Dark Lord Dumbledore

As the ancient elf danced around in excitement ( and was surprisingly spry for his age) at the thought of receiving something designed to maim and kill, Chad wondered if he should have just made another pimp cane.

'Well, too late now. I hope the little wannabe murder-hobo doesn't ask for a scythe!' Chad thought to himself as he watched the elf finally calm down.

"So Kreacher, you don't have to decide yet. Please do some research first on suitable weapons that could be disguised in a symbol of your station as head-elf, then let me know. In the meantime, do you think it is possible to enter Grimmauld Place now?"

"Of course, Master! Though I will have to lower the defences to let you in." Explained House Black's head-elf.

A few seconds later and they were standing outside 12 Grimmauld Place, waiting for Kreacher to give them the all-clear. A common misconception about the ancestral Black family home was that it had always been under the Fidelius Charm. It did, however, have a muggle repelling charm like The Leaky Cauldron, which confused the mailman when the house numbers went from 11 - 13. If it was under a Fidelius Charm, then Narcissa Malfoy (née Black) would have been able to crash the Order of the Phoenix meetings. Otherwise, they would have had to dispell the immensely complex spell, while hiding a house from the neighbours that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and then recast it with Dumbledore as the keeper.

No, the reason that the house stood untouched, was because it had ridiculously offensive protective wards that activated upon Walburga's death. The house then passed to her only living descendent, Sirius, who had been blasted off the family tree but had apparently not been disinherited. So when Narcissa rocked up to claim the place as a branch member of the Black family, the protective wards did not respond as she wasn't the Master. The kicker was that Kreacher was keyed into the wards, and while he could not transfer the authorisation to anyone, he could let people through them! If only the wizardkind did not have such a hate-boner for elves.

The door of 12 Grimmauld Place opened and Kreacher and gave Chad a formal bow, his arm sweeping out in a flourish to welcome him inside. Not ten paces past the foyer and they were greeted with Sirius's mother, Walburga Black's portrait. The books did her a disservice by implying she was an ugly, evil old witch. Sure she was as old as dirt, but she would have been a looker back in her prime. Would have to be to draw the attention of her second cousin, Orion Black. Then again, a lot of rednecks marry their cousins and not out of l.u.s.t... Well, l.u.s.t for their beauty!

"I see we have guests. Introduce us Kreacher." Said the severe old woman as she gazed at Kreacher, leading the odd group. It consisted of Chad, Boppy and Dippy the ninja, the other ninjas were waiting outside. She was wearing a black headscarf, making her look like she had recently come from a funeral, and her tone of voice was cold and not at all welcoming.

"Mistress, this is..." It was at this point that Kreacher realised that he didn't know his Master's name, other than he was of House Peverell.

Recognising that he never actually introduced himself to his new head-elf, Chad jumped in when he saw Kreacher faltering under the withering stare of is old Mistress.

"Allow me to introduce myself, Mrs Black. My name is Harrison Chad Peverell. But please, call me Chad."

"I see. Peverell is and old Pureblood family name that died out, I believe the descendants now go by Potter, correct?"

Chad gave her a smile and a nod to acknowledge her reasoning.

"And if I'm not mistaken, then you must be the son of that blood traitor that married that FILTHY MUDBLOOD WHORE! KREACHER, HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THIS HOUSE BY LETTING THIS CHILD OF FILTH INTO...

Chad watched Kreacher's reaction as Walburga ranted and raved like a lunatic, which to be fair, she was. But then again, Chad had yet to meet a woman that wasn't crazy, merely those that hid it better! The poor elf was trapped between his old Mistress and the new Master that promised to give him a weapon. It was time to put this froffing b*tch in her place.

Concentrating on gathering his will, Chad visualised releasing an aura of dominance and then projected it out. Boppy and Dippy immediately kneeled in reverence, while Kreacher's head whipped around to stare at Chad with mouth gaping open, before quickly joining the other elves in paying obeisance to their Master. Walburga Black had gone silent as even as a mere soul imprint that was enchanted into a portrait could feel the power rolling off Chad in waves.

The fact that he was only six years old only added to why Mrs Black was currently gaping like a fish out of water. Chad directed it mostly at her after Kreacher was reminded of who he now served. Seeing the opulent salon that made up the background of Walburga's portrait slowly turning black, as Chad's power ate away at its enchantments, had her shaking with fear. Cutting off his magic after seeing her suitably cowered, Chad then tried again to get a reasonable conversation out of her.

