Reforge: The Broken Ideal

I sit in this pit that has become my world, surrounded by nothing. What I need will never come, for that time has long passed. I wasn't born to be a hero, that was much was always clear to me…but is it so wrong to wish for something that I could never have? I tried so hard to change my fate and for what – to be betrayed by those who I had come to trust?

Was there any meaning in my struggle, or was it all for naught? The madness in men, my soul can feel it. The desperation in men, my soul can feel it. The panic in men, my soul can feel it; and the bottomless sack.

My eyes are wet with tears. My walls, the walls that hold me up, make me strong just... fall. Piece by piece, they fall. The tears roll down my cheek, drenching my 'skin'. Perhaps these tears will help wash the pain out…I'm trembling. I c-can't stop. Even as I press my hand against my c.h.e.s.t, it trembles. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. I can't stop...I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying?

My knees give way, as a painful; heart-wrenching anguish overwhelms my senses. I wrap my arms around my knees, drawing them in as I wept silently. I'm sorry for dying – for leaving your side – for being weak…

[Poor little soul.]

A voice sounds abruptly from above.

[You have lived a life more painful than most. Please, allow me to help you.] The voice continues with a gentle tone, but I find myself doubting its sincerity. [Why do you do this to yourself child? Why do you continue to torment yourself even after death?]

Even then, I did not respond.

The voice sighs, [I know that you do not wish to talk to me – to anybody, but perhaps this piece of information will change your mind: I am the reason you are now dead…It was I who requested to have your String of Fate cut.]

My mind blanked out for a moment, and my eyes widened in shock. I subconsciously turned my head towards the voice.

[What happened with Melissa Shield wasn't your fault, it was just her time.] It said quietly.

I wiped away the tears in my eyes and stared fixedly at the source of the voice. In front of me stood a beautiful woman. Her skin was akin to the softness and the beauty of a white plum blossom flower, and her eyes the shade of a cloudless afternoon sky. Her hair was long and as dark as blood, and her curvy body covered in a snow-white kimono.

[At first, I believed my decision to be correct, but for three years now you've been wallowing in grief. I am so sorry; I did not know that my actions would cause your soul so much pain. It's just that you've been calling out to me for so long, asking for it to all end…I know that what I've done to you cannot be undone, but please, allow me to make it up to you.]

Words left me as I stared into those bright blue eyes, not knowing what to feel. I could tell by the look on her face that she was full of regret; for her actions, for what she had done to me. And that she would carry that guilt with her, for the rest of her life. But what could I say? What could I possibly say to the person who had just confessed to being my killer?

"And Melissa...what about her?" I somehow managed to squeeze out.

[I don't think it–]

"TELL ME!!!"

The woman looked at me hesitatingly, before biting her lower lip and saying, [That child, Melissa, couldn't bear the thought of being used against you – of being your weakness. So, while she was in captivity, she attempted on numerous occasions to take her own life but was caught every time. In the end, like you, she begged for me to end her life, and so I complied with her wish.]

Silence hung in the air like a gaping void that s.u.c.k.e.d out all sounds, words, or thoughts. I stared at her, filled with disbelief. I could feel myself unraveling, the threads of every happy memory I could ever recall of her – a disarray of strings scattered at my feet. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. All this time she thought was a burden to me – even in the moments just before her death. I didn't know...HOW COULD I NOT KNOW?

All of a sudden, I find myself being pulled into an embrace; my head resting on her c.h.e.s.t. I haven't been hugged like this, not since I was a child. There was something about it that felt so warm, that felt right, smelt right. She gave me the respect of an equal but still cradled me like a cherished child. In that embrace, it felt less painful like there was still hope for things to get better…I wonder why? I could feel her brush my hair back as she lifted my face and kissed me on the forehead – oh, that gentle smile...

I sobbed into her c.h.e.s.t unceasingly, as my hands clutched her kimono. She held me in silence, rocking me slowly as my tears soaked her c.h.e.s.t. I tried to break away, afraid of this warmth, but before I knew it, I collapsed once again, my howls of misery worsening. The pain came in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths…

It was between those bursts of pain and warmth that I remembered a saying from my old life:

When in darkness, believe in the light,

When in loneliness, believe in friends,

When in sorrow, believe in joy,

When in pain, believe in empathy,

When in frustration, believe in patience,

When in anger, believe in perspective,

When in indifference, believe in love,

For in evolving wisdom, lives hope for us all.

Ah…how could I forget something so simple?

***

"Who are you?" I asked softly, as the woman tenderly wiped the tears off my face.

She smiled slightly as she looked at me with a gentle expression. [I am known as Death to your world, but you may call me Fayre dear child. Are you feeling better now?"

"A-ah, yes…I'm feeling better now," I say as I reluctantly separate myself from her.

[You know Izuku, we could've stayed like that a bit longer if you so wished – I certainly don't mind.] Fayre giggled with her hand covering her mouth. [However, now that you've calm down there is something, I wish to discuss with you.]

