Re: Death - Reincarnated Dead Into Another World

Chapter 36 - 30: What do You See in Me?

Three days have passed since I acquired my new 'trap' body. What is a trap body you mean?

Explanation Time!

(A 'trap' is a type of character definition in a Japanese animation where the character's gender appears to be that of a female but is actually a male biologically.)

Now you know.

So, yeah. I look like a trap right now. I have my junior and I don't have any b.o.o.b.s, but appearance-wise, I look like an ordinary woman.

As of now, there haven't been any complications or the likes with this body of mine. I perform almost the same as when I did when I was still a human being. The only weird thing is by having a tail, which was something I obviously didn't have back when I was a human. That's why, some of my movements have changed.

Whenever I sit, I have to move it so that I won't accidentally sit on it. It actually hurts when I sit on it, so I really have to make sure I don't. It's a wonder how I know how to move it, but it looks like I can as if it's the most natural thing to do in the world.

I guess that's thanks to the evolution. I've completely become an Eifil-Realne.

Now, about how I look a lot like Fleur, is something I'm still pondering about even now. It explains a lot by including my hypothesis that Eifil-Realne is related to Eclea-Realne, which is Fleur's specie. But it's not like each Eclea-Realne specie actually looks a lot like each other. I don't have any proof on that.

I asked Purin before but the only Eclea-Realne she knew is Fleur's mother and of course the daughter who is a half. Aside from them, there have been no records of other Eclea-Realne in the Demon Empire. But she told me that maybe in some parts of the Continent, there may be.

Anyways, the only proof or lead I have right now as to why I look a lot like Fleur or her mother is because of the Link.

Losing my physical body when I died and reincarnated as a Wandering Soul, perhaps this world hasn't properly registered my former body because it never existed here in the first place. Having nothing to use as a basis, I suppose the evolution used the only body that I have near me and is linked to my soul. And that is Fleur's body.

Or so I think. I'm not really sure, though. I still don't have a definite proof, as to why. I mean, if that's the case, then why am I a male? If it followed Fleur's body, then I should also be a female right now. But in reality, I'm still a male as I am. I have my trusted partner.

Did it follow my gender preference or something?

Hmm…

That's so vague, I can't use it as a basis.

Fleur: "Thank you for the food."

Ciel: "Thanks, Purin."

We're done eating. Purin prepared a pork stew from the preserved meat of the boar she hunted a while back. It's really a wonder how she could cook with that slime body of hers. Once I try to sneak a peek, I would only see finished products.

Mysterious.

Purin: "Anything for Milady, purin."

'What about me?' or so I would like to ask but I refrained. I'd just incur her wrath or something. The night would get a bit longer if I did, I have to do something after dinner after all.

Well, she did cook me a portion, so I can already assume that she became a bit considerate of me. Only a bit.

Now that I gained a body, I can eat like a normal person. But because of my Negative Physical Condition Resistance skill, I still don't feel hunger and thirst. That means, I still supply my energy from Crysaztel as usual. I don't have to eat, but Purin made it after all. I don't want to waste her efforts.

Even with her being that way to me, I still believe that she cares for me even for a little bit.

Probably. I hope.

Also, just who hates eating, right? Food is life. Ahaha~

Ciel: "Fleur?"

Fleur: "Hyesh?!"

Fleur stood up from her seat when I called out to her.

Hmhm… She's really bothered by what happened, I see.

Just from my voice alone, she jerks up unbelievably and looks at me with flushed cheeks.

Ah, no. She's not even looking at me. Her eyes are swimming around without looking straight at me. It's either she would go and talk to Purin whenever I call out to her, or just make up an excuse just to avoid a conversation with me.

I guess, from her perspective, what she did was beyond embarrassing.

I mean, who wouldn't be? You treated a friend like he's your mother, and cried in front of him as if he is your actual mother. Moreover, that friend is a guy whose 'junior' you just saw.

I bet her mind is in a huge jumble right now.

Fleur: "Hawawa… Hawawawa…"

My, my… I suppose it's time to do something about this.

Ciel: "Can I ask you to do something?"

Fleur: "Y-Yes. I will provide my all and help thee!"

Ciel: "Ahaha~ You're speaking like Purin now."

Fleur: "~~~!!"

Mufu. I guess this will take more time that I thought it would. Well, as long as she's fine then there's nothing to worry about.

Ciel: "You see… Can I ask you to tie my hair? It's long, and I'm still not sure if I can cut it by myself. So I want to tie it for now."

I hand her an elastic thread made from my Silk Thread Production skill. She slowly, somehow hesitantly, received it. Seeing her like that made me smile a bit.

I sat down on the chair and let her do it. She ties her hair regularly, so she must be quite familiar with how to tie someone's hair.

Ciel: "Can you do it?"

Fleur: "Y-Yes."

She must be nervous, I see. Mufufu. She's really cute.

Still… The case with yesterday isn't something that we can just pass along the water under the bridge. From what I know, it's not an exaggeration to say that her mother passing away is the root of her distress.

… Ohh. She's using a comb. This feels nice.

Ciel: "Fleur."

Fleur: "What is it?"

Seems like her nervousness is dissipating.

Ciel: "If it's not too much, may I ask you to tell me more about your mother?"

Seemingly surprised by my sudden question, her hands stopped from combing my hair and let out a small gasp. But not a short while after, she resumed her combing, perhaps understanding the intention of my inquiry.

Fleur: "… She was the apple of my eye. I loved her so much."

Ciel: "Mhm."

