Mayo Chiki!

Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD

In the end, I think that the most important thing for a human being is to eat breakfast. In order to have a fulfilling life and have energy for the day, you can’t miss out on a morning dish. As I am Japanese, I have my own menu, with miso soup, grilled fish, and scrambled eggs being the best. As for the drinks, milk is awesome, it fits unexpectedly well.

Another important factor is that you eat breakfast with other people. When eating alone, you tend to lose the taste of how delicious the breakfast really is, so being with someone else makes it much more delicious, and enjoyable. It sounds like the wishes of a guy in his thirties, but I chose to believe that it’s like that, and live my life accordingly. However, I even think that something is wrong with these members here.

“Wah, Ichigo. So we’re having scrambled eggs for breakfast today!”

“YES, it’s Kanade-ojousama’s favorite.”

“Thank you, it looks very delicious.”

“Kanade-ojousama, please keep your manners in mind.”

“I know that. Thanks for the food…Hm? Onii-chan, aren’t you going to eat?”

“N-No, I will…Thanks for the food…”

Urged by Suzutsuki, I put my hands together…or rather, my paws in my costume. The rule of this family states that servants and master eat together, so we all sit around the table with Suzutsuki. Since I only got microwave rice and pickled radish until yesterday, this was a newfound joy in life.

By the way, we have no school today. Once a year, the school celebrates its opening day, so there were no classes for today, which makes me very happy. If there was one problem…

“What’s wrong, you’re sounding a bit down…Am I heavy?”

“N-No, of course not.” I tried my best to let out a vague smile, but I couldn’t stop sweating profusely.

Right now, my job is to be a chair for Suzutsuki Kanade. I was a simple human chair.

“………”

No, she’s not sitting on me as I was on all fours, or anything like that. She simply sat on my lap. I feel like a father spoiling his daughter. However, because Suzutsuki has the body of a high school girl, it just doesn’t feel right. Honestly speaking, I was too busy trying to endure my gynophobia that I don’t even know what it tastes like, let alone that I can barely eat anyway.

“Hmpf…”

Next to me, Konoe showed a complicated expression. Add Masamune to that as well. Even though we finally got together for some breakfast, the two were just staring at me, not even touching their food.

“Onii-chan. Here, open wide~”

Yet, Suzutsuki had no awareness of this tense atmosphere, as she offered me a croissant. Today’s menu was salad, scrambled eggs, freshly baked croissants, and some hot bacon. Bravo, is all I can say.

“You’re not going to eat anything?”

“No, I’m fine. I can eat on my own.”

“Even though it’s your master’s order?”

“That…”

“Don’t worry, there’s no poison in there.” Derechuki-san showed an angelic smile.

Judging from that attitude, she’s gotten quite attached to me. However, that doesn’t mean I could just ignore Ichigo-san, who glared at me from the opposite side of the table. The way she’s shaking with a knife in hand is terrifying to say the least. I feel like I might be turned into chicken saute if I’m not careful.

“Come on, Onii-chan.”

“Urk…”

Without knowing what I felt, Suzutsuki pushed the fork towards me. Can you not? You’ll be the end of me at this rate. Also, this is an indirect kiss, right? Even if her consciousness is that of a child right now, this is bad for my heart. I feel like she might ask for money after that.

“Onii-chan, eat up?” She spoke with a sweet voice.

…Damn it, this isn’t fair. She actually looks like an innocent child right now. Ahh, Derechuki-san seriously is no joke. Why does she have to grow up like that? If she just kept this personality, she’d be so cute…

“Stupid chicken, you’re grinning.” Because of a sharp voice, I was called back to reality.

Looking over, Masamune gave me a disgruntled and sharp gaze, as she cut up some of her bacon with a knife and fork.

“Lolicon. I didn’t expect you to have this kind of interest.”

“Y-You’re wrong, this is just Suzutsuki and…”

“Aren’t you pretty close now. You even slept in the same bed yesterday, right?”

“Didn’t I just explain everything? Nothing happened. Also, why are you so pissed?”

“Am not. Not at all. I just…don’t want my friend to be a lolicon, that’s all. There’s no other reason besides that.” She said, and munched up the bacon.

Well, I don’t want to be regarded as a lolicon. But, I feel like the universe is tempting me recently, with Schrö-senpai and Derechuki-san. I need to make sure I don’t lose myself.

“Oh, that’s right. Suzutsuki Kanade, I made something good for you.” As the breakfast had progressed further, Masamune suddenly spoke up.

“Eh? Something good?”

“A kamishibai1.”

“Ohh, that’s pretty cool, Usamin.”

“Would you like to take a look?”

“Yup!” Suzutsuki energetically responded as she sat on my lap.

A kamishibai…now that’s quite old-school. But, why now? We’re eating.

“Here, let’s start then.” Masamune took out drawn pictures from beneath her chair, and the title on the first one was… “The title is ‘Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan’.”

“……”

Um, Masamune-san, I feel like this title will negatively influence her education.

“I’ll give you a simple explanation of the story. It’s a success story of Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan, who fight their common enemy, the Lolicon Straw Doll.”

“Waaaah, it really is a straw doll! But, it looks a bit weird. It resembles someone I know. Onii-chan, do you know who that could be?”

“N-No idea.” I gave a vague response.

After all, that Lolicon Straw Doll looks exactly like me. It was in a more comic style because it was drawn, but it was wearing glasses, and on its chest, it said ‘Chicken Bastard’.

“Hey, Masamune, are you bullying me now?”

“Of course not. They often do this in grade school, right? This is just another type of education. The whole ‘You shouldn’t talk to strangers’ thing, remember.”

“But why did I turn into the enemy!?”

“With Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan’s special combined attack ‘Cursing Ritual’, the Lolicon Straw Doll will forever suffer in hell.”

“Stop with that ominous naming!”

My chest actually started to hurt now. Her naming sense is the worst. Imagine fighting against the Silent Sheep.

“…I see, if you dislike it that much, I’ll stop.”

“Eh…?”

Surprisingly enough, Masamune put away the pictures. Ahh, thank god. I really don’t want to see a character based on me being beat up…

“Then, let’s move on to the second project. ‘Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan 3D’.”

“3D!?”

“This is the enemy character Lolicon Straw Doll.”

“Ohhh! Amazing! It’s in 3D! I can see it standing there…Wait hold on! That’s just a normal straw doll, right!?” I threw in a retort.

What do you mean 3D? She just took out an actual straw doll from beneath her chair.

“Also, where did you even get the straw from?”

“It’s natto.”

“Natto!?”

“I used the one we had here. Though, I had to eat the natto for that.”

“You clearly didn’t have to go that far!”

“I really hate natto…”

“What a cute weakness that is!”

“D-Don’t blame me! Also, what!? Do you want to see my body slimy and sticky from it!? How much of a pervert are you!?”

“You’re the pervert here!”

How did you even come up with that? Also, why did you force yourself to eat it? Is your hate for me stronger than that?

“I tried really hard…I thought that, if I made that doll, it might scare Suzutsuki Kanade…and then, she would hopefully back down a bit…”

“……”

I see, so her target was Derechuki-san. I guess it would be rare for children to like straw dolls, but did that plan work out…?

“However, leaving this to waste would be such a shame, so I’ll be using this straw doll for a real curse ritual.”

“Waaaah, it’s the climax!”

“Stop that already! That’s not something you should show to a child!”

“Shut up, stupid chicken. If you cause any more of a ruckus, I’ll make sure your life reaches its climax as well.”

“Don’t say scary stuff like that! Damn it, now that’s come to this…!”

“Ah, hey! What are you doing!?”

I forcefully stole the straw doll from Masamune, who sat next to me. Like hell I’d accept being cursed here. This definitely doesn’t count for education.

“Geez, I worked on this an entire night…”

“You could have just, you know, slept?”

“That is also…your fault…” Masamune puffed out her lips, and started complaining.

Why would that be my fault? I’m not a lolicon, and the reason I slept in the same bed as Suzutsuki is because she ordered me to.

“But, it’s fine. I still have other straw dolls.”

“What the hell is this?!”

“Look, so many.”

