Dark Lord Dumbledore

With a pop, Kreacher returned holding a locket with so much gold and bling, that a rapper would give his left nut to own it. Chad had long prepared to absorb the Horcruxes and had studied all the curses on them from Riddle's memories. With an almost negligent wave, the curse that had been trying (and failing) to influence his mind disappeared. With a nod to Boppy to protect him while he prepared to absorb Voldemort's soul piece, he began. Just like the ring, he broke the locket's anchor and then used his magic to pull the ghastly face that appeared into his mindscape.

When he was experimenting with thugs A through T, he had noticed the mental pressure of just holding a full muggle soul and had not tried to absorb any because of it. Chad had seen the cost of disrupting the anchor of a soul to its body and was not about to consume a full muggle soul with unknown side effects, it wasn't even magical! There was a genuine chance that he might turn himself into a squib, destroy his own soul anchor or explode his body like the unfortunate experimental thugs when he overwhelmed their bodies with his magic.

Chad planned to tread very carefully where his own soul was concerned, he was still a bit leery after playing with the twenty gangsters' souls and seeing the consequences. He had waited three months before he ate the second piece of Voldemort's soul, giving his body and soul time to adjust instead of overwhelming it with a foreign new power. But just like the first, all it did was strengthen his mental strength and soul. Since two little 'formatted' pieces of broken soul had only empowered his own willpower and made magic even more accessible with no side effects, Chad would once again take a bite of tasty wizard soul! If there was any discomfort or soul 'leakage' from absorbing too much, then he would stop at once and take emergency measures that he was unwilling to try unless in a life-threatening situation.

Appearing on the outskirts of the post-apocalyptic town that was his mindscape, he was once again confronted with Riddle's shade. Since the first soul piece he absorbed was the latest and most knowledgeable of the Horcruxes, there was no need for its memories, only its power. Chad had already taunted one shade with its failure, this time he decided to switch things up for sh*ts and giggles.

"At last, I have found you, my Lord!" Chad said kneeling down on one knee and internally laughing at Riddle's smug smile at his submission. "For five hundred years we've been searching for you, God of muggles and saviour of those without the vile taint of magic!

The evil God Dumbledore and his magically corrupted mudblood followers have tried to enslave us, the only real humans, not that demonic trash in human form! I have volunteered to undergo a ritual that sacrificed ten mudblood sc.u.m to gain their taint so you could use my body and finish what you started all those years ago, the death and destruction of all things magical!" Chad shouted passionately, entirely playing the part of a fanatic.

Looking at Voldemort's 'Dafuq' face, it seems his random speech announcing him as the champion of muggles had disturbed him completely. Chad didn't even know a mental representation could fade with just verbal attacks, as Riddle's shade had lost a significant amount substance from his ethereal form! Voldemort was looking physically sick at the news of being revered as the saviour of muggles and the destroyer of all things magical, a mean feat considering he was incorporeal. Standing up, Chad dealt the finishing blow.

"Come, my Lord, take my body. From the ancient texts left behind by your muggle knights, the Death Eaters, we have prepared ten innocent and pure v.i.r.g.i.nal muggle boys for you to recharge your holy power!"

Riddle became even less tangible at the thought of his precious Knights of Walpurgis being muggle and that the world though he needs young boys to recharge his magic. The little bit of his resolution left shattered like glass.

'Interesting, without strong conviction and determination, the mental representation of the soul lost most of its power. It's obvious now that I think of it, a weak will is much easier to crush than a strong one. A phycological blow is just as deadly as attacking his shade with mentally created guardians.' Chad thought to himself, mind magic was so versatile!

After that reflection, Chad didn't even bother using some of his new defences. Looking at the defeated expression on the egomaniac Voldemort that had just been earnestly told all his aspirations had been twisted into the very thing he despised, he exercised his will. With a 'pop' another Voldemort holodisk fell to the ground.

"How disappointing," Chad said to the now empty mindscape, besides his mindscape guardians of course. He wanted a challenge to see how his new synthetic humanoids would perform after being hit with a killing curse. Teleporting to his quarantined computer to format the new holodisk of all its tainted emotion and memories, he was suddenly struck by a revelation about the 'Light' sides argument of Dark magic being addictive and turning you 'Dark'. Curses that needed to be powered by negative thoughts and emotion would (after frequent and unrestricted use) align your will to negative emotions!

