Mayo Chiki!

Schrödinger Punches Her Way Into The Battle!

Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club is special. When I first heard of it, I was expecting girls passionately knitting scarfs or creating plush toys, anything kind of adorable befitting the image you’d have. However, our school’s handicrafts club is a bit different. This is what I heard from my little sister, but they went on some mountain hunting trip during Golden Week, attempted a survival trip on a deserted island during summer break (not to mention involving human trafficking), some mysterious club-intern ranking…it’s all a mystery, and too far from my initial image.

With all that in mind, I decided to look into this handicrafts club. My investigation would start on the 1st of August—the first day of the second school term. Starting that day, I would go around asking people in my class what they knew. I mean, I might have been better off asking Kureha from the very beginning, but I of course did so. However, the response I got back from Kureha was nonchalant…

‘It’s a very fun club!’

This is the worst. Knowing Kureha, the word ‘fun’ couldn’t be further away from the common understanding of what is fun. After all, she enjoys using me as a punching bag every single day. If she says ‘it’s fun’, then I’m terrified. Of course, I went to ask the other handicrafts club member I knew, namely Masamune.

‘Stupid chicken, there are things you are better off not knowing.’

That’s even more scary! Why does this sound like some horror plot? Even after that, Masamune would not tell me anything regarding the club or its activities. Apparently she’s suffering from a lot of trauma in that regard. Since I didn’t get any valid information from my little sister and friend regarding this club, I instead chose to ask around my friends and other sources. For now, this is what I found out.

The major club activities of Rouran Academy’s handicraft club…seems to be textile arts. I mean, I know, it sounds unbelievable. All the members are girls. In their clubroom, they would create plush toys, drink tea and eat snacks, and do other sorts of girly stuff. Not to mention these seem to be the major club activities. But from what I heard, they also have some other business going on in the shadows. Apparently, they resolve problems that are out of the student council’s reach, acting as a troubleshooter, or accept requests as long as there’s a reward, going around crushing other karate or judo dojos…So are they like some mafia?

That’s just way too eccentric. And honestly speaking, it’s crazy. So, when I asked a clear question…

‘In the end, what even is our handicrafts club?’

The answer I got back was always the same.

‘No clue.’

It’s just laughable. In the end, no matter who I asked, I got no proper response back. It’s almost like an urban legend at this point. Everything I told you just now might be rumours made up by the students themselves for all I know. However, there’s one thing I understood. It’s the only information that is solid evidence regarding the handicrafts club. This was added information from all the people I asked.

‘No clue. However—make sure not to get the club vice president angry.’

It seems like the vice president is a dangerous individual. From what I remember about Kureha’s stories, she’s a third-year. And, when I heard about the entire club-intern ranking during the summer festival—this very club vice president turned out to be the top rank of the club. She’s the strongest at this academy, the top ranker at the leading force of this messed up handicrafts club. But…what was her name again. I think it was—

“Good morning, Jirou!”

On the 9th of September, we were about one week away from the first big event of the second school term—the sports festival. After being woken up by my little sister aggressively as usual, I reached the school gate, and was greeted by this clear alto voice. Standing there was a girl wearing a uniform different from the general student body. She possessed bright and glittering hair, with a slender figure. She is also the cross-dressing butler of this school’s board chairman’s daughter Suzutsuki Kanade—Konoe Subaru. She seemed quite restless, as she greeted me.

“………”

…What’s going on? What is this awkward attitude towards me? Normally she’d be cold and indifferent, but this is a different level. To put it precisely, Konoe has been starting to act weird since the middle of summer break. It was right around the time of the summer festival. During summer break, she mentioned some summer cold, but it’s hard to believe that she still hasn’t recovered from this.

“…See, this is what I was talking about.”

As I was thinking that, Konoe took out a pink wrapping from her back, and forcefully pushed it onto me—It was a lunch box. No doubt about it, there was a lunch box inside there. If this was happening inside a company, I’d be told something along the lines of ‘Ah, chief, another lunch box by your devoted wife?’. No, she’s not my devoted wife.

“Yup, thanks~” I gave my thanks, and accepted the object.

On the inside however, I was terrified. It’s a well-known fact (at least for me) that Konoe isn’t very good at cooking, to be polite. On that final day of summer break where we cooked together in the kitchen, it almost turned into a fire pit. This is like I made it through the main area but a mimic was waiting for me.

“I sure didn’t expect you to send me that mail, Konoe. What made you want to make a lunch box for me?”

“Urk…I-I mean, you don’t have much money, right?”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

Last summer break, I pretty much used up all of my allowance and fortune to buy a birthday present for my little sister. Frankly speaking, I was desperately trying to save money. But, it was a necessary investment. With a bit of money, another year of living was guaranteed for me. As a result of this, I’m a poor man now. I did get my salary from that one day I worked at that cafe with Masamune, but that was used for a live concert DVD of one of my favorite bands, and that money was gone immediately.

That’s why I thought of living off rice balls or without any lunch to begin with, but that’s when Konoe’s mail came in.

“Hmpf, just to let you know, but it’s not anything crazy. I just decided to make my own lunch starting from the second school term.”

“Even Suzutsuki’s share?”

“This will be taken care of by a professional chef cook. That’s why, only my own share.”

“Well, I guess making it for one or two people might not change much, I guess. But, why’d you suddenly decide to make your own lunch?”

“T-That’s…I figured I couldn’t stay like this, unable to cook, forever! I have my own pride as a butler!”

“But, weren’t you prohibited from entering your residence’s kitchen?”

“It’s fine, I went through the negotiations.”

“Negotiations?”

“Yep. I’m allowed to as long as it’s with the young lady.”

“………”

Doesn’t that make you plenty of a failure as a butler already? Your own master is being forced to tag along with you, like you’re some dog on a leash. I can’t even tell who’s the servant anymore.

“Also, getting that mail from you sure surprised me.”

“Eh?” Konoe looked at me in shock.

“I’m talking about the mail you sent me. That was our first exchange, right?”

We exchanged addresses a while back, but we never had any real reason to write each other mails. Not to mention…

“Are you possibly not used to typing on a phone?”

“W-Why would you think that?”

“I mean…it took a bit of time until you responded.”

Well, it’s actually not just a bit. One mail would take around one hour, despite it only saying ‘Got it’ or ‘What’s your favorite side dish?’, mostly simple stuff. I can only see this as her not being used to it.

“Hmpf…I can’t help it, this was the first time we exchanged mails like that.” Konoe muttered with a voice about to disappear.

Ahhh, so she really wasn’t used to it. Can’t be helped then. Well, I can see her being bad with technology, so no offense taken.

“Either way, thanks a bunch. This’ll save me money and also from starving.”

“It wasn’t just a bother?”

“Of course not, I’m happy.”

“I-I see…glad to hear that.”

“Oh yeah, let’s eat it together later.”

If I had to choose, the rooftop would probably be the best. Not to mention that ever since the second term started, we didn’t really get any chance to eat lunch together. During the first term, Konoe would invite me whenever and wherever. That’s why I invited her fairly nonchalantly, to which…

“!? N-No!”

For some reason, Konoe seemed pretty fierceful in that rejection.

“Did you have other plans?”

“No, I’m not busy or anything…”

“Then why?”

“T-That’s…!”

“That’s?”

“Because you said something that isn’t in the manual!”

“Manual?”

“~~~!”

When I repeated that dubious word, Konoe’s gaze wandered all over the place, as she grew silent….Huh? Is she avoiding me yet again? Ahh, that sucks. Maybe I really did something to make her hate me? Also, what manual is she even talking about?

“…Hm.”

Either way, this situation isn’t exactly comfortable to live through. The other students around us already started whispering to themselves. That’s Subaru-sama for you, she naturally gathers attention everywhere. Even more so here at the school gate. At this rate, the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] might soon be spreading rumours again.

“Good morning, Jirou-kun.”

There, almost like she had waited for this timing, Suzutsuki spoke up with a dignified voice. Today yet again, she wore a special uniform, different from the average one of our academy. While her black twintails shook, she approached the two of us.

“Young lady!”

The second Konoe saw her master approaching, she ran towards her like a lost child having just been reunited with her mother.

“That’s not good enough, Subaru. You need to do it exactly as I told you to.”

“M-My apologies…”

The two looked at each other, whispering. It was obvious they didn’t want me to hear the contents of their conversation.

“……”

Of course, I tried to secretly listen in. Can’t blame me for being curious, you know? My instincts were telling me that this rich lady was up to no good. Knowing her, she is probably always watching over my exchanges with Konoe. It wouldn’t be too surprising if she’s related to Konoe’s recently odd behaviour. With these thoughts, I carefully approached the two.

“Calm down. Why are you panicking like this? You properly gave him the lunch box, didn’t you.”

“…Yes…somewhat.”

“Isn’t that great then?”

“…B-But…!”

“But?”

“Well…Jirou suddenly…said we should eat lunch together…!”

“…Hmmm.”

“W-W-W-What should I do? This development wasn’t part of your manual…”

“Isn’t it fine? Why not eat together with him?”

“Eh!?”

“Yup, that way is definitely better. You might think it’s too fast for the two of you to eat together, but we’re changing the manual.”

“No way…!”

“Subaru, you should be going on the offensive here, right?”

“Urk…”

“You can’t be embarrassed. This is all to push the plan forward.”

“Urk…But…”

It seemed like Konoe was hesitating because of Suzutsuki’s words…Heh, I get it now. Konoe’s awkward attitude, Suzutsuki constantly asking about us, the conversation just now, and the lunch box…Combining these four factors, the answer is apparent. Indeed, everything is just…

“…A prank, huh.” I muttered the conclusion I came up with.

This is probably some plot to set me up for a prank, another mischief from this rich lady. Judging from her attitude and the conversation just now, this lunch box is related to her plot 100%. The reason Konoe is so hesitant and acting awkward is probably because she was forced to go along with this plan. Still, why? She went out of her way to make a manual for this? Is that lunch box some kind of timebomb?

“Ji…Jirou.”

Right as I put my ears to the lunch box, trying to pick up any possible ticking, Konoe approached me. Of course, her attitude hadn’t changed from before, and she was acting as awkward as ever.

“L…Let’s…e-e-e-eat lunch together…!”

