Mayo Chiki!

Chapter 2 - Rooftop Secret

“Go out with me.”

It was an unexpected order with no preamble or warning. We stood on the rooftop, but a different one from where Konoe and I would eat lunch from time to time, located atop Rouran Academy’s second building. The early summer sun shone directly down on us—as Usami Masamune threw these words at me.

“…Excuse me?”

“Don’t give me that. I’m telling you to go out with me. Or to be more precise, I want you to act as my lover. At least until the school festival is over. Also, you have no right to decline, just to let you know.”

“……”

…Now hold on. Right to decline or not, I don’t even get what’s going on right now.

“What, you have a problem with that?”

“…of course I do? Why are we even up on the rooftop like this?”

“I like this place. Barely any people come here, so I can be alone.”

“Huh.”

Well, they say that idiots like high places. Still, tag me here and ask me to act as your boyfriend? What kind of development is this? What did I do to deserve this?

“Alright then, let me give you a brief explanation. Do you know the [S4]?” She asked me, as her twintails swayed in the wind.

“Heard the name before. Wasn’t it this school’s number one fanclub for Konoe?”

[S4]…Namely, [Shooting Star Subaru-sama], right. Honestly speaking, I only heard crazy shit about them. Simply to get in there, you need to seal a blood pact or something, and if you betray them, you’ll be forced to skydive without a parachute. It’s like an urban legend.

“I’m a member there.” Usami announced bluntly.

I mean, I figured as much. After all, that would explain why she hates me this much. The peeps from [S4] can’t stand seeing me get along with their beloved Subaru-sama.

“But, how is that related to me going out with you?”

“Hear me out until the very end. Us [S4] actually have a secret event during this school festival.”

“…Don’t tell me, are you selling some of the rumoured Konoe goods there?”

Ever since Konoe started attending this school, there’s been some black market and underground auctions regarding any Subaru-sama goods, which also built up to this urban legend, but to think that actually existed.

“That is one thing, but this year the direction is different.”

“Direction?” I asked, unsure of what she was talking about.

“—War.”

“…What?”

“A war will happen. It will be an absolute all-out war for the hegemony of this school.”

“………”

Is her head okay? Maybe she’s trying out some new drug or whatever. That would explain a lot of things. I need to bring her to the infirmary…or, student guidance?

“…What’s that look in your eyes for?” She must have guessed what I was thinking, as Usami threw me a harsh warning. “There will be a war during this year’s school festival. It’ll be between us [S4], and the other big faction of the fanclub—’Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze committee’.”

“Urk.”

The moment I heard those words, I couldn’t hold back a groan. Can you blame me? The girls who are part of this committee…are interested in a certain subgenre. They are fujoshi, interested in anything that is boy and boy. They’re hungry for more BL material between me and Konoe, which is why there’s some weird rumour going around that me and their beloved Subaru-sama are dating ever since this April, when we ended up as friends.

Of course, the [S4] got wind of that, and has been plotting to assassinate me under the punishment of having dared to lay my hands on Subaru-sama, but the reason I’m still alive is because of this committee protesting against that decision. Ever since this stalemate began, two months passed. There’s even the rumour that beneath the calm surface, they’ve been waging war like this was Vietnam ever since, but I don’t want to know about that.

“The cold war has ended. [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] are going to battle it out at the school festival, attempting to bring an end to this rivalry. The loser will be sucked up and integrated into the winner’s group.”

“Integrated?”

“The power structure will change. Right now, [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] are keeping a vague balance, but once this event is over, the winner will have absolute supremacy.”

That’s why—she continued.

“Until the school festival begins, you need to act as my boyfriend. I want our group to get an advantage no matter how insignificant it may be.”

“Well, I get where you’re coming from…”

Basically, I have to act like that until the battle begins. Namely, to go out with this girl…and work against the rumour that Konoe and I are in a BL relationship. In doing so, the [Watch over Committee] will be shaken, as they will lose their support. What horrendous background work this is.

“I bet this must have been decided by god. My encounter with you this morning is a blessing. Thanks to that, I came up with that plan.” Usami puffed out her moderate chest in arrogance.

What god are you talking about? There’s no way he’d throw in some divine intervention for such a stupid reason. I doubt he has that much time.

“Listen, did you really think I would agree just like that?”

Like hell I would. Sorry to tell you, but I want the [Watch over Committee] to win, alright. Being turned into some BL material doesn’t exactly sit right with me either, but it’s better than fearing for my life.

“No worries. If we win after that event, we will restructure the upper echelon of the [S4], so that you can live in peace. Our—No, my goal is simply to crush the [Watch over Committee].”

“…Hm.”

Well, if those are the conditions, then I wouldn’t mind helping out. If anything, that’s some benefit I get. If everything works out, I won’t ever have to see BL doujinshi with me as the main character. However…

“What, you still don’t seem satisfied. Do you hate the idea of fake dating me that much? Not satisfied with my looks?”

“No, of course not.”

Her looks aren’t a problem. If anything, she’s really cute, so going out with her would have me uneasy.

“Eh…really? Then, what’s the problem?” For some reason, Usami started blushing ever so slightly.

