Crocodile Tears

After he settled down next to me, for the longest time, it was near silent. Afraid to open my eyes, all I could sense from around me was his even breathing. Was he asleep? Lying on my back, I soon found the position to be quite uncomfortable. But even the slightest sound from shifting around boomed like thunder.

The night seemed to drag on indefinitely, and each minute appeared to be more like an hour. So I stayed there, unmoving, not daring once to test my theory. And time continued its terrible curse as the candles burned on…

Blinking, the first thought that crossed my mind was that the candlelight burned my very eyes. It was surely too bright.

"Awake?" A lazy voice sounded, and every muscle in my body tensed involuntarily. It was almost as if a giant bucket of water was suddenly dumped on me, forcing any remnant of sleep away. With it, the moments from last night came rushing back, reminding me thoroughly of its awkwardness and the like.

Luckily, he was already nearly fully dressed, a dull and unadorned purple robe in place of the more lavish red one from before.

A crimson belt dr.a.p.ed down his side added the final touch of color, and a small jade pendant hung on his waist. If I hadn't known he was the Prince of Jin, judging from the shabby way he dressed, even the role of court musician would have seemed too high for him.

However, though it was simple in design, from the way he wore it, there was a certain sense of richness and royalty. Perhaps it was the way that he stood without any angle to his back or his expression.

"At this rate, we're going to be late to Father Emperor and Mother Empress." He said, motioning to me. Looking down, I found myself wrapped almost like a roll inside countless layers of blankets that I somehow amassed overnight. Peeking out from under the covers, I tried to waste no time in dressing myself.

A partnership was a partnership after all. How could the actress possibly be late to her very first screening?

Tugging on the elaborate knots, more than anything, I wished that my dress could be as simple as his. At home, since I had to be out by dawn every day to collect the dew and herbs, I learned to put on my robes at record times. But ever since taking on this title as Princess of Liang, the process has been a much lengthier one, even with the help of multiple servants.

Strangely enough, the tent was empty, not a single maid in sight.

"Here." A look of amus.e.m.e.nt was visible across his face as he handed me a lilac-colored dress. Great. It was almost as if he was finally done seeing me make a fool out of myself. Wasn't he the one that was the master actor? Surely he shouldn't have so easily risked being late.

I immediately got to work. He occasionally handed me a belt or offered to hold a part as I was putting on another, but with this simple robe, his help was not essential. The gesture was appreciated though I suppose.

No, I couldn't think of him as such. He was my husband. No, that word sounds awful in this case. Ally suited our relationship much better. He wanted the favors, and I, in return, sought the wellbeing of my country. This would work. At this point, I wasn't quite sure if I was just trying too desperately to convince myself.

The last piece slid together. All I needed now was to do my hair. For the Emperor and Empress, a reasonable one would suffice, I suppose.

I tried to avoid glancing at him from the reflection in the bronze mirror, but somehow, my gaze was drawn continuously in that direction. Focus. You need to make an excellent first impression as a daughter-in-law. A bit unwillingly, I retracted my gaze.

"Here, add this for now to your hairstyle. If you go with what you have now, Mother Empress will surely think you are disrespecting her with your lack of effort," he coached me, a wooden hairpin suddenly appearing in his slender fingers. Where it came from alluded my knowledge. It was almost like magic as he fished it from thin air. "You mustn't be lavish, but they also stress respect through noticeable gestures."

Bending behind me, he undid my hair, parting it to either side. Stroke by stroke, he ran the comb through it, trying to avoid tearing through any knots. His touch was gentle, nearly too soft to belong to a man. Picking up a sizeable amount, he wrapped it around the back before looping it around again.

What was he doing? I wanted to ask, but a voice inside me told me to just believe in him.

In less than a few minutes, a fashionable but not eye-catching hairdo took shape, safely secured by the wooden hairpin. Despite the short amount of time that it took him, it certainly looked like a masterpiece that took a few people to design over the course of an hour, every bit showing consideration.

"How?" His work rivaled that of the most skilled maids, and I couldn't help but exclaim with a newfound shock. Who was he really?

He only shrugged, casting it off as if nothing had happened. "A'Wu used to cry a lot, and the only way she would calm down was when someone did her hair. Mother… Mother Empress was always busy with court affairs, my sisters were much older, and Crown Prince had his studies. So naturally, the task fell to me." He gazed off into the distance, peering down memory lane as a near outsider, somehow seeming so removed from such a personal interaction.

If he hadn't just done that in front of me, I would have definitely thought that he was speaking about a different person.

"Are you scared of pain?" He asked out of the blue.

I shook my head, but he turned away anyways, grabbing the scissors that sat there from yesterday.

Without any hesitation, he rolled up a bit of his sleeves and brought the blade to the underside of his arm. A trickle of red ran down his fingertips, dying the before-white sheet a scarlet red.