Can I Really Keep My Goddess Wife To Myself And Away From All The Crazy OP MCs?

I find that I have been sighing a lot ever since I met my wife.

Was it really my good fortune in meeting her? Or was it terrible luck? Sure, she is undeniably the most gorgeous and enchanting woman I have ever laid eyes upon, but lately all I'm doing is being bullied to death.

One day my pent up frustration will definitely explode. No, it is definitely about to explode. A certain friend I know is now blue and under the weather after a long night after all. It took all my effort but I managed to calm a certain fellow down after a long sleepless night.

You may ask me what kind of god I may be to pull it off with the situation I was in, but I can only tell you I am ashamed. I've heard of certain types of dreams before, but I've never heard of something like spontaneous…

I don't even want to think about it. There are definitely quick shooters in this world, but really, I endured for eight hours. Eight hours under that torture before I had the opposite of a certain type of unspeakable dream all while I had wide open bloodshot eyes. I feel I must reiterate this, but I am not a pervert.

The humiliation I felt on this day. I don't think I will ever forget it for the rest of my life.

"Fufufu. Husband you made quite the mess last night. You should probably go clean yourself up."

Whose fault do you think this is? I wanted to cry but no tears would fall.

She wouldn't even let me clean up after it happened and let me suffer for an additional two hours until now all while I was unable to move an inch.

It was the first form of release after over half a month, but in no way, shape or form was the process enjoyable. It was only a painful and excruciating turn of events.

"Little wife…"

It seems my wife felt slightly bad seeing my pitiful eyes begging for forgiveness.

"Silly husband. Don't go stalking other woman when your wife intends to do you a favor next time."

"Aren't you bullying your husband too much?"

"Your wife was nice enough to relieve you of over half a month of pent up frustration. Shouldn't you be thankful?"

"My wife, shouldn't that be a much more enjoyable experience?"

"It depends on your own actions. Husband, do not underestimate the power of a wife when she dishes out punishment."

It felt like I was constantly falling for the carrot she put in front of me. My d.e.s.i.r.e for raising my strength only increased the longer I spent together with her. I just need enough strength to not be bullied by my wife!

One day I will definitely become the one that bullies! That is the only dream in this little life of mine.

"Husband, do you want to bully me?"

Am I that easy to read?

"Or perhaps you secretly enjoy being bullied deep down?"

No. Definitely not.

"You can keep hiding it if you want, it's cute after all."

I am not a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t.

I'm not… right?

I felt slightly uncertain now, but I must definitely become the bully. My pride can't accept this fate.

MCs fight against adversity. Well this little side character will fight against the bullying of his beautiful wife!

Don't you underestimate me my wife.

Seeing the determination in my eyes my little wife giggled like she knew everything.

Can I have some privacy please? Stop invading my thoughts like I'm an open book for the world to see. I wish I could read you like you read me.

"Husband, husband. I just remembered. Father sent us some toys to play with in the time you were in your secluded training for ten days."

When I heard toys, I will not lie, I got a little excited thinking of certain items.

"Take a look at what he sent over."

Betraying my expectations, my wife took out a rectangular device from thin air like a magician and handed it over to me.

"This one is mine. Isn't it cute?"

"It's just a smartphone, isn't it?"

"Husband had quite some interesting gadgets in his world. In fact, we've never seen such a mystical box with so many functions before."

"Father taught me all about how to use it through that texting app thing he made called Wazzap."

It felt really out of place seeing this device in this world of cultivation.

"Little wife to use this device to its full potential you need an internet connection."

"Ah. There's reception? How is that possible? Does internet exist in this world?" Weeing those all too familiar five dots at the top left I was really surprised.

"Father made some modifications to it before he sent it over. Apparently it can communicate with anyone regardless of how far away, no matter where they may be, all in an instant."

That's actually really impressive. Even on earth there was still limitations on speed and distance due to server limitations, speed of data transmission and signal strength deterioration.

"Did he also send one for me?"

"Naturally he did."

My wife opened up a rift and shoved her hand into it while digging about, but no matter how long passed a strange confused expression remained floating on her face.

After a while spent searching she said "I can't seem to find it. Strange. I had it yesterday for sure. I was tinkering about with it after all. It even had a system specifically installed for you by father."

"System?"

Hearing such a bizarre term I was not expecting I couldn't help but show a questioning look.

"Yes, it is a system designed to aid you in your cultivation."

As soon as I heard that I felt a chill run down my back.

Would father in law really be so kind?

Or rather, aren't all systems things MCs should have?

This must be some kind of elaborate trap. An old codger like him must be scheming something in the background! A system of suspicious origin is definitely something I must never accept. How can I possibly take such a terrifying thing?

A system created by the mightiest existence is definitely nothing I can just laugh off. It's far too suspicious.

Hell, the systems I've read about will issue out quests, rewards and punishments for failure.

