Chapter 6 – Then You Leave

Fu An could only see the side of his face, see his eyelashes curve into a little arc and the corners of his mouth faintly tip up into a truly delighted, amused appearance.

It was probably because those words had touched a soft spot in his heart. 

Fu An’s chest tightened, and he lowered his head after only a glance, staring at his own knuckles.

His fingers were slender and fair, with distinct knuckles. When holding a scalpel, the contours of his bones were clearly defined, revealing underlying strength. It would make the little nurses blush and whisper, make people who liked hands feel like they’d met their love, and squeal wildly.

But it was precisely these two hands which had saved many people from the brink of death, that were unable to save his own love–– he couldn’t even figure out what Qi Qianze was thinking now.

“Qi Qianze……” Fu An softly sighed, biting the corner of his lip, as if he had something to say.

“The phone,” Qi Qianze interrupted him, and pointed at his right pocket again, “You still haven’t sent the message.”

“……” Fu An was full of things to say, but Qi Qianze seemed unwilling to listen. At the moment, his priority was letting his long-unmet classmates at the reunion know where he was going.

Fu An hesitated for a few seconds, but there was nothing else that could be done. He had to do as Qi Qianze said and get the phone. 

His fingers were about to reach across, his body slightly tilting, when the seatbelt across his body conveniently tightened, so it seemed like he was really exerting himself.

When Qi Qianze was still in school, Fu An had taught him what he should wear to all sorts of events. There were template outfits for different occasions. This habit had been maintained throughout their years of separation. This time, when he came to the class reunion, he wore a white shirt with a design on the chest, and a relatively casual dark grey suit. It was between formal and informal, neither serious nor casual, just fitting for this kind of gathering.

Fu An’s fingertips touched warm cloth, probably silk. It was very slick, so it was easy for him to reach in, and he put in most of his hand. The back of his hand slightly touched the suit pocket, feeling the comfortable texture, along with a bit of his own skin’s temperature.

The pocket was very shallow, Fu An gently turned his palm, it was empty. He didn’t find anything.

“The phone?”

“Oh, I remembered wrong.” At an intersection, Qi Qianze flicked on the turn signal and turned, his voice even, “It’s in the other pocket.”

Fu An: “……”

The road after the turn was also so congested that the cars on it had completely stopped. Fu An said: “You get it yourself. Since we’re not moving, now’s a good time to get it.”

“Now they watch cars strictly. If you’re not careful, they’ll dock points1,” Qi Qianze pointed at an unseen intersection in the distance. “There are traffic police over there. Whoever they catch, they punish. They stand guard at this time every day.”

This was the route Qi Qianze took to get home. Fu An didn’t take it every day, so of course he wasn’t as familiar with it as Qi Qianze was.

“Nobody’s looking now, it doesn’t matter if you send a message.”

“No.” Qi Qianze refused.

“Alright, then take the phone out and give it to me,” Fu An relented, “I’ll send it for you.”

“Can’t, no touching phones while driving.”

Fu An: “…Not even to pass it over?” 

Qi Qianze: “No.”

In an even, impassive voice, he said: “I never touch my phone while in the car.”

He lied without even blinking. 

Fu An: “What counts as ‘touching’?”

Qi Qianze: “What the word means.”

So it turned out that Qi Qianze was so principled, that his definition of “touching” was literally what the word meant?

Fu An seemed to have seen through his intentions, and snorted: “Are you asking me to go around you to get it?”

Qi Qianze didn’t reply, but this was clearly his intention.

If this was Qi Qianze many years ago, Fu An might have actually believed him. After all, ever since he was a child, Qi Qianze had had a very strong sense of principles. Whatever he set his mind on, he would always hold to, never crossing the line. In the eyes of adults, he was obedient and mature, but to other children his age, he was extremely rigid and boring, which was the very reason why it was difficult for them to play with him.

But right now, Fu An felt more like Qi Qianze was doing it on purpose.

“I can’t reach it,” Fu An turned his eyes away and looked out the car window, where the sky had already completely darkened. The console was reflected in the window, and Fu An’s finger subconsciously traced the English phrase that was on it, “Keep seatbelts fastened while driving”2.

The corners of his mouth casually tilted up, and he said to Qi Qianze: “You might as well send it after getting out of the car.”

The cars in front began moving. Qi Qianze followed along, but they hadn’t moved 10 meters before they stopped again. He twisted his body, revealing the pocket on his other side, and said to Fu An: “Take it then.”

Fu An didn’t move, and Qi Qianze also didn’t twist back, neither of them budging. Shortly afterwards, they both felt a bit like the cars in front had begun moving again, but Qi Qianze remained, unmoving, in that position.

Fu An finally reached across and fished the phone out. His elbow lightly brushed Qi Qianze’s chest. Fu An’s hand trembled very slightly. Pretending that it was because he’d felt the phone, he took his hand back without a change in his expression.

“What should I send?”

Qi Qianze drove onwards, and was just about to say “What you just said is fine.” But who’d have realized that when he glanced at Fu An out of the corner of his eye, Fu An had already put the phone near his face, pressed the bottom of the screen, and begun speaking. 

Qi Qianze could only simply say that he wasn’t feeling well, and was going to the hospital to take a look.

Fu An sent the voice message, leaned back in the seat, and said: “Was this what you wanted me to see?”

He turned off the phone, which made a locking sound. Then, he pressed with his finger and the phone unlocked itself–– Qi Qianze had never deleted his fingerprint, keeping it saved all this time.

“Not that,” Qi Qianze prompted, “The pinned messages.”

Fu An opened the messages. Sure enough, there really was one pinned message log, from himself. 

“You……”

Qi Qianze: “Won’t you open it and take a look?”

There was actually no need to open it, Fu An knew what had been sent. He himself would look at it every day, but he had never responded. 

The last message had been sent two months ago, just after Fu An’s birthday.

Qi Qianze ruthlessly interrupted his silence: “You never responded once.”

Respond with what?

Respond with why he left, why he wanted to break up?

Fu An turned the phone off, put it to the side and didn’t look at it anymore. He said: “There wasn’t anything to say.”

“Really?” As if unwittingly Qi Qianze said, “Fu An, did you not want to see me?”

Fu An said “Yes”.

“Alright.”

Qi Qianze nodded, and they didn’t speak for the next twenty minutes. He drove forwards slowly, turning onto a side road after passing the main street, and finally stopped the car at the side of the road.

His voice was very indifferent and affectionless, expression also not betraying happiness or sadness.

He said: “Then you leave.”

In China, there’s a penalty points system where people start out with 12 points. Traffic violations cause deductions, and if the deductions are too much then the driver’s license is suspended.

This was not in English in the raws