Masamune said, and took out a cardboard box filled with straw dolls from beneath her chair, and…Waaaaaaaaaaah!? How many is that!? It’s like a small army!

“And? Shocked, right?”

“Of course!?”

“If only your heart could just stop like that.”

“You are asking for it!?”

“Ah, Newcomer, give me one as well.”

“What do you plan on doing with that, Ichigo-san!?”

“Just trying to relieve some of my stress. But, I don’t need a hammer. I have this after all.”

“Don’t bring out a chainsaw at the dining table!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Masamune silently handed Ichigo-san a straw doll. These two are dangerous. She seems to hold a grudge against me because I slept in the same bed as Suzutsuki. She’s emitting clear hostility. Damn it, I really need an ally now.

“Kureha, can you say something to them?”

“Eh? Me?”

“Yeah. You’re my little sister, so you should know, right?”

“…Yeah, I do.” Kureha nodded strongly.

That’s right, she’s my blood-related younger sister. Usually she just uses me as a punching bag, but I have to count on her during times like these…

“Usamin-senpai, give me one as well.”

“Kureha-san!?”

“Nii-san, I’m worried about you, okay? This is just to prevent you becoming a lolicon.”

“The way you worry is messed up, you hear me!?”

“Then, should I try some wrestling moves instead?”

“Do you want me to suffer that badly!?”

Come on now, I don’t want to indirectly feel you pulling wrestling moves on that straw doll. Also, how will that even stop me from being a lolicon? If it had that kind of ability, it would have won the Nobel Prize by now.

“Onii-chan, they really are close, huh.”

I don’t know if she even knew what was going on, but the young lady said these words with appreciation in her tone. I however wholeheartedly agreed. It’s crazy that all of those maids were emitting full-blown hostility. I feel like the sole survivor in a zombie movie. Around me are only enemies. If I were to give this situation a title, it would be ‘Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD’.

“Damn it…”

I looked towards Konoe, since she was the only person who hadn’t turned into a zombie yet—But the second our eyes met, she immediately averted her gaze in embarrassment. What a blunt attitude. Worse of all is that she’s been like this the moment I woke up. It appears as if she didn’t want to talk with me because of what happened yesterday. I still haven’t properly apologized for the incident with the kiss…Can’t we just make up already…

“Thanks for the food. Now, everyone, I’m counting on you today again.”

Eventually, the breakfast ended, and us servants had our respective jobs to fulfill. Then again, my job today was to simply do some cleaning, and I know it can’t be helped with how big this residence is.

“Let’s go, Ichigo.”

“Understood. Subaru, the preparations?”

“All done.”

Suzutsuki, Ichigo-san, and Konoe got up from their seats, and left the room. Oh yeah, she had another check-up in the hospital, right. This time they’re apparently leaving for a hospital outside of town. They’re probably trying everything they can to deal with Suzutsuki’s sudden memory loss.

“Stupid chicken, you get to working already.” While saying so, Masamune carried the dishes to the kitchen.

Her job is to clean dishes and make lunch for later. Since she’s skilled at housework, it was an easy feat.

“…Alright, time to get to work.” I whispered briefly, and motivated myself.

Normally I should be thinking about possible ways to cure Suzutsuki, but…In my current situation, there’s not much I can do, so I should probably just get some work done at least. After all, I’m a servant at this residence right now. I may not have the most important role, but I at least have to properly fulfill that.

“Nii-san.”

Right as I was thinking that, Kureha disrupted my thoughts.

“What’s up? If you want to try some wrestling moves, let’s do that later.”

Since I woke up next to Konoe, she probably held back on waking me up as always. It’s been a while since I had such a peaceful morning. Couldn’t expect anything like that in the hellish home I live in.

“No, there’s something I wanted to talk with you about.”

“Oh, really?”

“Remember how I said that Onee-sama might have feelings for you? The thing is…I actually had a proper reason for that.”

“Reason…it wasn’t just your intuition…?”

“Y-Yeah…Um, it’s about this!” Kureha seemed oddly flustered, as she took out a pink envelope from her pocket. Written on there was ‘To Jirou-kun’…

“………”

C-Calm down. Is this…what I think it is?

“Right? No matter how you look at it, this is a love letter.” Kureha muttered, as she blushed even more furiously.

I mean, she’s definitely not wrong. I’m looking at a love letter. It even has a heart symbol on it. But…

“Kureha, when was this given to you?”

“Um…yesterday morning? She wanted me to give this to you this morning, so she gave it to me.”

“……”

…Suspicious. That rich lady supposedly wrote a love letter? She never had such a girly character, oi. I’d rather believe it if this was a scam, or a bomb that went off the second I opened it. Not to mention this timing. Why was there any need to hand it over today?

“A-Anway! I have my own job now, so I’ll see you later, Nii-san! Open it later!” Kureha’s face was still beet red, as she ran out of the room.

Was she that embarrassed? It’s like that letter was directed at her.

“Hmm…”

Now, what should I do about this? If I had to guess, that’s probably a fake love letter. I’ve been plagued by her for half a year, and had my gynophobia used against me, so I am more cautious now.

“Maybe…this might be related to this whole memory incident?

She got this letter yesterday morning. That was still when Suzutsuki had her memories. Maybe this letter has something important written inside of it?

“……”

Change of plans, I’ll read this letter right now. Work can be done later. Maybe I might find a hint to fix this whole mess in there. If I can cure her, she won’t be as clingy to me anymore, and I’ll be freed from this Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD nonsense.

“…Alright.”

Now that has been decided, it’s time to get reading. Bringing it to my room is probably the best way. There, I can be alone, and carefully read through everything…

“…Jirou.”

Right as I wanted to leave the room, Konoe was there. Huh? That’s weird, shouldn’t she have left?

“D-Don’t give me such a weird look. I just sent off the young lady. My job today is to stay in the residence.” She must have been feeling quite awkward, because she explained this with her gaze averted.

Ahhh, I see. So since the old man is gone, and Ichigo-san has to take care of Suzutsuki, there’s no need for Konoe to leave as well.

“More than anything…I saw Kureha-chan practically running away just now, did something happen?”

“Eh…”

“Not to mention that she held an adorable envelope in her hands…” The Butler-kun’s gaze focused on the fake love letter in my hands.

……Yeah, I can’t hide this. I feel like it would be better to read this together with Konoe. This might help us get along better again.

“…Ahh, the thing is, this is a love letter.”

“L-Love letter!?”

“Why are you so shocked?”

“B-Because…! Don’t tell me, did Kureha-chan…!” Butler-kun was whispering to himself.

…This is bad, she’s having a grave misunderstanding right now. Not to mention that I forgot to tell her it’s a fake love letter.

“I’ve underestimated you! To think you and Kureha-chan had that kind of relationship!”

“C-Calm down, this is something Suzutsuki…”

“Yes, I’m sure that the young lady will be disappointed as well!”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then!? I won’t accept this! A forbidden love between siblings, I can’t…!”

“Don’t worry, that’s not what this is.”

“You’re not siblings!? Are you not related by blood!?”

“What kind of gal game setting is that?”

Of course, looking at Kureha like a romantic interest is absolutely impossible. If anything, I can barely see her as a homo sapien. She seems more like a carnivorous beast. It’s like my home is my own small Jurassic Park.

“Damn it, little sisters really are not fair…maybe I should move on to method 7 of the manual, ‘Act as his step-sister’…!?” Butler-kun groaned to herself.

Please, won’t you just calm down. I don’t even get what you’re talking about.

“You’ve been under the wrong impression this entire time. This letter ain’t from Kureha.”

“Eh? But, she gave it to you, right?”

“She was just the middleman.”

“…Then, who?”

“Suzutsuki.”

When I gave an honest answer, Konoe looked like she got hit by a cross counter, and staggered backwards. Following that, she started stuttering like a broken recorder, just going ‘Wha…wha…wha’ the entire time. Don’t tell me, did she get another wrong idea?

“I-I see…So it really was like that…”

“Konoe?”

“Just what have I done…I haven’t realized this entire time…”

“Um, Konoe-san?”