The heaviest among punishments for failure being death. There's no way in hell I want such a sketchy system. I'd be a moron to accept it.

"Little wife I don't need such a system. Systems are for cheaters. I'm naturally a righteous straight shooter, how can I possibly take the easy way in cultivating my way to the top?"

My wife what is the meaning behind that strange twitch to your lip? Is there something strange in what I said? You of all people should know how hard I worked to become a 2nd realm semi transcendent in less than a month. If anything, you should be praising your husband for being such a steadfast, iron willed, and determined to succeed individual.

"Husband… alright we'll forget about the system father made for you. How about if I personally make a system for you? It'll just be for everyday life. I'll go ask my father how to make one, so wait here for a moment."

Without giving me the time to reject the offer, my wife disappeared before my eyes once more.

You'd think I'd be more concerned about the matters of the system at this moment, but something else caught my attention.

…there was no rift this time. Was that rift you opened up every time before just for show?

What the hell, aren't you actually better at posing than me? Or are you just getting lazier to keep up the act?

Well, she did have a fine teacher like me after all.

It's only natural she would be as talented as her husband. A dragon husband can't have a useless wife.

If my wife heard me say that I'm sure I'd be in for some serious punishment. Luckily I'm not dumb enough to blab that out loud for the world to hear. The heavens are a bit concerning after all, it feels like they can hear everything I say or think.

Please my good junior brother heavens up above, don't be a tattletale and rat me out. It's hard enough when my wife can read me like an open book when she's in front of me. If she could do the same when she's not even around, I'll die of anxiety.

If I looked outside at this moment I would have noticed there were some clouds twitching strangely at that moment. Unfortunately I was too distracted with my own worries at the moment to care to look at the sky right now.

After thirty minutes passed by, a finger was magically poking at my cheek from mid air. Holy crap! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!

If I didn't know it was my wife and I saw a floating finger of unknown origin I would have definitely peed my pants. Ghosts are scary! Don't misunderstand, I'm a manly man who has gone through life and death once already. It's not that I'm not man enough to face a ghost, it's just that they're too scary. Don't blame me, blame the ghosts please.

"Husband did you miss me?"

What the hell? Go away for longer please. You could've taken your time! I barely even had the time to clean up the accident from last night.

"Hahaha. You sure were fast my wife."

"Anyway, I found out how to create a system and I made one specifically for you darling."

So fast?!! What do you even mean you made it?!

"Hear you go."

I don't want it! No! Really, I'm serious! Please don't look at me with sparkling eyes with expectation. You trying to shove it off to me like this is even more scary than the thought of taking the one your father made!

"Can I change my mind and look for the one your father initially planned to give me?"

She frowned and discontentedly said, "you're not going to take the first thing your loving wife has personally made for you?"

Those hurt eyes aren't going to change my mind! Don't try to guilt trip me into this! I know it's a trap! All systems are rigged!

"My wife…"

Ugh, those fake crocodile tears…

You know, I can see the eye drops you're trying to hide behind your back. You could at least try to hide it properly, right? You can rip open space, yet you can't hide a measly bottle from my sight? I'd be a nitwit to buy that! Are you purposely showing it to me?

Is this some kind of those stupid shit tests women like to pull to test your feelings for them?

"Husband. This little wife did her best to try and find something that would be useful to you and you won't accept this wife's good intentions?"

Good intentions my arse! Don't sway, my heart. My heart, you must stand strong and firm against this assault.

"I REFUSE!"

I'm not a damn MC who gets swayed by guilt! For the love of god, I'm just a side character!

A cold and emotionless voice rang out, "no nightly activities between husband and wife for 1 million years."

My breathing became ragged, "little wife…"

"10 million."

Can we not even bargain here?

Seeing I was still hesitating she continued, "100 million."

Realizing things would only get worse the longer I refused I could only grit my teeth with despair in my eyes while rubbing the right side of my face with my palm.

I begrudgingly said, "fine."

"I knew my husband was not a coward who would let down my high expectations."

A gorgeous smile bloomed on her face and she happily leaned forward and planted a peck on my left cheek after I accepted the phone and turned it on. Was that supposed to be my consolation prize?

My wife nodded innocently like she predicted what I was thinking.

My wife, when your gentle approach doesn't succeed the horror of your other side is far too terrifying. Your blackmail truly stings the heart. I now have a much better understanding of how your father felt. I'm allowed to cry now, right?

Please no more eyes filled with expectations. We've been there already.

She really wants me to use it right away?

Haaaah. Here goes nothing I guess.

So, what kind of cheat like item is this?

What? It looks surprisingly normal. This isn't so scary after all, there's just a bunch of standard apps. Let's see Phone, Wazzap, App Store, Clock, Wallet, Stocks, Reminders, Notes, Calendar, Photos, Videos, Camera, Health, Find my Phone, Settings.

