Can I Really Keep My Goddess Wife To Myself And Away From All The Crazy OP MCs?

(POV System Avatar)

Where am I? Am I dead? Why me?

The last thing I remember was falling asleep last night.

Wait.

There is something else. I had a strange dream as well, didn't I.

What was it again?

Right!

That was it.

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked outside my window. In my drowsiness I felt like I had seen a beautiful goddess flying through the skies bathing in the moonlight. Although, it was a rather strange scene as there was a large cage she was dragging around below her. There were a bunch of humans locked up typing away madly on laptops like their lives depended on it.

I was so distracted by that so I didn't notice it right away, but there was a shooting star that swished past her.

Wait. That's not quite right. That shooting star, she dodged it like it was a common occurrence; it even looked like it was a conditioned natural reflex! Does this happen a lot beautiful goddess? But really, holy crap! How did she dodge it like that without even looking at it?

Oh my god…

That sure as hell was not a shooting star. It was a satellite burning up in the atmosphere hurtling towards me.

That was the end of my memory.

Why me? Why not my nth last good for nothing cheating ex-boyfriend who heartlessly dumped me without giving me a second glance?

I'm a good person! I don't deserve to die so young!

Having remembered up to here, I could only think about my situation a bit further. Looking at myself, I looked rather cartoonish. Yet, there was definitely a resemblance to that goddess I saw that night. Did I transmigrate to another world as an avatar character?

Damn it, at least make me look normal! Am I not at least owed that much? Sure, I'm cute as hell now, but I want to look identical to that goddess at the very least. Then we would see who would have the last laugh between that stupid nth ex-boyfriend and I.

While I was deep in thought, I didn't notice the giant head peering towards me through the window of the room I was in.

"Little wife, this avatar really resembles you a lot, doesn't it?"

What the hell? What was that?

Oh my god, it's god-zee-lah!

Is what I'd like to say.

It was a human head. What did you eat to get so big mister godzilla man?

It was then that I froze up when my gaze landed to the face that was resting on the man's shoulder as she lovingly nuzzled her cheek against his.

"It's an avatar modelled after your wife. That way you'll never be lonely even when you can't see me when you're in your "closed door cultivation" in the future or when I'm angry with you and I don't want to see you."

What do you mean miss goddess? Is this some kind of cruel joke? I'm not you. I'm a human you know!

At least I was the last time I checked. I was curious as to whether avatar characters had a certain body part so I turned away for a moment to slightly stretch my skirt out and peered into the abyss below.

I only thought two words when I saw it as relief was planted all over my face. 'Thank god.'

Turning back around to look at the goddess. I couldn't help thinking, she was definitely normal sized the last time I saw her. Does that mean it's me who has gotten smaller?

Are you serious?

I had a bad feeling.

"Little wife. This avatar seems to be broken. It hasn't said anything and is only making strange actions and expressions. Did you actually program it correctly?"

"Naturally husband, this app is top of the line. It is not just a program but it has the finest of AIs."

AI? Does she mean me?

I could hear a voice sound out in my mind, 'I'll explain everything that happened that night, but just play along for now.'

Are you serious?

'This goddess does not kid around. You just had to wake up in the middle of the night and look out your window. You are definitely one of the unluckiest women I have ever seen. If you had just slept soundly you would not have been struck by such a calamity.'

It's my fault?! What the hell! You are clearly a scammer!

'Hmmp.'

No response? You really are one, aren't you?

'Really, I had to waste so much effort after having gathered all those coding monkeys to make those apps. I had to go to all the extra trouble to implant your soul into the avatar app they made as well.'

You're ignoring me now? Don't act like you weren't reading my thoughts all of a sudden.

'Haaah, why do I even feel guilty anymore? I admit I still feel bad whenever it happens to mortals. I guess I just have a soft spot for weak little mortals. My husband is one as well after all. It's like a bunch of stray puppies looking up at you with innocent eyes.'

'Look, be grateful, just treat it like you're the main character in a story. The ones that my husband likes to blabber about so much. Just act like you're that thing called an AI those stupid code monkeys were babbling on and on about.'

Goddess? Are you really a goddess? How can such a divine beauty be so foul tongued?

'What was that?'

Nothing!

I want to go home.

'Just give it about a million years and I can send you back in one piece as good as new.'

A million years?! No way! Send me back now! Aren't you some almighty goddess that can freely revive people with just a mere thought? Wait! Now that I think about it. What did you mean when you said you felt guilty?

'No reason. Mind your own business.'

You don't happen to be the reason behind my sudden death, do you?

'Geh.'

I died because of you? This is unreasonable, take responsibility right now and revive me!

'No can do. I don't have such abilities. Only my father does, but he can only revive you after another million years. Well, perhaps my husband could as well if he became stronger than my father in less than a million years, but that's just a fleeting dream of this little wife of his.'

You stupid couple! Give me back my life!

'Relax. Calm down and take a few deep breaths, will you? Think of if this way. Instead of living a short insignificant life of 100 years, you now have the opportunity to live for an unimaginable length of time. In fact, if you play your cards right, by the end of it you may be able to become a god yourself. While all you have to do is play the role of a system for my husband.'