“What should I do…what should I do from now on…”

“……”

No good, she’s not listening to me anymore. Can’t help it, I should just check the contents and prove it to her that way—that this is just a fake love letter, naturally.

“Ah, Jirou! What are you doing!?”

However, right as I wanted to open the envelope, Konoe frantically stopped me. I mean, what do you think I’m doing?

“I was thinking you could join me reading it.”

“L-L-L-Like hell I can! You should read this on your own!”

“But…”

“I don’t have any right to look at that!”

“It’s fine, I’m telling you. I’m opening it up now.”

“Ah, you can’t…!” Konoe frantically hid her eyes, and still looked at the envelope through the gaps between her fingers.

Seems like she’s curious either way. At the same time, I continued to open up the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper.

“…No turning back, okay?”

“…Y-Yeah.” Butler-kun nodded, tension filling her voice.

Slowly, I opened up the folded paper, and was greeted by girly handwriting…

“Jirou, are we really going inside?”

“We got no other option, that’s what it said in the letter.”

“But, just entering the young lady’s room is…”

We stood in the hallway of the Suzutsuki Residence, in front of a single door, where Konoe spoke up with a worried voice.

Open up the drawer of my desk.

Those were the words written on the letter, the words that came from Suzutsuki herself. Naturally, this was Suzutsuki’s room, which had the desk we were looking for. That being the case, we judged it would be our best bet to just check it out.

“Let’s go.”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Y-Yeah…”

I slowly opened the door. Since I slept in here yesterday, I had already gotten used to it. Um, her desk should be…Ah, found it. It was an antique desk, standing in the corner of her room.

“Is this it?”

I confirmed the text in the letter one more time. As expected, it was telling us to open up the drawer, but…

“Which one?” Konoe was lost in her thoughts.

That’s right, there’s three possible drawers to open. All of them are in order, so one of them should be bingo, but wildly guessing is…

“For now, let’s open up the one furthest above.”

“…Alright. My deepest apologies, young lady.” Konoe must have felt guilty, as she apologized towards her master that wasn’t even present.

And then, she silently put her hand on the drawer. Here, we might find a hint on how to cure Suzutsuki’s memory loss. Just by thinking about that, I felt nervous.

“…Here I go.” The alto voice spoke up, and I responded with a confident ‘Yeah’.

There, Konoe opened up the first drawer—which was filled with a great amount of underwear, filling the drawer to the brim.

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah don’t loooook!”

“Guha!?”

Immediately after, an impact shook my body. A butler knuckle fired from Konoe’s golden left beautifully slammed into my cranium.

“Y-You, what was that for!?”

“Shut up! You shouldn’t be looking at something like that!”

“Something like that…”

“I said don’t look!” Butler-kun hid the underwear like she was a mother bird protecting its children.

That’s too late, even now. I already saved HD pictures of that scene in my head. Most of the designs of her underwear were quite mature. They even had ornaments and frills on them…Ahh, how lewd. It resembled a flower garden I was innocently gazing upon…Wait, this isn’t the time for that. More importantly, why does she have underwear in her drawer? Normally, you’d put them into the dresser, right?

“…Hm, this is…”

As I was lost in thought, Konoe seemingly found something. It looked like a small memo she took out from between the underwear. There, it said…

“‘What a shame, you missed’…”

“……”

That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you, she knows to make every little thing a prank. I didn’t think she would set up a trap right here. However, I shall forgive her this once. For a high school boy like me, seeing a girl’s underwear like that is like finding a mine of gold, so I take it.

“N-Next one! We need to find the correct one quickly!”

Konoe seemed to have taken some damage from that at least, as she quickly put her hand on the next drawer…You won’t get me again, Suzutsuki. What will it be this time? A demon? A snake? It probably won’t be underwear again, but we should probably be careful. Being surprised again will give me a heart attack. Once again, Konoe did the honors, and what greeted us was…

“This is…a DVD?”

Indeed, it was a DVD. A disk was left in a plastic box. Next to that was a memo, which said ‘Correct’. Guess we hit bullseye now.

“But, why a DVD…”

“She’s probably telling us to watch this? Luckily, this room has a TV and recorder.”

Basically, this is a video message. To think she put two layers into this.

“Let’s watch it. Maybe there’s some hint there that could help us turn Suzutsuki back to normal.”

“…Yeah.”

Konoe must have been nervous, or because of the kiss the other day, because she still kept an awkward attitude towards me. I put the DVD into the TV deck we had at our disposal inside the room. Luckily, it was a similar one I had at home, so I had no problems setting it up. Though, the actual size of the TV severely beats ours at home. Now I only have to press the play button.

“…Phew.” I took a deep breath in order to calm myself.

I glanced over at Konoe, and she gave me a nod. Feeling my heartbeat accelerate, I pressed the button to play the DVD—

‘Hello there, Jirou-kun. The fact that you’re watching this video means that the love letter reached you.’

What greeted us was a dignified voice, and reflected on the screen was undoubtedly—Suzutsuki Kanade. It was the Suzutsuki before she had lost her memories.

“Young lady…!” Being able to hear her beloved master’s real voice, Konoe started tearing up.

By the way, I was about to cry as well, but for a different reason. Reality truly is cruel. After all, that innocent and cute Derechuki-san would eventually grow up to become someone like her. If only she stayed like that, she would have skipped the whole Yamitsuki-san development, and become a prim and proper young lady. Just, why…

‘Jirou-kun, are you thinking about anything rude by any chance?’

“!?” Hearing the Suzutsuki on the screen throw in a retort, I froze up in shock.

She really is no joke, that Suzutsuki Kanade. Her instincts greatly cross anything you’d expect from an average human. To think she’d throw a retort at me from the past.

‘Well, it’s fine. This isn’t the first time you think something rude about me.’

“Mind your own business.”

‘By the way, did you open up the lowest drawer?’

“Sure didn’t. This DVD was in the second one after all.”

‘If you did, then what a shame. It has a very private picture of Subaru in it.’

“Wha!?”

‘It’s a picture I took before when we cosplayed together.’ Suzutsuki showed an enjoyable smile.

Damn it, so that was the real win? To think she put a rare item in there…

“Jirou, why are you talking with a TV screen…?” Konoe sounded a bit grossed out.

I’m surprised myself. It’s probably because of the retort Suzutsuki threw at me. What a wasted talent that is.

‘…Anyway.’ Suzutsuki let out a sigh. ‘Let’s leave the wasted talk for later. We should focus on the main problem.’ Through the screen, Suzutsuki looked at us, with a determined gaze.

A tense air filled the room. Finally, the girl opened her lips to break through the silence.

‘If the me with you is perfectly sane and the same as always, I will give you ten seconds to turn off this video. I don’t care if you just forget about the video either. However, if there is anything weird going on with me, keep playing this video.’

“……!”

That sounded like a message directed directly at our situation…Yeah, I figured as much. Suzutsuki Kanade, she predicted the arrival of Derechuki-san. She most likely was pointing at her memory loss. In other words, she knows…that she would end up this way.

“…Jirou.” Konoe called out my name.

I know, the choice we should be taking here is…

‘Ten seconds passed.’ With a calm tone, Suzutsuki declared. ‘Since you didn’t stop this video, the me in the future…has gone crazy, right? This is just my guess, but my personality probably returned into one of a child.’

Yeah, that’s right. Her memories are obstructed. The Suzutsuki right now has turned into a young girl who is merely 8 years old. It’s like only her mind travelled in time. But, why did this…

‘Fine, I’ll explain everything to you.’ Suzutsuki opened her mouth. ‘If I had to guess, my memories of a child resurfaced, and took over my current personality. You most likely took me to the hospital to get it checked out, but they probably judged it as unclear. Yeah, there’s no way that the doctors could figure this out. After all…I myself chose to turn back to an 8-year old girl.’ Suzutsuki declared with no hesitation.

“Y-You chose this…” Konoe blinked in confusion in the face of her master’s words.

Of course, I felt the same. This made absolutely no sense. However, in order to fully grasp this situation, we had to listen to her explanation.

‘Everything started with—Usami-san. Didn’t you think it was weird? I declared her as my mortal enemy, and yet I made her a maid here at this residence.’

