Him And Her - An Odd Story

HIM – PERFECT AND GOOD

Night had gently swallowed the world, as the warm temperatures of the Summer guaranteed that windows were laid open. Deep within the night, from one of those windows, light still shone timidly and a pair of voices could be heard overlapping one another in an apparent race to get out as many words as possible within as little time as possible.

"I put down the f.u.c.k.i.n.g tree, what the hell are you talking about?!!" Tyson exclaimed as he pointed at his monitor. "It literally blocked Ezmo's RMB which would have f.u.c.k.i.n.g killed you!!"

"You could have Gusted it instead, and saved the tree so it can f.u.c.k.i.n.g heal me, you moron!!" Aya exclaimed right back, one of the straps of her tank-top hanging sideways.

"IT WAS ON COOLDOWN, YOU BLOODY LUNATIC!!" Tyson shouted, his voice suddenly attaining a British accent.

"… THEN TELL ME IT IS, YOU BASKET CASE!!" Aya shouted right back.

"… our monitors are literally ten centimeters apart. One glance – one freaking glance – and you would have seen it! That's literally the reason why I keep my HUD size at max! I constantly glance at your shitty ant-sized HUD to see your cooldowns because I get that it's hard to communicate every one of your cooldowns as they come and go!"

"… oh, wow, that's beautiful dear! Do you want me to blow you as a reward?"

"That would be very nice, but I know you're just screwing with me, so f.u.c.k you instead!"

"… ugh, goddammit," Aya grunted, sighing, as she leaned back into her chair. "Maybe we should just go back to playing Farmville. We never fought back then."

"… twenty minutes in, both of us looked like zombies. I'd rather not see you in that state ever again. I love you and all, but there are boundaries, dear."

"… you see me without make-up every morning," Aya said. "You should be used to my zombie features by now."

"What are you talking about?" Tyson said, glancing at her. "The only zombie feature of yours in the morning is that godawful breath. Rest? Well, let's just say I'm not getting morning boners merely due to biology anymore."

"… really?" Aya mumbled, smiling lightly. "That's sweet."

"I'm all sugar baby." Tyson said, smirking.

"… aaaand you ruined it."

"I tend to do that, don't I?" Tyson asked.

"It's fine. I forgive you. I mean, you suck at LoL, DotA, OW, WoW, and now even BR. My bosoms should be your safe space."

"Oh, oh, you did not just say I suck at BR!" Tyson said, suddenly jumping out of his chair and pointing a finger at Aya. "You were stuck in f.u.c.k.i.n.g Plat 'till I came along and taught you how to play!! Don't you dare give me shit over this one!"

"… I don't know why, but right now I just feel like tearing your clothes open and screwing you 'till we're both zombies." Aya said, biting her lower lip.

"I think we both need a shower first," Tyson said. "We haven't had one since Friday."

"… wait. Isn't it still Friday?" Aya asked, arching her brow. Oh, my beautiful, delusional flower…

"Well, in about two hours, it will officially be Monday morning. So, no, I don't think it's still Friday." Tyson said.

"… wait, wait, wait, wait, weren't we supposed to meet Emma and Jared on Monday to go to that f.u.c.k.i.n.g beach or whatever?!" Aya exclaimed as she jumped out of her chair.

"Yup."

"And you're telling me this four f.u.c.k.i.n.g hours before we're supposed to meet them?"

"Two. Two hours."

"MAKE IT FOUR!!"

"… how did no one call cops on us these past three days?" Tyson mumbled as he watched Aya race out of the bedroom and toward the bathroom, stripping wholly n.a.k.e.d in the process. "Right, delay. Well, Jared's probably awake. He always gets excited like a kid before a vacation."

After some tumbling through the bedroom, Tyson finally found his phone in one of Aya's bras, immediately calling Jared. After a few seconds, excited voice answered the other side of the line.

"Yo, Ty! What's up man? You ready?!" Jared's voice resonated into Tyson's tired ear.

"… ugh, tone it down Janice." Tyson said, sighing. "Can we meet up in four hours from now instead?"

