Hessian Does A Thing

LAST TIME ON LAZY WRITING CHRONICLES

Septem:

"Master please stop s.e.x.u.a.lly harrassing the emperor" Mash asked her master who was currently fondling the emperor of roses out in the open

"Umu! Worry not! It is only natural that he must boldly admire my boundless beauty up close!" the red saber declared as she proudly puffed up her c.h.e.s.t

"I'm worried because the guards don't look like they appreciate it" the demi-servant deadpanned as the palpable killing intent from the guards filled the area.

Hessian continued to ignore it all in favor of feeling up the emperor of roses.

"I regret nothing" he said as the guards readied their weapons.

Okeanos:

Hessian stood across the deck from Black Beard as their faces were darkened. The atmosphere was tense as both sides waited for the other to make the first move. Their ship cannons were pointed at each other as Black Beard's crew was consisted of his men along with two female pirates of different sizes and a man with a spear.

Francis Drake was ready to signal her crew to start firing while Mash prepared to deploy her noble phantasm. Then the two men moved at the same time with heavy steps. They met in the middle, face to face. Then as if choreographed they both raised their right arms and gripped the other's hand in a sign of manliness.

"I see you're a man of culture." Hessian spoke as he glanced at the yuri pirates Anne and Mary

"Mmm, it's a p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e to meet a fellow brother" Edward Teach replied as he glanced at Euryale and the other females

an understanding was formed between these two men of culture

London:

"Senpai no."

"SENPAI YES!"

"Master..." the demi-servant sighed "You can't keep her" she said

"It's too late Mash, I am now a parent!" Hessian declared as the young magician played with Jack affectionately

[Master I believe you would have to re-summon her since she's connected to this singularity] Onyx informed

"FBI YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" the interdimensional FBI appeared

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Hessian cried out as hundreds of book and scattered pages twisted around him ready to defend his newly claimed loli

E Pluribus Unum:

Within a world of scattered cheese, A familiar hero of justice wannabe stood tall in a giant round cheese costume. Standing on the other side of the land was petite girl with a tiara in white revealing much of her pale skin. Although she seemed to be paler than usual as she looked around the world of cheese.

"If one wheel of cheese isn't enough, then I'm sure one of these will defeat you!" the cheese hero spoke as each piece of cheese of the world seemed to vibrate at his words.

"You... YOUU I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!!" She screeched at the man when she realized what he was planning to do

"Let's go Queen of Connacht." He opened his eyes and stared determinedly at her "I hope you have room for seconds!" Then it rained cheddar

Camelott:

It was night in the mountain village as the young magician took a walk have a look at the terrain.

Hessian felt an incredible chill come up his spine as he turned his head to look at where he felt the untraceable heated gaze. To his annoyance he failed to find anything as he had been feeling that same gaze for the past few days.

"Onyx, did you see anything?" Hessian asked

[My readings display nothing in a hundred meter radius] Onyx replied

"Man these chills have been bothering me for awhile." he muttered as he continued his walk

Half a mile away, a poisonous purple haired Hassan could be seen staring intensely at the wandering magician.

"You know, you could just talk to him" an older lanky Hassan said from the side while another female Hassan nodded her head from the side.

Hessian finally experienced what it was like to gain a hidden stalker

∞

"Oi, Mash."

"Yes?"

"Am I getting old?"

"I don't think you are. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I guess it has to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by children"

Within a rectangular room, a familiar magician was seated on a bean bag with a controller. This would be the usual for him, however surrounding him were 3 little kids taking up space around him as he focused on the screen.

"Mommy is it fun?"

"This looks violent."

"I want more snacks."

The kids were Jack, Nursery Rhyme and Jeanne D'arc Alter Santa Lily. Hessian ended up having to look after them when Boudica was called to the kitchen by a certain counter guardian.

"If it's any consolation Master, I believe they like spending time with you." Tomoe Gozen commented from the other bean bag as she had her own controller as the two were playing co op.

It had been a few months since Hessian and Mash had met up with Doctor Roman and Da Vinci. Supposedly the multiple explosions killed everyone except them and 2 other staff that were still injured. The reason they were unable to make contact was due to the amount of damages done to the base. Without the proper material and manpower, even the great genius wasn't able to get everything running in time until they showed up.

The base was mostly cleaned up and ran by servants that Hessian summoned such as Edison and Nikola Tesla for power. Emiya, Boudica, Tamacat and a few more servants for cooking and cleaning. Leonidas and Romulus ran the gym etc.

"What about Atalanta and Raikou? Normally they love watching the kids."

"Atalanta-san went hunting for a boar and I believe Raikou-san is fighting Shuten-douji after an argument." The demi-servant replied

"Does Mother not like us?" Jack asked as the three of them stared at the magician causing him to feel awkward

"No no, I love you guys. It's just I'm not FUUUuu..... used to spending time with people more than five years younger than me." Hessian nearly cursed but stopped himself from doing it infront of them

Normally he would rage and curse whenever he games but he'd get an earful from the motherly servants about being a bad example for the kids.

"You know what, let's go to the beach." he declared

"Yayy!"

"What's the beach like?"

"It's next to the sea!"

"Oh, Master is headed to the beach?" Hessian turned to see a bunch of other servants with their heads popped through the door

"Guess were all going then" he said as he got ready to rayshift

∞

"THIS WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED!" Mash cried out as she blocked a laser beam from the flying sand pyramid

"GOOD WORK MASH! NOW WE JUST NEED TO ADD ROCKETS!" her master yelled as he was carrying giant rocket thrusters around

"KUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU MONGRELS SHOULD REJOICE FOR YOU GET THE CHANCE TO WITNESS THE MIGHT OF 360 SAND DINGIRS!" a familiar golden king yelled as the sand cannons on the walls of his gigantic sand castle began firing lasers indiscriminitely at other servants in the area.

It was originally supposed to be a sand castle building contest. However it somehow got heated to the point where it became a battle royale until the last castle standing.

"THE WALLS OF CAMELOTT WILL STAND AGAINST ALL INVADERS!" Hessian glanced over at the sight of multiple saberfaces standing on top of pristine white walls

"OHHHHHHH!!!" the battle cry of all the servants related to the Britannian rulers echoed across the battlefield

"HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT OUT OF SAND!?" Lancer cried out as he took the full brunt of a golden laser.

"LANCER GA SHINDA!!"

"KONO HITO DE NASHI!"

"Master, the japanese servants seemed to have created some sort of eastern castle" Mash informed

"No worries, because I've finished" Hessian called out as he marveled at his finished product "IT'S OVER! FOR YOU FACE THE ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL BOMB! MUWAHAHAHAHA!"

The young magician laughed maniacally as his small base blinded the servants as it began to glow resplendently.

"WHAT SORCERY IS THAT!?"

"Shinnyyy"

"Oi that doesn't look stable"

The base may be small in size compared to all the other servant's castle, but it was a giant bomb of incredibly compact spiritual energy.

"IF I CANNOT WIN, THEN NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!" Hessian roared as the light disappeared for a moment only to reappear in a large flash.

At the end of the day, the entire beach was destroyed and many servants had to be re-summoned.