…What, is she happy about that indirect compliment? Why’s she acting so girly now? I mean, there’s a bigger problem than all of this war nonsense. She doesn’t know about my gynophobia. Even if we’re only pretend-dating, we’ll still have to hang out around each other during that time. It won’t be long until she finds out my secret.

Hmm…what to do about this? I thought to myself, and crossed my arms.

“Do you hate the idea that much? Well, since you don’t swing that way, I guess you might dislike dating a girl.”

“………”

Now hold on a second. What did this woman just say?

“You! What are you on about!?”

“I mean, aren’t you…into guys?”

“Waaaaaah!?”

Ahhhh this is a lie! A girl in my garde thinks I’m actually into guys!

“Eh, am I wrong? I feel like that’s an established fact by now.”

“What do you mean by established fact?!”

“I mean…aren’t you dating Subaru-sama?”

“No way! We’re just friends!”

“Friends…Don’t tell me, sex friends?”

“Nooooo!”

“You’re the worst! So you were just after Subaru-sama’s body!”

“I’m telling you that’s not it, you perverted rabbit!”

“W-Who’s a perverted rabbit!? I’m just stating the obvious!”

“How is that obvious…”

This is too cruel! I’ve been trying to avoid it until now, but my image at school is awful…What a shocker…

“The reason [S4] and [Watch over Committee] are on such rivaling terms is because everyone firmly believes you and Subaru-sama are dating.”

“Believing…How did that rumour even come into existence?”

Is it because I accidentally pushed down Konoe inside the school? I mean, that did happen, but nobody should have seen that.

“Because you’re way too close! You even eat lunch together!”

“That’s normal between friends, right?”

“Subaru-sama isn’t normal! He never opened his heart towards anybody but his master Suzutsuki Kanade! The fact that he’s with you is plenty weird already!”

“T-That’s…”

The reason is simple. I found out that Konoe is a girl, and she’s afraid of me leaking that, which is why she stays around me at all times. I’m an exception to the case, nothing more.

“Not to mention…You know! I have the proof with me!” Usami showed me her phone screen.

“……! Y-You, why do you have that…!?”

Looking at the screen, I was left shocked. After all, on there was Konoe, wearing our school’s uniform…but the girls’ version.

“Two months ago, I took that picture when I was out shopping in the town next to ours. What is this about? Why is Subaru-sama crossdressing?”

“……”

“Not to mention that you presented Subaru-sama with a plush toy, and you were practically embracing each other, right? And, to finish it off…!” Usami gave me a sharp scowl. “A kiss…you are both men, and you were about to kiss each other!” She screamed, her face beet red.

……This is bad. I’m being backed into a corner. If I deny all of that, she might figure out that Konoe is actually a girl.

“On top of that, there’s this rumour going around.” Usami took a breath, and continued. “That Subaru-sama is into crossdressing.”

“!”

“They’re also saying that he’s been starting to look more like a girl, his gestures and all.”

“……”

“That’s why, there’s a few people who start thinking that Subaru-sama might be into crossdressing. Well, talking about Subaru-sama, I doubt that’s happening. The clothes in the picture, you probably forced him to wear, right?”

That’s what’s going on here, right? — She looked up at me, and asked.

…H-How could this happen? Thinking about it, I feel like Konoe’s been acting more like a girl as of late…or rather, she’s been letting down her guard too much, but to think that it would lead to such a misunderstanding…Where there’s no smoke, no fire can exist. Eventually, they might start guessing that Subaru-sama is actually a girl. That…is something I have to avoid at all costs. If people find out that she’s a girl, she’ll be forced to quit as Suzutsuki’s butler…!

“……!”

Through careful consideration, at the limit of my possibilities, I decided on a certain plan. Just like a certain rich lady, I would just blurt out nonsense. In order to protect the secret of my friend, I made a decision.

“…Alright, I’ll be honest with you. Just as you said, Konoe and I are in that kind of relationship!”

“I-I knew it! So the rumours were true! So, wait, you are…”

“…! That’s right! I’m gay! I love BL! Something bad about that!?”

“N-No, of course not…”

“Then don’t dig so deep into my interests!”

“Urk…S-Sorry. But, you should just be honest with it.”

“This late into the game!? What exactly!?”

“That you undoubtedly are into guys.”

“I…I! I loooooooooooove men!!”

June was getting close to the end. The early summer sun shone down mercilessly. At the top of my lungs, I screamed. In all honesty, I was just winging it. I wonder why…the sun is so bright. I feel like I just lost something very important as a man. I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t why I’m apologizing to you, but for now, I’m sorry.

“U-Um, sorry? I didn’t think you’d…I mean, I wasn’t expecting you to be this serious about it. So…let’s calm down, okay?” Usami spoke with a gentle expression, trying to be as nice as possible.

…It hurts. What is this situation. Why am I saying that I’m into guys in front of a female classmate just like this. Alright, this is all to protect Konoe’s secret. No, seriously! Please, believe me! I only like girls, okay!

“But, now you must understand it, right? If you help with my plan, that’s the only way for you. You have to act as my boyfriend. If you don’t, I’ll show this picture to the whole school.”