“………”

Oh lord help me. The smell of danger is tickling my nose. I really need to get rid of this lunch box as quickly as possible, but that won’t do with Konoe around…

“Sorry, Konoe, I just remembered, but I actually planned to eat lunch together with someone else, so we’ll have to do this another time.”

“!?”

When I declined Konoe’s invitation, she apparently received a huge shock, as she staggered backwards. On top of that, I could see her soul escape her mouth.

“Ah…ahaha, is that so…”

“Y-Yeah, sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize! Not at all! I don’t mind! I would never mind!”

“R-Really?”

“Yup! It’s fine! We’ll eat lunch together another time!” Konoe let out an awkward laugh that didn’t fit the atmosphere at all.

Ah, my heart…this guilt…I can’t…

“What a shame, Subaru.” Suzutsuki gently tapped Konoe on the shoulder. “But, isn’t this good enough? You can eat together another time.”

“…Yes, you’re right…” Konoe blushed ever so slightly, showing a happy smile.

Why do you look so happy now? I thought this was just a means of pranking me.

“Also, let’s prepare something even more amazing to surprise him next time.”

“Something amazing…?”

Master and butler were talking to each other again. Suzutsuki said ‘For example…’ and approached Konoe’s ears. In doing so, Konoe’s face turned beet red, and she started stuttering.

“I-I can’t do that, young lady! That’s way too embarrassing!”

Embarrassing!?

“Really? I’m sure Jirou-kun would become more honest with himself if you did that.”

Become more honest!? No, I’m just terrified now! What pranks are you plotting!?

“But, that’s way too difficult…”

“It’s fine, everything will work out. Ahh, I can’t wait.”

“………”

Help me, God. Apparently I’ll be forced into something embarrassing and thus become more honest the next time Konoe and I eat lunch together. Are they going to use some truth serum on me? What horrible torture. Hmm, I think it’d be best if I immediately destroyed their plan.

“Hey, Konoe.” I called out to her in a quiet voice so that Suzutsuki wouldn’t be able to hear us.

Of course, my goal was to make her become my ally.

“Hm? What is it? Why are you whispering like that?”

“The thing is, you two talked about some manual just now, right?” I brought it up with no hesitation.

In response, Konoe’s mouth opened in shock.

“Wha…You heard…”

“Let me be straight with you here. I know about your plan.”

“~~~! Stop lying! There’s no way you figured it out this easily!”

“No, it was pretty easy to see through. See, about this lunch box for example.”

“W-Well, I really made that with this intent…S-So you know about everything? And…about my feelings too?”

“Yep.”

“~~~!”

In the face of my direct answer, Konoe bit her lip.

“I-I see…So then…what do you think?”

“What do I think? About what?”

“Now that you know of my feelings…how do you feel about them…”

“Hmm, it’s a bit of a bother, not gonna lie.”

“!?” Konoe’s face froze up like all her cells stopped working entirely, and staggered backwards.

Why are you so shocked about that? I just don’t like being pranked, is all.

“I see…I get it…”

“H-Hey, Konoe, you okay?”

“Ahaha…I’m fine, really.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. By the way, Jirou, do you know how to get to the sea of trees at Mt. Fuji?”

“Why are you asking me that!?”

“I just want to be alone for a while.”

“Don’t do something so dangerous, you idiot! Why are you so shocked to hear my answer!?”

“T-That’s…”

“It’s not that big of a deal, right?”

“…!? Well, it’s very important for me!”

“Important…”

“It literally involved my future life, so of course it is…!”

“Why are you suddenly jumping into all these heavy topics?!”

Damn it! I didn’t think Konoe was this serious about a simple prank! You don’t need to break out in tears like that!

“You two really love drifting apart like this, don’t you.” There, Suzutsuki muttered these words, presumably having listened to our conversation.

What’s with her? Why does she look like she perfectly understands the situation? Why does she sigh like that?

“Suzutsuki, what is this about?” I called out to her in a quiet voice.

“You best be thankful to me. I’ll clear up Subaru’s misunderstanding later.”

“Misunderstanding? What’s there to misunderstand about you guys planning a prank?”

“So you really thought of it as a prank, huh.”

“It’s not? You talked about a ‘plan’ and ‘manual’ after all, so you are trying to play more mischief, right?”

“…Well, you’re right. I was thinking about some things.”

To my surprise, Suzutsuki gave me an honest response. Weird, normally she’d come up with some nonsense to talk her way out of this. Also, what is going on? Even her attitude suddenly feels so odd compared to before, almost like with Konoe…

“Now, let’s go. We’ll end up late to class otherwise, Subaru.”

Almost like this was some attempt of running away, Suzutsuki called out to Konoe, and walked towards the school building……Well, whatever. Better than her making up some nonsense again. I’m worried because she’s apparently feeling a bit down, but maybe that’s just her mood right now.

“Young lady…” A listless Konoe swiftly walked after Suzutsuki, and I followed after.

Of course, it’s not like this is me stalking two cute girls or anything. Our destination is simply the same classroom. Suzutsuki said that she would end up late at this rate, but there’s still some time until the beginning of the first period. As proof of that, many students were still wearing their gym clothes. They were probably practicing for the sports festival. After all, this year’s sports festival is pretty crazy.

In other words, the sports festival execution committee president this year seems to be a bit of a crazy person, which is why the events this year will be far more over the top than before. For example, the main event of the morning will be the…three-legged scavenger hunt bread-snatching race. No matter how you look at it, he’s just putting stuff together to forcefully create something new.

On a side note, the two who will participate in this chanpuru1 dish-like event from our class will be none other than Suzutsuki and Konoe. Apparently, Suzutsuki was the one who wanted things to be this way, but I really don’t see how you could be excited for an event like that.

With these thoughts in mind, we walked through the noisy courtyard, onwards into the school building, and then towards our classroom. This might be obvious, but even if this is generally an exciting event, not all classes feel equally passionate. When there’s classes who go out of their way to practice early in the morning, then there’s those who do the exact opposite…and of course, my class belongs to the latter. Or rather, many of those guys are still not over the fact that summer break ended, and are just lounging in the classroom listless as can be.

“Yawwwwn…”

After splitting up with Konoe and Suzutsuki, I sat down on my own seat, and let out a flashy yawn. As you can see, I also am still a bit drowsy from the summer break. Personally, I can’t really get into the groove.

“Well, that’ll change eventually.”

At the very least, I should be able to flip that switch inside of me once the sports festival rolls around. Then again, there’s so many melancholic and depressing events recently. The yen losing value, global warming, Kureha’s grip strength finally passing 60kg. Especially the last point is directly influencing my individual HP.

“Yo, Jirou, how are we doing? You sure seem out of steam today.”

As I was enjoying the scenery outside the window, someone sat down on the seat next to me.

It was a sporty male student…Huh? Who’s that guy again.

“Hey, what’s that stupid look for? You forgot about me or something?”

“…Ah, Kurose.”

He’s Kurose Yamato. Right now he’s a drummer in the music club, but we’ve known each other since middle school. To think I’d forget about him. Must be because of the summer break, I feel like we haven’t seen each other in a while.

“Don’t space out like that, you got someone calling for you.”

“Someone calling for me?”

“Yup, a first-year girl is waiting outside the classroom.”

“Kureha?”

“Nope, not your little sister. She’s pretty…big…and yeah, she’s wearing cat ears.”

“……”

This is an emergency situation. There’s only one person that would fit this description.

“Jirouuuu, be honest with me. That your girlfriend?”

“As if, you moron. That’s definitely not it.”

“Tsk, boring.”

“What about you then? Got anything to tell me that happened over summer break?”

“Don’t ask, I’m seriously gonna cry.” Kurose clapped his hands together with some mysterious ‘Amen’ as he looked up at the sky.

You’re not Christian, are you? Why are you praying to God now. Or, are you praying to John Lennon because you’re part of the music club? John must be shocked to hear that up in heaven.

“Now, hurry up. Should be fine as long as she’s not your little sis, right? Better a normal person than her, you say.”

“Well, if the other person is normal, I guess.”

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Never met any person who’s more out of the norm than your little sister, you know.”

“In a way, she’s probably more dangerous than Kureha…”

When meeting Kureha, I always have to mentally prepare myself to be used as a punching bag, but I need different determination if I want to meet the girl in question. I would probably do better with some chill pills.

“Haha! That’s crazy! Now I wanna get a good look at her again!” Kurose tapped me on the back, as he laughed.

He thinks this isn’t any of his problems. You can’t compare this to just simply looking at the pandas in the zoo, alright.

“…Jeez.” I let out a sigh, and headed to the hallway.

You might think I decided pretty quickly, but it’s better than being judged inside the classroom. It’d just destroy my image if I made a girl wait. Naturally, nobody knows that I’m about to meet up with a glasses junkie.

“Ah, Senpai, Nakuru was waiting for quite some time.”

Right after opening the door and stepping outside, I was greeted like that. Just as Kurose informed me, she had cat ears growing from her head, with a well-endowed body, glittering long hair, and facial features that were complemented by her glasses—Narumi Nakuru.

She is the second rank in Rouran Academy’s handicraft club, and the president of the [Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze] committee. Basically, she enjoys any kind of BL material that involves me and Konoe. She’s probably the second person after Suzutsuki that I’m bad at dealing with.

“Hmpf, you don’t need to make such a bothersome face, Senpai. Nakuru has been waiting this entire time.”

She must have seen my facial color change to blue, because Nakuru showed a bothered pout.

“This entire time…wasn’t that just two minutes tops?”

“Nakuru calls this a neglecting roleplay.”

“Easy version?”

“Nakuru’s heart was racing.”

“You’re grossing me out, so stop.”

“But, two minutes is just fine. If you had taken three minutes, Nakuru probably wouldn’t have been able to bear it.”

“You can’t even wait three minutes?”

“Leaving that aside, is that sporty person who greeted Nakuru just now your friend, Senpai?”

“Kurose? Yes, we’ve been on good terms since middle school.”

“Good terms!?”

“Why are you so shocked about that!”

“I mean, on good terms since middle school…Kyaaa!”

“Alright, calm down you damn glasses junkie. Whatever you’re thinking is the case right now definitely is not the truth.”

“But, you share an erotic relationship, right?”

“Please, just listen to me.”

“Makes sense why he gave off the same scent as Senpai.”

