I Shall Be Happy

(MC's POV)

Oh... the guy is now looking at Armin. I can feel trouble coming at him.

"Hey you, little blonde pr*ck. What's your name."

"Armin Alert, from Shiganshina, SIR!"

"Well, Armin. Why did you come here?"

"To join the Survey Corps and contribute to humanity's success, SIR!"

"Well, well, well, Armin. That's good ambition there. BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WHY YOU CAME HERE TO FLIRT WITH GIRLS? HUH?"

"I-I..."

"Cat got your tongue huh?"

HAHAHAHAHA. That's what you get for showing off and flirting with girls.

Man... I feel bad for these people,

"Who the hell are you."

"Thomas Wagner from Trost, Sir."

"You're a mute or what? I can't fking hear you. SPEAK LOUDER!"

"Thomas Wager! SIR!"

"WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK HOME AND PRACTICE HOW TO SPEAK?"

Oh... That was sad. I wonder who's next.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

"Mina Carolina, from Trost, Sir!"

"WRONG! YOU WERE BORN FROM THE DUMPSTER, INFERIOR TO A FKING SWINE!"

"YES, SIR! I'm inferior to a swine!"

"NO! You are what I told you and what you aren't! You don't deserve to even say your what you are!"

This instructor... Boi. He's ruthless to even to girls. If there was a cursing contest, I'm sure this motherchucker would win 100%. He skipped quite a lot of people though, the really interesting and the boring ones.

Oh... now here's a nice scene.

"Who the hell are you, horse face!"

And the next victim is here. The instructor is right. The guy's face is quite long. Just like a horse.

"I'm Jean Kirstein from Trost, sir!"

"How about you elaborate on why you're here?"

"To join the Military Police Brigade and reside in the Inner District, sir."

"Hoh. So you wanna live in the Inner District..."

"Yes."

BAM!

OOF! He got headbutted by the instructor. Nice one, instructor.

And I gave him a thumb up from afar, hopefully, he didn't see me.

"Why are you on the ground? If you can't even handle that... Why should you be in the Military Police Brigade?"

And after a few cannon fodders, there was another interesting guy.

"Next! YOU! Who the hell are you?"

And instead of saluting with his right hand to the heart, this guy did the opposite and used his left hand to his lung.

"I'm Connie Springer from Ragako, in Wall Rose's Southern District, Sir!"

"Hey, shorty... Listen up here Connie Springer. This was one of the first things you were taught. That salute means you're offering your heart to the king. IS YOUR FKING HEART ON YOUR RIGHT, YOU LITTLE SH*THEAD!"

And then the sadist held up Connie's head with just his hands

That was brutal af. Boi... this is sad. But why the hell are you drooling, Connie?

Chomp*

And silence ensued

"HOLY F.U.C.K.I.N.G MOLY!" I couldn't help but yelled, becoming the first one to break the silence.

Who the hell is so brave to eat in the middle of the boot camp?

The instructor turned to look at me for a brief moment. I can see the hostility in his eyes.

Shit. I'm next...

Chomp*

???????????????????????????????????

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL EATING!

"HOLY F.U.C.K!" I couldn't help but yelled again, drawing everyone's attention to me again.

Oof.

"My bad. Don't mind me."

"No, no, no. Why don't we all have a chat over here."

"Ok."

I begrudgingly walked slowly toward the instructor's location and the girl in question.

"Tell me both of your names."

"Athanatos Ackermann. From Shiganshina! Sir!"

Chomp*

Silence ensued once again.

Me: "..."

The instructor: "..."

Everyone else: "..."

Chomp*

"Hey... hey... hey... yes you. WHO THE F.U.C.K ARE YOU?"

How? I am dying. Someone plz send help. This scene is way too funny to exist. How is possible that something like this can occur. I mean SOMEONE IS EATING A POTATO, ON THE FIRST FKING DAY! It's not my fault that I'm laughing. It's everyone's fault for having any humor in them. Yup.

Gulp*

"I'm Sasha Blouse from Dauper, in Wall Rose's Southern District, SIR!"

"Sasha... Sasha Blouse... I see... What are you holding in your hand?"

"A steamed potato, sir! It was there in the kitchen and I didn't wanna waste food so I picked it up."

F**k! Her face is so fking serious! Holy sh*t. She's not playing around. Wtf is going on in her head.

"You mean you stole it?... But why now? Of all places?"

"It was still a warm potato and it would be a sin for me to waste such a delicious looking potato. So I figured it was now or never. Sir."

Oy! TEACH ME SENPAI! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WITH SUCH A STRAIGHT FACE!

"No, no. no, I can't comprehend why would you do such a thing. Why are you eating a potato?"

"... Sir. Are you seriously asking me why we eat potatoes in general? I'm surprised you don't even know that."

Silence ensued once again. This time... it was so quiet you can even hear the wind blowing.

Then she had a realization on her face.

Did she finally understand her mistake? Phew. She was not as idiotic as I thought.

Not.

Split*

Huh?

"Here. Have half for yourself, sir."

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

That's not half. That's like one fourth! But still. What a nice girl.

I didn't even realize that my train of thought was completely different from others, which everyone was thinking, 'WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM A POTATO!'

Wow. That look on her face, it's like one of those Buddhist cultivators back in my old world.

"Heh へ( ‾◡◝ )>"

Clap* clap* clap* clap*

Looking at this scene, I was touched and couldn't help but keep clapping

Ah... Did I do something wrong?

Silence ensued yet, once again.

"YOU F*CKTARDS! EITHER RUN UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD OR YOU FKING GIVE UP ON EATING FOOD FOR TODAY!"

With that word coming off from the sadistic instructor, Sasha's face turned from red, to blue, to black, and to white.

Wow...

"NOOOOO!!!! PLEASE!! ANYTHING BUT THE FOOD!! I WILL RUN!!"

The look of despair on her face when she was told she couldn't have any food... was probably the most desperate face I have ever seen. She is a food fanatic for sure.

"What about you Mr. Athanatos Ackermann."

"I can run sir, but I can't die by running."

Silence ensued once again.

I'm just stating the truth. And I'm trying to make a good impression here. If I tell everyone that I'm strong enough to run for a long time, they will think definitely increase my overall evaluation and thus ensuring me a place in the top 10.

"You... Both of you, run 50 l.a.p.s for me. And don't stop. I will keep my eyes on you."

In the back of the crowd, I can people murmuring something about impossible to complete 50 l.a.p.s or it will take 10 hours to do it at least.

Perfect. It's my time to shine and show off my skills. What a genius idea I came up with. I guess I will use .1% of Mikasa's strength or else I might be seen as a montrosity walking around.