Yeah, I thought it was weird. We’re talking about Usami Masamune, the one girl who can see through Suzutsuki’s perpetual nonsense, being her natural enemy. Why would she bring her in as a servant…

‘Put simply—it was an experiment.’

“…Experiment?” I subconsciously returned a question to the Suzutsuki on the screen.

‘Basically, I wanted to see what I could do so that Usami-san won’t see through my lies and deception anymore. In other words, I was searching for countermeasures. For that, I had Usami-san become a servant here at our residence, and left her close to me.’

“……”

I see. Now that I think about it, Suzutsuki wouldn’t just leave her natural enemy alone. Knowing her, she would do everything in her power to take care of that nuisance. If anything, thinking of some kind of countermeasure would probably be her most natural thought. But, how is that related to the erasure of her memories?

‘I had this plan for a while now. I was just trying to find the perfect time and place to put it into action. And, the location just turned out to be my residence.’

“……”

‘I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, you know? About what I could do so that that girl won’t see through my lies again. After all of that…Jirou-kun, what do you think I came up with?’

“…Like hell I know.”

Even though I knew it wouldn’t reach her, I still gave my own answer. Yet, Suzutsuki smiled, almost as if she heard my response.

‘Knowing you, Jirou-kun, you probably will say “I don’t know”. Fine, I’ll tell you. The answer I came up with is—deceive even myself.’ She explained with an oddly cold tone.

…Deceive herself? The hell’s up with that? Makes no sense.

‘If you think about it, the answer is simple. Why do you think Usami-san can see through my lies? It’s because she can feel that I am lying. Whenever I lie, I act in a way so that nobody will realize this—but Usami-san is sensitive to that, and realizes what I’m doing.’

“……”

‘That’s why she catches on to my lies. Even if it’s on the level where the average person falls for it, she feels this faint sense of discomfort. In order for me to remove this discomfort—I have to forget the very fact that I am lying at that given moment.’

“Wha…”

I tried my hardest to grasp the words I was just told. So basically…what? Let’s say that this thing Suzutsuki does when she tells nonsense—is ‘acting’. For example, when she attends school as an honor student, that’s also ‘acting’. It’s ‘acting’ so that the people around her don’t realize they are being lied to. Right now, her acting is perfect enough that nobody can see through it. However, Masamune feels that there is acting involved, reacts towards this discomfort, and catched on to the fact that Suzutsuki is lying.

However, if we assume that even Suzutsuki herself forgets that she is lying, then the whole ‘acting’ will disappear as well…

‘Do you understand it now? If Usami-san sees through my acting, I just have to avoid acting all-together. In order to stay natural, I need to forget that I am lying to myself. I need to believe that my lies are the truth. Like this, I deceive myself.

“………”

That’s what it means to deceive even yourself. But, is that really achievable? Being able to even deceive yourself sounds more like a superpower.

‘Honestly speaking, I didn’t know if I could pull it off or not. That’s why I decided on this experiment.’

“……”

‘If you are watching this video right now, I can guess the result already. And, Usami-san probably didn’t manage to see through my lies.’

“……!”

That’s right, Masamune said it when she first saw Suzutsuki.

‘I can’t. Because…right now, Suzutsuki Kanade is not lying.’

Masamune stated that Suzutsuki was not lying. Suzutsuki herself believed that she wasn’t lying, didn’t do her usual ‘acting’, and thus Masamune couldn’t see through it. Basically, what she did was…

“Don’t tell me…you told yourself that you’re a young child, until you fully believed it?”

As I was left baffled, Konoe arrived at the conclusion herself. That’s probably the true secret behind this incident, and why she turned into a child. She never lost her memories, she chose to end up this way.

‘Did you understand it now? I made myself believe that I was just a young child. I decided to put my plan into action whenever some kind of trouble would happen. My actual plan had me falling down the stairs, but how did it turn out?’ Suzutsuki tilted her head as she asked.

Sadly, she was off. According to Ichigo-san, Suzutsuki ended up like this because she collapsed, caused by her anemia. When she woke up in the hospital, she probably thought to herself—Good timing. With this, she didn’t have to fall down the stairs. She simply collapsed because of anemia. That was plenty of a trigger—the trigger to make us believe that she actually suffered from memory loss.

‘When it comes to the method where I could actively lie to myself, it’s a type of self-suggestion, or hypnosis, I guess. EIther way, I succeeded in making myself believe that lie. And, that helped me win against Usami-san. That’s the contents and result of the experiment.’ She finished her explanation.

…Alright, I got the gist of it. But, there’s one thing I don’t understand. If She won against Masamune, why is she still a child right now?

‘However, since I am still a child right now, the experiment is a failure. In my plans, the premise was for the self-suggestion to have worn off by the time you receive the letter from Kureha-chan.’

“……”

‘That’s how I originally set it up…that I would be normal again once I woke up the next morning. Until then I should have figured out that what I said was a lie…However…It ended up as a failure.’ She calmly announced, and let out a sigh. ‘That’s where you come in. This is what’s important.’ She spoke up, as if to brush away this heavy atmosphere.

…That’s right. We’re not done yet. What we want is a method to turn Suzutsuki back to normal.

‘—This is an order, Jirou-kun.’

I bet that not even Konoe could have imagined what was about to happen. The start of everything was Suzutsuki’s order.

‘Turn me back to normal. That is your job as a servant. At this rate, if the worst case arrives, I might stay as a child forever. That’s why, I want you to help cure me from this. Of course, I already came up with a method.’

“A method?”

‘A method to return me back to normal—That is, to satisfy me. I think that, as long as the current me has any sorts of regrets, this probably won’t be fixed. That’s why, if you clear up these lingering attachments, I should be able to turn back to normal.’

“……”

‘Give my younger version lots of attention. Do everything she wants, and then she should be satisfied.’

“……”

‘Also, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell the others about this experiment of mine. I don’t want Subaru and Ichigo, even Kureha-chan to worry too much. Usami-san is my natural enemy, so that can’t be helped.’

“………”

‘You can do it, Jirou-kun. I know you can turn me back to normal, I have faith in you. After all—you are my servant.’ At the very end, Suzutsuki showed an angelic smile.

—Only for the recording to stop. Seems like this was all the DVD had to offer.

“………”

…Sheesh, she really is a selfish brat of a young lady. She wants me to fix her? Force of compliance is what I call that. This is clearly going beyond my work as the odd jobs guy. Even with an overtime bonus, this is going against labour laws. But…

“Konoe.” I carefully opened my mouth. “I…I’ll try to fix this mess Suzutsuki created.”

“……”

“I really don’t want to, but she technically is my master, and having her as a child forever would just be troublesome.”

“……”

“That’s why, Konoe, I want you to help me. I need your help in this. Let’s help Suzutsuki together.”

“……”

Silence followed, but passed soon after.

“Of course.” Konoe nodded like it was nothing. “Jirou, I will help you. Just like you, I’m the young lady’s servant. Not to mention…I’m the young lady’s friend.”

“—Yeah, thanks a lot.”

Despite me honestly thanking Konoe, she for some reason averted her gaze. I guess she’s feeling awkward even now. But, this isn’t the moment to think about that. There’s something more important to do right now. Namely, we need to fix Suzutsuki—

Tralala~la~la~la~laaaa~

Suddenly, I heard a cheerful melody that didn’t fit this tense atmosphere. The sound came from the inside of my pocket, belonging to the famous movie ‘The Godfather’.

“What a timing…” I complained.

That melody was all too familiar, and I had set it up for but one person.

“Ah, hello? Onii-chan.”

Upon accepting the call, I heard a girlish and youthful voice. Indeed, it was the current Suzutsuki Kanade calling me. Of course, with the mind of a child.

“What’s up?” While speaking up, I thought to myself.

Maybe talking to her will give me some kind of hint. That’s why, I need to properly hear her out.

“Well, I just saw an interesting billboard.”

“…Billboard?”

“Yup. Listen, Onii-chan…” Suzutsuki spoke with a voice as sweet as hot chocolate, and brought down her order. “Let’s go to an amusement park!”