“Alright, I’m reserving an appointment at an otolaryngologist for you right now!”

Might be some new type of hay fever. I heard it can influence your brain and thinking process, but to think I would see an example of that.

“Still, it’s been a while since we met, huh.”

When was the last time? Since we didn’t run into each other after the second term started, it was probably at that park during summer break. And, we ended up separating at a weird point.

“…Yes, it has been. After what happened at that park…Nakuru was thinking about lots of things, so it was hard to meet you…”

For some reason, Nakuru said these words with faintly reddened cheeks, almost like she felt embarrassed. She was thinking abouts lots of things? Better not be some new material for your BL novel, I swear. Save me, really. Leave these dangerous things and ideas only in your head, will you. You’ll cause the apocalypse if you carelessly leak any of that.

“So, what do you want, coming all the way out here?” I asked her with the underlying tone of ‘Go back already’.

That being said, since she came to an upperclassman’s room, I figured that probably wouldn’t happen so easily for me.

“The thing is…” Nakuru showed an oddly serious expression, and continued her words. “Please run away together with Nakuru.”

…Ahh, here it is. I somehow felt I knew this would happen. When she says run away, knowing who she is and what she does, there can only be one reason why she would tell me that.

“…Nakuru.” I grew about as serious as she did, and spoke up. “Please, turn yourself in.”

“………What?”

“You’re saying that the day had come for you to be unable to restrain yourself and your desires, so you finally committed a crime, right? That’s why you want me to run away together with you.”

“…Senpai, you’re saying some very rude things right now…Wait, why are you suddenly taking out your phone!”

“I need to report this.”

“To the 110!?”

“No, 119. Maybe with a bit of surgery, you can still be saved.”

“Surgery!? Where!?”

“Your brain of course.”

“Why!? There’s absolutely no problem with Nakuru’s brain.”

“Your brain’s the problem?”

“Don’t twist Nakuru’s words!”

“Be honest with me, what did you do? Peeking into the men’s public bath? Stole glasses? Did the police already put you on a wanted list?”

“Urk…so cruel. Even Nakuru wouldn’t commit a crime like that!”

“Eh, seriously?”

“Don’t act so surprised! The worst Nakuru has done is stalking Senpai this past week!”

“That is a proper and offensive crime in the world I come from, okay! Don’t just proudly declare that!”

That is plenty of proof that would get you arrested, you know that right. Also, why are you stalking me for an entire week? Is that why I was feeling gazes all the time?

“Isn’t it fine? It was a sweet prank of a maiden.”

“Don’t play it off as a prank.”

“Urk…Then, at least forgive me as a clumsy girl.”

“Clumsy girl?”

“If you’d like, Nakuru can show her how clumsy she can be.”

“…Very well, show it to me.”

“Roger. Then, Nakuru will now proceed to kill what should otherwise be safe.”

“You plan on throwing yourself off the building, right!? Also, why do you immediately jump to killing!? What do you plan on killing!?”

“Of course, the atmosphere here.”

“The atmosphere here is already dead!”

The one who committed that crime was none other than you as well. You did it ten times over. If not, I’d be screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Senpai, don’t look at Nakuru like a dead fish.”

“You were the one who killed my eyes too.”

“You still keep that joke going! Just listen to Nakuru! She came here to warn you, you know!?”

“…Warn?”

The heck is up with that? Why would she of all people do that? If anything, I should warn you. Specifically about your actions during the day.

“Let Nakuru be straight with you. Senpai, you are being targeted.”

“Huh?”

“That’s why, please run away. If not…that person will come.”

“……”

I mean, you can say it like that, but I still don’t get it. Someone is targeting me? That sounds like some weird battle manga. I was considering calling 119, but I didn’t expect Nakuru’s head to be messed up to such an extent. She lost sight of reality and fiction. Also, that person she mentioned…

“Are you that Sakamachi Kinjirou, huh?”

There, a somewhat distinct voice reverberated inside the hallway. It sounded like an anime character’s voice that only exists in the 2D world. Turning towards that voice, I was greeted by a small girl. For some reason, she held a small plush toy cat with a fierce gaze in her hand. She had a strong look in her eyes, and below her skirt she wore sporty spats. Can’t forget about her shining silver hair…

“Also…so small.” I muttered my honest impressions.

She was incredibly small. That’s probably how you would put it into words. She might even be smaller than Kureha. Almost like a doll, you know. Seeing that I don’t remember her face, she probably isn’t a second-year. From her looks, probably a first-year? But, why does she know my name?

“Senpai, dodge!”

Maybe because I was thinking unnecessary things, I couldn’t react in time when I heard Nakuru’s words. In a moment, the girl closed the distance between the two of us, and…

“!?”

A gut punch slammed right into my gut, sending my entire body flying.

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Gah…!?”

With a crushing sound, my back slammed against the door, and my body clapped. In my sight, I saw the familiar ceiling of the classroom. I heard the faint muttering of my classmates.

“……!”

…No, that’s not important.

“Urk…Ah…”

…I can’t get up. Despite being thoroughly trained by Kureha and Mom all these years, I found myself unable to stand. The best I could do was breathe. D-Don’t joke with me, her body is so small, and yet she has so much power…

“…Hehehe.” There, the girl looked down at me “Huh, for being her big bro, you sure are weak.”

“…Wha?”

Big bro? That sounded familiar. The other person who argued about this was…Usami Masamune. Basically, she is…

“Onee-chan!”

I heard a panicking voice. The owner of this voice was none other than Narumi Nakuru, who…Wait, Onee-chan? That means, she is…

“Y-You are…” I tried to desperately form my words.

Immediately after, the girl Nakuru called ‘Onee-chan!’ spoke up.

“Oh yeah, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” She muttered. “Remember it well, Sakamachi Kinjirou. I am the top-ranking student of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club, and the club vice president—Narumi Schrödinger2!”

“……”

That is one hell of a name. And that is also the first impression I received of Nakuru’s small older sister.

“Y-Y-Y-Y-You bastard! You thought of me as ‘small’ again, right!?”

“Ugh…”

She’s having some weird misunderstanding. I was just thinking how impactful her name is. However, she fully ignored my thoughts, and instead started blushing while complaining. And then, she started running towards me.

“Eat this!”

She winded up a soccer free kick. Naturally, I was the target of that.

“Oooooaaah!?”

Although that action took me by surprise, I somehow managed to evade this attack while on the ground. Immediately after, a loud sound rang out, with something falling over on the floor. It was a desk. In my stead, a solid wooden desk was shot into the corner of the room like the ball during a free kick…Hey hey hey, what if there were still some workbooks in there? Just how much strength does she have despite having such a small body?

“Damn it…everybody is just making fun of me…I’m still in the middle of my growth spurt, so I’m not small at all!”

The girl clearly hadn’t vented out her anger yet, as she was still fuming. It seems like she was suffering from a complex about her height. Then again, I really can’t blame her. With her size, it wouldn’t be too hard to mistake her for a grade school girl.

“Senpai!”

There, Nakuru came running towards me.

“…Nakuru, explain this. Who is this excessively strong kiddo.”

“Kiddo…Um, that person is Nakuru’s older sister.”

Seriously? They don’t resemble each other in the slightest. Not to mention that the height difference is the opposite. As I was left bewildered however, the classmates inside the classroom all started to catch attention to our visitor.

“Waaah, look at her! It’s Schrödinger-san!”

“Why’s Schrö-senpai here?”

“Also, she’s so tiny!”

“Shhh! You want her to bite you!?”

…Is she actually pretty famous? They’re acting like they ran into a wild boar or something.

“You haven’t heard? Onee-chan is pretty famous with a good portion of students, who call her ‘Schrödinger-san’ or ‘Schrö-senpai’, you know.”

“A good portion of students?”

“Basically, the third-years and those who are in sports-related clubs. Onee-chan is famous for crushing the various clubs after all.”

“Crushing…”

“Track-and-field, judo, kendo, soccer…and so forth. From what Nakuru heard, she battled the greater majority of all clubs before. Of course, in the speciality of the club.”

“……”

Alright alright alright. For now, I understand that your older sis was the one who sent me flying. With what she did to that desk, and the fact that she’s in the handicrafts club explains a lot, not to mention as the vice club president.

“So, what does the mighty Schrödinger-san want with me?”

“T-That’s…”

Nakuru suddenly started blushing after hearing my question. Is it some embarrassing reason? She didn’t come here to confess, right? Sorry, but I’m not into lolis. I have one small kiddo that’s too strong for her own good.

“Heh, let me tell you.”

Schrö-senpai must have heard our conversation, as she puffed out her chest, and exclaimed with a loud voice to pass the classroom.

“You laid your hands on my little sister!”

“……”

Now hold the phone. With little sister, is she referring to this glasses junkie? When did I ever do such a thing? I call defamation, slander! I’d prefer it if you didn’t say nonsense that would evoke misunderstandings with my classmates.

“Don’t play dumb, I already looked into it.” Schrö-senpai said, brimming with confidence. “I heard everything from Nakuru. You bastard…you went on a date with her during the last summer break, right?”

“!”

“Not to mention that you had her feed you with her homemade lunch box.”

“………”

“Even sharing a…p-p-p-passionate embrace in broad daylight!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”

She’s totally got the wrong idea about everything! It’s true that I went on a date with Nakuru in a public park before, and she did make a lunch box for me, followed up by a passionate one-sided hug, but all of these things had proper reasons to them.

“Onee-chan! Please listen to Nakuru!” Nakuru stood up, protesting.

Yeah, tell her, glasses junkie! There was a proper reason for that date, right! In reality…

“That date was compensated dating!”

“Why compensated dating now?!” I threw in an immediate retort.

“Eh? Nakuru isn’t wrong, right? Back then, Nakuru asked Senpai to go on a date with her, like a part-time job.”

“You’re not wrong, but still!”

“Nakuru even gave you compensation.”

“It wasn’t that crazy of a compensation now, was it?!”

“N-No way! …Nakuru gave you something so important that can’t even be compared to money, and yet you act like it was nothing…”

“Don’t phrase it that way! People will definitely get the wrong idea, alright!?”

That something so important were glasses! Glasses you hear me!? Ahh, what a blunder. I should have known that this glasses junkie would just make things worse. Naturally, whispering began between my female classmates, who heard about this.