Are you kidding me?

“Didn’t I tell you? You have no right to decline here.”

Damn it, this woman really has no good part in her soul. Going out with her, even if it’s just acting, is dangerous. In the worst case scenario, she might find out about my gynophobia…

“Are you still hesitating? Or, are you scared of going out with a girl? I really didn’t think you’d be that of a chicken bastard.”

“Wha…S-Shut up! Who’s a chicken bastard!?” I desperately tried to deny Usami’s words.

However, she just kept grinning, and continued.

“Hmm, then why don’t you show it to me, Sakamachi Kinjirou.”

“!?”

S-She’s using my full name right now? D-Don’t tell me…did she realize? Only that rich lady before caught on to it, and yet…!

“What’s wrong? Come on, show me, Sakamachikinjirou.”

“……”

“Sakama, Chikin, Jirou.”

“………”

“Will you hurry up already, chicken bastard!”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Unable to bear it, I screamed.

“Hmpf, I didn’t think you were as much of a chicken as your name suggested. You’re that scared to pretend to be dating a girl?”

“Y-You wench…!”

How nasty of a personality do you have? Fine by me. If you’re going that far, I’ll play along.

“Alright. I’ll act as your boyfriend. Only until the school festival is over, of course.” I deeply hated the idea, but I agreed to Usami’s words.

Thinking about it, acting as the lover of a girl doesn’t sound half bad. There’s the danger of her finding out about my secret, but it might help fix my gynophobia as well. Being around a girl must be a plus for me. Probably.

“Alright, negotiations complete, then. This is a secret between the two of us, so remember that?” Her twintails shook, as Usami showed a gleeful smile. “Then, let’s start with names.”

“Names?”

“Exactly. Since we’ll be acting as lovers from now on, we need to call each other with intimate names, or it’ll seem off.”

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“Intimate…What, do you want to be called ‘Usamin’ or something?”

“…Do you want to be kicked again?” She glared at me.

Maybe she has some bad memories with that name? That’s some crazy killing intent you’re throwing my way there. Usami shook her head, and continued.

“Usami is fine. Just go with that from now on.”

“…..Usami, huh.”

“Also, I already came up with a name for you.” She puffed out her chest, and continued. “Stupid Chicken.”

“…Huh?”

“That’ll be your name. Stupid Chicken. What do you think? You’re stupid, and a chicken, so it should be perfect, right?”

…How is that perfect? At least let me call you ‘Usamin’ in return then. I feel like I at least deserve that…

“Please treat me well, Stupid Chicken.” Usami said so, and looked up at me.

She showed an innocent, simply blissful smile.

“…R-Right. Same here, Usami.”

Hm? What’s wrong, why are you blushing like that?”

“N-Nothing at all! Don’t look at me!”

Reflexively, I averted my face from Usami. I couldn’t help but blush because of that. I mean, that’s just not fair. After all, when she smiles, she’s so cute.

“Anyway, let’s go back to the classroom. Third period is about to start. Of course, we’ll be eating lunch together. You’ll be paying. You’re my boyfriend after all.”

“……”

Let me take back that statement. It seems like my naming sense is off. A cute name like ‘Usamin’ definitely doesn’t fit her.

“You damn nasty rabbit.”

“Hm? Did you say something? Stupid Chicken.”

We spit poison at each other, and headed towards the door of the rooftop. Well, all of this will be over after the school festival, so I just have to hold back until then. I let out a sigh, and put my hand on the doorknob.

“—Ah, I forgot to tell you something important.” Usami moved her lips, as she spoke with a reminiscent tone. “Hey, Stupid Chicken. Since you agreed to assist me, you’ll be my boyfriend until the school festival is over. Basically—we’re partners, right. If so, then promise me one thing.” She continued with an oddly serious expression. “Don’t lie to me.”

“…Lie?”

“That’s right. I hate it when people lie to me. That’s why, swear to me. Swear that you definitely won’t lie to me. In return, I won’t lie to you either.”

“…Huh.”

That’s an odd way of phrasing things. I wasn’t planning on lying either way, but she sure does not trust me at all. Even calling us partners is still pretty distant.

“Alright, I got it. But, before that promise, how about you actually have some faith in me? It’s exhausting that you treat me like some stranger. You’ll lose your friends like this.”

How do I say this, despite having a cute face, she sure can be twisted. She’s that cute, so she could just be honest.

“—It’s fine.” Usami muttered with a somewhat dejected tone. “…I don’t have any friends after all.”

“Eh?”

“…No, it’s nothing. Anyway, just don’t lie to me. Then, I’ll put some more trust in you. Okay, Stupid Chicken?” She spoke with conviction in her voice, and yet averted her gaze.

…I’ll take it back one more time. Usami Masamune isn’t just twisted, she’s crazy. You can’t believe in someone unless they don’t lie to you? I feel like she shielded herself and her honesty, and is just careful and wary about everyone around her. Like a rabbit, who can’t trust people…

“What, is there something on my face?”

When I was spacing out, Usami glared at me.

“……”

Well, whatever. We’ll only pretend to date until the school festival is over.

“…Hm?”

