Silent Confession

   Zhou MuHui falling for Xin Yi, was something of a matter of course.

           Although he always found himself some excuses, disliking Xin Yi for being too sticky, and disliking him for being too talkative, but in reality, when Xin Yi didn’t come to find him, he couldn’t help but feel irritable. 

           Just like after that day, the kid who said he’ll come to find him still hadn’t shown his face, Zhou MuHui’s face was so long that it was about to touch the ground, but he still refused to open his mouth first to ask Xin Yi, where have you gone. 

           In the evening when it was near the time to get off work, the lady boss called him from behind, at that moment Zhou MuHui was unloading the merchandise, just in time to hear her say “Your little brother…”, his back suddenly turned stiff.

           His heart shook, and there was a furtive growing numb trembling sensation in his fingertips, Zhou MuHui didn’t turn around, as if he prevented himself on purpose, said indifferently, “What’s wrong?”

           He thought that Xin Yi came, and thought that Xin Yi was standing in that corner and looked at him sneakingly. 

           “Oh, nothing, just asking why your little brother hasn’t come for half a month? Isn’t he usually quite diligent?”

           The lady boss walked past him, seeing that he was carrying a box but hadn’t moved for a while, strangely looking at him, “Wasn’t it meant to be sent away? Why are you carrying it?” 

           Zhou MuHui didn’t say anything, it was just that his face turned a bit uglier, and he only opened his mouth after a long moment, but his tone was so stiff that it was scary.

           “Don’t know.” 

           Xin Yi didn’t come to find him again since that day, not even sending the text messages that he liked so much, Zhou MuHui isn’t someone who likes to look at his phone, but that day he frowned and stared at it for half a day, and even doubt if it wasn’t because there wasn’t credit anymore, charging one hundred on it. 

           As a result, on the second day there was no text.

           Zhou MuHui sat on his bed expressionlessly, outside, his mom called him to eat, Zhou MuHui made a sound in agreement, frowned, and started to delete the texts. 

           He once again thought that it was because the storage was full, pressed the keyboard to the bottom, and deleted one by one the spam texts, until he finished deleting fifty messages, but still hasn’t received new texts.  

           Zhou MuHui pursed his lips, and reluctantly stood up after half a day.

           Xin Yi played enough, that was his first thought. 

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           Until it was past three or four days, when it was definitely past Xin Yi’s half-month promise, this guess grew roots in the bottom of his heart, the pressure around Zhou MuHui was very low, he thought it was obviously the result he wanted, the little brat was uncertain, only pursuing him because of curiosity, not because he really liked him.

           But he was still irritable, irritable from April till May, always pulling the long face, going out to work once the sun was up, and only coming back at one or two in the morning, two hours later than usual, even not willing to speak much.

           The lady boss from the store thought that the two of them had a dispute, went aiyo for a while, but couldn’t tell the whys and wherefores about Zhou MuHui’s icily cold face, only that he was paying more attention to outside than usual, having to look outside every once in a while. 

           In mid-May when Zhou MuHui basically thought that Xin Yi wouldn’t come anymore, but Xin Yi appeared. 

           The kid was crouching in a corner in front of the store and looking at him sneakily, seeing him come out, carefully called him, “Zhou MuHui…”

           He didn’t boldly move closer like he used to do, he obviously hasn’t been hiding in the corner like this for a long while.

           Zhou MuHui was expressionless, and was thinking he probably came to something he wouldn’t like to hear. 

           Xin Yi anxiously blinked, seeing his long face, he was a little scared in his heart.

           “Zhou MuHui, pay attention to me.”

           He said in a small voice, but his body didn’t dare to move.

           As if as long as Zhou MuHui nodded, he would stay crouched there and not move. 

           Zhou MuHui obviously didn’t want to pay attention to him, he didn’t come for such a long time, and didn’t look for him, why did Zhou MuHui have to pay attention to him.

           But he inexplicably hummed.

           The little kid’s eyes lit up, and called out Zhou MuHui once again with a soft voice, Zhou MuHui paused, and swallowed back the “won’t pay attention” that he almost blurted out. 

           Zhou MuHui didn’t want to pay attention to him, it’s just that he was used by this little kid’s pleas, thus agreeing as a conditioned reflex. 

           Zhou MuHui told himself that. 

           Xin Yi pursed his lips into a smile, his fingers digging in his backpack’s straps, and looking at him shyly.

           “It’s almost eight o’clock, I’ll wait for you.”

           Zhou MuHui didn’t say yes, only stopped before him after he finished tidying the things, then moved forward with his face as usual.

           Xin Yi made a hey, and hurriedly chased after.

