I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Superpowers abound. Villains rule the world. A transmigrated dork that has absolutely no idea what’s going on.

Strong-armed by the Superhero Enhancement System into the thankless job of endlessly performing good deeds in a world where such actions are often met with violence, Lucas Lynn doesn't have much choice in regards to using his supposed gifts.

It’s bad enough having to pretend to be a supervillain, but how exactly does Boss System expect him to save the world with only the help of a homeless orphan, a dog that’s smarter than he is, and a yoyo?

Oh, just trick some supervillains into becoming superheroes instead? You make it sound so easy!

[Bzzt… Scan complete. Analyzing…]

'Eh?'

[Analysis complete. Positive value found, now loading… Loading complete.]

'Okay, WTF is…'

[Binding successful. Congratulations upstanding citizen. You have been selected by the Superhero Enhancement System. Please select your desired enhancement. The following options are avail…]

'I'M DYING! IS NOT DYING AN OPTION!?'

[Error, invalid selection. An enhancement will be randomly selected. Randomizing… Strength has been selected. Enhanced strength will be calibrated for your rebirth. Please look forward to it.]

'WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F…'

With this final thought, Lucas has finished dying in a pool of his own blood on the sidewalk.

Little character theater:

Lucas, attempting to broker a deal for benefits for his freshly forced vocation of heroic servitude: “Hey 427, do I at least get some vacation time?”

System # 427, completely deadpan: […There's a new minor task available to the southwest. There's also a cute dog you can pet over there.]

Lucas, with newfound enthusiasm: “WHERE'S THE PUPPER!?