My New Isekai!

"Kazuma...?" Eris said with a confused look.

"Ah, finally got to me, eh?"

"Yeah," Eris said with a chuckle.

"Yeah...I kinda died helping my friend." I said, putting my hand behind my head and laughing.

"I can see. Your friend was distraught for days. He didn't leave his room at all."

"For real? Sounds like something I'd do."

Eris laughed again, "It does, Kazuma."

"Well, I guess it's time for me to be reincarnated back to earth, ain't it?"

"Normally, I'd say yes. But you, Satou Kazuma have broken the rules so many times that you're not allowed back into Japan or anywhere else on your original planet."

"Ah, so Heaven…?"

"No. You're going back."

"Wait. What?"

"You're going back, Kazuma."

"But, why?!"

"Because for some reason, they won't let you anywhere else. They feel this is the only place where you're contained."

"So, not even Hell can be able to control me? I like it." I said with my hand covering my chin in agreement.

Eris raised her hand, "Don't move. By the way, you're stuck in a hole. So, get ready to get out."

"Wait, repeat that again." I said getting dragged into the floor and appearing in a dug hole.

What the hell?! They did graves this fast?! Whatever, I dug at the dirt, slowly making my way to the surface.

It took me hours before I could actually get out. It was completely pitch black.

"God. That's way more effort than what I got for it…"

Before anything else, I heard a scream. "Zombie!!!"

I looked at the source of the scream and saw Wiz.

"Calm down, Wiz. It's me, Kazuma!"

"Kazuma…?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm back, and looking as perfect as ever, ain't I?"

"Sure, wait, how are you back anyways?!"

"No place wants me in them. Heaven, Hell, Earth, nowhere wants me." I said with a ear to ear smile.

"Um... okay…? Well, are you going back to Megumin, Kura, and Haru?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm not starting again in this god forsaken place."

Wiz laughed. "Have fun, Kazuma."

"Yeah, you too."

I walked past Wiz and walked in the direction of the mansion. I was thinking of how I should say I'm back. "Maybe a Steal? Nah, how about I use Lurk?" I mumbled to myself.

Before I knew it, I was back to the mansion. I used Lurk and entered the house sneakily. Megumin, Haru, and Kura were all in the same room. But it looked as if Haru had been stroked down. Not revealing myself, I stood at Haru at the ground and saw his hands getting covered in black liquid-like stuff.

Everyone looked shocked, including me. But the black stuff went away and Haru came up with beaten up hands.

After they talked about how Haru has defeated four Demon King Generals, I used Steal quietly and stole Megumin's p.a.n.t.i.e.s.

"What the…?" Megumin said with an extremely red face.

Everybody looked around but only saw p.a.n.t.i.e.s floating in the air.

"""Kazuma…?"""

I went out of Lurk. "That obvious?"

Everyone looked bewildered at my appearance. """How are you here?!!?"""

"I came back?"

"That's not what we meant, Kazuma!" Megumin said, running towards me with a slap.

"Calm down!" I said as I rubbed the red handprint on my face.

She took her p.a.n.t.i.e.s back, and went upstairs.

"Dad... how are you back…?"

"The God's wanted to keep blessing this world with my precious presence."

I looked over to Haru, staring at me as if I was a ghost.

"Hey, Haru. Remember how I said I died and came back? Well, I got buddies up there." I said with a wink.

"W- w...wow…" Haru managed to say. Almost in the brink of tears. "Welcome back," he said with a smile.

"I'm glad to be back. Couldn't imagine leaving this place."

Haru looked over to Kura. "I'm going to go upstairs. You two can talk." he said before he ran upstairs, as well.

"Well, dad…"

"Yes, Kura?"

"Why did you have to scare me and mom like that…?"

"Oh, you mean by the p.a.n.t.i.e.s thing? It was good, right?"

"Not what I meant!! I meant dying. You left us for days. Then, come back suddenly?!"

"Kura, I'm sorry…" I said lending my hand out to Kura, who was now crying.

Kura pushed my hand away and leaped onto me, giving me a hug. "Don't leave me ever again!!!" she said with tears flowing down her face.

"... Don't worry… I won't…"