Wait a second, am I not forgetting something crucial?

“Hey, does that mean…I have to act as your boyfriend even on the day of the school festival?”

“Huh? Of course. We’ll be walking around then, acting like a couple. That should work just fine against the [Watch over Committee].”

Crap, that’s not good. I just promised Konoe that we’d walk around during the school festival. What should I do about this…I need to find a way out of this, or…

“—Jirou? What are you doing here?”

Suddenly, an alto voice reached my ears. Before I could open up the door of the rooftop, someone got ahead of me.

“K-Konoe!? Why are you here!?”

That’s right, this is Konoe Subaru we’re talking about. That butler had opened the door, observing me and Usami with wide open eyes.

“Why…I mean, you didn’t come back for 2nd period, so I was looking for you. Since you weren’t on the usual rooftop, I came here instead…Jirou, who is that girl next to you?” She turned her translucent eyes at Usami now.

…Oh man, I can tell that this situation will take a dip for the worse really soon…

“Ah…ah…Shu…Shubaru-shama…!” Usami hid behind my back.

She probably didn’t want to meet gazes with Subaru, as her gaze wandered all over the place, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

“H-Hey, say something. Konoe’s looking at us weirdly.”

I called out to Usami, who was still clinging to my sleeve, with a quiet voice, only for her to shake her head.

“No no no no no! What are you talking about, Stupid Chicken! An average human being like me can never talk with Subaru-sama! You do something about this!”

Jeez, her character is completely different from before. Where did that pushy and arrogant attitude from before go? Now she definitely is like a rabbit, hiding in her hole.

“Even if you say that…What am I supposed to do about this?”

“Easy! You just have to tell him that we’re a couple!”

You serious?

“Also, aren’t you and Subaru-sama in that kind of relationship? If so, you need to be honest here. Then he’ll surely understand!”

No no no, we’re not in that kind of relationship, alright. Also, I seriously doubt that Konoe would just simply accept that.

“…What are you two whispering about? Is it that hard to tell me?” Konoe’s dubious gaze pierced my chest.

Subaru-sama was giving me a cold glare like she usually would at school. Damn…no way around this, huh. I don’t care what happens anymore.

“L-Let me introduce you. This girl’s name is Usami Masamune. A-And…we are dating.”

“…Huh?” Konoe’s mouth opened wide in shock, only for her to start laughing. “I’ve heard better jokes. You’re going out with that girl? You of all people, Jirou? I don’t buy that.”

“……”

Hey now, aren’t you being awfully rude with that comment? I figured you wouldn’t buy it immediately, but there’s no need to insult me. Konoe however ignored my displeasure, and instead looked at Usami behind me.

“Come on, tell me the truth. No, spit it out. Who are you to Jirou?”

I heard a faint shriek. I can’t blame her, the current Konoe is absolutely in her Subaru-sama mode—namely a prince that won’t anybody approach her. Her sour expression emitted crazy levels of pressure, to the point where even I felt like shrieking. Why is she this angry, I wonder.

“What’s wrong? Say something. Also…w-why are you clinging to Jirou like that?” The amount of pressure heightened even further.

Is she in a bad mood today? That is some sharp gaze of hers. I only saw her like that last time she went to pick out bread at the school store…Is she bothered about this? Maybe I should say something—is what I thought.

“Um…we actually are dating!” Usami must have hit her limit, and screamed.

“Wha…” This time, Konoe staggered backwards.

Met with this unexpected revelation, Butler-kun directed her gaze over at me again.

“…Jirou? That’s enough joking around. Why is that girl even trying to deceive me?” Her translucent eyes were full with doubt, staring at me.

However.

“I-I’m not deceiving you! This person and I are dating! We promised that we would go on a date during the school festival as well!”

Hearing Usami’s affirmation, Konoe let out a dumbfounded ‘Eh’, as her expression froze up. Following that, her mouth opened and closed in shock, as she directed an anxious face at me.

“…Jirou, is that true? You plan on going on a date with that girl during the school festival?”

“……”

I could only nod in silence. Immediately after that, I felt a sharp pain inside the depths of my chest. But, this is all to protect Konoe’s secret. So that she doesn’t have to quit as a butler—

“…!”

Moments after, an impact shook my body. A full-force body blow—Konoe’s right fist hammered right into my solar plexus.

“I…I was wrong about you…!” A certain alto voice reached my ears, sounding like it was about to cry.

As my body collapsed on the ground, I somehow managed to direct my gaze upwards, only to find Konoe’s dampened eyes glaring down at me.

“Even though you promised…that we would walk around together…You promised it to me…Jirou, you liar.” Konoe muttered while pouting, and stormed off the rooftop.

“…Hey, Stupid Chicken. Are…you okay?” Usami seemed worried about the collapsed me, and came closer.

“Yeah, not a big deal. I told you my body’s pretty sturdy.” I answered, as I laid on the ground with my arms and legs open.

…But, I wonder why. I’ve been sparring with Konoe for a while now. That’s why, a single punch like this shouldn’t be enough to keep me down for the count like this. But, as I was gazing up at the early summer blue sky…I couldn’t muster up the strength to get up for a while.

