Long Past Dawn

"Dawn, I need to tell you something very important....."

I let out a nervous laugh, trying but failing to lighten the atmosphere, "W-what is it? W-what's wrong?"

Mom suddenly gets up and walks over to me, tears are streaming down her face and her lips are quivering, her tears splash down onto my hoodie, she then places her shaking hands over my ears, I quietly hear her trembling voice whisper, "I love you so much, Dawn."

Even with mom's hands over my ears, I hear his next words loud and clear. "Dawn your mother died five years ago from an overdose."

As if in a trance I hear my duffle bag thud to the ground. W-what is he saying?

He knows. He knows, he ruined it! Everything was perfect until he came and now everything is ruined! No. No. No.

"W-what do you mean she is right here..... She's standing right in front of me you can't tell me that she isn't real!!"

"Dawn you have to realize that we're the only two people in the house," Batman says so calmly like he's explaining it to a little kid.

"What do you mean the only two people in the house?! Mom's been here the whole time!" I yell, but she's not. There's no one in front of me, no tear stains on my hoodie, no soft hands covering my ears, no mom to stop me from hearing the truth.

Batman turns from looking at me to looking at one of the walls, "Dawn how come there are no pictures in this house? It doesn't feel like a happy three-person family is living here, it feels more like a dollhouse."

"T-this is some joke, right? Of course, mom is real, why shouldn't she be?" Say this is some joke, please.

"Dawn listen to what I'm saying. Your mother died five years ago. This," he says waving a hand around the room, "is all in your head. If you don't believe me go check your parent's room."

"B-but they don't like me going in there...." I say, the shock is slowly ebbing through me.

"They don't? Are you sure it's not you thinking that so you can keep this whole lie up?" He says it so calmly, I hate it. Don't say that. You have no right to say these things.

"What do you know about me!! This- What do you want with me?! What the f*ck are you saying about mom being dead for five years?! Then who the hell has been looking after me for five f*cking years?! Why didn't child protection come for me?! Why did I have money to spend on clothes?! Who the f*ck paid the bills?!! You have no right to be here saying that my parents are f*cking dead!!" I yell, spitting venom at him. I don't care if the neighbors hear me anymore.

"Dawn you have to trust me. Your mother died five years ago."

"Shut up! shut up! Shut up!" I yell, the tears are coming down now and I don't even care about them anymore. "You don't know anything about me! Shut up!"

"I'm sorry Dawn."

I'm shocked..... He means it..... They're really gone then, or maybe they just never existed at all... "Get out. Get out. Get the f*ck out of my house!" I growl at him, to my surprise he does, he takes my packed duffle bag and silently exits the house. Leaving me alone in my grief.

I turn around to the kitchen, rushing in and grabbing everything breakable and smashing to the floor. Glass, china and other pieces of pottery litter the ground, cutting into the skin on my feet and legs, a small pool of my blood starts to form on the ground.

'Hey, the sleepy heads up! Come and get your breakfast!'

Was that a lie? Was all of that a lie? Then what was real? The mom from five years ago that was distant and cold, that wouldn't bat an eye if her own daughter died on the streets? I don't want to believe it! Why! Why couldn't he let me live my lie?! Why did he have to break it!? I was happy! I was loved by someone for the first time in my life!! Was that such a sin!?!

But it wasn't real..... I wasn't loved, I wasn't needed. It was all fake, a child that had never had parental affection came up with an imaginary mother and father so she could feel like she was in an actual family, keeping the illusion going until it was so thin it would shatter if you even touched it. But instead of a gentle touch that broke the dream, it was more like a sledgehammer being passed through it so that it was smashed into so many small pieces that they could never be put back together.

I stand panting in the kitchen until the cuts on my legs and feet hurt and have bled so much I'm not sure I can stand anymore I lie down on the kitchen tile, the shattered pottery and memories littered the floor like snow, my blood has pooled between the titles and more still bleeds out. The pain from my heart and cuts are unbearable.

"F*ck, it hurts."

***

I'm not sure how much time I spent lying on the cold tile in the kitchen but I eventually got up, my back and legs a torn mess of skin and blood from the shattered glass on the floor, but I can hardly feel it anymore. I've numbed my heart and mind.

I just get up, not bothering to brush off the glass and pottery stuck to me. I walk out of the house, I can feel curious stares from neighboring buildings but I just walk straight to the car, opening the door and stepping into the car. Batman is sitting there so I'll assume my things are in the back.

He starts the car after he sees I'm settled and the car ride back is even quieter than the one coming.

The silence is only broken once, when I ask him a question, "Why did you tell me? You could have left me thinking that they were real. That someone loved me."

"Because no one deserves that, to believe so deeply that someone is waiting for you when you come back when really they're already long gone."

I don't speak again, I just stare out the car window, wondering why it had to end this why? I didn't even say goodbye.

Yet again I look out the car window as we speed down streets, but this time instead of wondering where they're going now I wonder who they've lost, what pain has death put them through, can they be so happy even if someone close to them dies?

I don't get answers to my questions instead we roll back into the warehouse almost as if nothing happened.

"Do I have my own room here if I'm going to be staying here?"

"Ask Diana, she'll show you the way. Also," He says reaching behind him and passing me my canvas duffle bag. "I am sorry Dawn."

Whatever. I pull the car door open and step out with my duffle bag slung back over my shoulder.

Wonderwoman comes over, alarm on her face when she sees the tear stains and cuts on me. I ignore the look and instead say, "Batman said I have a room here, where is it?"

Wonderwoman leads the way to a door at the far end of the warehouse, the door doesn't seem to have a knob and instead of opening it she says "Open."

The door magically slides open with a beep and I step in, I don't even bother to look around I just throw my duffle on the bed. Her face is a picture of worry but I can't help but think how long did she know? When did she know they weren't real?

"Hey, are you o-"

"I just want some time alone." I say, cutting her off.

"Ok then, come out soon so we can treat your cuts though...." After she says that she steps out of the room and the door closes behind her with another beep.

I lean my back against the door and slide down until I'm sitting on the ground, I tuck my head so I turn into a ball. And I cry, I cry until my throat is raw, until my eyes sting, until I can't breathe, until no more tears fall.

"It hurts so much."