I Slept Through The Apocalypse

"I am the extraordinary entity known as Pringles. But you can call me… Mr. Pringles."

Clover didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Of all the names he could have picked… Mr. Pringles. He stifled his laughter however, in case the parasyte was able to rot his brain or something in retaliation.

Mr. Pringles had no face, yet it's blob-like movements portrayed bafflement.

"Rest assured, I'm not going to eat your brains."

"W-whaaa? I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're welcome to keep pretending, but now that you're a host, our minds are connected. In other words, I'm able to hear your presumptuous thoughts."

"Well that's no fair, how come I can't hear your thoughts?"

"That's because your soul is infinitesimally weaker than mine. You don't even know how to access or cultivate your soul strength, how would you even know how to hear my thoughts? Besides, the stronger soul is obviously able to block out the other to their thoughts."

"...Well, that's no fair."

"Life is not fair."

Mr. Pringles let Clover dwell in life's unfairness for a bit, before entering Clover's head. Clover felt everything warping around him, a bright flash of light blinded him. When he was able to see, he found himself in a completely white world.

"Our race was not originally one of parasites, we used to be able to exist without the assistance of other sentient beings. Our race were called the Renaak and we were an extremely powerful race. The other races feared us for our powerful constitutions, space law comprehension, and our bloodline power. It wasn't until the Shakul, another race which supposedly allied with our kind, betrayed us, and took our beloved princess hostage. Threatening to kill our little princess, who held the most pure bloodline of our race, we had no choice but to allow them to seal us in those charms, or risk the decline of our race, and the dilution of our bloodlines."

The image of a dark, sinister creature with a large head, webbed feet, and spikes extruding from it's back appeared.

"Have you seen anything on Earth that looks like this?"

"Yeah… now that you mention it… I have seen something like this before."

"Really? Where have you seen this creature? We must eliminate them at all costs!"

"I'm pretty sure what you showed me right there was a very sinister looking dinosaur."

"Tell me, where are these dinosaurs located?"

"Oh they're long gone. They were wiped out a by a meteor."

"...Impossible...They couldn't have―"

"And that was my first time seeing that dinosaur but I could tell it was evil. Your race really fell for an obvious one if you ask me."

"..."

"Listen… Mr. Pringles, I know your entire race is in a predicament right now but you still haven't told me how you woke up from that charm or how I got here."

"...After they sealed us in the charms, they didn't release the princess, and instead, sent all the charms hurtling into space. I ended up here because I got lucky, but I don't know if my brothers and sisters had the same fortune. I was picked up by your grandma who found me half sticking out of the rocks she ordered for her backyard and you know the rest of that story. Then that meteor arrived, and I, who was only partially awake since being sealed in this charm, felt re-energized and woke up as it neared us."

"Wait what meteor?"

"The one that was gonna hit your planet while you were asleep."

"And did it hit?"

"What do you think you're standing in right now!"

"How did I not notice a huge green meteor hurtling towards us!"

"Don't even start with me, I saw you sleeping through the whole thing. It was certainly, an interesting sight. You were even on fire."

"..."

"It turns out,that enormous meteorite was a ginormous chunk of valeite ore, you could tell because it burns a deep jade green, valeite ore is a rare energy crystal on our world, we are able to directly absorb it if it is in our surroundings. So instead of that meteor crashing into you and flattening you into meat paste, I absorbed it to break the seal and then distributed the rest to your body. You're welcome."