Yuna combed her hip-length subtle rosy-brown hair and tie it into a waterfall braid. She looked at the mirror and saw the reflection of herself. She nodded and smiled happily after checking out the outfit that she chose, a floral top over a pair of jeans. She took her purse and went out after asking her brother to take care of her house since none of her parents were at home.

She lived with her parents and a brother in a two-storey suburban house, which belonged to her parents. Her parents were quite healthy for people of their age. The house had a large living room, which accommodated two sofa sets with a coffee table in between. A grand chandelier hung in the ceiling of the living room. The kitchen at the back of the house was equipped with kitchen cabinets filled with kitchen utensils. There was a large dining room there.

Her family had lived there since they return from abroad when she was still in primary school. During middle school, she always went to Ryuga's house. She recalled her school days. It was the time with him that she could not forget.

She always asked him to help her with her homework. She remembers how distant he was the first time she saw him. After finishing their homework, she would bug him into playing with her. She sometimes slept in his house since she was very close to Ryuga's family.

The moment Yuna remembered most when both her and his families went to picnic together. They went to a nearby waterfall which was located about twenty kilometres from her house. Both of them soaked themselves near the waterfall while swimming. The water was crystal clear and cool. She recalled that she was having really fun that day.

[I like you]

Yuna blurted out one day after dozing off. By the time she had realized it, Ryuga glanced at her with his deep purple eyes only to answer her with only one word.

[Oh…]

[…]

Yuna was dumbstruck. Her face was already burning red and yet, Ryuga's face did not change at all, still maintaining an expressionless face.

[So, *yawn* what do you like about me?]

He lazily asked.

[I like your smile. But what I like the most is your loving character.]

He widened his eyes. He started to doubt his ears whether it was truly function or not.

[…]

[I might be the opposite?]

He said mysteriously, and unconsciously revealed a cold glint within his eyes. Unfortunately, Yuna took no notice of it since she was looking down, too fl.u.s.tered and unable to look directly at Ryuga's face.

[Well…T-that…I knew because I always saw you treat other people pretty coldly. But I believed that you were different inside.]

She muttered softly.

[…]

Ryuga looked at the blue sky and scratched the back of his head.

[Kay…What else?]

[You…you naughty man! You're teasing me!]

Yuna screamed, embarrassed.

[…]

[Sigh…Yuna-san?]

[Y-Yes?]

[I'm sorry.]

She was stunned. She soon realized that she was rejected and slowly, began to sob. After that, she returned home feeling heartbroken. She knew that there was nothing she could do to change his mind.

[I'm not that lucky woman, huh?]

*****

-4.50-

Looking at the time on my wrist watch, I wore my favorite purple hoodie and cover up my mouth with a black mask. I had promised Yuna to meet her at Suutabak. That place was only ten minutes walked from my house.

Yuna was already there when I arrived.

[…]

[Ryuga-san!]

She called me. Answering her, I lightly nodded.

[Am I beautiful?]

She suddenly asked while making a spin and stop in front of me.

[…]

I paused for a moment and I pet her on her head.

[You're always beautiful]

Despite being rejected, she was still trying her best. I admitted that I admire her braveness for a bit. I didn't think I could do it the same way as she did. What do you expect from someone who suffers an illness because he lived for too long? Even his mentality will be affected. Other than speaking to himself, the number of persons that he actually talks with didn't even surpass the number of fingers that he has.

[I will wait!]

Yuna smiled.

[I'm going to remember this moment forever.]

I felt guilty…The guiltiness is eating me.

I could hear the machines on the counters burst into life. Yuna and I were already inside, sitting near the counter. The light flicker on and sent a warm glow through the whole café. Yuna waved her hand and called the worker the moment she sat. I was ushered by her to order.

[Well, what can I get you?]

She asked me. Yuna could see I scanned the menu from under my lashes.

[Venti, Caramel Frappucino]

I said in my usual emotionless voice. Yuna held back her laugh.

[I want the same one]

Yuna said. A feeling of uncertainty struck me. I tried to control my mixed emotion and quickly consoled myself.

[Alright, what should I call you?]

[Ryuu]

[Yuna]

[That would be 550 yen each]

Before she could say anything, I handed over my credit card and paid for her. It was the only way to reduce the guiltiness in my heart. I shouldn't let a girl pay for me anyway.

The barista grabbed two empty cups and wrote our names on it. He started pouring stuff into the cups, put some cream and covers it with a plastic cover. A few moments later, it arrived at our seat.

[Thank you]

Yuna picked it from the worker's hand and put one in front of me. I took it and lower the mask.

[You…will find a better person than me.]

I softly said with my deep voice, trying to convince her.

Yuna froze. She was in a state of incredulity.

*****

At first, Yuna couldn't process his words. She just couldn't begin to wrap her brain around what he'd just said. She's known him from when he was still a child. But aside from that, she didn't know anything about what he was thinking.

Or maybe she did know. Maybe she'd understood him even though it was not perfect. Sometimes, she could feel that she was actually very far from him although he was close. Like both of them didn't come from the same world.

[I won't give up!]

She burst out a remark, startling the whole people in the cafe. Realising what she had done, she quickly apologized to everyone and sat back.

*****

There was silence hung over the air as an awkward atmosphere continue. For the whole time, I could only sit still while looking outside. I have never been a person who was good with words. So, I'll wait. I'll wait until she decided to speak up first.

[Do you have someone in your mind?]

I tilted my head. I couldn't understand her question. I wasn't sure of what she meant by that statement.

[Someone that you like.]

L-Like?

Yuna realized that I was puzzled and confused. She followed with another statement. She eyed me in silence. In reality, I could hardly comprehend the true meaning of someone who had fallen in love or maybe the feeling of liking someone. Otherwise, I wouldn't treat my friends as love-struck fools. With exception of my fifth life, I had never been close with other women other than her. But, I was not oblivious to it. If I didn't even know that, what's the point of living more than six lives?

I couldn't help think about my past lives. I hadn't married and I didn't have any children either. I had thought that it was pointless, marriage, having kids and so on. All of those were pointless. What should I do after that anyway?

I stayed with her for quite a while and after everything she did for me, I still hadn't known whether what I felt about her was loved or not. I didn't like human that much. It didn't change until now. That's why I was always annoyed by my brother who likes to hang out with others. I was annoyed with my friends and didn't mind treating them coldly.

I shook my head to answer Yuna's question. I tried to find an appropriate reason to explain but I seemed couldn't as if the words were stuck at my throat. Yuna started smiling as soon as she saw. In fact, she looked very happy because she thought that she still had time to make me fall for her.

We walked together outside while she happily held my hand, dragging me to watch a movie with her. I couldn't reject her. I inhaled sharply. The feeling of guiltiness is still eating me. I don't understand. I couldn't understand. Why did I decide to kill myself in my past life again?

Ah, I was tired…

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