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            He had something on his mind, Zhou MuHui could feel it.

           The little kid usually has a lot to say, because the way toward the bar was the only moment he could chat with Zhou MuHui, Xin Yi usually won’t be so quiet when following him, and also sneakily looking at him from time to time.

           Zhou MuHui stayed calm and collected, but was looking at him from the corner of his eyes.

           “Zhou MuHui…”

           Xin Yi stopped before him when they were almost at the end of the alley, looking up at him with his hand behind his back, his face showing some fear, as if he was afraid, yet Zhou MuHui was a bit annoyed in his heart, because he take off his mask when he came out, and also because he didn’t understand what Xin Yi was afraid of.

           It was obviously the kid who told him before that he wasn’t afraid. 

           “Can you go out with me ah…”

           Xin Yi’s voice was very small, Zhou MuHui didn’t hear him clearly in the beginning, he frowned, staring at Xin Yi coldly.

           “What?”

           Xin Yi was a bit embarrassed by his stare, his cheeks started to redden, he was twisting his fingers anxiously, stammeringly saying it once again.

           “with me, go out with me!”

           Zhou MuHui was stunned, he thought he heard it wrong, and didn’t say anything for half a day, Xin Yi also panicked, probably because he didn’t expect Zhou MuHui to neither accept nor reject him, only staring at him for half a day.

           The kid was afraid and anxious, not knowing where to put his hands, the dim yellow streetlight was scattered on Zhou MuHui’s body, Xin Yi darted a look at him, not knowing where the courage came from, he suddenly pulled him and pressed him against the wall beside.

           Zhou MuHui was stunned, lowering his head to look at him.

           Xin Yi hugged him, looking up with his voice trembling, and said, “How come… you’re not speaking…” 

           Zhou MuHui was already prepared for him to leave, but he never thought that the kid who disappeared a whole month, the first thing he said when coming back would be this. 

           “Say what…?”

           His voice was very low, and even the gaze that was falling on Xin Yi’s was a beat slower, if Xin Yi listened to it seriously he would have noticed that Zhou MuHui was not quite right.

           Unfortunately, he was very nervous himself.

           “An-, Answer!”

           Xin Yi tugged at his collar and gulped, begging him stammeringly, “Be in a relationship with me, Zhou MuHui…”

           Zhou MuHui’s heart suddenly trembled, that scorching heat was pressing under Xin Yi’s hand, Zhou MuHui was absent-minded in a rare way, and didn’t say his rejection for half a day.

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           Xin Yi trembled with fear, that day he unintentionally followed Zhou MuHui home, and heard something so important, he was scared silly, running away after Zhou MuHui went inside, until after he ran home he realized that he lost his phone.

           But he didn’t have the energy to look for it, he was extremely panicked, hidden under the cover and trembling, he was indeed too young, and couldn’t understand what could have happened to someone, that could make them kill their own father.

           Xin Yi was afraid, even his mom noticed that something was wrong with him, walking over worryingly the next day, asking him what was wrong.

           Xin Yi was hugging the cat while sitting on the sofa in a daze, he looked at Xin Shao, suddenly resting his head on Xin Shao’s shoulder with his eyes red.

           “Mom…”

           Xin Yi was hugging his neck without letting go, and said sadly, “There is something that I cannot understand.” 

           Xin Shao caressed his hair, asked him what was wrong, Xin Yi was a bit anxious, grabbing Xin Shao’s hair and tangling them for half a day, then slowly asked, “If someone did a wrong thing, but now he is very good, then does he count as a good person… ?”

           Xin Yi was stunned by his question, then frowned, pondering very seriously.

           “Between a good and bad person… the boundary isn’t actually very precise.”

           Xin Shao said, “Xiao Yi, humans are very complex beings, each person has good and bad in them, just like someone can be wicked beyond redemption, but maybe he would also save a little kid on the side of the road, or someone who is always good to others, but would hurt other people because of certain things, these are overall characters that could appear on them.” 

           “It’s very hard for us to judge somebody, but one always has to pay the price for doing something wrong.” Xin Shao carefully explained to him, speaking while looking at him, “Before finishing to pay the price for it, you can choose to not forgive her.”

           “Then, then what about after?”

           Xin Shao was silent for a moment, then let out a sigh.

           “Determine the cause of the facts, take into account the circumstances.”

           Xin Shao touched his face, told him, “Xiao Yi, you always did better than us.”

           Xin Yi bewilderedly nodded, then thought about it for a long time, then did he come to find Zhou MuHui.

           “I like you, I want to be with you.”

           He anxiously and seriously said, “Zhou MuHui, you are a good person, agree with me.”