1 Picture drama

Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD

In the end, I think that the most important thing for a human being is to eat breakfast. In order to have a fulfilling life and have energy for the day, you can’t miss out on a morning dish. As I am Japanese, I have my own menu, with miso soup, grilled fish, and scrambled eggs being the best. As for the drinks, milk is awesome, it fits unexpectedly well.

Another important factor is that you eat breakfast with other people. When eating alone, you tend to lose the taste of how delicious the breakfast really is, so being with someone else makes it much more delicious, and enjoyable. It sounds like the wishes of a guy in his thirties, but I chose to believe that it’s like that, and live my life accordingly. However, I even think that something is wrong with these members here.

“Wah, Ichigo. So we’re having scrambled eggs for breakfast today!”

“YES, it’s Kanade-ojousama’s favorite.”

“Thank you, it looks very delicious.”

“Kanade-ojousama, please keep your manners in mind.”

“I know that. Thanks for the food…Hm? Onii-chan, aren’t you going to eat?”

“N-No, I will…Thanks for the food…”

Urged by Suzutsuki, I put my hands together…or rather, my paws in my costume. The rule of this family states that servants and master eat together, so we all sit around the table with Suzutsuki. Since I only got microwave rice and pickled radish until yesterday, this was a newfound joy in life.

By the way, we have no school today. Once a year, the school celebrates its opening day, so there were no classes for today, which makes me very happy. If there was one problem…

“What’s wrong, you’re sounding a bit down…Am I heavy?”

“N-No, of course not.” I tried my best to let out a vague smile, but I couldn’t stop sweating profusely.

Right now, my job is to be a chair for Suzutsuki Kanade. I was a simple human chair.

“………”

No, she’s not sitting on me as I was on all fours, or anything like that. She simply sat on my lap. I feel like a father spoiling his daughter. However, because Suzutsuki has the body of a high school girl, it just doesn’t feel right. Honestly speaking, I was too busy trying to endure my gynophobia that I don’t even know what it tastes like, let alone that I can barely eat anyway.

“Hmpf…”

Next to me, Konoe showed a complicated expression. Add Masamune to that as well. Even though we finally got together for some breakfast, the two were just staring at me, not even touching their food.

“Onii-chan. Here, open wide~”

Yet, Suzutsuki had no awareness of this tense atmosphere, as she offered me a croissant. Today’s menu was salad, scrambled eggs, freshly baked croissants, and some hot bacon. Bravo, is all I can say.

“You’re not going to eat anything?”

“No, I’m fine. I can eat on my own.”

“Even though it’s your master’s order?”

“That…”

“Don’t worry, there’s no poison in there.” Derechuki-san showed an angelic smile.

Judging from that attitude, she’s gotten quite attached to me. However, that doesn’t mean I could just ignore Ichigo-san, who glared at me from the opposite side of the table. The way she’s shaking with a knife in hand is terrifying to say the least. I feel like I might be turned into chicken saute if I’m not careful.

“Come on, Onii-chan.”

“Urk…”

Without knowing what I felt, Suzutsuki pushed the fork towards me. Can you not? You’ll be the end of me at this rate. Also, this is an indirect kiss, right? Even if her consciousness is that of a child right now, this is bad for my heart. I feel like she might ask for money after that.

“Onii-chan, eat up?” She spoke with a sweet voice.

…Damn it, this isn’t fair. She actually looks like an innocent child right now. Ahh, Derechuki-san seriously is no joke. Why does she have to grow up like that? If she just kept this personality, she’d be so cute…

“Stupid chicken, you’re grinning.” Because of a sharp voice, I was called back to reality.

Looking over, Masamune gave me a disgruntled and sharp gaze, as she cut up some of her bacon with a knife and fork.

“Lolicon. I didn’t expect you to have this kind of interest.”

“Y-You’re wrong, this is just Suzutsuki and…”

“Aren’t you pretty close now. You even slept in the same bed yesterday, right?”

“Didn’t I just explain everything? Nothing happened. Also, why are you so pissed?”

“Am not. Not at all. I just…don’t want my friend to be a lolicon, that’s all. There’s no other reason besides that.” She said, and munched up the bacon.

Well, I don’t want to be regarded as a lolicon. But, I feel like the universe is tempting me recently, with Schrö-senpai and Derechuki-san. I need to make sure I don’t lose myself.

“Oh, that’s right. Suzutsuki Kanade, I made something good for you.” As the breakfast had progressed further, Masamune suddenly spoke up.

“Eh? Something good?”

“A kamishibai1.”

“Ohh, that’s pretty cool, Usamin.”

“Would you like to take a look?”

“Yup!” Suzutsuki energetically responded as she sat on my lap.

A kamishibai…now that’s quite old-school. But, why now? We’re eating.

“Here, let’s start then.” Masamune took out drawn pictures from beneath her chair, and the title on the first one was… “The title is ‘Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan’.”

“……”

Um, Masamune-san, I feel like this title will negatively influence her education.

“I’ll give you a simple explanation of the story. It’s a success story of Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan, who fight their common enemy, the Lolicon Straw Doll.”

“Waaaah, it really is a straw doll! But, it looks a bit weird. It resembles someone I know. Onii-chan, do you know who that could be?”

“N-No idea.” I gave a vague response.

After all, that Lolicon Straw Doll looks exactly like me. It was in a more comic style because it was drawn, but it was wearing glasses, and on its chest, it said ‘Chicken Bastard’.

“Hey, Masamune, are you bullying me now?”

“Of course not. They often do this in grade school, right? This is just another type of education. The whole ‘You shouldn’t talk to strangers’ thing, remember.”

“But why did I turn into the enemy!?”

“With Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan’s special combined attack ‘Cursing Ritual’, the Lolicon Straw Doll will forever suffer in hell.”

“Stop with that ominous naming!”

My chest actually started to hurt now. Her naming sense is the worst. Imagine fighting against the Silent Sheep.

“…I see, if you dislike it that much, I’ll stop.”

“Eh…?”

Surprisingly enough, Masamune put away the pictures. Ahh, thank god. I really don’t want to see a character based on me being beat up…

“Then, let’s move on to the second project. ‘Hammer-kun and Long Nail-chan 3D’.”

“3D!?”

“This is the enemy character Lolicon Straw Doll.”

“Ohhh! Amazing! It’s in 3D! I can see it standing there…Wait hold on! That’s just a normal straw doll, right!?” I threw in a retort.

What do you mean 3D? She just took out an actual straw doll from beneath her chair.

“Also, where did you even get the straw from?”

“It’s natto.”

“Natto!?”

“I used the one we had here. Though, I had to eat the natto for that.”

“You clearly didn’t have to go that far!”

“I really hate natto…”

“What a cute weakness that is!”

“D-Don’t blame me! Also, what!? Do you want to see my body slimy and sticky from it!? How much of a pervert are you!?”

“You’re the pervert here!”

How did you even come up with that? Also, why did you force yourself to eat it? Is your hate for me stronger than that?

“I tried really hard…I thought that, if I made that doll, it might scare Suzutsuki Kanade…and then, she would hopefully back down a bit…”

“……”

I see, so her target was Derechuki-san. I guess it would be rare for children to like straw dolls, but did that plan work out…?

“However, leaving this to waste would be such a shame, so I’ll be using this straw doll for a real curse ritual.”

“Waaaah, it’s the climax!”

“Stop that already! That’s not something you should show to a child!”

“Shut up, stupid chicken. If you cause any more of a ruckus, I’ll make sure your life reaches its climax as well.”

“Don’t say scary stuff like that! Damn it, now that’s come to this…!”

“Ah, hey! What are you doing!?”

I forcefully stole the straw doll from Masamune, who sat next to me. Like hell I’d accept being cursed here. This definitely doesn’t count for education.

“Geez, I worked on this an entire night…”

“You could have just, you know, slept?”

“That is also…your fault…” Masamune puffed out her lips, and started complaining.

Why would that be my fault? I’m not a lolicon, and the reason I slept in the same bed as Suzutsuki is because she ordered me to.

“But, it’s fine. I still have other straw dolls.”

“What the hell is this?!”

“Look, so many.”

