Not So Confident

Yi Fan was listening to some hip hop beats with his black and red headset as he went into another round of LUL. He moved his fingers along like a piano, lightly pressing on the keys. With the right amount of pressure, you would save a bit of time. The time will acc.u.mulate and may let you win against an equal opponent.

The reason Yi Fan was home earlier was because baseball practice canceled because Coach was out sick. Apparently, it was a rather heavy flu. However, knowing Coach's personality, Yi Fan knew that Coach had more than just a flu. Yi Fan hoped he went to the hospital for at least a check-up.

"Mm... immebugun... retc."

He heard quiet murmurs outside his door. Suddenly, he put down his headset and quit the game.

'What... is that noise?' Yi Fan thought.

He slowly got up from his seat, tip toeing towards his wooden door. Yi Fan grabbed the worn baseball bat on the floor, fiercely clenching with one hand. He slowly put his large ear on the wooden door, trying to hear the other side.

"Whole neighborhood. Whole school... Right?"

'Yi Fei?' Yi Fan immediately was relieved, calming down. He thought the voice was a ghost or burglar and was prepared to fight. Being home alone was rather scary for anyone, and it always helped to have a family member or friend by your side.

'Is Yi Fei talking to a friend?' Yi Fan started to open the door out of curiosity, he had never seen Yi Fei's friends before. He peeked through the little gap, not wanting to bother Yi Fei. He knew Yi Fei didn't particularly like the sight of him.

However, he only saw his sister broken down in tears, kneeling next to the landline. She was whimpering, holding her tears back by biting her lip. Her quivering lip was bruised from the many years of abuse.

"Yi Fei..." He whispered with tenderness, but immediately closed his mouth.

Yi Fan didn't know what to do. Trying to approach her would only make the situation worse. A pang of pain held still in his heart, helpless to do anything. He respected Yi Fei's privacy and gently closed the door. He sighed, staring at his computer. He could still hear Yi Fei speak, but not clearly enough for him to hear what she was saying.

Soon after, he could hear Yi Fei banging the thin wall. It was constant and heavy. She vocalized a raw grunt every time she slammed the wall. He could almost see right through the wall as if it was transparent. An aching, nagging feeling made his c.h.e.s.t heavy. Yi Fan gritted his teeth.

"Who did this to her?" He briskly muttered under his breath, clenching the baseball bat that was still in his hand. "Was it... me?"

Yi Fan's mouth dropped and he suddenly widened his eyes as if he just realized something. He scanned through the room with his coffee-brown eyes, finally landing on his mini calendar on his shelf.

"Mom's birthday?" Yi Fan commented. He became appeased as his shoulders comfortably went down. However, he realized what he was doing. He got relieved. That-

That he wasn't the reason Yi Fei was crying.

"How ruthless am I..?"

Yi Fan still remembered what he did back then. He knew why Yi Fei hated him. Before, they were a pair of siblings that seemed to never fight and always played with each other. They stuck to each other like glue, like birds of a flock. But he was younger back then and was so easily influenced by others. In the end, Yi Fan did something so unimaginable to Yi Fei that it left a imperishable scar. If it wasn't for that boy...

Yi Fan wished to turn back time and tell his younger self to wake up. Wake up from all the mess and look at what truly mattered.