But this would only happen if you were a weak-willed retard that had no mental discipline and relied entirely on a wand... Holy schizophrenia Batman! That just described 98% of magicals! Even the very few that practised Occlumency only used it to defend their mind and put up a 'cold mask', not master their emotions with it! Could it be that simple? Voldemort was an exception because there was a genuine possibility that he was mind-r.a.p.ed by Dumbledore, and then he tore his soul into five pieces! He was doomed from the start, but even then he still had more willpower than most. After handicapping himself, he was still able to use basic wandless magic, a feat thought impossible by the majority of wizardkind. Chad will have to keep an eye on his new wizard minions if they start using Dark magic.

Inserting the holodisk into the old Vault-Tec computer, Chad wiped the soul-disk clean and then ejected it out. Another flex of his will and it became an easily swallowable pill-shaped soul. Just like the two times before he ate a piece of soul, Chad immediately felt the effects. The physical representation of his willpower glowed with golden light, and he became flush with POWAH! Chad completely understood He-Man's need to shout it out every time. Unlike the other two times, he felt the beginnings of mental pressure over the surge of energy flowing into him.

It was not very noticeable, and he would have completely missed it if he was not scanning himself for any conflicting issues. Maybe it also happened before, and he just missed it because he was experiencing a power high. Leaving his mindscape, he was greeted by an anxious Kreacher even though only seconds had passed while he had been trolling and then consuming Voldemort's soul. Utilising his magic to scan the now soul free locket, it came back clear of any spell or enchantment. Just a very ostentatious piece of jewellery of a famous wizard, Chad at least expected it to hold some unique magic like Helga's cup.

Since it had no value other than a collector's item, Chad gave it to Kreacher to gain loyalty points. When the little wrinkly ballsack looking elf took the locket in his trembling miniature hands and had tears leaking out his squinty, calculating eyes, Chad knew he had won the vicious dark elf over.

"Congratulations Kreacher, your Master's final order has been fulfilled."

Chad waited while the little bugger dealt with his emotions that had been eating away at his psyche for the last five years. After a few minutes, the old elf straightened himself as much as his hunched back allowed, wiped his eyes, reached out to grab Chad's hand and completed the elf bond. This was better than he had expected, he thought that the standoffish house-elf raised on dark magic would only let him use the Black library in payment. Hell, Chad even suspected the cunning midget might leg it after he had seen the locket destroyed.

In the books, Chad found Kreacher way more entertaining than Dobby and his near-fatal protection. The little creepy little racist firing off slurs at Hermione as she fought for his elf rights was absolutely hilarious. But just like the other two scenarios, Chad had a plan for this one.

"Since Boppy is my head-elf of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Peverell, I'm going to need a head-elf for when I inherit the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. What do you think, Kreacher?"

The wrinkly skin on his face was flapping around as he shook his head rapidly in the affirmative. "Yes, Master! I will serve you faithfully until I die!"

"Excellent, having such a clever head-elf overseeing House Black would put me at ease. Since you are now my head-elf, you will need house-elves to order around; otherwise, you are just a house-elf! But that can be arranged later." Explained Chad.

Seeing the old house-elf absorbing what he had just been told but still nodding his head in agreement, he continued on, "Now, I know as a loyal elf of House Black you do things differently, and that's ok, but now you represent me. See Boppy here? That's his uniform as head-elf, he wears that while he serves me. But when he is off duty, he is free to wear whatever he likes. For example, what you are wearing now is you off duty attire, but when you are representing House Black, you will be in your uniform."

This took a bit more time before the old elf finally nodded his head in acceptance at the foreign concept of a uniform. House-elves are so intensely loyal to their masters that they will not allow themselves to be set free unless their Master presents them with clothes. To symbolise this, they usually wear makeshift clothes made with found objects such as pillowcases and rags.

These clothes can become quite filthy, and yet the house-elf will not clean their clothes to express further that they have no needs which are not explicitly commanded to them by the Master. Chad found the idea of being surrounded by dirty beggar-like elves distasteful, especially when they were preparing his food! It was now time for an incentive and to galvanise Kreacher's loyalty to his new Master.

"Now, as you can see, Boppy has a cane as a symbol of his loyalty and status. Dippy!" With a pop, a fully clad ninja elf appeared kneeling in front of Chad.

"Show, Kreacher your blade please."

The little ninja stood and faced Kreacher while he silently drew his elf-sized sword. Kreacher's now wide-open eyes were shimmering with barely controlled d.e.s.i.r.e. Dippy resheathed his bade and then stalked over to stand beside Boppy.

"Chefs have an enchanted knife, miners an enchanted pickaxe and gardeners an enchanted spade. Since Boppy is head-elf of House Peverell, he needed a symbol fitting of his station. You are the head-elf of House Black, what do you want for you symbol?"