Masamune said, and took out a cardboard box filled with straw dolls from beneath her chair, and…Waaaaaaaaaaah!? How many is that!? It’s like a small army!

“And? Shocked, right?”

“Of course!?”

“If only your heart could just stop like that.”

“You are asking for it!?”

“Ah, Newcomer, give me one as well.”

“What do you plan on doing with that, Ichigo-san!?”

“Just trying to relieve some of my stress. But, I don’t need a hammer. I have this after all.”

“Don’t bring out a chainsaw at the dining table!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Masamune silently handed Ichigo-san a straw doll. These two are dangerous. She seems to hold a grudge against me because I slept in the same bed as Suzutsuki. She’s emitting clear hostility. Damn it, I really need an ally now.

“Kureha, can you say something to them?”

“Eh? Me?”

“Yeah. You’re my little sister, so you should know, right?”

“…Yeah, I do.” Kureha nodded strongly.

That’s right, she’s my blood-related younger sister. Usually she just uses me as a punching bag, but I have to count on her during times like these…

“Usamin-senpai, give me one as well.”

“Kureha-san!?”

“Nii-san, I’m worried about you, okay? This is just to prevent you becoming a lolicon.”

“The way you worry is messed up, you hear me!?”

“Then, should I try some wrestling moves instead?”

“Do you want me to suffer that badly!?”

Come on now, I don’t want to indirectly feel you pulling wrestling moves on that straw doll. Also, how will that even stop me from being a lolicon? If it had that kind of ability, it would have won the Nobel Prize by now.

“Onii-chan, they really are close, huh.”

I don’t know if she even knew what was going on, but the young lady said these words with appreciation in her tone. I however wholeheartedly agreed. It’s crazy that all of those maids were emitting full-blown hostility. I feel like the sole survivor in a zombie movie. Around me are only enemies. If I were to give this situation a title, it would be ‘Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD’.

“Damn it…”

I looked towards Konoe, since she was the only person who hadn’t turned into a zombie yet—But the second our eyes met, she immediately averted her gaze in embarrassment. What a blunt attitude. Worse of all is that she’s been like this the moment I woke up. It appears as if she didn’t want to talk with me because of what happened yesterday. I still haven’t properly apologized for the incident with the kiss…Can’t we just make up already…

“Thanks for the food. Now, everyone, I’m counting on you today again.”

Eventually, the breakfast ended, and us servants had our respective jobs to fulfill. Then again, my job today was to simply do some cleaning, and I know it can’t be helped with how big this residence is.

“Let’s go, Ichigo.”

“Understood. Subaru, the preparations?”

“All done.”

Suzutsuki, Ichigo-san, and Konoe got up from their seats, and left the room. Oh yeah, she had another check-up in the hospital, right. This time they’re apparently leaving for a hospital outside of town. They’re probably trying everything they can to deal with Suzutsuki’s sudden memory loss.

“Stupid chicken, you get to working already.” While saying so, Masamune carried the dishes to the kitchen.

Her job is to clean dishes and make lunch for later. Since she’s skilled at housework, it was an easy feat.

“…Alright, time to get to work.” I whispered briefly, and motivated myself.

Normally I should be thinking about possible ways to cure Suzutsuki, but…In my current situation, there’s not much I can do, so I should probably just get some work done at least. After all, I’m a servant at this residence right now. I may not have the most important role, but I at least have to properly fulfill that.

“Nii-san.”

Right as I was thinking that, Kureha disrupted my thoughts.

“What’s up? If you want to try some wrestling moves, let’s do that later.”

Since I woke up next to Konoe, she probably held back on waking me up as always. It’s been a while since I had such a peaceful morning. Couldn’t expect anything like that in the hellish home I live in.

“No, there’s something I wanted to talk with you about.”

“Oh, really?”

“Remember how I said that Onee-sama might have feelings for you? The thing is…I actually had a proper reason for that.”

“Reason…it wasn’t just your intuition…?”

“Y-Yeah…Um, it’s about this!” Kureha seemed oddly flustered, as she took out a pink envelope from her pocket. Written on there was ‘To Jirou-kun’…

“………”

C-Calm down. Is this…what I think it is?

“Right? No matter how you look at it, this is a love letter.” Kureha muttered, as she blushed even more furiously.

I mean, she’s definitely not wrong. I’m looking at a love letter. It even has a heart symbol on it. But…

“Kureha, when was this given to you?”

“Um…yesterday morning? She wanted me to give this to you this morning, so she gave it to me.”

“……”

…Suspicious. That rich lady supposedly wrote a love letter? She never had such a girly character, oi. I’d rather believe it if this was a scam, or a bomb that went off the second I opened it. Not to mention this timing. Why was there any need to hand it over today?

“A-Anway! I have my own job now, so I’ll see you later, Nii-san! Open it later!” Kureha’s face was still beet red, as she ran out of the room.

Was she that embarrassed? It’s like that letter was directed at her.

“Hmm…”

Now, what should I do about this? If I had to guess, that’s probably a fake love letter. I’ve been plagued by her for half a year, and had my gynophobia used against me, so I am more cautious now.

“Maybe…this might be related to this whole memory incident?

She got this letter yesterday morning. That was still when Suzutsuki had her memories. Maybe this letter has something important written inside of it?

“……”

Change of plans, I’ll read this letter right now. Work can be done later. Maybe I might find a hint to fix this whole mess in there. If I can cure her, she won’t be as clingy to me anymore, and I’ll be freed from this Suzutsuki Residence OF THE DEAD nonsense.

“…Alright.”

Now that has been decided, it’s time to get reading. Bringing it to my room is probably the best way. There, I can be alone, and carefully read through everything…

“…Jirou.”

Right as I wanted to leave the room, Konoe was there. Huh? That’s weird, shouldn’t she have left?

“D-Don’t give me such a weird look. I just sent off the young lady. My job today is to stay in the residence.” She must have been feeling quite awkward, because she explained this with her gaze averted.

Ahhh, I see. So since the old man is gone, and Ichigo-san has to take care of Suzutsuki, there’s no need for Konoe to leave as well.

“More than anything…I saw Kureha-chan practically running away just now, did something happen?”

“Eh…”

“Not to mention that she held an adorable envelope in her hands…” The Butler-kun’s gaze focused on the fake love letter in my hands.

……Yeah, I can’t hide this. I feel like it would be better to read this together with Konoe. This might help us get along better again.

“…Ahh, the thing is, this is a love letter.”

“L-Love letter!?”

“Why are you so shocked?”

“B-Because…! Don’t tell me, did Kureha-chan…!” Butler-kun was whispering to himself.

…This is bad, she’s having a grave misunderstanding right now. Not to mention that I forgot to tell her it’s a fake love letter.

“I’ve underestimated you! To think you and Kureha-chan had that kind of relationship!”

“C-Calm down, this is something Suzutsuki…”

“Yes, I’m sure that the young lady will be disappointed as well!”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then!? I won’t accept this! A forbidden love between siblings, I can’t…!”

“Don’t worry, that’s not what this is.”

“You’re not siblings!? Are you not related by blood!?”

“What kind of gal game setting is that?”

Of course, looking at Kureha like a romantic interest is absolutely impossible. If anything, I can barely see her as a homo sapien. She seems more like a carnivorous beast. It’s like my home is my own small Jurassic Park.

“Damn it, little sisters really are not fair…maybe I should move on to method 7 of the manual, ‘Act as his step-sister’…!?” Butler-kun groaned to herself.

Please, won’t you just calm down. I don’t even get what you’re talking about.

“You’ve been under the wrong impression this entire time. This letter ain’t from Kureha.”

“Eh? But, she gave it to you, right?”

“She was just the middleman.”

“…Then, who?”

“Suzutsuki.”

When I gave an honest answer, Konoe looked like she got hit by a cross counter, and staggered backwards. Following that, she started stuttering like a broken recorder, just going ‘Wha…wha…wha’ the entire time. Don’t tell me, did she get another wrong idea?

“I-I see…So it really was like that…”

“Konoe?”

“Just what have I done…I haven’t realized this entire time…”

“Um, Konoe-san?”

