as my own two feet begun to drag me over to the pile of pillows that used to be my bed.

I can hear the two talk through the muffling of cushions that I buried myself in. I think Jake was explaining about how I found the place, maybe even how we met? I didn't bother caring too much. Too content with being in this place of familiarity. A place that was void of any past and any present trouble.

Moments passed and I begun to forget. The feelings of the plush pillows and familiar scents almost made me forget everything that's happened. It felt so easy to just close my eyes and get rid of the red in my mind. Get rid of the angered and disapproving faces. Maybe even the deep ache in my c.h.e.s.t where a gap resides.

The thought of forgetting was quickly snuffed out as a hand poked at my legs, still exposed from deep within my pillow pile. A disgruntled sigh left me when I slid out only to see Jake's concerned face. He was trying so hard to try and show that nothing was wrong but I knew him far too long now to be fooled.

"Nick, he..." He gulped as he tugged on his beard again, "He's saying we should get going. Get away from this place as fast as possible. The food supply's running low in this area to begin with, we wouldn't last a week here. He knows of some place... I think near by the suspension bridge? You know south of this place?"

"We can follow the subway lines," Nick interjected as he walked away from one of the windows, "I know a spot in the next city over that we can jump the fence for, we just need to follow the tracks after. We'll be heading to my old gang. I'm sure they don't mind scratching my back considering the shit I helped them with."

I nodded numbly, pulling my legs to my c.h.e.s.t as a deep sigh left me. I wanted to cry, having just got to my house but soon having to leave it. Nick sighed before taking a sit in front of me as he motioned toward Jake to do the same.

"Before we go, I want us to do a little ritual. Just something to honor our fallen friends. Shaina, you still have a blade yeah?"

Confused, I nodded as I grabbed my tiny switch blade. He smiled in approval as he grabbed a flask from deep in the pocket of his jacket. Soon a small ensemble of colored candles was placed in front of us as well. Nick wordlessly lit each as he stared into the flickering flames.

"I lost friends, family even today. And this ritual will seal their crossing and lend me their strength. I need everyone to partake and take a small sip. Please, this is for them."

Without question we complied. I don't know if I did it out of respect or if I actually felt the need from my past self to do this, but I did so anyway. Letting the drink burn the back of my throat that I barely missed what Nick did next when I winced. My eyes grew wide as he rolled the sleeves of his jacket up only to slide my blade along his skin. As blood began to trickle, soon pouring down, I watched as each bead of red get caught on other scars that littered his arms.

His eyes slip closed as he took one last big gulp, his mouth muttering words underneath his breath, as he snuffed each flame quietly. I was too tired, too numb to say anything. Each of us packing what we can and silently heading out.

The world's changed.

That is a fact everyone knows.

Once Z day hit, we all knew that the foundation of society would crumble under the pressure. Old laws and morals were stripped away. I know there are still some who would argue but the fact still stands.

We are not what we used to be.

I don't know if what we did was the right thing. Maybe I'll never know. But as the slow rise of the sun began to cast long shadows on the streets, I know one thing is for certain.

Despite all that's happened, I am still here. A bit broken, a bit damaged, a bit changed. But it's still me.

And I'll remain to be.