System? I'm supposed to be a system? What the hell is this third rate plot line? It feels like I could name it something half assed like "I Reincarnated into a Smartphone as the Avatar of a Goddess to play the Ingenue of a System for her Husband." Abbreviated as "IRSAGISH." Damn it! Even the abbreviation of it pisses me off for some reason. It feels like a crappy joke. Am I even using ingenue right in the title? What the hell is ingenue anyways?! I'm not the smartest cookie, don't play games with me heavens up above! Why didn't I just use "role" instead? Is it my fate to be some sort of sick cruel joke?

'It's a pretty good deal you know. You don't have to face any danger, you can live as long as you d.e.s.i.r.e, and you can one day gain immense power. It's as close to a free lunch as possible right?'

Are you really ignoring my internal turmoil? You're playing games with my mind, right? Right?

'All you need to do as a system is give out missions to my husband and reward him with items I have placed in the system shop. If my husband wasn't such a lazy sloth I would just give everything to him, but he would just take it all for granted.'

Why do you act like I'm air? You don't really even care do you? It feels like I'm just an idiot talking to myself.

'The missions you give out can be anything, but your main objective is to spice up my married life with my husband. Therefore you better give out missions to make our relationship progress as a primary focus.'

Stupid couples should all just die! Damn it, why me anyways? I'm just a forever alone girl who can't even hold a relationship..

'A third of the reason was because of guilt for being the reason behind your death. Another third was because of when I took a glimpse through your memories. You definitely are attractive, but your luck with men is the worst. You've been with so many guys yet you're still a v.i.r.g.i.n? Are you kidding me? I took pity to be honest. I was after all in the singles club for two billion years. Yet different from me you have experience in relationsh.i.p.s between men and women. The last reason was that you should definitely know a girls heart well. So you better guide this blockhead husband of mine properly on matters of the heart.'

What the hell? Do it yourself! You're a mighty goddess and you can't even do this? Actually, now you answer my thoughts? Stop messing with me!

'I'm new to love. I can tease husband easily enough but I still don't have actual experience in building relationsh.i.p.s. I also don't have many close girl friends I can confide in when it comes to love. The only one I can get tips from is my master who is also my best friend who taught me how to awaken a man's carnal d.e.s.i.r.es, but capturing a heart is more than just s.e.x.'

'Hence comes you, the miraculous v.i.r.g.i.n who has been with countless guys. Your recently developed aversion towards men means you won't take an interest in my husband. You being a v.i.r.g.i.n means you likely won't go off behind my back and seduce him either. Your experience with men will allow me to understand husband's heart more. You being female gives me a confidant and an ally. You can keep an eye on my husband if I'm ever in a situation in which I can't observe him. You are the perfect candidate. The ultimate v.i.r.g.i.n mary!'

V.i.r.g.i.n this. V.i.r.g.i.n that. Damn it, is it so important that I'm a v.i.r.g.i.n?!

'Absolutely. If you were to have designs for my husband. Fufufu.'

Scary! Husband! Your wife is damn scary but s.e.xy!

Why do I suddenly feel a sense of comradery with her husband now? It must be my mind playing tricks on me.

"Wife are you really sure this thing isn't broken? It's been making some really stupid faces while not saying anything."

I take it back you jerk.

"Who's making stupid faces?! Your whole face is stupid!"

Ah. I blew it already.

The husband looked at me with wide open eyes.

"My wife, this thing can actually retort when insulted?"

"Naturally it can husband, it is a top of the line AI."

"Hahaha. Yes I am an AI. An AI. You got that ugly? Or is your brain too small too understand what a mighty and magnificent system you have acquired."

"Little wife, it's personality sucks. Can you nerf it to be more lovey dovey?"

'Stupid little girl, get your act together.'

Why?!?! I don't wanna!

'Fufufu.'

Ah fine I get it! You dumb couple! Go explode!

I said in a mechanical voice, "altering setting to lovey dovey mode."

"Hello darling husband, it's your stupid wife who love, love, loves you to death!"

"Pero."

I stuck my tongue out like an idiot while making some disgusting sound I'd rather kill myself than make while I tilted my head.

I want to kill myself.

Can I just reincarnate normally? Please?!

'No.'

I'll definitely have my revenge! I swear I will!

Of course I couldn't say this so I continued with my act making a cutesy voice while displaying an exaggerated pose putting emphasis on my c.h.e.s.t as I bent forward. "Husband won't you please accept a request of this little wife of yours?"

"Wow! This AI is really amazing my wife. How did you manage to program it feel so lifelike? But the eyes feel a bit dead. Wait. Was I just seeing things. It's suddenly overly sparkly."

Just kill me now. My eyes were completely dead just now, but I was forced to add a sparkle effect. I quickly noticed I could do stupid and useless things like this since realizing I was an avatar character in an app. This is so damn embarrassing. Why do I need to act like I'm a system programmed by this bimbo goddess?

Do you not realize how embarrassing this is? Why do you not feel the slightest embarrassment watching me do such disgusting things with an avatar appearance of yourself?

'Because it's hilarious knowing that it's not actually me.'

I could only grit my teeth and curse her in my heart. Don't let her innocent and celestial appearance fool you to think she is some kind of angel. She is definitely the devil.