“What should I do…what should I do from now on…”

“……”

No good, she’s not listening to me anymore. Can’t help it, I should just check the contents and prove it to her that way—that this is just a fake love letter, naturally.

“Ah, Jirou! What are you doing!?”

However, right as I wanted to open the envelope, Konoe frantically stopped me. I mean, what do you think I’m doing?

“I was thinking you could join me reading it.”

“L-L-L-Like hell I can! You should read this on your own!”

“But…”

“I don’t have any right to look at that!”

“It’s fine, I’m telling you. I’m opening it up now.”

“Ah, you can’t…!” Konoe frantically hid her eyes, and still looked at the envelope through the gaps between her fingers.

Seems like she’s curious either way. At the same time, I continued to open up the envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper.

“…No turning back, okay?”

“…Y-Yeah.” Butler-kun nodded, tension filling her voice.

Slowly, I opened up the folded paper, and was greeted by girly handwriting…

“Jirou, are we really going inside?”

“We got no other option, that’s what it said in the letter.”

“But, just entering the young lady’s room is…”

We stood in the hallway of the Suzutsuki Residence, in front of a single door, where Konoe spoke up with a worried voice.

Open up the drawer of my desk.

Those were the words written on the letter, the words that came from Suzutsuki herself. Naturally, this was Suzutsuki’s room, which had the desk we were looking for. That being the case, we judged it would be our best bet to just check it out.

“Let’s go.”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Y-Yeah…”

I slowly opened the door. Since I slept in here yesterday, I had already gotten used to it. Um, her desk should be…Ah, found it. It was an antique desk, standing in the corner of her room.

“Is this it?”

I confirmed the text in the letter one more time. As expected, it was telling us to open up the drawer, but…

“Which one?” Konoe was lost in her thoughts.

That’s right, there’s three possible drawers to open. All of them are in order, so one of them should be bingo, but wildly guessing is…

“For now, let’s open up the one furthest above.”

“…Alright. My deepest apologies, young lady.” Konoe must have felt guilty, as she apologized towards her master that wasn’t even present.

And then, she silently put her hand on the drawer. Here, we might find a hint on how to cure Suzutsuki’s memory loss. Just by thinking about that, I felt nervous.

“…Here I go.” The alto voice spoke up, and I responded with a confident ‘Yeah’.

There, Konoe opened up the first drawer—which was filled with a great amount of underwear, filling the drawer to the brim.

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah don’t loooook!”

“Guha!?”

Immediately after, an impact shook my body. A butler knuckle fired from Konoe’s golden left beautifully slammed into my cranium.

“Y-You, what was that for!?”

“Shut up! You shouldn’t be looking at something like that!”

“Something like that…”

“I said don’t look!” Butler-kun hid the underwear like she was a mother bird protecting its children.

That’s too late, even now. I already saved HD pictures of that scene in my head. Most of the designs of her underwear were quite mature. They even had ornaments and frills on them…Ahh, how lewd. It resembled a flower garden I was innocently gazing upon…Wait, this isn’t the time for that. More importantly, why does she have underwear in her drawer? Normally, you’d put them into the dresser, right?

“…Hm, this is…”

As I was lost in thought, Konoe seemingly found something. It looked like a small memo she took out from between the underwear. There, it said…

“‘What a shame, you missed’…”

“……”

That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you, she knows to make every little thing a prank. I didn’t think she would set up a trap right here. However, I shall forgive her this once. For a high school boy like me, seeing a girl’s underwear like that is like finding a mine of gold, so I take it.

“N-Next one! We need to find the correct one quickly!”

Konoe seemed to have taken some damage from that at least, as she quickly put her hand on the next drawer…You won’t get me again, Suzutsuki. What will it be this time? A demon? A snake? It probably won’t be underwear again, but we should probably be careful. Being surprised again will give me a heart attack. Once again, Konoe did the honors, and what greeted us was…

“This is…a DVD?”

Indeed, it was a DVD. A disk was left in a plastic box. Next to that was a memo, which said ‘Correct’. Guess we hit bullseye now.

“But, why a DVD…”

“She’s probably telling us to watch this? Luckily, this room has a TV and recorder.”

Basically, this is a video message. To think she put two layers into this.

“Let’s watch it. Maybe there’s some hint there that could help us turn Suzutsuki back to normal.”

“…Yeah.”

Konoe must have been nervous, or because of the kiss the other day, because she still kept an awkward attitude towards me. I put the DVD into the TV deck we had at our disposal inside the room. Luckily, it was a similar one I had at home, so I had no problems setting it up. Though, the actual size of the TV severely beats ours at home. Now I only have to press the play button.

“…Phew.” I took a deep breath in order to calm myself.

I glanced over at Konoe, and she gave me a nod. Feeling my heartbeat accelerate, I pressed the button to play the DVD—

‘Hello there, Jirou-kun. The fact that you’re watching this video means that the love letter reached you.’

What greeted us was a dignified voice, and reflected on the screen was undoubtedly—Suzutsuki Kanade. It was the Suzutsuki before she had lost her memories.

“Young lady…!” Being able to hear her beloved master’s real voice, Konoe started tearing up.

By the way, I was about to cry as well, but for a different reason. Reality truly is cruel. After all, that innocent and cute Derechuki-san would eventually grow up to become someone like her. If only she stayed like that, she would have skipped the whole Yamitsuki-san development, and become a prim and proper young lady. Just, why…

‘Jirou-kun, are you thinking about anything rude by any chance?’

“!?” Hearing the Suzutsuki on the screen throw in a retort, I froze up in shock.

She really is no joke, that Suzutsuki Kanade. Her instincts greatly cross anything you’d expect from an average human. To think she’d throw a retort at me from the past.

‘Well, it’s fine. This isn’t the first time you think something rude about me.’

“Mind your own business.”

‘By the way, did you open up the lowest drawer?’

“Sure didn’t. This DVD was in the second one after all.”

‘If you did, then what a shame. It has a very private picture of Subaru in it.’

“Wha!?”

‘It’s a picture I took before when we cosplayed together.’ Suzutsuki showed an enjoyable smile.

Damn it, so that was the real win? To think she put a rare item in there…

“Jirou, why are you talking with a TV screen…?” Konoe sounded a bit grossed out.

I’m surprised myself. It’s probably because of the retort Suzutsuki threw at me. What a wasted talent that is.

‘…Anyway.’ Suzutsuki let out a sigh. ‘Let’s leave the wasted talk for later. We should focus on the main problem.’ Through the screen, Suzutsuki looked at us, with a determined gaze.

A tense air filled the room. Finally, the girl opened her lips to break through the silence.

‘If the me with you is perfectly sane and the same as always, I will give you ten seconds to turn off this video. I don’t care if you just forget about the video either. However, if there is anything weird going on with me, keep playing this video.’

“……!”

That sounded like a message directed directly at our situation…Yeah, I figured as much. Suzutsuki Kanade, she predicted the arrival of Derechuki-san. She most likely was pointing at her memory loss. In other words, she knows…that she would end up this way.

“…Jirou.” Konoe called out my name.

I know, the choice we should be taking here is…

‘Ten seconds passed.’ With a calm tone, Suzutsuki declared. ‘Since you didn’t stop this video, the me in the future…has gone crazy, right? This is just my guess, but my personality probably returned into one of a child.’

Yeah, that’s right. Her memories are obstructed. The Suzutsuki right now has turned into a young girl who is merely 8 years old. It’s like only her mind travelled in time. But, why did this…

‘Fine, I’ll explain everything to you.’ Suzutsuki opened her mouth. ‘If I had to guess, my memories of a child resurfaced, and took over my current personality. You most likely took me to the hospital to get it checked out, but they probably judged it as unclear. Yeah, there’s no way that the doctors could figure this out. After all…I myself chose to turn back to an 8-year old girl.’ Suzutsuki declared with no hesitation.

“Y-You chose this…” Konoe blinked in confusion in the face of her master’s words.

Of course, I felt the same. This made absolutely no sense. However, in order to fully grasp this situation, we had to listen to her explanation.

‘Everything started with—Usami-san. Didn’t you think it was weird? I declared her as my mortal enemy, and yet I made her a maid here at this residence.’