"And what would that be?" I asked inquisitively.

[You see Izuku, like everything else the universe has an end; it will eventually die even if it takes trillions upon trillions of years to occur. However, your race isn't as lucky, as no matter what you do; all intelligent life will die in 100 billion years.]

"So, does that mean nothing can be done, and we can only wait in the inevitable?"

She shook her head in disagreement. [That's not the case Izuku.]

"Then, there's way out?" I asked, confused at Fayre's words.

She nodded her head. [Any universe with intelligent life in it, if they are capable enough to create an atom smasher, which can constrict a tremendous amount of energy at a single point, and that, in turn, can create a gateway, to what would be translated in your language as, a 'baby universe'. And that is the origin of the multiverse, where everything and anything is possible.]

"…I understand, but what does that have to do with me?"

[Don't worry Izuku, I'll get to that soon enough, but first I want to understand something. You have lived a tragic life that has only gotten worse over the years, Izuku. From the time you were four, you were isolated and abused by your peers simply because you were born Quirkless – do you not find that absurd?]

I smiled wryly. "Of course, it's absurd, but is there any use in crying over spilled milk?"

You made me realize that.

[But as a result of the abuse, you became emotionally weak. You did not have any strong convictions or beliefs to call your own, other than wanting to be a hero and due to your inferiority complex, you found it difficult to make friends or even talk to people in general.]

Would getting angry change anything?

[And when things seemed to take a turn for the better, you lost the only woman you have ever loved, your secret was exposed, and you were betrayed by the country you had sworn to protect. They kidnapped your mother and used her to get you into their custody, where you were then experimented on for the next 6 years until your–]

"ENOUGH…please, just stop. I've heard enough…"

[Why? Does this not anger you? Do you not want revenge?] Fayre asked, a grim expression on her face.

"I…"

What am I supposed to say? What is the right answer?

[WHAT IS IT THAT WANT IZUKU?]

"I WANT TO BE A HERO…I want to be a Hero…"

The Goddess sighed once more, smiling faintly, with a degree of tenderness in her eyes.

[Negative emotions are a dime a dozen. They're cheap, really cheap. They produce scenarios of distrust, disdain, and disaster. The negative emotions flood us with lie after lie. The only cure that really works is, hold on until the Warmth and the Light returns. Hope is alive, it just needs time to surface…so, until then, please accept this gift of mine, young hero.]

She reached into space and pulled out an ancient looking box from the void.

[In this box, I have placed a crystallized droplet of blood, containing some of my white blood cells or in other words, my DNA and with it my divinity as the Goddess of Death. With it, you will have access to all the worlds that exist in the multiverse with the sole exception of the one you came from.]

"Is there is a reason for that?" I asked, frowning slightly.

[Yes, there is. As the Goddess of Death, I have certain privileges which include a fair bit of flexibility with the rules that govern your Reality. However, there are certain rules which I can't even bypass or take advantage of; and this is one of those situations. To put it simply, if I were to reincarnate you in your former world, that would cause an imbalance in the dark energy present, which would result in your universe essentially tearing in half like a sheet of paper.]

"So, does that mean I can never see my family and friends ever again?"

[Well...there is a way, but I am obliged to advise you against it. I can't send you back to your original universe, but I can send you to a parallel reality where most things are the same, however, think of it as your world on steroids. Even with the powers, you'd inherit from me, if you don't give yourself enough time to develop, you will die. Of course, it's your decision to make in the end -- I can just as easily send you to another world where you don't have a 96.967% chance of dying.]

I paused for a moment and began to seriously to consider my options; the various advantages I would have if I choose to reincarnate in another, much easier world, and the numerous disadvantages if I chose to be reborn in the world parallel to my own. In the end, it didn't take long to decide as my heart was already set on it from the start.

[Your time here is almost up Izuku. I'm glad I got to meet you before you were forcefully reincarnated. Just promise me that no matter what you do, live well; that's all I ask of you.]

"I... I will. I have chosen the world I wish to be sent to."

[It's the world parallel to your own isn't it?]

I nodded in affirmation.

[Very well, all you need to do is to swallow the droplet of blood I gave you -- once it merges with your body and soul it will give you the power to carve your name into the annals of history. As for the rest, leave that to me.]

Nodding my head once more, I opened the box and placed the droplet of blood on my tongue. Upon contact, it immediately dissolved, and I felt a warm feeling spread throughout my body.

After briefly examining my body, I look up at Fayre. "Will I ever be able to see you again?" I asked hesitatingly.

She fell into a moment of silence before smiling her biggest smile yet.

[I'm sure we will because you'll come to find me won't you Izuku?]

But before I was able to respond I felt a 'tugging' sensation in my gut as the world around me seemed to break apart. Fayre seems to be drifting further and further away from me with each passing second.

I grit my teeth and yell out with all the strength I can muster, "I will, I promise!" Before my vision goes dark and I lose my consciousness…