Chapter 2 - Rooftop Secret

“Go out with me.”

It was an unexpected order with no preamble or warning. We stood on the rooftop, but a different one from where Konoe and I would eat lunch from time to time, located atop Rouran Academy’s second building. The early summer sun shone directly down on us—as Usami Masamune threw these words at me.

“…Excuse me?”

“Don’t give me that. I’m telling you to go out with me. Or to be more precise, I want you to act as my lover. At least until the school festival is over. Also, you have no right to decline, just to let you know.”

“……”

…Now hold on. Right to decline or not, I don’t even get what’s going on right now.

“What, you have a problem with that?”

“…of course I do? Why are we even up on the rooftop like this?”

“I like this place. Barely any people come here, so I can be alone.”
“Huh.”

Well, they say that idiots like high places. Still, tag me here and ask me to act as your boyfriend? What kind of development is this? What did I do to deserve this?

“Alright then, let me give you a brief explanation. Do you know the [S4]?” She asked me, as her twintails swayed in the wind.

“Heard the name before. Wasn’t it this school’s number one fanclub for Konoe?”

[S4]…Namely, [Shooting Star Subaru-sama], right. Honestly speaking, I only heard crazy shit about them. Simply to get in there, you need to seal a blood pact or something, and if you betray them, you’ll be forced to skydive without a parachute. It’s like an urban legend.

“I’m a member there.” Usami announced bluntly.

I mean, I figured as much. After all, that would explain why she hates me this much. The peeps from [S4] can’t stand seeing me get along with their beloved Subaru-sama.

“But, how is that related to me going out with you?”

“Hear me out until the very end. Us [S4] actually have a secret event during this school festival.”

“…Don’t tell me, are you selling some of the rumoured Konoe goods there?”

Ever since Konoe started attending this school, there’s been some black market and underground auctions regarding any Subaru-sama goods, which also built up to this urban legend, but to think that actually existed.

“That is one thing, but this year the direction is different.”

“Direction?” I asked, unsure of what she was talking about.

“—War.”

“…What?”

“A war will happen. It will be an absolute all-out war for the hegemony of this school.”

“………”

Is her head okay? Maybe she’s trying out some new drug or whatever. That would explain a lot of things. I need to bring her to the infirmary…or, student guidance?

“…What’s that look in your eyes for?” She must have guessed what I was thinking, as Usami threw me a harsh warning. “There will be a war during this year’s school festival. It’ll be between us [S4], and the other big faction of the fanclub—’Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze committee’.”

“Urk.”

The moment I heard those words, I couldn’t hold back a groan. Can you blame me? The girls who are part of this committee…are interested in a certain subgenre. They are fujoshi, interested in anything that is boy and boy. They’re hungry for more BL material between me and Konoe, which is why there’s some weird rumour going around that me and their beloved Subaru-sama are dating ever since this April, when we ended up as friends.

Of course, the [S4] got wind of that, and has been plotting to assassinate me under the punishment of having dared to lay my hands on Subaru-sama, but the reason I’m still alive is because of this committee protesting against that decision. Ever since this stalemate began, two months passed. There’s even the rumour that beneath the calm surface, they’ve been waging war like this was Vietnam ever since, but I don’t want to know about that.

“The cold war has ended. [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] are going to battle it out at the school festival, attempting to bring an end to this rivalry. The loser will be sucked up and integrated into the winner’s group.”

“Integrated?”

“The power structure will change. Right now, [S4] and the [Watch over Committee] are keeping a vague balance, but once this event is over, the winner will have absolute supremacy.”

That’s why—she continued.

“Until the school festival begins, you need to act as my boyfriend. I want our group to get an advantage no matter how insignificant it may be.”

“Well, I get where you’re coming from…”

Basically, I have to act like that until the battle begins. Namely, to go out with this girl…and work against the rumour that Konoe and I are in a BL relationship. In doing so, the [Watch over Committee] will be shaken, as they will lose their support. What horrendous background work this is.

“I bet this must have been decided by god. My encounter with you this morning is a blessing. Thanks to that, I came up with that plan.” Usami puffed out her moderate chest in arrogance.

What god are you talking about? There’s no way he’d throw in some divine intervention for such a stupid reason. I doubt he has that much time.

“Listen, did you really think I would agree just like that?”

Like hell I would. Sorry to tell you, but I want the [Watch over Committee] to win, alright. Being turned into some BL material doesn’t exactly sit right with me either, but it’s better than fearing for my life.

“No worries. If we win after that event, we will restructure the upper echelon of the [S4], so that you can live in peace. Our—No, my goal is simply to crush the [Watch over Committee].”

“…Hm.”

Well, if those are the conditions, then I wouldn’t mind helping out. If anything, that’s some benefit I get. If everything works out, I won’t ever have to see BL doujinshi with me as the main character. However…

“What, you still don’t seem satisfied. Do you hate the idea of fake dating me that much? Not satisfied with my looks?”

“No, of course not.”

Her looks aren’t a problem. If anything, she’s really cute, so going out with her would have me uneasy.

“Eh…really? Then, what’s the problem?” For some reason, Usami started blushing ever so slightly.

