I'm A Vampire God?!

After hanging up with the lead designers from Gaia, I decided to call Jelia back. She deserves a little reward for her excellent performance thus far, and her undying loyalty. Picking up my phone, I dialed Jelia's number. After one ring she picked up breathlessly. "My Lord! How can I be of service to you?" I chuckled at her zealous behavior and simply said, "Jelia will you please go out on a date with me? Just the two of us?" Silence. Absolute silence for 20 seconds before I heard a quiet whisper on the other end. "Finally.. Yes!" Whispering the first part she then screamed yes at the top of her lungs. Holding the phone back from my face, I heard a sonic boom as Jelia appeared before me in a s.e.xy gothic lolita dress red in color. Twirling an elegant umbrella over her head, she said, "Shall we my Lord?" With a bright smile on her face, and eyes glistening she locked eyes with me. Standing up from my throne, I said, "Let's be off then!" Linking arms with Jelia, I lead the way out of the base where a limo was waiting for us. I said, "Driver take us to the best restaurant in the city!" Suddenly the doors locked and the limo tore out of the parking space. Hissing, Jelia shouted something before darting for the driver. We smashed into a warehouse and were ejected out of the limo. Suddenly a figure in a strange get up rotated through the air and landed lightly on their feet. Holding a wooden stake in one hand, and a silver crossbow in the other, it would seem that we have ourselves a slayer. Looking over at Jelia, I grinned before saying, "Go Jelia I choose you!" Roaring in ecstasy, Jelia launched herself towards the slayer at record speed, I quickly shouted telling her to keep them alive. With one smack from Jelia, the slayer's outfit exploded and revealed a n.a.k.e.d and unconscious young woman beneath. Darting over to me, Jelia went sparkle, sparkle and shimmer, shimmer as she shyly shifted from one foot to another before saying, "Did I do good? Please praise me my Lord! A kiss would be most excellent! I'll cherish it always!" Laughing at how innocent this powerful immortal acted before me, I turned towards her and tilted her chin up. Kissing her gently on the lips, I released her chin and watched as she collapsed unconscious. Shaking my head at this, I gently shook her awake. Swiftly back on her feet she began to dance around the warehouse singing about eternal love and loneliness lost. I was deeply moved by her sincerity, but I'm still a little scared to open myself up to being hurt again. I can only hope Jelia will be patient with me. After all, my fatal weakness is my naivete. Plus I can be a bit over the top sometimes... Okay all of the time but I'm a major chunni so.. Anyway back to the situation at hand.

Taking the n.a.k.e.d slayer over to a wall I sat her up against it before lightly tapping on her face. Immediately she began to stir. Staring at me in abject fear and immense revulsion, the girl started to try to bite down on something but I quickly stuck my fingers in her mouth and retrieved a suicide pill. Crushing it into nothingness, I then smacked the woman across the face before saying, "Fool woman! You should treasure your life more! Now, begin talking about who sent you after us and why." Surprisingly the girl cooperated with us, and so began a long winded story. To sum it up, The Slayer Society had declared me a Calamity Class existence whose motives remain unknown. And a dangerous unknown, is obviously a threat right? So, they tasked this S Rank Slayer here to make contact and if possible kill me. However, she failed and now we're up to date.

What a pickle.