The Gentle Death God Laughs Above the Cherry-Blossom Sky.

As the seconds continued to tick by, the image of the young boy in my mind seemed to slowly fade away; taking along with him, the faint sound of boyish laughter and the smell of cherry blossoms. At that point, I remembered.

Ah… I’m going to wake up now… 

This was only a dream, one that would soon be over. Albeit, the thought left a bitter taste on my tongue.

I… I don’t want to wake up.

This would be the last time I would see Ren, but I didn’t even have the chance to talk to him.

I want to speak to Ren-kun …

I want to tell him how I’ve been …

I want to tell him I lived …

I want to show him how I’ve grown, how I’m not the little kid he used to know …

I want …

I –

Then I realized something. It wasn’t that the things with Ren-kun meant nothing to me, it’s just that I felt really betrayed and abandoned…

It was painful and dismal to feel that way, so I forced myself to forget them. I only remembered now – when these memories found their way back to the fore of my mind. 

It still hurts.

❆

“Ah!”

I opened my eyes, feeling as if my body was getting heavier as the intense light invaded my sight. I blinked a few times to shake off its effect. I was connected to many medical cords, from heart monitors to dextroses and machines that I don’t recognize.

Wait …

The sound of my own heartbeat, ringing loudly in my head, shocked me.

I’m alive…?

Confused, I took the time to look around though I only saw the doctors and nurses hurriedly moving about, meticulously checking on my condition.

So … Tiring …

Wait!

My eyes focused on the figure standing behind the crowd, my beating heart thumping louder in my head.

Could that be…?!

I gasped. For a moment, I thought it was Ren-kun. But, then I realized what I saw was the figure of the grim reaper with his hood pulled down over his eyes, shrouding his features with darkness.

I’m not sure what to make of that look, but I’m sure for the grim reaper, it’s a good idea.

M-Mister Rea–

I whispered in my mind. Though, when he noticed my gaze, he simply turned his eyes away, pulling down the hood over his face, yet again.

Sigh!

I’m crazy for mistaking Ren-kun for Mr. Reaper. They have no similarities at all. The former is so kind and warm, the latter on the other hand …

Well … he does have a kind side, as well.

I thought to myself, blushing as I realized I was actually defending him.

As I mused ‘em both, my eyes gradually grew tired again. So, I decided to close them once more.

I felt no need to care about anything and anyone at this moment anymore …

❆

“Mahiro-chan? Can you hear me?”

“Ah …,” I groaned out a response as I blearily, with much effort, opened my eyes.

I wonder how much time has passed?

The crowd of doctors and nurses from earlier were already making their way out of my ward. The procedure seemed to be over. The only nurse left behind was cleaning up – picking and sorting out the tools and materials that the previous group used. And as she did so, she talked to me but I could hardly talk back.

This is frustrating.

I thought to myself, upset. Still, I desperately moved my mouth to speak. Nothing but garbled sounds left my lips, as though my vocal cords were exchanged with a baby’s. Frustrated beyond belief, my lips had formed into a bitter smile.

Seeing me so, the nurse quickly started reassuring me. “It’s okay. You pushed the nurse call button, so I managed to make it here in time. It would have been dangerous if you hadn’t pushed it at that moment. You’ve done a great job Mahiro.”

Apparently, I was saved by the doctors and nurses who rushed when they heard the nurse call pushed by Mr. Reaper at that time.

“I’ll be back later,” said the nurse, and then proceeded to leave the room.

I was left alone again. With a grunt, I looked around, tensed, before gradually relaxing onto the bed upon glimpsing a familiar form.

I’m not alone. Mr. Reaper is here with me.

I smiled in satisfaction.

After a while, I asked Mr. Reaper the thing that had been gnawing my mind since earlier. My throat felt dry, so I gathered every last bit of energy that I had left. I needed to know…

“Why—“

“Hm?”

“Why did you do that?”

“— Because you’re not supposed to die yet.”

“That’s your reason?”

“That’s right. I will be in deep trouble if a person I’m overseeing doesn’t die on a properly decided day. Don’t bother me anymore,” Mr. Reaper said plainly. 

Such a cold man. However, the words that he said didn’t annoy me for some reason and between us, laughter erupted.

I guess I’m used to his rough behavior.

“I can’t help it. If you don’t want me bothering you Reaper-san, you should go out. You are free to do so.” I snapped back at him, giggling.