“Compensated dating…”

“Not to mention that the girl had to pay…”

“Also, what is this something important she mentioned…”

“Human trash, that guy.”

At the same time, the boys weren’t much better.

“Waah, he really did it.”

“Was just a matter of time to be honest.”

“I won’t forgive him! Being lovey-dovey with a big-breasted cat-eared underclassman!”

Compared to the girls, their voices were rather filled with jealousy and killing intent more than actual disgust. This is a nightmare, I’ll lose my right as a human being at this rate.

…”You sure have guts, laying your hands on my little sister.”

And then, there was the person fuming with anger—Narumi Schrödinger. She’s the top rank of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club, as well as the vice club president. Even Kureha said that she was pretty amazing, right.

“…Senpai, please run.” Nakuru muttered with an anxious voice. “Onee-chan might not be as well-versed in battle techniques like Kureha-chan or Usami-senpai, but…”

“…But?”

“She’s strong. In the club ranking tournament that happened this spring, she fought Kureha-chan head-on and won.”

“……”

“You should know from that punch just now, right? Onee-chan is different from other people. Power, speed, senses, she’s towering above all of these individual abilities as the absolute leader. That’s why…Hurry and run—”

Before she could finish her words, Narumi Schrödinger started running.

“This time I won’t miss!” She shouted with as much of an anime voice as before.

She took the straight line directly towards me, all to knock me out in a single strike.

“Get away!” I reflexively pushed away Nakuru with one hand.

Nakuru let out a shocked ‘Kya!?’ as she fell backwards. This is better than her getting wrapped up in the upcoming slaughter.

“Urk…”

This is bad. Seriously bad. Just as Nakuru said, she’s probably much stronger than the little monster of my family. Not to mention that she never grew rampant like this.

“Daaaaah!”

Dash and attack was the idea behind Schrö-senpai’s movement, her fist about to smash right into me at high speed.

“You’re annoying.” There, I heard a familiar alto voice.

That wasn’t the end either. Schrö-senpai let out a baffled ‘Wha!?’, and flew backwards. She was hit by a beautiful drop kick. It landed a clean hit on Schrö-senpai, sending her flying into the corner of the classroom.

“You okay, Jirou?”

“K-Konoe…”

That’s right, this is Konoe Subaru, who sent Schrö-senpai flying like it was nothing.

“W-Why…”

“Hm? That drop kick just now? I learned about this from Kureha-chan. We often train together, right? And, I properly held back.”

“That’s not what I meant! Why…did you save me?”

“Don’t worry about it. That misunderstanding was resolved.”

“Misunderstanding?”

“Yep. Not to mention, you are…my precious…!” Konoe spoke that far, only to suddenly grow quiet again.

Damn it, so she couldn’t abandon her best friend? I’m so pathetic, being saved by a girl. But…right now, we can only team up. That Narumi Schrödinger is totally out of my league. If we can make this a two versus one, then…

“Not to mention that I wanted to ask you something, Jirou.”

“Something you wanted to ask?”

“Yeah. Just now, you talked about going on a date with Nakuru-chan.”

“………”

“Not to mention that she fed you with some homemade lunch, you exchanged a passionate hug, and you even stole something important from Nakuru-chan.”

“…A-Ahaha, calm down, Konoe-san. Why are your eyes suddenly so scary?”

I take back what I said. That butler is probably planning to finish me together with Schrö-senpai. Konoe’s embarrassed expression vanished in an instant, and now she looked like a brown bear aiming at a salmon, glaring at me. Ahhh, I need to prove my innocence quickly!

“Man, that surprised me~” That familiar anime voice spoke up again.

Turning my gaze towards there, Narumi Schrödinger had already stood up. She didn’t seem to have taken that much damage, probably because Konoe held back after all.

“…Well, whatever. First, I need to take care of her.” Konoe said, and tore her gaze away from me, directing it over at Schrö-senpai.

“Hello there, Subaru-sama. That was a great kick just now.”

“You know me?”

“Of course I do. Don’t think there’s any student at this school who doesn’t, to be honest. Also, I heard a lot about you from my little sister.”

“A lot?”

“Every single day, as soon as she gets home, it’s all about you and that Sakamachi Kinjirou over there.”

“Hmmm.”

“But, don’t get the wrong idea. I most definitely wasn’t thinking ‘Enough about that, just play with Onee-chan!’, okay.”

“If you want her to play with you, then you could just be honest, you know.”

“…!? I-I-I-I told you you’re wrong, okay! Don’t try to guess what I feel, just because you look like a girl!”

“W-What does my face have to do with anything!? Look at you being so tiny!”

“Don’t want to hear that from Mr. Girly-face!”

“Again, my face doesn’t have anything to do with this!”

Sparks flew between the two. I wonder why, but these two might be fairly similar. They are both thickheaded, and childish all the same.

“Also, I’m a third-year, you know? Where’s your respect for your upperclassman?”

“Let me be honest, you don’t seem older at all.”

“S-Shut up! I’m still growing, so just you wait!”

“I feel like your growth has stopped entirely?”

“Hmpf, what a shame, but there were actually some results this year!”

“Oh, you shrunk?”

“I sure didn’t!”

“Then, how much did you grow?”

“Urk…Two millimeters…”

“Heh.”

“Don’t laugh!! It’s fine since I grew, right!? Better than having a girly face! Also, you actually look like a girl! You even smell like one!”

“…! Stop it already! Don’t come any closer! Stop sniffing me!”

“Hmmmm? Don’t tell me, were you aware of it?”

“Y-You…!”

“Ah! Stop, what are you doing!”

Out of rage, Konoe grabbed Schrö-senpai’s cheeks, pulling on them. Schrö-senpai joined in and did the same to Konoe…

“……”

Yeah, they’re children. No talking around it.

“Damn it! You really made me angry!” Schrö-senpai must have blown a fuse, as she stepped away from Konoe momentarily. “I heard from Kureha. You won against her, didn’t you?”

“Oh yeah, you were the vice president of the handicrafts club, right.”

“On top of that, I’m the top-ranker of the club. Nobody is stronger than me.”

“Yet you’re only the vice president.”

“Shut up! That’s a forbidden comment! I really wanted to be the club president after all! But, she made that club, so I can’t…” Schrö-senpai said, pouting. “Ahh, whatever! I’ll ignore the fact that you’re a boy for now! Two versus one is a good handicap, so come at me.”

“…Hmpf.”

In the face of these words that sounded directly like provocation, Konoe showed a bothered expression, and glanced over at me. What should we do? Any half-baked persuasion won’t work. If so, then there’s only one option, namely going 2v1.

“………”

No, that’s not right. I’m the one who started this after all.

“It’s fine. Step back, Konoe.”

“Wha…Jirou!?”

“Ohh? Color me surprised. I don’t dislike your guts!” Schrö-senpai laughed like an anime villain.

…Fight’s on, shrimp. I don’t know my chances here, but I’m still the oldest son of the Sakamachi family, and I wasn’t raised to run away in the face of a threat. Not to mention…

“……”

Having Konoe protect me, I’d rather die than be such a chicken in front of her. That’s why I’m not stepping down. In one move, I closed the distance between us…

“You can stop, Jirou-kun.”

Right before we clashed, a dignified voice called out to us. It was Suzutsuki Kanade. Despite appearing out of nowhere, she remained as calm as always, as she continued her words.

“Nice to meet you, Narumi-senpai. I’m sorry to interrupt you like this, but I would advise you to cease this fighting right now.”

“Eh? Why? We barely started?”

“That’s right. The gong for the first round might not have rung yet, but the bell for the first period to start will instead. And then, the teacher will come.” Suzutsuki calmly explained. “Say, aren’t you the president of the sports festival execution committee? If you were to cause a problem like this, it might have some influence on the sports festival itself, right? This sports festival is an event important for a lot of students, so you wouldn’t want to ruin it for them, right?”

“Urk…you’re not wrong.” She said. “Alright, guess I’ll pull back for now.” Schrödinger-san relaxed her body.

…That’s Suzutsuki for you. She resolved this chaos with just her words alone. If only Schrö-senpai just stays low after this…

“—But, you know.” She flashed an arrogant grin. “How will we clear up this incident today? I’m not going to forget all of this.”

“…Aren’t you quite selfish, I see.” Suzutsuki let out a sigh. “Then, how about this? I heard about a special event you were planning for the sports festival, correct?”

“Ahh, that? Yeah, it’s something like an exhibition match, but I’m struggling to find participants.”

“Is that so? Then…why don’t you have Jirou-kun and Subaru participate in this event?”

“…!? Young lady!?” Dear Butler-kun was baffled at her master’s words.

Naturally, I felt the same way, but the conversation proceeded without us having any choice to disagree.

“After all, it’s an exhibition match, so you can settle your score there. Of course, you’ll participate too, won’t you. You are Schrödinger-san, the strongest of this entire school after all.”

“—Yep, you’re right with that.” Schrödinger-san smiled like she was looking forward to it.

“Then, if Subaru and Jirou-kun win against you, you’ll forget about this event, right?”

“Fine by me. If I win…I can do whatever I want with Sakamachi Kinjirou, right?”

“Yes, that can’t be helped then.”

“Wha!?”

What is she just nonchalantly agreeing to?

“What should I make him do then? Maybe have him be my slave for a month?” Schrö-senpai started thinking about some dangerous things.

How cruel. I didn’t have any bad intentions when accidentally starting this fight, and now my safety is in danger. I feel like I won’t survive being her slave.

“Then, the decisive battle will happen at the sports festival. I’m not gonna lose, alright. If I lose, I’ll call you ‘Onii-chan’ and be your little sister!”

What an unnecessary declaration of war. After saying these words, she ran through the classroom, opened the window, and jumped outside like it was nothing.

“……”

Um, you do realize we are on the second floor, right? Because of this odd development, the entire classroom stayed quiet. The sudden arrival, and disappearance, of Rouran Academy’s strongest, the vice president of the handicrafts club Narumi Schrödinger-san, sent tremors through our class, almost like a storm.

1 Usually containing vegetables (especially bitter melon), tofu, meat or fish​

2 Normally, i’d write it the English ‘Schroedinger’ way, but the raws of v12 have her name with the German ‘ö’, so I’m keeping it that way

Schrödinger Punches Her Way Into The Battle!

Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club is special. When I first heard of it, I was expecting girls passionately knitting scarfs or creating plush toys, anything kind of adorable befitting the image you’d have. However, our school’s handicrafts club is a bit different. This is what I heard from my little sister, but they went on some mountain hunting trip during Golden Week, attempted a survival trip on a deserted island during summer break (not to mention involving human trafficking), some mysterious club-intern ranking…it’s all a mystery, and too far from my initial image.

With all that in mind, I decided to look into this handicrafts club. My investigation would start on the 1st of August—the first day of the second school term. Starting that day, I would go around asking people in my class what they knew. I mean, I might have been better off asking Kureha from the very beginning, but I of course did so. However, the response I got back from Kureha was nonchalant…

‘It’s a very fun club!’

This is the worst. Knowing Kureha, the word ‘fun’ couldn’t be further away from the common understanding of what is fun. After all, she enjoys using me as a punching bag every single day. If she says ‘it’s fun’, then I’m terrified. Of course, I went to ask the other handicrafts club member I knew, namely Masamune.

‘Stupid chicken, there are things you are better off not knowing.’

That’s even more scary! Why does this sound like some horror plot? Even after that, Masamune would not tell me anything regarding the club or its activities. Apparently she’s suffering from a lot of trauma in that regard. Since I didn’t get any valid information from my little sister and friend regarding this club, I instead chose to ask around my friends and other sources. For now, this is what I found out.

The major club activities of Rouran Academy’s handicraft club…seems to be textile arts. I mean, I know, it sounds unbelievable. All the members are girls. In their clubroom, they would create plush toys, drink tea and eat snacks, and do other sorts of girly stuff. Not to mention these seem to be the major club activities. But from what I heard, they also have some other business going on in the shadows. Apparently, they resolve problems that are out of the student council’s reach, acting as a troubleshooter, or accept requests as long as there’s a reward, going around crushing other karate or judo dojos…So are they like some mafia?

That’s just way too eccentric. And honestly speaking, it’s crazy. So, when I asked a clear question…

‘In the end, what even is our handicrafts club?’

The answer I got back was always the same.

‘No clue.’

It’s just laughable. In the end, no matter who I asked, I got no proper response back. It’s almost like an urban legend at this point. Everything I told you just now might be rumours made up by the students themselves for all I know. However, there’s one thing I understood. It’s the only information that is solid evidence regarding the handicrafts club. This was added information from all the people I asked.

‘No clue. However—make sure not to get the club vice president angry.’

It seems like the vice president is a dangerous individual. From what I remember about Kureha’s stories, she’s a third-year. And, when I heard about the entire club-intern ranking during the summer festival—this very club vice president turned out to be the top rank of the club. She’s the strongest at this academy, the top ranker at the leading force of this messed up handicrafts club. But…what was her name again. I think it was—

“Good morning, Jirou!”

On the 9th of September, we were about one week away from the first big event of the second school term—the sports festival. After being woken up by my little sister aggressively as usual, I reached the school gate, and was greeted by this clear alto voice. Standing there was a girl wearing a uniform different from the general student body. She possessed bright and glittering hair, with a slender figure. She is also the cross-dressing butler of this school’s board chairman’s daughter Suzutsuki Kanade—Konoe Subaru. She seemed quite restless, as she greeted me.

“………”

…What’s going on? What is this awkward attitude towards me? Normally she’d be cold and indifferent, but this is a different level. To put it precisely, Konoe has been starting to act weird since the middle of summer break. It was right around the time of the summer festival. During summer break, she mentioned some summer cold, but it’s hard to believe that she still hasn’t recovered from this.

“…See, this is what I was talking about.”

As I was thinking that, Konoe took out a pink wrapping from her back, and forcefully pushed it onto me—It was a lunch box. No doubt about it, there was a lunch box inside there. If this was happening inside a company, I’d be told something along the lines of ‘Ah, chief, another lunch box by your devoted wife?’. No, she’s not my devoted wife.

“Yup, thanks~” I gave my thanks, and accepted the object.

On the inside however, I was terrified. It’s a well-known fact (at least for me) that Konoe isn’t very good at cooking, to be polite. On that final day of summer break where we cooked together in the kitchen, it almost turned into a fire pit. This is like I made it through the main area but a mimic was waiting for me.

“I sure didn’t expect you to send me that mail, Konoe. What made you want to make a lunch box for me?”

“Urk…I-I mean, you don’t have much money, right?”

“Well, you’re not wrong.”

Last summer break, I pretty much used up all of my allowance and fortune to buy a birthday present for my little sister. Frankly speaking, I was desperately trying to save money. But, it was a necessary investment. With a bit of money, another year of living was guaranteed for me. As a result of this, I’m a poor man now. I did get my salary from that one day I worked at that cafe with Masamune, but that was used for a live concert DVD of one of my favorite bands, and that money was gone immediately.

That’s why I thought of living off rice balls or without any lunch to begin with, but that’s when Konoe’s mail came in.

“Hmpf, just to let you know, but it’s not anything crazy. I just decided to make my own lunch starting from the second school term.”

“Even Suzutsuki’s share?”

“This will be taken care of by a professional chef cook. That’s why, only my own share.”

“Well, I guess making it for one or two people might not change much, I guess. But, why’d you suddenly decide to make your own lunch?”

“T-That’s…I figured I couldn’t stay like this, unable to cook, forever! I have my own pride as a butler!”

“But, weren’t you prohibited from entering your residence’s kitchen?”

“It’s fine, I went through the negotiations.”

“Negotiations?”

“Yep. I’m allowed to as long as it’s with the young lady.”

“………”

Doesn’t that make you plenty of a failure as a butler already? Your own master is being forced to tag along with you, like you’re some dog on a leash. I can’t even tell who’s the servant anymore.

“Also, getting that mail from you sure surprised me.”

“Eh?” Konoe looked at me in shock.

“I’m talking about the mail you sent me. That was our first exchange, right?”

We exchanged addresses a while back, but we never had any real reason to write each other mails. Not to mention…

“Are you possibly not used to typing on a phone?”

“W-Why would you think that?”

“I mean…it took a bit of time until you responded.”

Well, it’s actually not just a bit. One mail would take around one hour, despite it only saying ‘Got it’ or ‘What’s your favorite side dish?’, mostly simple stuff. I can only see this as her not being used to it.

“Hmpf…I can’t help it, this was the first time we exchanged mails like that.” Konoe muttered with a voice about to disappear.

Ahhh, so she really wasn’t used to it. Can’t be helped then. Well, I can see her being bad with technology, so no offense taken.

“Either way, thanks a bunch. This’ll save me money and also from starving.”

“It wasn’t just a bother?”

“Of course not, I’m happy.”

“I-I see…glad to hear that.”

“Oh yeah, let’s eat it together later.”

If I had to choose, the rooftop would probably be the best. Not to mention that ever since the second term started, we didn’t really get any chance to eat lunch together. During the first term, Konoe would invite me whenever and wherever. That’s why I invited her fairly nonchalantly, to which…

“!? N-No!”

For some reason, Konoe seemed pretty fierceful in that rejection.

“Did you have other plans?”

“No, I’m not busy or anything…”

“Then why?”

“T-That’s…!”

“That’s?”

“Because you said something that isn’t in the manual!”

“Manual?”

“~~~!”

When I repeated that dubious word, Konoe’s gaze wandered all over the place, as she grew silent….Huh? Is she avoiding me yet again? Ahh, that sucks. Maybe I really did something to make her hate me? Also, what manual is she even talking about?

“…Hm.”

Either way, this situation isn’t exactly comfortable to live through. The other students around us already started whispering to themselves. That’s Subaru-sama for you, she naturally gathers attention everywhere. Even more so here at the school gate. At this rate, the [S4] and [Watch over Committee] might soon be spreading rumours again.

“Good morning, Jirou-kun.”

There, almost like she had waited for this timing, Suzutsuki spoke up with a dignified voice. Today yet again, she wore a special uniform, different from the average one of our academy. While her black twintails shook, she approached the two of us.

“Young lady!”

The second Konoe saw her master approaching, she ran towards her like a lost child having just been reunited with her mother.

“That’s not good enough, Subaru. You need to do it exactly as I told you to.”

“M-My apologies…”

The two looked at each other, whispering. It was obvious they didn’t want me to hear the contents of their conversation.

“……”

Of course, I tried to secretly listen in. Can’t blame me for being curious, you know? My instincts were telling me that this rich lady was up to no good. Knowing her, she is probably always watching over my exchanges with Konoe. It wouldn’t be too surprising if she’s related to Konoe’s recently odd behaviour. With these thoughts, I carefully approached the two.

“Calm down. Why are you panicking like this? You properly gave him the lunch box, didn’t you.”

“…Yes…somewhat.”

“Isn’t that great then?”

“…B-But…!”

“But?”

“Well…Jirou suddenly…said we should eat lunch together…!”

“…Hmmm.”

“W-W-W-What should I do? This development wasn’t part of your manual…”

“Isn’t it fine? Why not eat together with him?”

“Eh!?”

“Yup, that way is definitely better. You might think it’s too fast for the two of you to eat together, but we’re changing the manual.”

“No way…!”

“Subaru, you should be going on the offensive here, right?”

“Urk…”

“You can’t be embarrassed. This is all to push the plan forward.”

“Urk…But…”

It seemed like Konoe was hesitating because of Suzutsuki’s words…Heh, I get it now. Konoe’s awkward attitude, Suzutsuki constantly asking about us, the conversation just now, and the lunch box…Combining these four factors, the answer is apparent. Indeed, everything is just…

“…A prank, huh.” I muttered the conclusion I came up with.

This is probably some plot to set me up for a prank, another mischief from this rich lady. Judging from her attitude and the conversation just now, this lunch box is related to her plot 100%. The reason Konoe is so hesitant and acting awkward is probably because she was forced to go along with this plan. Still, why? She went out of her way to make a manual for this? Is that lunch box some kind of timebomb?

“Ji…Jirou.”

Right as I put my ears to the lunch box, trying to pick up any possible ticking, Konoe approached me. Of course, her attitude hadn’t changed from before, and she was acting as awkward as ever.

“L…Let’s…e-e-e-eat lunch together…!”

