Can I Really Keep My Goddess Wife To Myself And Away From All The Crazy OP MCs?

(POV Sanji)

I can't help but feel suspicious about everything. There's no way an AI could react like this. Technology was definitely not this advanced in my world.

There is no way I could have mistaken those dead eyes that appeared momentarily in the avatar's eyes.

I'll forget about if for now, but what is with all the system apps? It's pretty obvious what they all are but I'm still skeptical about this whole idea of having a cheat like system.

Side characters have no need for such useless things.

While I was still deep in thought on the other bed little Han who was asleep started to roll about the bed a bit.

I didn't pay much mind to him but I really wish I did at the time.

I was too busy playing around with the apps and looking through the missions and shop to care about what that kid was doing.

The missions board was blank at the moment. It looks like the so called system has yet to set any for me.

When I checked the shop I couldn't help but be confused. The shop had a currency which had a heart icon. What is that supposed to mean? It looks like I have 100 hearts to start with.

Let's see, what can I buy? I first opened up the miscellaneous category in the shop and after reading a few things listed I regretted opening the useless app right away.

Category: Miscellaneous

Item Description LP [Love Points]

One year of your wife's history. 1

Eleven years of your wife's history. 10 [Discounted just for you ;)]

Scented Candles 1

Valentine's Chocolate 1

Information on one of your wife's hobbies. 10

Information about one of your wife's fetishes. 100

Your wife's three sizes. 1000 [It's not cheap you know]

Excalibur (lol) ? [peh]

Ring of Invincibility (lol) ? [peh peh]

Legendary Armour (lol) ? [seriously you have your wife, what crappy life saving

artifacts do you need?]

Why are the last three even miscellaneous? Are you trying to tell me there is no category for weapons, armour, or accessories?

My wife, how lazy were you when putting this shop together?

What's with the things that I can actually buy too? They're completely useless aren't they? Or are you discreetly and indirectly trying to tell me you want me to pay more attention to you?

When I looked at the bottom of the table I saw something disturbing. Page 1 of 1000.

You're telling me there are 10000 useless items for me to choose from?

"Husband aren't you happy? There are so many useful items to choose from in this category. Also, whenever you break through a tier of strength in your cultivation more things will be unlocked in the shop. Isn't it amazing?"

I want to cry. Would it kill you to put useful things into the shop?

I didn't want to give up so I decided to change categories.

Ah look a category for consumables. Surely this will be the saving grace, right?

Category: Consumables

Item Description LP [Love Points]

Candles 1

Chocolate 1

Guitar 2

Aphrodisiac Pill 10

Aphrodisiac Incense 10

Rod up Plus 10 [;)]

Stamina Up Pill 10

Vitality Replenishment Pill 10

Fantasy Pill 10

Little Warrior's Pill 100 [Look forward to it ;). Fufufu.]

After seeing the first two items in the list I wanted to throw the phone on the ground, but I barely managed to control myself and read through the rest. I really, really wanted to complain about the person who thought they were making a funny joke with it. Do you have some kind of fetish for candles and chocolate? Huh? Well? Are you trying to make fun of me? Calm down. My wife must be hinting to me she wants to be serenaded. Yes, that must be it.

When I reached the third item, I didn't even bother to question why that was a consumable.

Everything after that; I didn't even want to think about it any more. Everything seemed pretty self explanatory but the last one on this page of consumables did leave me slightly puzzled. It would be really nice if there was a description for what each one did, but I guess my wife wants things to be a surprise. That message beside the point required to purchase it also has me curious.

In conclusion, what I learned from this was the shop was completely useless. Yes. Useless.

"Wife isn't there anything more useful? Like for cultivation?"

"What are you saying husband? These items are all priceless treasures! I went through so much effort to come up with all these valuable items."

"Husband, are you trying to say you think they're worthless?"

"Hahaha. Naturally not my wife. I, of course, would make good use of all those wonderful items in due time. But aren't there any cheat like pills that will let me jump a few tiers?"

"There are but they are very expensive you know. With how much LP you have right now it is only a dream to get them."

"They really are there?"

"Yes."

"How do I get more LP by the way?"

"That is actually very simple. The system will give you several mission which will allow you to gain LP. You can also gain LP by doing romantic things with your wife. Moving your wife's heart is a very good way to gain LP. I strongly suggest doing everything you can to do so."

"Yeah, yeah. How else can I get LP?"

"Tch. Breaking through realms will also award you with LP. Making yourself look good in front of your wife will also work. For example defeating a powerful enemy in front of me. I don't recommend that route. It doesn't reward as much LP."

What is with this stupid system?

My wife, you have to be joking with me, right? I get you want me to be lovey dovey, but I want to be stronger than you so I don't get bullied by you anymore.

The two of us were so far off in our own little world that we completely ignored the light building up around little Han.

(POV little Han)

I was sleeping so well but there seems to be something hard that has been poking at my rear for the last while now. I even had a nightmare because of that stupid thing. Ugh, I don't want to think about rods for the next little while.

I stretched my hands to grab it and move it out of the way, but when I touched the cold flat surface of the object poking at my rear I could feel my whole body heating up.

A voice sounded in my mind as well.

It was the voice of an old man.

'Scanning host conditions. Scanning complete. Integrating system with host's life force.'

Wait, what? Integrating what? Please don't joke with me. I was innocently minding my own business enjoying my not so peaceful slumber after my heartbreak yesterday and all of a sudden I'm told something is integrating with my life force? This is a joke right?

'This is not a joke. Beginning system mission.'