Going from that, I listened to her stories, not minding that she just went to combing instead of tying my hair.

From her mother's usual work. How she walks, how she eats, and even how she sings her to sleep every night when she was a child. She will let out a giggle from time to time, remembering all the times she had with her mother and father.

All the while, I can feel a warm emotion coming from the Link as she does her reminiscing. She must be enjoying telling the stories about her mother to others.

That only meant one thing; she really loved her mother above anything else.

Fleur: "I… I want to be someone like her one day. It is my one and only dream when I was a child."

Ciel: "… I see."

Enjoying the feeling of her finger through my hair, I close my eyes in peace.

Ciel: "Then… What do you see in me?"

Fleur: "That is…"

Fleur paused for a while to think. Still, however, she didn't stop her hands this time. She realized what I meant from my words. She seemed complicated in finding the right words to respond, so I waited for her to speak up, patiently.

Fleur: "… I see. Ciel… I may be following the shadow of my late mother in you. Seeing her very appearance in you, that is most certainly true. Yet…"

Ciel: "Hm?"

I feel her letting my hair go. Instead, my vision was suddenly blocked by her cold and shivering hands. It's cold, and she's sweating through them, but it didn't feel unpleasant, even the least.

Fleur: "Y-You are Ciel to me."

…

[Fleur's POV]

I cried in front of Ciel.

Someone who I thought would be my friend.

He kept telling me that I need not mind it, and that he was happy that he was able to be of help to me.

And, yes. Truth be told, I was more than happy upon hearing that. Hearing him say that to me made my heart flutter all the while. That added to my embarrassment of treating him as if he is my mother, I could no longer look at him in the face.

Few days have already passed since then, yet I still cannot find the courage to bring back my usual self when I talk to him.

It was such a mystery, even to me.

When he was still a Poltergeist, I could only see him as a wonderful friend to have. Much like how Purin is to me. Moreover, he was my life's savior. I owe him my very life.

I know.

He saved me. He pushed me out of my zone. He brought new worlds to me. I have never been so happy ever since that day when I could only succ.u.mb to the curse of death.

He is the one who gave me a second chance at life.

I am happy that I met him.

That alone is true.

Ciel: "Can I ask you to do something?"

He is calling out to me.

Fleur: "Hyesh?!"

How embarrassing… I let out that kind of voice to him. Hearing his voice alone, I can feel my heart almost popping out of my c.h.e.s.t.

It is a mystery, even to me.

He, who I saw as my own mother, would make me feel this way. Is it because of the embarrassment from that day? Is it because I saw his b.a.r.e body?

My mind is in disorder…

I feel the blood rushing from my extremities, up to my cheeks, as a result.

Ciel: "You see… Can I ask you to tie my hair? It's long, and I'm still not sure if I can cut it by myself. So I want to tie it for now."

He asked me to tie his hair.

Certainly, there is no reason for me to refuse.

So I went with his request.

I remember my mother asking me the same thing when I was a child. No matter how unskillful I did her hair, at the end of it, she would smile and tell me that it is the most beautiful work she had ever seen.

Now that I am no longer a child, I know that was not the case at all. But that did not make me unhappy even the least. She was the best mother I could ever have.

Ciel and I spent the time conversing about my mother, him saying that he wanted to hear more about her. I did not notice that I was just combing his hair, instead of actually tying it. But he did not mind. Moreover, he happily closed his eyes, as if to enjoy what I am doing for him.

I am happy that he feels so.

I am happy that Ciel feels so.

… But…

Why Ciel?

Ciel: "Then… What do you see in me?"

… His inquiry caught me in surprise. It was as if a lightning struck my inner being, my mind froze for an instant. However, I understood what he meant. The moment he leaned his head on my tummy.

I see… Now it makes sense. So that is what this feeling is. Now I understand completely.

He wanted to ask if him being here with me only reminds me of my darkest moments. That looking a lot like my mother, would only bring grief to me. Truly, it brought back a lot of memories…

Good ones…

Bad ones…

But that is not it. That is not it, Fleur.

He only wanted me to be happy, that is why he accepted my tantrum the other day. I merely could not control my emotions. Yet he… He still accepted my twisted feelings.

And now... He is even thinking of me. Of my feelings. I am the one who is in his mind, right now. Not anyone else. Not his sister, nor his mother. It is I.

I cannot help but smile, tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

He truly is kind.

Gentle.

Like a warm breeze of air, melting my frostbitten heart.

His kindness alone was what I truly wished for. Not anyone's, but Ciel's.

Ciel's kindness.

Then what is there to answer? What is there that I see? What is there to see?

Only one.

Fleur: "Y-You are Ciel to me."

I used my hands to cover his eyes.

I did not want him to see my face right now. I must be wearing an embarrassing look at the moment. I feel my sweat trickling down my forehead, and my face blushing from the heat.

Realizing things is a lot more draining, as it seems…

My mother is gone, that is already a fact. I had been running away from the truth, wishing the maybe this is all just a bad dream.

That I will wake up one day, seeing her smile that i loved once again.

But no. This is not a dream. This is reality.

Ciel made me realize that. I realize that.

I felt like the chain that was binding me has now finally been broken, and made me free. A load off my shoulders and feet.

The tears that I shed when I first saw Ciel's appearance…

Fleur: "You are Ciel."

… was the last of my memories with my late mother.

Ciel: "… Thank goodness."

He smiled, letting more of his weight to lean on me.

He should be looking a lot like my mother. Certainly, I did feel so.