"Eh? Why?" Well, Aya would kill me if I said it's because of her…so, uh…

"… I'm, uh, I'm… I don't know man, I just think four hours from now is the truly lucky hour." What the f.u.c.k am I talking about?!

"Oh! Sure thing then!" Jared said. "Always trust your gut feeling!" … aah, thank you Jared for being you.

"Thanks man. I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see ya' guys. I'm so excited about this!"

"You don't say…" Tyson mumbled as the line was cut. He put the phone down and sighed as he wiped his eyes, finally feeling tiredness catching up to him. "Let's see… in total I slept… uh, six hours in the past three days? Good god. Thank the shit Jared's driving."

"Did you call them?!" Aya's shout startled him slightly.

"Yeah, it's cool. Take your time sweetie."

"Wanna join me in for a quickie?" Aya asked.

"… I'm barely awake enough to move my lips, and you expect me to have shower-s.e.x?" Tyson said.

"… yeah, good point. I'll be right out."

"… shit, I can't believe we've been together for almost five months now," Tyson mumbled, smiling weakly as he lied onto the bed. "How didn't I screw it up by now?"

"Because I'm a very forgiving person." glancing sideways, he saw stark n.a.k.e.d Aya leaning against the doorframe which lacked the doors, drying her hair with a towel.

"God, that's so hot. Why the hell am I so tired?!" Tyson mumbled.

"And because you say shit like that almost every day," Aya said, chuckling. "I'm done. Shower's all yours."

"Ugh, gimme a sec…" Tyson grunted as he sat back up, yawning.

"Better question is how I didn't screw it up." Aya said as he walked over to the closet and took out some u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r. "I mean, you're probably traumatized of playing games by now."

"… nah," Tyson said, chuckling. "I mean, yeah, it's not every day you hear a girl screaming in your ear "HOW CAN A GUY BE BETTER AT S.E.X THAN PLAYING A F.U.C.KIN GAME?!!", but, you know, I don't mind it. Your a.s.s is way too fine."

"I thought you preferred my, uh, how'd you put it…"

"-triple S boobies?" Tyson finished.

"Oh, right! Perfectly Sized, Shaped and Suckly. Ha ha… damn, that last one always gets me." Aya said, putting on a one-piece white dress.

"But, seriously, how are you so great?" Tyson said as he got up and hugged her from behind, gently kissing her neck.

"I ask myself that every day." Aya said, smiling. "God, you stink. Go take a freaking shower dude."

"Wait, wait, I'm marking you."

"Shouldn't you be pissing on me then instead?" Aya said. "Wait, no. We're not doing a golden shower."

"… when did I ever ask for a golden shower?" Tyson mumbled.

"Well, you didn't. I'm just, you know, taking all things into consideration."

"I do have a lot of fetishes."

"Oh, yeah, that you do." Aya said, chuckling lightly. "Seriously, go now. We're gonna be late."

"Ugh, we won't be late," Tyson said as he reluctantly headed over toward the bathroom. "Why did you even dress? We could have slept for like two more hours instead."

"We can sleep in the car." Aya said.

"… but, we could have slept both in bed and in the car. Wouldn't that have been one awesome story?" Tyson said entering the bathroom. Aya had already prepared everything for him, causing a faint smile to escape his lips.

"We didn't go shopping these past three days either, did we?" Aya shouted from the kitchen while Tyson assumed she was looking in the fridge.

"Nope."

"Is there anything to even eat here?!"

"I think we have some cereal up in the cupboard," Tyson said. "That is, you know, if you can eat cereal with water or raw."

"… maybe I should eat it with your tears after I beat your balls blue."

"That's fine, I'd rather you don't."

"Uh… let's see… that gas-station with that weird clerk is open now," Aya said. "I'm gonna go out and grab us something to eat. You want anything?"

"Surprise me."

"Do you really want that?"

"You're right, sorry," Tyson said. "Uh, I don't know, grab me Seven Days or something."

"Okay. Be right back!"

Shortly after Aya left, Tyson finished with showering and walked back into the bedroom and dressed up. Immediately next to the bed was a nightstand with only a single picture on it; it was a framed photo of when the two of them went up the mountains for a hike a month ago. Aya's face was slightly closer, her arm wrapped around Tyson's neck, while his face was defined by huge black circles underneath his eyes. She didn't let him sleep for nearly two days, and agreed even less on letting him at least Photoshop the picture before framing it. Looking at it, he chuckled and shook his head lightly.