What system mission? No no no I'm a child, my adoptive father told me not to talk to strangers. Please go away, I don't need any missions. Nana, nana, na, na. I don't hear anything.

What's a system anyway? Is it like a strange uncle offering bizarre cultivation pills? My adoptive father told me to be even more wary of such sketchy people.

'Mission 1: Build a harem(minimum of four) within two months and forget about having your way with my daughter you little beast.'

WHAT?! No! I don't even have a single woman! What daughter? Are you a scammer? Who's a beast? I'm an innocent twelve year old child!

I've never felt so wronged in my life!

'Consequence of failure: Impotence.'

What do you mean impotence? Isn't the consequence too ridiculous? You're definitely a scammer!

'Rewards: One Legendary Grade 10 Transcendent Pill.'

'Effects: Allows one to break through to transcendent realm.'

'Breaking through with the use of this pill will result in a foundation far sturdier than the normal method of breakthrough and will leave no negative effects like other forms of breakthrough.'

What? For real? All I have to do is create a harem of four woman and I get a free pass like this? No no no. How can such a good deal possibly exist? My adoptive father said to be wary of such scams.

'Mission 2: Reach the limits of power that can be maintained within a mortal realm within two months. Pinnacle of power within a mortal realm is breaking through to the transcendent realm.'

'Consequences of failure: Crippling of cultivation base.'

'If you cannot even accomplish that, what right do you have to keep cultivating after making it so easy for you.'

'Reward: 10000 SP'

'SP can be redeemed in the system shop.'

'Mission 3: Lose your v.i.r.g.i.n.i.t.y to anyone but my daughter within two months. Losing it to my daughter results in automatic mission failure.'

Damn it! Mister, who is this great daughter you keep speaking of? I would really like to know so I don't screw myself over!

'Consequences of failure: Hehehe.'

What is that supposed to mean?!

Why so ominous mister system?

'Reward: One Mystery Pill'

'Effects: Unknown'

I knew it! You were a strange uncle the entire time!

'Disclosing details of any missions is prohibited and missions will be deemed as a failure and will result in death.'

Death? Just for telling people the mission details? You're definitely ripping me off, right? Why do I need to be so secretive about it? Can I just give you to someone else? I really don't want you.

'System is non transferable. Giving system away will result in automatic death, please be advised.'

Now you answer my question?!

After the system finished with his spiel it seems the system was not quite satisfied. It seems it really wanted to make more trouble for me for some reason.

Looking outside the window beside the bed I was resting on, the entire world aside from the area around the sect darkened as purple clouds could be seen blotting out the sun's rays. There was only a small patch of light that was allowed to spill through the purple clouds. It was like the eye of the storm. It illuminated over the entire area containing the Good Fortune sect.

This is your fault you scammer! It must be!

What did I ever do to you? We only just met, right? Did I slap your nine generations of ancestors? Did I prance about atop their graves while dragging my a.s.s along the ground? Did I spit in all their faces? Please tell me I will bend my back this one time and apologize. Just please stop trying to cause trouble for me!

(POV Sanji)

Finally noticing the unusual events transpiring, I looked over to little Han who had widened eyes with his jaw dropped. His gaze was locked on the scenery outside the window.

I felt it was strange so I put my phone away and walked over to take a look.

Holy mother of... what is this nonsense? When in doubt. This must be the result of the main character!

"Little Han. What did you do?"

"Venerable master? Why do you think this is my doing? Shouldn't this be your doing?"

"Don't look at this master. This is definitely a result of your actions. I am 100% certain of this."

"It's not my fault, I swear!"

Little Han really looked like he wanted to cry.

Now that I think about it. It's a bit fishy, isn't it? Whatever happened to the first phone father in law made for me?

"Ah. Little Han, what is that in your hand?"

"This? What is this? I don't really know either, but when I touched it, my body felt really hot for some reason and then I heard a voice in my head. Some strange scamming uncle was blabbering about some incomprehensible terms like system, missions, consequences, rewards, SP, shop, etc."

"It also said if I disclosed any details of missions or handed this thing to others I would… I rather not say."

Hahaha! I told you! Systems are all scams! This brilliant handsome side character dodged the bullet big time. It sucks to be you little MC! Hahahah!

I had the urge to break out into laughter but I had to keep up appearances. I kept my eyes as calm and distant as possible. I said the following words with an appearance like I were reminiscing about events of the far off past.

"Child, it looks like you have been chosen by this realm."

"I really didn't expect to come across the events spoken of in legends once more."

"Child it looks like you will face a very bumpy road in the future. There will be uncountable hardsh.i.p.s you must face. The events transpiring outside is only the beginning. You must prepare your heart, child. The sect will face a calamity like none before. Child, the only one that can go against this calamity is you. You must keep your head low through the turbulent times until you are strong enough to face it head on."

"To help you get through these times without drawing eyes to you, I will make it so your cultivation base appears to be that of a 6th realm mortal."

I signaled to my wife with my eyes to work her magic. She grumbled under her breath and she manipulated the energy around little Han to make it appear as though he was a 6th realm mortal.

If I do this, it should be more interesting. I get to watch the classic MC hiding his strength and slapping some old farts faces. I bet I can make my newly accepted disciple into a scapegoat who will be whisked away by the great powers of this realm. I bet those suckers will think the heavens are pointing out the birth of a great genius or treasure or something stupid like that.

Hahaha. It feels so good being able to sit back and manipulate the world so easily while being a side character. Am I not like a secret hidden boss? I just need to make sure I grab onto my wife's leg whenever the going gets tough and all my problems will be solved.