…What, is she happy about that indirect compliment? Why’s she acting so girly now? I mean, there’s a bigger problem than all of this war nonsense. She doesn’t know about my gynophobia. Even if we’re only pretend-dating, we’ll still have to hang out around each other during that time. It won’t be long until she finds out my secret.

Hmm…what to do about this? I thought to myself, and crossed my arms.

“Do you hate the idea that much? Well, since you don’t swing that way, I guess you might dislike dating a girl.”

“………”

Now hold on a second. What did this woman just say?

“You! What are you on about!?”

“I mean, aren’t you…into guys?”

“Waaaaaah!?”

Ahhhh this is a lie! A girl in my garde thinks I’m actually into guys!

“Eh, am I wrong? I feel like that’s an established fact by now.”

“What do you mean by established fact?!”

“I mean…aren’t you dating Subaru-sama?”

“No way! We’re just friends!”

“Friends…Don’t tell me, sex friends?”

“Nooooo!”

“You’re the worst! So you were just after Subaru-sama’s body!”

“I’m telling you that’s not it, you perverted rabbit!”

“W-Who’s a perverted rabbit!? I’m just stating the obvious!”

“How is that obvious…”

This is too cruel! I’ve been trying to avoid it until now, but my image at school is awful…What a shocker…

“The reason [S4] and [Watch over Committee] are on such rivaling terms is because everyone firmly believes you and Subaru-sama are dating.”

“Believing…How did that rumour even come into existence?”

Is it because I accidentally pushed down Konoe inside the school? I mean, that did happen, but nobody should have seen that.

“Because you’re way too close! You even eat lunch together!”

“That’s normal between friends, right?”

“Subaru-sama isn’t normal! He never opened his heart towards anybody but his master Suzutsuki Kanade! The fact that he’s with you is plenty weird already!”

“T-That’s…”

The reason is simple. I found out that Konoe is a girl, and she’s afraid of me leaking that, which is why she stays around me at all times. I’m an exception to the case, nothing more.

“Not to mention…You know! I have the proof with me!” Usami showed me her phone screen.

“……! Y-You, why do you have that…!?”

Looking at the screen, I was left shocked. After all, on there was Konoe, wearing our school’s uniform…but the girls’ version.

“Two months ago, I took that picture when I was out shopping in the town next to ours. What is this about? Why is Subaru-sama crossdressing?”

“……”

“Not to mention that you presented Subaru-sama with a plush toy, and you were practically embracing each other, right? And, to finish it off…!” Usami gave me a sharp scowl. “A kiss…you are both men, and you were about to kiss each other!” She screamed, her face beet red.

……This is bad. I’m being backed into a corner. If I deny all of that, she might figure out that Konoe is actually a girl.

“On top of that, there’s this rumour going around.” Usami took a breath, and continued. “That Subaru-sama is into crossdressing.”

“!”

“They’re also saying that he’s been starting to look more like a girl, his gestures and all.”

“……”

“That’s why, there’s a few people who start thinking that Subaru-sama might be into crossdressing. Well, talking about Subaru-sama, I doubt that’s happening. The clothes in the picture, you probably forced him to wear, right?”

That’s what’s going on here, right? — She looked up at me, and asked.

…H-How could this happen? Thinking about it, I feel like Konoe’s been acting more like a girl as of late…or rather, she’s been letting down her guard too much, but to think that it would lead to such a misunderstanding…Where there’s no smoke, no fire can exist. Eventually, they might start guessing that Subaru-sama is actually a girl. That…is something I have to avoid at all costs. If people find out that she’s a girl, she’ll be forced to quit as Suzutsuki’s butler…!

“……!”

Through careful consideration, at the limit of my possibilities, I decided on a certain plan. Just like a certain rich lady, I would just blurt out nonsense. In order to protect the secret of my friend, I made a decision.

“…Alright, I’ll be honest with you. Just as you said, Konoe and I are in that kind of relationship!”

“I-I knew it! So the rumours were true! So, wait, you are…”

“…! That’s right! I’m gay! I love BL! Something bad about that!?”

“N-No, of course not…”

“Then don’t dig so deep into my interests!”

“Urk…S-Sorry. But, you should just be honest with it.”

“This late into the game!? What exactly!?”

“That you undoubtedly are into guys.”

“I…I! I loooooooooooove men!!”

June was getting close to the end. The early summer sun shone down mercilessly. At the top of my lungs, I screamed. In all honesty, I was just winging it. I wonder why…the sun is so bright. I feel like I just lost something very important as a man. I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t why I’m apologizing to you, but for now, I’m sorry.

“U-Um, sorry? I didn’t think you’d…I mean, I wasn’t expecting you to be this serious about it. So…let’s calm down, okay?” Usami spoke with a gentle expression, trying to be as nice as possible.

…It hurts. What is this situation. Why am I saying that I’m into guys in front of a female classmate just like this. Alright, this is all to protect Konoe’s secret. No, seriously! Please, believe me! I only like girls, okay!

“But, now you must understand it, right? If you help with my plan, that’s the only way for you. You have to act as my boyfriend. If you don’t, I’ll show this picture to the whole school.”