He got up and walked over to the window, letting the slightly chilly wind of the night brush against his cheeks as he took in a deep breath, looking up at the fading moon in the sky.

"… funny how she's everything I never asked for," he mumbled lightly into the disappearing night. "But everything I apparently needed. Even funnier how I'd rather gaze at her than at the stars. God," Tyson grunted, lowering his head in embarrassment. "I'd kill myself if she heard that."

"Too bad," a gentle, warm voice startled him as he jolted his head backward and saw Aya standing a few meters away. "I'd rather you didn't."

"W-why are you here?!" Tyson exclaimed. "Weren't you supposed to be buying us breakfast?!"

"I forgot my wallet." Aya said simply as she walked over. "So, I'm prettier than stars, huh?"

"… I never said that." Tyson sighed in defeat, turning back around and looking out the window. "You can go now."

"… so, last week," Aya said as she walked up next to him and leaned onto the window frame, mimicking his pose. "I finally got around to reading East of Eden, and I came across this line, 'And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good'. And I thought about it for a while," Tyson slowly glanced sideways as their eyes met, faces gently illuminated by the fading moon. "And realized I've never shown you anything but my terrible sides." she said, chuckling lightly. "The brash side, the loudmouth side, the profane side, the insecure side… all the things I hid from everyone else were the only things I ever showed you. And I realized I was neither perfect nor good," she continued, faint smile escaping her lips. "And I promised myself I'd be better to you. A promise which, by the way, I broke like twenty minutes later when you drank the milk from the carton."

"I totally deserved that." Tyson interjected as the two laughed for a moment.

"… and now I'm hearing you say I'm more beautiful than the stars—"

"I never said that!"

"—right, of course you didn't. That would be way too corny."

"… why do you think I fell in love with you?" Tyson suddenly asked, surprising Aya slightly.

"I thought 'why you fell in love with someone' is always a rhetorical question. It just sort of happens, no?" Aya said.

"Yeah, sometimes," Tyson said. "But for me it was very clear."

"Why, then?"

"Well, part of the reason were obviously the three S boobies."

"Obviously." Aya said as the two laughed for a moment.

"But, most of the reason was all those things you listed," Tyson said, smiling warmly at her. "You are, indeed, neither perfect nor good," he said. "But, you never bothered pretending you are either. You showed me all of you fearlessly, all the while smiling through pains and aches. And I realized that I'd rather have you soil my pure soul with your filthy tongue than have any other woman purify it."

"That filthy tongue thing was uncalled for!" Aya exclaimed.

"Ah, come on!! I've never in my life met another woman – hell, you're a rarity even among guys – who curses and says as many vulgar things as you do!!"

"Well… you know… I just, uh, like being expressive…" Aya said, sighing immediately afterwards and burying her face into her arms. "Ugh, I'm a failure of a human being…"

"No," Tyson said, extending her arm and pulling hers away from her face. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I'd be an idiot to f.u.c.k that up because of a few f.u.c.ks and shits you occasionally slip out."

"… how is it that you always know exactly the right thing to say?" Aya said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him. "It's unfair."

"It merely makes the two of us." Tyson said.

"Oh? So I know exactly the right thing to say as well? That's news to me."

"… although you don't always know the exactly right thing to do." Tyson said, smirking lightly. "I really am hungry, you know?"

"… oh f.u.c.k you." Aya said, laughing.

"There it is!"

"Oh f.u.c.k you again! Hear that? F.u.c.k you, f.u.c.k you, f.u.c.k you, f.u.c.k you times infinity!" Aya said as she kissed him lightly and grabbed a wallet from the nightstand. "Be right back! Love you!"

"… love you too. Stay safe!"

"That's why I'm on the pill baby!"

"… oh for the love of…" Tyson shook his head lightly as Aya's laughter resonated throughout the apartment while she left. Tyson glanced over at the door and smiled as he sat back onto the bed. You are both perfect and good, you idiot...