"Now, let's try that again, shall we? You are correct when you guessed that I am the son of James and Lily Potter, and yes, Lily Potter was a 'mudblood'. I also did indeed change my name to something more befitting a dignified wizard than what my parents gave me. But I don't see why that is a reason to be a F*CKING B*TCH!" Chad said in a cold, yet conversational tone before screaming the last two words infused with his power.

Looking at the submissive old lady slumped in her chair instead of the perfect example of a pureblooded Noble from before, he would say she was appropriately made aware of who was in charge.

"Everyone can scream and act like a child, Mrs Black. Frankly, I expected better from someone with your breeding and station. To see what has become of the all-powerful Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, indeed shows how far the wizarding world has fallen." This cutting remark from a child was really kicking the crazy old b*tch while she was down.

"You are free to believe in blood purity and its mistaken belief that 'purebloods' are magically superior to 'half-bloods' or 'mudbloods.' Hell, I even find it funny that some of the purebloods claim that mudbloods are stealing their magic! Wouldn't that suggest that they are actually stronger than purebloods when they can easily take your magic without trying? That makes purebloods sound weak and pathetic, afraid and lashing out at the lowly mudbloods! Are you scared of mudbloods Mrs Black?" Chad asked, his eyes piercing Walburga Black's counterfeit soul.

"N-n-no." She managed to stutter out, her fear of Chad had not diminished even though he was back to speaking in soft tones.

"Good, good. It would not do to have the once Matriarch of a Noble and Most Ancient House afraid of muggle-borns. I mean, the laws are so stacked against them that there is not even a need to outright attack them like that half-blood Voldemort. You are only giving them an excuse to gain more rights, freedom and power. Not a smart move to give the peasants a reason to rebel."

"HALF-BOOD?" Shouted Mrs Black, her discriminatory tendencies finally winning over her fear.

"You weren't aware? Of course, you wouldn't be, there would be no way that someone with you views on blood supremacy would follow and enslave your child to a man with a muggle father!" He answered condescendingly.

"MUGGLE! Wait, what do you mean enslave?" The paintings eyes abruptly filled with horror at the implication that she had sold her sweet Regulus to a half-blood.

With but a thought and a wave of his hand, Chad replicated what Riddle had done in the Chamber of Secrets. Unlike that chump, who had to use a wand to write it, Chad made the words appear with his mind like a boss! 'I am Lord Voldemort' suddenly became visible and then morphed into 'Tom Marvolo Riddle', much to the horror of Mrs Black, Riddle was not a Noble name.

"Did you honestly think the Dark Mark that the Death Eaters displayed with pride, was just a magically induced brand that allowed Riddle to summon his pureblood minions?" Shaking his head, Chad was genuinely surprised at how the purebloods had remained in control when a mind-r.a.p.ed patsy like Voldemort could have them dancing like monkeys. And that didn't even enter the half-blood Dumbledore into the equation. Mrs Black had just had her world rocked, and Chad gave the portrait a cruel smile that promised more emotion torment.

"Do you know what the best part of all of this Mrs Black? Voldemort was nothing but a cat's paw, a patsy, a dupe, a chump, an instrument, a stooge, nothing but a tool for another half-blood! Can you guess who was pulling the strings? The one behind the curtain making all you superior pureblooded Nobles prance around like puppets?" Asked Chad, each new word was spoken with malice and designed to cause the crazy old blood supremacist emotion pain.

By the way the colour drained from the painting's face, and how she fainted in a heap on the floor of her portrait, it seems that even though she was insane, Mrs Black was not stupid and had made the connection to Dumbledore.

Chad hated being disrespected, especially now that he had reality-warping abilities. His magical prowess had only inflated his already massive ego, and the old adage of power corrupting was undoubtedly applicable here. When Mrs Black had ranted at him about his 'mother' being a mudblood and by extension making Chad filth, the actual insult did not bother him. But he hated that she had treated him with contempt. That a f*cking painting of an old, i.n.c.e.s.tual tramp, who ruined her own family with her stupidity, actually looked down on HIM!

Chad didn't have to be so cruel with his verbal thrashing of everything Walburga Black held dear. However, that bitch had disrespected him, and Chad was petty enough to emotionally butcher her for his own amus.e.m.e.nt and give the knife an extra twist!