What the hell why are they all so normal? I felt slightly let down at how bland it all was. It was like having ones expectations completely shattered.

I swiped to the left and I saw three apps I couldn't help but twitch my lips at.

FaceSlapBook, Cultivation Weekly and GrindrX.

The first one I can somehow accept, I figure it's probably some stupid social app. The second one I can also accept, just treat it like the news, but what is with this questionable third app?

I couldn't help but look at my wife with question marks written all over my face.

My wife just smiled and blinked innocently back at me.

"My wife about this app."

"Father said it was a really good app for making friends. He said he highly recommended that I install it for you. He said he hopes it would open your eyes to a whole new world."

Father in law! Are you telling me to venture to lands of undiscovered countries upon which no travellers return?

Please give me a break! I don't like forests, I prefer to be surrounded by great mountains or within magnificent valleys. I don't need a bunch of excessively large sticks poking out of the ground. Please don't mistake my preferences.

I held down on the app and the app started to wiggle as I tried to delete it . I could see an X in the upper left corner of the other two apps but to my horror there was no X for GrindrX. Is the X in the app name supposed to be making fun of me?

You're more useless than the Health app dammit! Not even once in my life have I used the damn thing, yet I can't delete the stupid thing! You're telling me I'm stuck with this stupid app? How did he even do it?

I swiped to the left once more in frustration and I finally saw where all the real problems were hiding.

About My Wife, My Wife's Heart, 101 Ways to Move Your Wife, S.e.x.u.a.l Preferences, System Avatar, System Missions, System Inventory, System Shop, and System Settings.

Click.

A black screen.

I saw nothing. I feel nothing. I heard nothing.

Yes, I'm in denial. I did not see any weird apps just now. Nothing at all. Trust me, there was not a single strange or suspicious app on that third page.

"Husband, why did you suddenly turn the phone off?"

"My little wife, the laws of the world work in mysterious ways. I heard a voice that told me to turn the phone off and never turn it on again."

"Husband you naturally cannot do that. You must see things through to the end. Those apps on the last page were the most important ones of all. How can you not even look through them?"

"What third page?"

"You were just on it."

"Was I?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Twenty seconds ago."

"Then why don't I remember seeing it?"

"Husband."

"Yes."

"Are you sure you didn't see it?"

"See what?"

"Fufufu. Is that your final answer?"

Why is my wife so scary?

"I think I remembered wrongly, it's suddenly coming back to me."

"It's good that your recovered your memories my dear husband. Now you aren't going to waste all the effort your loving wife put into personally handcrafting those apps for you, now are you? It would just break my fragile heart into tiny pieces if husband were to do such a heartless thing after all the effort that went into making them."

It took your thirty minutes. Thirty minutes! That is by far the shortest development time I have ever heard of. Did you have hamsters coding it for you? Did you trap them in cages? Who was in the alpha? Beta? Worst yet, there's not one app but nine of them! Did you capture all the computer science grads and programmers around the world to get all that work done in thirty minutes?

"What if I said I was going to do just that?"

"Fufufu."

Scary! Freaking scary! Those eyes that are clearly not laughing are damn scary! Although... they are definitely s.e.xy. I might have some strange preferences.

"Hahaha. Of course I'll use the apps my dearest wife has personally made for me."

"That's great to hear, I can only imagine what kind of punishment there would be for a husband that was cruel enough to break their little wife's heart."

Ding.

The phone vibrated in my hand and there was a notification on the screen.

Let's see, the heading was "S.e.x.u.a.l Preferences" which had a description below it that said "Gets off to his wife laughing with scary eyes."

What the hell? I do not!

Ding.

I heard another ding that came from the direction of my wife. I had a bad feeling when I saw her look down to check her phone before looking back towards me with a grin.

"Little wife. What was that notification you just received?"

"Nothing." Her expression said it was far from nothing as her eyes clearly displayed she was extremely happy.

"My little wife, do you need to tease your husband so? It's clearly not nothing."

"Fufufu. Curiosity killed the cat my husband."

Damn, it's those s.e.xy eyes again. It's really not good for my heart.

Ding.

Again? Why did she get another notification?

This time my wife didn't bother to check it. It was like she already knew what it was without even looking.

I feel like I really have no privacy for some inexplicable reason. This should be against some sort of laws right?

Ding.

Another notification for me?

What is it this time?

"My Wife's Heart" it reads "Very happy."

Holy heavens almighty, isn't this actually super convenient?

Maybe it's not so bad after all. I, of course, was still ignoring a few other terrifying apps that were still in there waiting for me at the time.

Well I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least check out some of the apps. I'm actually quite curious about that System Avatar app. It's not because I'm some sort of pervert expecting a cute girl avatar or anything. I just don't want it to be a crusty old man. That's all, I swear! Don't judge me.