“I can’t leave, because I’m at work,” replied Reaper-san, and, for a fraction of a moment, I saw the cloth covering his face rise up – revealing a small smile.

For some reason, I felt my heart beat louder at the sight. This was Reaper-san’s first time laughing around me.

Perhaps, I just felt excited about that…

The next day, while being next to me – me who was forbidden to leave the hospital room for several days – the God of death sat in a chair and asked:

“Why don’t your parents rush to the hospital when you’re in this kind of state?”

“Ah, that’s what you want to know.”

“Why? Did you think that I was going to say something strange?”

“Yeah, I usually think so … Uhh, my parents aren’t here right now. They’re abroad.”

“Overseas, huh—”

For a long time, my parents had been going back and forth between Japan and overseas. I think it was a shackle for them to have a child who stayed in the hospital longer than at home. After being hospitalized and discharged many times, I’m just grateful that my parents came to visit me over and over again without blaming me for being a sick child. 

So, when I said, “I’m 16 years old now, so you don’t have to come and see me every day”,  my parents looked apologetic. However, I’m sure they were relieved in their hearts. At least letting out what I feel made me feel a little less guilty.

I shook my head a little when asked by Reaper-san. “Anyways, I don’t want to bother them anymore. I don’t want to give them false hopes anymore. I feel like I need to let go of them first so that they can easily let go of me when that day arrives.”

“Then you …,”

“I wonder if I will die alone.”

I’m a bit scared. Words about me dying just popped as our conversation progressed. I’ve caused a lot of trouble for my poor, poor parents. That’s why I want to die without causing any inconvenience to anyone. 

Wouldn’t that be great? It’s the first and last act of filial piety that I could possibly do.

When he stared at me for a moment, Reaper-san suddenly abruptly blurted out a word:

“… Not …”

“Huh?”

Silently, Reaper-san leaned towards me and covered my hand with his. “You’re not alone.”

Instantly, tears pooled in the corner of my eyes, but I refused to let them out just yet. There’s no use for them anyway.

“The moment you die, I’ll be by your side. So, you are never alone.”

I blinked at him, hoping that the fluttering of my eyelashes would keep my tears at bay. After taking a deep breath, I said, “Oh … Thank you. That is oddly calming.”

The kindness in Reaper-san’s words seemed to be transmitted through his cold palm, and I willingly and gently grasped that hand. 

At least I have the God of death by my side.

After a few days, as per the notice, my ban on going out was lifted. I was deemed ‘healthy’ enough to go out and enjoy the hospital’s ground. I was proud to hear the word healthy even though my expiration date was nearing.

As I got out of bed and stretched out, the stagnant bones around my body creaked.

I guess I’ve stayed in bed too much, huh.

Even though I don’t have any particular needs, I wanted to go out of my room.

Hmm, should I go buy some drinks?

I picked up my coin purse and left the room as I pondered over that matter.

Eh, as long as I can walk outside my room for a bit –

“Oh, Sister!”

My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar, young, high-pitched voice. With a smile, I turned towards the voice:

“Nozomi-chan!”

“Sister, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m doing okay! And, I also feel great!” I jokingly said.

“I’m glad!”

The owner of the voice, Yashiro Nozomi, had been hospitalized here for a few months now. The five-year-old girl loved calling me her sister and just straight up adored me. 

I wonder if things would have been like this if I had a younger sister.

I’ve heard from a nurse that she had a low-grade fever for a few days and must absolutely rest in her own hospital room like I was, but seeing her walking in the corridor meant that her fever was gone down.

“Do you feel alright now? Has your fever gone down?”

“Yeah! I was told that I can go out today, too.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Fufufu. I asked my brother to help me, that’s why I’m fine now!”

“Brother?”

Does Nozomi have an older brother? It’s been a few months since she was admitted here, but I’ve only ever seen her mother visit her.  Well, it may be because children under junior high school are off-limits inside the hospital. However, it seems a little strange since I’ve never seen this brother that she’s talking about…

“Nozomi-chan, I’m curious. You have a brother? How old is he?”

Despite my curiosity, she held her mouth with her small hands as if she didn’t want to tell me what she meant.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ehehe, nothing!” She laughed and immediately said her goodbyes.

Just like that, she returned to her own ward while waving those small hands, smiling like a fool.

“See you soon, Sister~”

Huh!

Meanwhile, I was left in a state of confusion.

But … Why does it feel like there was something wrong with Nozomi-chan’s smile?