“………”

Oh lord help me. The smell of danger is tickling my nose. I really need to get rid of this lunch box as quickly as possible, but that won’t do with Konoe around…

“Sorry, Konoe, I just remembered, but I actually planned to eat lunch together with someone else, so we’ll have to do this another time.”

“!?”

When I declined Konoe’s invitation, she apparently received a huge shock, as she staggered backwards. On top of that, I could see her soul escape her mouth.

“Ah…ahaha, is that so…”

“Y-Yeah, sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize! Not at all! I don’t mind! I would never mind!”

“R-Really?”
“Yup! It’s fine! We’ll eat lunch together another time!” Konoe let out an awkward laugh that didn’t fit the atmosphere at all.

Ah, my heart…this guilt…I can’t…

“What a shame, Subaru.” Suzutsuki gently tapped Konoe on the shoulder. “But, isn’t this good enough? You can eat together another time.”

“…Yes, you’re right…” Konoe blushed ever so slightly, showing a happy smile.

Why do you look so happy now? I thought this was just a means of pranking me.

“Also, let’s prepare something even more amazing to surprise him next time.”

“Something amazing…?”

Master and butler were talking to each other again. Suzutsuki said ‘For example…’ and approached Konoe’s ears. In doing so, Konoe’s face turned beet red, and she started stuttering.

“I-I can’t do that, young lady! That’s way too embarrassing!”

Embarrassing!?

“Really? I’m sure Jirou-kun would become more honest with himself if you did that.”

Become more honest!? No, I’m just terrified now! What pranks are you plotting!?

“But, that’s way too difficult…”

“It’s fine, everything will work out. Ahh, I can’t wait.”

“………”

Help me, God. Apparently I’ll be forced into something embarrassing and thus become more honest the next time Konoe and I eat lunch together. Are they going to use some truth serum on me? What horrible torture. Hmm, I think it’d be best if I immediately destroyed their plan.

“Hey, Konoe.” I called out to her in a quiet voice so that Suzutsuki wouldn’t be able to hear us.

Of course, my goal was to make her become my ally.

“Hm? What is it? Why are you whispering like that?”

“The thing is, you two talked about some manual just now, right?” I brought it up with no hesitation.

In response, Konoe’s mouth opened in shock.

“Wha…You heard…”

“Let me be straight with you here. I know about your plan.”

“~~~! Stop lying! There’s no way you figured it out this easily!”

“No, it was pretty easy to see through. See, about this lunch box for example.”

“W-Well, I really made that with this intent…S-So you know about everything? And…about my feelings too?”

“Yep.”

“~~~!”

In the face of my direct answer, Konoe bit her lip.

“I-I see…So then…what do you think?”

“What do I think? About what?”

“Now that you know of my feelings…how do you feel about them…”

“Hmm, it’s a bit of a bother, not gonna lie.”

“!?” Konoe’s face froze up like all her cells stopped working entirely, and staggered backwards.

Why are you so shocked about that? I just don’t like being pranked, is all.

“I see…I get it…”

“H-Hey, Konoe, you okay?”

“Ahaha…I’m fine, really.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. By the way, Jirou, do you know how to get to the sea of trees at Mt. Fuji?”

“Why are you asking me that!?”

“I just want to be alone for a while.”

“Don’t do something so dangerous, you idiot! Why are you so shocked to hear my answer!?”

“T-That’s…”

“It’s not that big of a deal, right?”

“…!? Well, it’s very important for me!”

“Important…”

“It literally involved my future life, so of course it is…!”
“Why are you suddenly jumping into all these heavy topics?!”

Damn it! I didn’t think Konoe was this serious about a simple prank! You don’t need to break out in tears like that!

“You two really love drifting apart like this, don’t you.” There, Suzutsuki muttered these words, presumably having listened to our conversation.

What’s with her? Why does she look like she perfectly understands the situation? Why does she sigh like that?

“Suzutsuki, what is this about?” I called out to her in a quiet voice.

“You best be thankful to me. I’ll clear up Subaru’s misunderstanding later.”

“Misunderstanding? What’s there to misunderstand about you guys planning a prank?”

“So you really thought of it as a prank, huh.”

“It’s not? You talked about a ‘plan’ and ‘manual’ after all, so you are trying to play more mischief, right?”

“…Well, you’re right. I was thinking about some things.”

To my surprise, Suzutsuki gave me an honest response. Weird, normally she’d come up with some nonsense to talk her way out of this. Also, what is going on? Even her attitude suddenly feels so odd compared to before, almost like with Konoe…

“Now, let’s go. We’ll end up late to class otherwise, Subaru.”

Almost like this was some attempt of running away, Suzutsuki called out to Konoe, and walked towards the school building……Well, whatever. Better than her making up some nonsense again. I’m worried because she’s apparently feeling a bit down, but maybe that’s just her mood right now.

“Young lady…” A listless Konoe swiftly walked after Suzutsuki, and I followed after.

Of course, it’s not like this is me stalking two cute girls or anything. Our destination is simply the same classroom. Suzutsuki said that she would end up late at this rate, but there’s still some time until the beginning of the first period. As proof of that, many students were still wearing their gym clothes. They were probably practicing for the sports festival. After all, this year’s sports festival is pretty crazy.

In other words, the sports festival execution committee president this year seems to be a bit of a crazy person, which is why the events this year will be far more over the top than before. For example, the main event of the morning will be the…three-legged scavenger hunt bread-snatching race. No matter how you look at it, he’s just putting stuff together to forcefully create something new.

On a side note, the two who will participate in this chanpuru1 dish-like event from our class will be none other than Suzutsuki and Konoe. Apparently, Suzutsuki was the one who wanted things to be this way, but I really don’t see how you could be excited for an event like that.

With these thoughts in mind, we walked through the noisy courtyard, onwards into the school building, and then towards our classroom. This might be obvious, but even if this is generally an exciting event, not all classes feel equally passionate. When there’s classes who go out of their way to practice early in the morning, then there’s those who do the exact opposite…and of course, my class belongs to the latter. Or rather, many of those guys are still not over the fact that summer break ended, and are just lounging in the classroom listless as can be.

“Yawwwwn…”

After splitting up with Konoe and Suzutsuki, I sat down on my own seat, and let out a flashy yawn. As you can see, I also am still a bit drowsy from the summer break. Personally, I can’t really get into the groove.

“Well, that’ll change eventually.”

At the very least, I should be able to flip that switch inside of me once the sports festival rolls around. Then again, there’s so many melancholic and depressing events recently. The yen losing value, global warming, Kureha’s grip strength finally passing 60kg. Especially the last point is directly influencing my individual HP.

“Yo, Jirou, how are we doing? You sure seem out of steam today.”

As I was enjoying the scenery outside the window, someone sat down on the seat next to me.

It was a sporty male student…Huh? Who’s that guy again.

“Hey, what’s that stupid look for? You forgot about me or something?”

“…Ah, Kurose.”

He’s Kurose Yamato. Right now he’s a drummer in the music club, but we’ve known each other since middle school. To think I’d forget about him. Must be because of the summer break, I feel like we haven’t seen each other in a while.

“Don’t space out like that, you got someone calling for you.”

“Someone calling for me?”

“Yup, a first-year girl is waiting outside the classroom.”

“Kureha?”

“Nope, not your little sister. She’s pretty…big…and yeah, she’s wearing cat ears.”

“……”

This is an emergency situation. There’s only one person that would fit this description.

“Jirouuuu, be honest with me. That your girlfriend?”

“As if, you moron. That’s definitely not it.”

“Tsk, boring.”

“What about you then? Got anything to tell me that happened over summer break?”

“Don’t ask, I’m seriously gonna cry.” Kurose clapped his hands together with some mysterious ‘Amen’ as he looked up at the sky.

You’re not Christian, are you? Why are you praying to God now. Or, are you praying to John Lennon because you’re part of the music club? John must be shocked to hear that up in heaven.

“Now, hurry up. Should be fine as long as she’s not your little sis, right? Better a normal person than her, you say.”

“Well, if the other person is normal, I guess.”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Never met any person who’s more out of the norm than your little sister, you know.”

“In a way, she’s probably more dangerous than Kureha…”

When meeting Kureha, I always have to mentally prepare myself to be used as a punching bag, but I need different determination if I want to meet the girl in question. I would probably do better with some chill pills.

“Haha! That’s crazy! Now I wanna get a good look at her again!” Kurose tapped me on the back, as he laughed.

He thinks this isn’t any of his problems. You can’t compare this to just simply looking at the pandas in the zoo, alright.

“…Jeez.” I let out a sigh, and headed to the hallway.

You might think I decided pretty quickly, but it’s better than being judged inside the classroom. It’d just destroy my image if I made a girl wait. Naturally, nobody knows that I’m about to meet up with a glasses junkie.

“Ah, Senpai, Nakuru was waiting for quite some time.”

Right after opening the door and stepping outside, I was greeted like that. Just as Kurose informed me, she had cat ears growing from her head, with a well-endowed body, glittering long hair, and facial features that were complemented by her glasses—Narumi Nakuru.

She is the second rank in Rouran Academy’s handicraft club, and the president of the [Watch over Subaru-sama with a warm gaze] committee. Basically, she enjoys any kind of BL material that involves me and Konoe. She’s probably the second person after Suzutsuki that I’m bad at dealing with.

“Hmpf, you don’t need to make such a bothersome face, Senpai. Nakuru has been waiting this entire time.”

She must have seen my facial color change to blue, because Nakuru showed a bothered pout.

“This entire time…wasn’t that just two minutes tops?”

“Nakuru calls this a neglecting roleplay.”

“Easy version?”

“Nakuru’s heart was racing.”

“You’re grossing me out, so stop.”

“But, two minutes is just fine. If you had taken three minutes, Nakuru probably wouldn’t have been able to bear it.”

“You can’t even wait three minutes?”

“Leaving that aside, is that sporty person who greeted Nakuru just now your friend, Senpai?”

“Kurose? Yes, we’ve been on good terms since middle school.”

“Good terms!?”

“Why are you so shocked about that!”

“I mean, on good terms since middle school…Kyaaa!”

“Alright, calm down you damn glasses junkie. Whatever you’re thinking is the case right now definitely is not the truth.”

“But, you share an erotic relationship, right?”

“Please, just listen to me.”

“Makes sense why he gave off the same scent as Senpai.”