Are you kidding me?

“Didn’t I tell you? You have no right to decline here.”

Damn it, this woman really has no good part in her soul. Going out with her, even if it’s just acting, is dangerous. In the worst case scenario, she might find out about my gynophobia…

“Are you still hesitating? Or, are you scared of going out with a girl? I really didn’t think you’d be that of a chicken bastard.”

“Wha…S-Shut up! Who’s a chicken bastard!?” I desperately tried to deny Usami’s words.

However, she just kept grinning, and continued.

“Hmm, then why don’t you show it to me, Sakamachi Kinjirou.”

“!?”

S-She’s using my full name right now? D-Don’t tell me…did she realize? Only that rich lady before caught on to it, and yet…!

“What’s wrong? Come on, show me, Sakamachikinjirou.”

“……”

“Sakama, Chikin, Jirou.”

“………”

“Will you hurry up already, chicken bastard!”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Unable to bear it, I screamed.

“Hmpf, I didn’t think you were as much of a chicken as your name suggested. You’re that scared to pretend to be dating a girl?”

“Y-You wench…!”

How nasty of a personality do you have? Fine by me. If you’re going that far, I’ll play along.

“Alright. I’ll act as your boyfriend. Only until the school festival is over, of course.” I deeply hated the idea, but I agreed to Usami’s words.

Thinking about it, acting as the lover of a girl doesn’t sound half bad. There’s the danger of her finding out about my secret, but it might help fix my gynophobia as well. Being around a girl must be a plus for me. Probably.

“Alright, negotiations complete, then. This is a secret between the two of us, so remember that?” Her twintails shook, as Usami showed a gleeful smile. “Then, let’s start with names.”
“Names?”

“Exactly. Since we’ll be acting as lovers from now on, we need to call each other with intimate names, or it’ll seem off.”

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“Intimate…What, do you want to be called ‘Usamin’ or something?”

“…Do you want to be kicked again?” She glared at me.

Maybe she has some bad memories with that name? That’s some crazy killing intent you’re throwing my way there. Usami shook her head, and continued.

“Usami is fine. Just go with that from now on.”

“…..Usami, huh.”

“Also, I already came up with a name for you.” She puffed out her chest, and continued. “Stupid Chicken.”

“…Huh?”

“That’ll be your name. Stupid Chicken. What do you think? You’re stupid, and a chicken, so it should be perfect, right?”

…How is that perfect? At least let me call you ‘Usamin’ in return then. I feel like I at least deserve that…

“Please treat me well, Stupid Chicken.” Usami said so, and looked up at me.

She showed an innocent, simply blissful smile.

“…R-Right. Same here, Usami.”

Hm? What’s wrong, why are you blushing like that?”

“N-Nothing at all! Don’t look at me!”

Reflexively, I averted my face from Usami. I couldn’t help but blush because of that. I mean, that’s just not fair. After all, when she smiles, she’s so cute.

“Anyway, let’s go back to the classroom. Third period is about to start. Of course, we’ll be eating lunch together. You’ll be paying. You’re my boyfriend after all.”

“……”

Let me take back that statement. It seems like my naming sense is off. A cute name like ‘Usamin’ definitely doesn’t fit her.

“You damn nasty rabbit.”

“Hm? Did you say something? Stupid Chicken.”

We spit poison at each other, and headed towards the door of the rooftop. Well, all of this will be over after the school festival, so I just have to hold back until then. I let out a sigh, and put my hand on the doorknob.

“—Ah, I forgot to tell you something important.” Usami moved her lips, as she spoke with a reminiscent tone. “Hey, Stupid Chicken. Since you agreed to assist me, you’ll be my boyfriend until the school festival is over. Basically—we’re partners, right. If so, then promise me one thing.” She continued with an oddly serious expression. “Don’t lie to me.”

“…Lie?”

“That’s right. I hate it when people lie to me. That’s why, swear to me. Swear that you definitely won’t lie to me. In return, I won’t lie to you either.”

“…Huh.”

That’s an odd way of phrasing things. I wasn’t planning on lying either way, but she sure does not trust me at all. Even calling us partners is still pretty distant.

“Alright, I got it. But, before that promise, how about you actually have some faith in me? It’s exhausting that you treat me like some stranger. You’ll lose your friends like this.”

How do I say this, despite having a cute face, she sure can be twisted. She’s that cute, so she could just be honest.

“—It’s fine.” Usami muttered with a somewhat dejected tone. “…I don’t have any friends after all.”

“Eh?”

“…No, it’s nothing. Anyway, just don’t lie to me. Then, I’ll put some more trust in you. Okay, Stupid Chicken?” She spoke with conviction in her voice, and yet averted her gaze.

…I’ll take it back one more time. Usami Masamune isn’t just twisted, she’s crazy. You can’t believe in someone unless they don’t lie to you? I feel like she shielded herself and her honesty, and is just careful and wary about everyone around her. Like a rabbit, who can’t trust people…

“What, is there something on my face?”

When I was spacing out, Usami glared at me.

“……”

Well, whatever. We’ll only pretend to date until the school festival is over.

“…Hm?”