Yeah, I thought it was weird. We’re talking about Usami Masamune, the one girl who can see through Suzutsuki’s perpetual nonsense, being her natural enemy. Why would she bring her in as a servant…

‘Put simply—it was an experiment.’

“…Experiment?” I subconsciously returned a question to the Suzutsuki on the screen.

‘Basically, I wanted to see what I could do so that Usami-san won’t see through my lies and deception anymore. In other words, I was searching for countermeasures. For that, I had Usami-san become a servant here at our residence, and left her close to me.’

“……”

I see. Now that I think about it, Suzutsuki wouldn’t just leave her natural enemy alone. Knowing her, she would do everything in her power to take care of that nuisance. If anything, thinking of some kind of countermeasure would probably be her most natural thought. But, how is that related to the erasure of her memories?

‘I had this plan for a while now. I was just trying to find the perfect time and place to put it into action. And, the location just turned out to be my residence.’

“……”

‘I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, you know? About what I could do so that that girl won’t see through my lies again. After all of that…Jirou-kun, what do you think I came up with?’

“…Like hell I know.”

Even though I knew it wouldn’t reach her, I still gave my own answer. Yet, Suzutsuki smiled, almost as if she heard my response.

‘Knowing you, Jirou-kun, you probably will say “I don’t know”. Fine, I’ll tell you. The answer I came up with is—deceive even myself.’ She explained with an oddly cold tone.

…Deceive herself? The hell’s up with that? Makes no sense.

‘If you think about it, the answer is simple. Why do you think Usami-san can see through my lies? It’s because she can feel that I am lying. Whenever I lie, I act in a way so that nobody will realize this—but Usami-san is sensitive to that, and realizes what I’m doing.’

“……”

‘That’s why she catches on to my lies. Even if it’s on the level where the average person falls for it, she feels this faint sense of discomfort. In order for me to remove this discomfort—I have to forget the very fact that I am lying at that given moment.’

“Wha…”

I tried my hardest to grasp the words I was just told. So basically…what? Let’s say that this thing Suzutsuki does when she tells nonsense—is ‘acting’. For example, when she attends school as an honor student, that’s also ‘acting’. It’s ‘acting’ so that the people around her don’t realize they are being lied to. Right now, her acting is perfect enough that nobody can see through it. However, Masamune feels that there is acting involved, reacts towards this discomfort, and catched on to the fact that Suzutsuki is lying.

However, if we assume that even Suzutsuki herself forgets that she is lying, then the whole ‘acting’ will disappear as well…

‘Do you understand it now? If Usami-san sees through my acting, I just have to avoid acting all-together. In order to stay natural, I need to forget that I am lying to myself. I need to believe that my lies are the truth. Like this, I deceive myself.

“………”

That’s what it means to deceive even yourself. But, is that really achievable? Being able to even deceive yourself sounds more like a superpower.

‘Honestly speaking, I didn’t know if I could pull it off or not. That’s why I decided on this experiment.’

“……”

‘If you are watching this video right now, I can guess the result already. And, Usami-san probably didn’t manage to see through my lies.’

“……!”

That’s right, Masamune said it when she first saw Suzutsuki.

‘I can’t. Because…right now, Suzutsuki Kanade is not lying.’

Masamune stated that Suzutsuki was not lying. Suzutsuki herself believed that she wasn’t lying, didn’t do her usual ‘acting’, and thus Masamune couldn’t see through it. Basically, what she did was…

“Don’t tell me…you told yourself that you’re a young child, until you fully believed it?”

As I was left baffled, Konoe arrived at the conclusion herself. That’s probably the true secret behind this incident, and why she turned into a child. She never lost her memories, she chose to end up this way.

‘Did you understand it now? I made myself believe that I was just a young child. I decided to put my plan into action whenever some kind of trouble would happen. My actual plan had me falling down the stairs, but how did it turn out?’ Suzutsuki tilted her head as she asked.

Sadly, she was off. According to Ichigo-san, Suzutsuki ended up like this because she collapsed, caused by her anemia. When she woke up in the hospital, she probably thought to herself—Good timing. With this, she didn’t have to fall down the stairs. She simply collapsed because of anemia. That was plenty of a trigger—the trigger to make us believe that she actually suffered from memory loss.

‘When it comes to the method where I could actively lie to myself, it’s a type of self-suggestion, or hypnosis, I guess. EIther way, I succeeded in making myself believe that lie. And, that helped me win against Usami-san. That’s the contents and result of the experiment.’ She finished her explanation.

…Alright, I got the gist of it. But, there’s one thing I don’t understand. If She won against Masamune, why is she still a child right now?

‘However, since I am still a child right now, the experiment is a failure. In my plans, the premise was for the self-suggestion to have worn off by the time you receive the letter from Kureha-chan.’

“……”

‘That’s how I originally set it up…that I would be normal again once I woke up the next morning. Until then I should have figured out that what I said was a lie…However…It ended up as a failure.’ She calmly announced, and let out a sigh. ‘That’s where you come in. This is what’s important.’ She spoke up, as if to brush away this heavy atmosphere.

…That’s right. We’re not done yet. What we want is a method to turn Suzutsuki back to normal.

‘—This is an order, Jirou-kun.’

I bet that not even Konoe could have imagined what was about to happen. The start of everything was Suzutsuki’s order.

‘Turn me back to normal. That is your job as a servant. At this rate, if the worst case arrives, I might stay as a child forever. That’s why, I want you to help cure me from this. Of course, I already came up with a method.’

“A method?”

‘A method to return me back to normal—That is, to satisfy me. I think that, as long as the current me has any sorts of regrets, this probably won’t be fixed. That’s why, if you clear up these lingering attachments, I should be able to turn back to normal.’

“……”

‘Give my younger version lots of attention. Do everything she wants, and then she should be satisfied.’

“……”

‘Also, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell the others about this experiment of mine. I don’t want Subaru and Ichigo, even Kureha-chan to worry too much. Usami-san is my natural enemy, so that can’t be helped.’

“………”

‘You can do it, Jirou-kun. I know you can turn me back to normal, I have faith in you. After all—you are my servant.’ At the very end, Suzutsuki showed an angelic smile.

—Only for the recording to stop. Seems like this was all the DVD had to offer.

“………”

…Sheesh, she really is a selfish brat of a young lady. She wants me to fix her? Force of compliance is what I call that. This is clearly going beyond my work as the odd jobs guy. Even with an overtime bonus, this is going against labour laws. But…

“Konoe.” I carefully opened my mouth. “I…I’ll try to fix this mess Suzutsuki created.”

“……”

“I really don’t want to, but she technically is my master, and having her as a child forever would just be troublesome.”

“……”

“That’s why, Konoe, I want you to help me. I need your help in this. Let’s help Suzutsuki together.”

“……”
Silence followed, but passed soon after.

“Of course.” Konoe nodded like it was nothing. “Jirou, I will help you. Just like you, I’m the young lady’s servant. Not to mention…I’m the young lady’s friend.”

“—Yeah, thanks a lot.”

Despite me honestly thanking Konoe, she for some reason averted her gaze. I guess she’s feeling awkward even now. But, this isn’t the moment to think about that. There’s something more important to do right now. Namely, we need to fix Suzutsuki—

Tralala~la~la~la~laaaa~

Suddenly, I heard a cheerful melody that didn’t fit this tense atmosphere. The sound came from the inside of my pocket, belonging to the famous movie ‘The Godfather’.

“What a timing…” I complained.

That melody was all too familiar, and I had set it up for but one person.

“Ah, hello? Onii-chan.”

Upon accepting the call, I heard a girlish and youthful voice. Indeed, it was the current Suzutsuki Kanade calling me. Of course, with the mind of a child.

“What’s up?” While speaking up, I thought to myself.

Maybe talking to her will give me some kind of hint. That’s why, I need to properly hear her out.

“Well, I just saw an interesting billboard.”

“…Billboard?”

“Yup. Listen, Onii-chan…” Suzutsuki spoke with a voice as sweet as hot chocolate, and brought down her order. “Let’s go to an amusement park!”

1 Picture drama