“Alright, I’m reserving an appointment at an otolaryngologist for you right now!”

Might be some new type of hay fever. I heard it can influence your brain and thinking process, but to think I would see an example of that.

“Still, it’s been a while since we met, huh.”

When was the last time? Since we didn’t run into each other after the second term started, it was probably at that park during summer break. And, we ended up separating at a weird point.

“…Yes, it has been. After what happened at that park…Nakuru was thinking about lots of things, so it was hard to meet you…”

For some reason, Nakuru said these words with faintly reddened cheeks, almost like she felt embarrassed. She was thinking abouts lots of things? Better not be some new material for your BL novel, I swear. Save me, really. Leave these dangerous things and ideas only in your head, will you. You’ll cause the apocalypse if you carelessly leak any of that.

“So, what do you want, coming all the way out here?” I asked her with the underlying tone of ‘Go back already’.

That being said, since she came to an upperclassman’s room, I figured that probably wouldn’t happen so easily for me.

“The thing is…” Nakuru showed an oddly serious expression, and continued her words. “Please run away together with Nakuru.”

…Ahh, here it is. I somehow felt I knew this would happen. When she says run away, knowing who she is and what she does, there can only be one reason why she would tell me that.

“…Nakuru.” I grew about as serious as she did, and spoke up. “Please, turn yourself in.”

“………What?”

“You’re saying that the day had come for you to be unable to restrain yourself and your desires, so you finally committed a crime, right? That’s why you want me to run away together with you.”

“…Senpai, you’re saying some very rude things right now…Wait, why are you suddenly taking out your phone!”

“I need to report this.”

“To the 110!?”

“No, 119. Maybe with a bit of surgery, you can still be saved.”

“Surgery!? Where!?”

“Your brain of course.”

“Why!? There’s absolutely no problem with Nakuru’s brain.”

“Your brain’s the problem?”

“Don’t twist Nakuru’s words!”

“Be honest with me, what did you do? Peeking into the men’s public bath? Stole glasses? Did the police already put you on a wanted list?”

“Urk…so cruel. Even Nakuru wouldn’t commit a crime like that!”

“Eh, seriously?”

“Don’t act so surprised! The worst Nakuru has done is stalking Senpai this past week!”

“That is a proper and offensive crime in the world I come from, okay! Don’t just proudly declare that!”

That is plenty of proof that would get you arrested, you know that right. Also, why are you stalking me for an entire week? Is that why I was feeling gazes all the time?

“Isn’t it fine? It was a sweet prank of a maiden.”

“Don’t play it off as a prank.”

“Urk…Then, at least forgive me as a clumsy girl.”

“Clumsy girl?”

“If you’d like, Nakuru can show her how clumsy she can be.”

“…Very well, show it to me.”

“Roger. Then, Nakuru will now proceed to kill what should otherwise be safe.”
“You plan on throwing yourself off the building, right!? Also, why do you immediately jump to killing!? What do you plan on killing!?”

“Of course, the atmosphere here.”

“The atmosphere here is already dead!”

The one who committed that crime was none other than you as well. You did it ten times over. If not, I’d be screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Senpai, don’t look at Nakuru like a dead fish.”

“You were the one who killed my eyes too.”

“You still keep that joke going! Just listen to Nakuru! She came here to warn you, you know!?”

“…Warn?”

The heck is up with that? Why would she of all people do that? If anything, I should warn you. Specifically about your actions during the day.

“Let Nakuru be straight with you. Senpai, you are being targeted.”
“Huh?”

“That’s why, please run away. If not…that person will come.”

“……”

I mean, you can say it like that, but I still don’t get it. Someone is targeting me? That sounds like some weird battle manga. I was considering calling 119, but I didn’t expect Nakuru’s head to be messed up to such an extent. She lost sight of reality and fiction. Also, that person she mentioned…

“Are you that Sakamachi Kinjirou, huh?”

There, a somewhat distinct voice reverberated inside the hallway. It sounded like an anime character’s voice that only exists in the 2D world. Turning towards that voice, I was greeted by a small girl. For some reason, she held a small plush toy cat with a fierce gaze in her hand. She had a strong look in her eyes, and below her skirt she wore sporty spats. Can’t forget about her shining silver hair…

“Also…so small.” I muttered my honest impressions.

She was incredibly small. That’s probably how you would put it into words. She might even be smaller than Kureha. Almost like a doll, you know. Seeing that I don’t remember her face, she probably isn’t a second-year. From her looks, probably a first-year? But, why does she know my name?

“Senpai, dodge!”

Maybe because I was thinking unnecessary things, I couldn’t react in time when I heard Nakuru’s words. In a moment, the girl closed the distance between the two of us, and…

“!?”

A gut punch slammed right into my gut, sending my entire body flying.

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Gah…!?”

With a crushing sound, my back slammed against the door, and my body clapped. In my sight, I saw the familiar ceiling of the classroom. I heard the faint muttering of my classmates.

“……!”

…No, that’s not important.

“Urk…Ah…”

…I can’t get up. Despite being thoroughly trained by Kureha and Mom all these years, I found myself unable to stand. The best I could do was breathe. D-Don’t joke with me, her body is so small, and yet she has so much power…

“…Hehehe.” There, the girl looked down at me “Huh, for being her big bro, you sure are weak.”

“…Wha?”

Big bro? That sounded familiar. The other person who argued about this was…Usami Masamune. Basically, she is…

“Onee-chan!”

I heard a panicking voice. The owner of this voice was none other than Narumi Nakuru, who…Wait, Onee-chan? That means, she is…

“Y-You are…” I tried to desperately form my words.

Immediately after, the girl Nakuru called ‘Onee-chan!’ spoke up.

“Oh yeah, I haven’t introduced myself yet.” She muttered. “Remember it well, Sakamachi Kinjirou. I am the top-ranking student of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club, and the club vice president—Narumi Schrödinger2!”

“……”

That is one hell of a name. And that is also the first impression I received of Nakuru’s small older sister.

“Y-Y-Y-Y-You bastard! You thought of me as ‘small’ again, right!?”

“Ugh…”

She’s having some weird misunderstanding. I was just thinking how impactful her name is. However, she fully ignored my thoughts, and instead started blushing while complaining. And then, she started running towards me.

“Eat this!”

She winded up a soccer free kick. Naturally, I was the target of that.

“Oooooaaah!?”

Although that action took me by surprise, I somehow managed to evade this attack while on the ground. Immediately after, a loud sound rang out, with something falling over on the floor. It was a desk. In my stead, a solid wooden desk was shot into the corner of the room like the ball during a free kick…Hey hey hey, what if there were still some workbooks in there? Just how much strength does she have despite having such a small body?

“Damn it…everybody is just making fun of me…I’m still in the middle of my growth spurt, so I’m not small at all!”

The girl clearly hadn’t vented out her anger yet, as she was still fuming. It seems like she was suffering from a complex about her height. Then again, I really can’t blame her. With her size, it wouldn’t be too hard to mistake her for a grade school girl.

“Senpai!”

There, Nakuru came running towards me.

“…Nakuru, explain this. Who is this excessively strong kiddo.”

“Kiddo…Um, that person is Nakuru’s older sister.”

Seriously? They don’t resemble each other in the slightest. Not to mention that the height difference is the opposite. As I was left bewildered however, the classmates inside the classroom all started to catch attention to our visitor.

“Waaah, look at her! It’s Schrödinger-san!”

“Why’s Schrö-senpai here?”

“Also, she’s so tiny!”

“Shhh! You want her to bite you!?”

…Is she actually pretty famous? They’re acting like they ran into a wild boar or something.

“You haven’t heard? Onee-chan is pretty famous with a good portion of students, who call her ‘Schrödinger-san’ or ‘Schrö-senpai’, you know.”

“A good portion of students?”
“Basically, the third-years and those who are in sports-related clubs. Onee-chan is famous for crushing the various clubs after all.”

“Crushing…”

“Track-and-field, judo, kendo, soccer…and so forth. From what Nakuru heard, she battled the greater majority of all clubs before. Of course, in the speciality of the club.”

“……”

Alright alright alright. For now, I understand that your older sis was the one who sent me flying. With what she did to that desk, and the fact that she’s in the handicrafts club explains a lot, not to mention as the vice club president.

“So, what does the mighty Schrödinger-san want with me?”

“T-That’s…”

Nakuru suddenly started blushing after hearing my question. Is it some embarrassing reason? She didn’t come here to confess, right? Sorry, but I’m not into lolis. I have one small kiddo that’s too strong for her own good.

“Heh, let me tell you.”

Schrö-senpai must have heard our conversation, as she puffed out her chest, and exclaimed with a loud voice to pass the classroom.

“You laid your hands on my little sister!”

“……”

Now hold the phone. With little sister, is she referring to this glasses junkie? When did I ever do such a thing? I call defamation, slander! I’d prefer it if you didn’t say nonsense that would evoke misunderstandings with my classmates.

“Don’t play dumb, I already looked into it.” Schrö-senpai said, brimming with confidence. “I heard everything from Nakuru. You bastard…you went on a date with her during the last summer break, right?”

“!”

“Not to mention that you had her feed you with her homemade lunch box.”

“………”

“Even sharing a…p-p-p-passionate embrace in broad daylight!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”

She’s totally got the wrong idea about everything! It’s true that I went on a date with Nakuru in a public park before, and she did make a lunch box for me, followed up by a passionate one-sided hug, but all of these things had proper reasons to them.

“Onee-chan! Please listen to Nakuru!” Nakuru stood up, protesting.

Yeah, tell her, glasses junkie! There was a proper reason for that date, right! In reality…

“That date was compensated dating!”

“Why compensated dating now?!” I threw in an immediate retort.

“Eh? Nakuru isn’t wrong, right? Back then, Nakuru asked Senpai to go on a date with her, like a part-time job.”

“You’re not wrong, but still!”

“Nakuru even gave you compensation.”

“It wasn’t that crazy of a compensation now, was it?!”

“N-No way! …Nakuru gave you something so important that can’t even be compared to money, and yet you act like it was nothing…”

“Don’t phrase it that way! People will definitely get the wrong idea, alright!?”

That something so important were glasses! Glasses you hear me!? Ahh, what a blunder. I should have known that this glasses junkie would just make things worse. Naturally, whispering began between my female classmates, who heard about this.