Wait a second, am I not forgetting something crucial?

“Hey, does that mean…I have to act as your boyfriend even on the day of the school festival?”

“Huh? Of course. We’ll be walking around then, acting like a couple. That should work just fine against the [Watch over Committee].”

Crap, that’s not good. I just promised Konoe that we’d walk around during the school festival. What should I do about this…I need to find a way out of this, or…

“—Jirou? What are you doing here?”

Suddenly, an alto voice reached my ears. Before I could open up the door of the rooftop, someone got ahead of me.

“K-Konoe!? Why are you here!?”

That’s right, this is Konoe Subaru we’re talking about. That butler had opened the door, observing me and Usami with wide open eyes.

“Why…I mean, you didn’t come back for 2nd period, so I was looking for you. Since you weren’t on the usual rooftop, I came here instead…Jirou, who is that girl next to you?” She turned her translucent eyes at Usami now.

…Oh man, I can tell that this situation will take a dip for the worse really soon…

“Ah…ah…Shu…Shubaru-shama…!” Usami hid behind my back.

She probably didn’t want to meet gazes with Subaru, as her gaze wandered all over the place, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

“H-Hey, say something. Konoe’s looking at us weirdly.”

I called out to Usami, who was still clinging to my sleeve, with a quiet voice, only for her to shake her head.

“No no no no no! What are you talking about, Stupid Chicken! An average human being like me can never talk with Subaru-sama! You do something about this!”

Jeez, her character is completely different from before. Where did that pushy and arrogant attitude from before go? Now she definitely is like a rabbit, hiding in her hole.

“Even if you say that…What am I supposed to do about this?”

“Easy! You just have to tell him that we’re a couple!”

You serious?

“Also, aren’t you and Subaru-sama in that kind of relationship? If so, you need to be honest here. Then he’ll surely understand!”

No no no, we’re not in that kind of relationship, alright. Also, I seriously doubt that Konoe would just simply accept that.

“…What are you two whispering about? Is it that hard to tell me?” Konoe’s dubious gaze pierced my chest.

Subaru-sama was giving me a cold glare like she usually would at school. Damn…no way around this, huh. I don’t care what happens anymore.

“L-Let me introduce you. This girl’s name is Usami Masamune. A-And…we are dating.”

“…Huh?” Konoe’s mouth opened wide in shock, only for her to start laughing. “I’ve heard better jokes. You’re going out with that girl? You of all people, Jirou? I don’t buy that.”

“……”

Hey now, aren’t you being awfully rude with that comment? I figured you wouldn’t buy it immediately, but there’s no need to insult me. Konoe however ignored my displeasure, and instead looked at Usami behind me.

“Come on, tell me the truth. No, spit it out. Who are you to Jirou?”

I heard a faint shriek. I can’t blame her, the current Konoe is absolutely in her Subaru-sama mode—namely a prince that won’t anybody approach her. Her sour expression emitted crazy levels of pressure, to the point where even I felt like shrieking. Why is she this angry, I wonder.

“What’s wrong? Say something. Also…w-why are you clinging to Jirou like that?” The amount of pressure heightened even further.

Is she in a bad mood today? That is some sharp gaze of hers. I only saw her like that last time she went to pick out bread at the school store…Is she bothered about this? Maybe I should say something—is what I thought.

“Um…we actually are dating!” Usami must have hit her limit, and screamed.

“Wha…” This time, Konoe staggered backwards.

Met with this unexpected revelation, Butler-kun directed her gaze over at me again.

“…Jirou? That’s enough joking around. Why is that girl even trying to deceive me?” Her translucent eyes were full with doubt, staring at me.

However.

“I-I’m not deceiving you! This person and I are dating! We promised that we would go on a date during the school festival as well!”

Hearing Usami’s affirmation, Konoe let out a dumbfounded ‘Eh’, as her expression froze up. Following that, her mouth opened and closed in shock, as she directed an anxious face at me.

“…Jirou, is that true? You plan on going on a date with that girl during the school festival?”

“……”

I could only nod in silence. Immediately after that, I felt a sharp pain inside the depths of my chest. But, this is all to protect Konoe’s secret. So that she doesn’t have to quit as a butler—

“…!”

Moments after, an impact shook my body. A full-force body blow—Konoe’s right fist hammered right into my solar plexus.

“I…I was wrong about you…!” A certain alto voice reached my ears, sounding like it was about to cry.

As my body collapsed on the ground, I somehow managed to direct my gaze upwards, only to find Konoe’s dampened eyes glaring down at me.

“Even though you promised…that we would walk around together…You promised it to me…Jirou, you liar.” Konoe muttered while pouting, and stormed off the rooftop.

“…Hey, Stupid Chicken. Are…you okay?” Usami seemed worried about the collapsed me, and came closer.

“Yeah, not a big deal. I told you my body’s pretty sturdy.” I answered, as I laid on the ground with my arms and legs open.

…But, I wonder why. I’ve been sparring with Konoe for a while now. That’s why, a single punch like this shouldn’t be enough to keep me down for the count like this. But, as I was gazing up at the early summer blue sky…I couldn’t muster up the strength to get up for a while.