“Compensated dating…”

“Not to mention that the girl had to pay…”

“Also, what is this something important she mentioned…”

“Human trash, that guy.”

At the same time, the boys weren’t much better.

“Waah, he really did it.”

“Was just a matter of time to be honest.”

“I won’t forgive him! Being lovey-dovey with a big-breasted cat-eared underclassman!”

Compared to the girls, their voices were rather filled with jealousy and killing intent more than actual disgust. This is a nightmare, I’ll lose my right as a human being at this rate.

…”You sure have guts, laying your hands on my little sister.”

And then, there was the person fuming with anger—Narumi Schrödinger. She’s the top rank of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club, as well as the vice club president. Even Kureha said that she was pretty amazing, right.

“…Senpai, please run.” Nakuru muttered with an anxious voice. “Onee-chan might not be as well-versed in battle techniques like Kureha-chan or Usami-senpai, but…”

“…But?”

“She’s strong. In the club ranking tournament that happened this spring, she fought Kureha-chan head-on and won.”

“……”

“You should know from that punch just now, right? Onee-chan is different from other people. Power, speed, senses, she’s towering above all of these individual abilities as the absolute leader. That’s why…Hurry and run—”

Before she could finish her words, Narumi Schrödinger started running.

“This time I won’t miss!” She shouted with as much of an anime voice as before.

She took the straight line directly towards me, all to knock me out in a single strike.

“Get away!” I reflexively pushed away Nakuru with one hand.

Nakuru let out a shocked ‘Kya!?’ as she fell backwards. This is better than her getting wrapped up in the upcoming slaughter.

“Urk…”

This is bad. Seriously bad. Just as Nakuru said, she’s probably much stronger than the little monster of my family. Not to mention that she never grew rampant like this.

“Daaaaah!”

Dash and attack was the idea behind Schrö-senpai’s movement, her fist about to smash right into me at high speed.

“You’re annoying.” There, I heard a familiar alto voice.

That wasn’t the end either. Schrö-senpai let out a baffled ‘Wha!?’, and flew backwards. She was hit by a beautiful drop kick. It landed a clean hit on Schrö-senpai, sending her flying into the corner of the classroom.

“You okay, Jirou?”

“K-Konoe…”

That’s right, this is Konoe Subaru, who sent Schrö-senpai flying like it was nothing.

“W-Why…”

“Hm? That drop kick just now? I learned about this from Kureha-chan. We often train together, right? And, I properly held back.”

“That’s not what I meant! Why…did you save me?”

“Don’t worry about it. That misunderstanding was resolved.”

“Misunderstanding?”

“Yep. Not to mention, you are…my precious…!” Konoe spoke that far, only to suddenly grow quiet again.

Damn it, so she couldn’t abandon her best friend? I’m so pathetic, being saved by a girl. But…right now, we can only team up. That Narumi Schrödinger is totally out of my league. If we can make this a two versus one, then…

“Not to mention that I wanted to ask you something, Jirou.”

“Something you wanted to ask?”

“Yeah. Just now, you talked about going on a date with Nakuru-chan.”

“………”

“Not to mention that she fed you with some homemade lunch, you exchanged a passionate hug, and you even stole something important from Nakuru-chan.”

“…A-Ahaha, calm down, Konoe-san. Why are your eyes suddenly so scary?”

I take back what I said. That butler is probably planning to finish me together with Schrö-senpai. Konoe’s embarrassed expression vanished in an instant, and now she looked like a brown bear aiming at a salmon, glaring at me. Ahhh, I need to prove my innocence quickly!

“Man, that surprised me~” That familiar anime voice spoke up again.

Turning my gaze towards there, Narumi Schrödinger had already stood up. She didn’t seem to have taken that much damage, probably because Konoe held back after all.

“…Well, whatever. First, I need to take care of her.” Konoe said, and tore her gaze away from me, directing it over at Schrö-senpai.

“Hello there, Subaru-sama. That was a great kick just now.”

“You know me?”

“Of course I do. Don’t think there’s any student at this school who doesn’t, to be honest. Also, I heard a lot about you from my little sister.”

“A lot?”

“Every single day, as soon as she gets home, it’s all about you and that Sakamachi Kinjirou over there.”

“Hmmm.”

“But, don’t get the wrong idea. I most definitely wasn’t thinking ‘Enough about that, just play with Onee-chan!’, okay.”

“If you want her to play with you, then you could just be honest, you know.”

“…!? I-I-I-I told you you’re wrong, okay! Don’t try to guess what I feel, just because you look like a girl!”

“W-What does my face have to do with anything!? Look at you being so tiny!”

“Don’t want to hear that from Mr. Girly-face!”

“Again, my face doesn’t have anything to do with this!”

Sparks flew between the two. I wonder why, but these two might be fairly similar. They are both thickheaded, and childish all the same.

“Also, I’m a third-year, you know? Where’s your respect for your upperclassman?”

“Let me be honest, you don’t seem older at all.”

“S-Shut up! I’m still growing, so just you wait!”

“I feel like your growth has stopped entirely?”

“Hmpf, what a shame, but there were actually some results this year!”

“Oh, you shrunk?”

“I sure didn’t!”

“Then, how much did you grow?”

“Urk…Two millimeters…”

“Heh.”

“Don’t laugh!! It’s fine since I grew, right!? Better than having a girly face! Also, you actually look like a girl! You even smell like one!”

“…! Stop it already! Don’t come any closer! Stop sniffing me!”

“Hmmmm? Don’t tell me, were you aware of it?”

“Y-You…!”

“Ah! Stop, what are you doing!”

Out of rage, Konoe grabbed Schrö-senpai’s cheeks, pulling on them. Schrö-senpai joined in and did the same to Konoe…

“……”

Yeah, they’re children. No talking around it.

“Damn it! You really made me angry!” Schrö-senpai must have blown a fuse, as she stepped away from Konoe momentarily. “I heard from Kureha. You won against her, didn’t you?”

“Oh yeah, you were the vice president of the handicrafts club, right.”

“On top of that, I’m the top-ranker of the club. Nobody is stronger than me.”

“Yet you’re only the vice president.”

“Shut up! That’s a forbidden comment! I really wanted to be the club president after all! But, she made that club, so I can’t…” Schrö-senpai said, pouting. “Ahh, whatever! I’ll ignore the fact that you’re a boy for now! Two versus one is a good handicap, so come at me.”

“…Hmpf.”

In the face of these words that sounded directly like provocation, Konoe showed a bothered expression, and glanced over at me. What should we do? Any half-baked persuasion won’t work. If so, then there’s only one option, namely going 2v1.

“………”

No, that’s not right. I’m the one who started this after all.

“It’s fine. Step back, Konoe.”

“Wha…Jirou!?”

“Ohh? Color me surprised. I don’t dislike your guts!” Schrö-senpai laughed like an anime villain.

…Fight’s on, shrimp. I don’t know my chances here, but I’m still the oldest son of the Sakamachi family, and I wasn’t raised to run away in the face of a threat. Not to mention…

“……”

Having Konoe protect me, I’d rather die than be such a chicken in front of her. That’s why I’m not stepping down. In one move, I closed the distance between us…

“You can stop, Jirou-kun.”

Right before we clashed, a dignified voice called out to us. It was Suzutsuki Kanade. Despite appearing out of nowhere, she remained as calm as always, as she continued her words.

“Nice to meet you, Narumi-senpai. I’m sorry to interrupt you like this, but I would advise you to cease this fighting right now.”

“Eh? Why? We barely started?”

“That’s right. The gong for the first round might not have rung yet, but the bell for the first period to start will instead. And then, the teacher will come.” Suzutsuki calmly explained. “Say, aren’t you the president of the sports festival execution committee? If you were to cause a problem like this, it might have some influence on the sports festival itself, right? This sports festival is an event important for a lot of students, so you wouldn’t want to ruin it for them, right?”

“Urk…you’re not wrong.” She said. “Alright, guess I’ll pull back for now.” Schrödinger-san relaxed her body.

…That’s Suzutsuki for you. She resolved this chaos with just her words alone. If only Schrö-senpai just stays low after this…

“—But, you know.” She flashed an arrogant grin. “How will we clear up this incident today? I’m not going to forget all of this.”

“…Aren’t you quite selfish, I see.” Suzutsuki let out a sigh. “Then, how about this? I heard about a special event you were planning for the sports festival, correct?”

“Ahh, that? Yeah, it’s something like an exhibition match, but I’m struggling to find participants.”

“Is that so? Then…why don’t you have Jirou-kun and Subaru participate in this event?”

“…!? Young lady!?” Dear Butler-kun was baffled at her master’s words.

Naturally, I felt the same way, but the conversation proceeded without us having any choice to disagree.

“After all, it’s an exhibition match, so you can settle your score there. Of course, you’ll participate too, won’t you. You are Schrödinger-san, the strongest of this entire school after all.”

“—Yep, you’re right with that.” Schrödinger-san smiled like she was looking forward to it.

“Then, if Subaru and Jirou-kun win against you, you’ll forget about this event, right?”

“Fine by me. If I win…I can do whatever I want with Sakamachi Kinjirou, right?”

“Yes, that can’t be helped then.”

“Wha!?”

What is she just nonchalantly agreeing to?

“What should I make him do then? Maybe have him be my slave for a month?” Schrö-senpai started thinking about some dangerous things.

How cruel. I didn’t have any bad intentions when accidentally starting this fight, and now my safety is in danger. I feel like I won’t survive being her slave.

“Then, the decisive battle will happen at the sports festival. I’m not gonna lose, alright. If I lose, I’ll call you ‘Onii-chan’ and be your little sister!”

What an unnecessary declaration of war. After saying these words, she ran through the classroom, opened the window, and jumped outside like it was nothing.

“……”

Um, you do realize we are on the second floor, right? Because of this odd development, the entire classroom stayed quiet. The sudden arrival, and disappearance, of Rouran Academy’s strongest, the vice president of the handicrafts club Narumi Schrödinger-san, sent tremors through our class, almost like a storm.

1 Usually containing vegetables (especially bitter melon), tofu, meat or fish​

2 Normally, i’d write it the English ‘Schroedinger’ way, but the raws of v12 have her name with the German ‘ö’, so I’m keeping it that way