The Human Saint Is Bored, So I Was Summoned To Another World

Ahh…finally, I'm all healed and recovered!

Well, now that I managed to survive my first ever sickness in Chersea, I went back to my usual 'daily' routine, which is, looking for some odd jobs around, and go reading at the library when I have nothing else to do.

"…"

And, uh, I think that maid, Eris, is assigned to the Housekeeping Department. As such, it was her duty to clean the areas she was assigned to every change of season. I guess for this current season, her responsibility falls at the library.

"…"

Well, for such a maid, being assigned to the library is kind of a…how do I say it, punishment perhaps? I mean, this place is just huge, and there were a lot of corners and shelves to clean. Not to mention, the building itself is six stories high.

Honestly, I don't know, and I think I should just keep my thoughts to myself.

"…"

God, I think she's utterly tired.

"Hey."

"!!!"

I immediately grabbed the pile of books that Eris was carrying. I guess I surprised her when I called out to her, and she almost fell with all the books about to crush her.

"M-mister Kuro!" Eris uttered in-between her labored breaths, "Eris thought that you're reading over there!"

"Well I'm not anymore, as you can see." I answered, "Here, why don't you let me carry those for you?"

"Err…uh, it's heavy…"

"I know. That's why I'm helping you." I took the books she was carrying. And—

F.U.C.K! This is really heavy! How did a kid like her even managed to carry this?

"A-are you alright, Mister Kuro?" Eris asked worryingly, "Y-your face is blue…"

"I…am…okay! HNNNGGGGHHH!!!" I carried those books with all my might.

Damn, I can't lose to a kid!

"Where do I put these?"

"Ah! Over there, Mister Kuro!" Eris pointed out. I quickly went to the place she indicated and dropped the pile before putting the books back on their proper shelves.

And honestly, I think I broke a couple of bones carrying that single tower of books.

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We finally finished sorting the books that were piling up in that certain part of the library.

"Haa…haa…haa…"

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah…haa…haa…" I barely managed to answer Eris' question, "L-let me…catch my breath…for a bit."

I lay down on the library's carpeted floor, spreading my arms and legs like that Vitruvian drawing. I'm utterly exhausted. I think we fixed about a thousand books scattered around that room alone. Well, the act of carrying books is quite easy, just get the right numbers that you can take. However, the next thing that you should do—putting those back in their proper shelves…that's pretty tiring.

And for someone who isn't exactly that athletic, climbing up and down the ladders for a time takes a toll from my body.

I really need to do some exercise soon.

Eris sat by beside me. I can see that she's tired as well, but I guess that took some load off her work.

"So, what's next?" I asked her.

"Eh?!" Eris' face was utterly surprised. "You'll help Eris again, Mister Kuro?"

"Well, I guess I can take a few more beatings." I replied, "Just let me rest for a bit."

Eris had fallen quiet. She just looked at me with a blank expression.

"You fine?" I asked again; I'm afraid she might faint from the exhaustion.

"Ah, yes!"

"I see…"

"Uh…Mister Kuro…"

"Yep?"

"Why are you so kind to Eris?"

"Seriously, you're asking me that?" I'm amused by her question. "Isn't it because you're tired?"

"Oh…"

"What, were you expecting something else?"

"N-nothing." Eris shook her head. But then, she continued, "Is Mister Kuro alright with this?"

"Alright with what?"

"Eris has nothing to give you…"

"It's not bad to accept kindness from people from time to time, you know."

"But…you're a boy…"

Hoh…I almost forgot the fact that Eris is a maid at this place, which hates men to a certain degree thinking we are ALL rabid perverts. I'm starting to get where this conversation is going…

"Ahem." I cleared my throat, "If you're thinking I'd ask something 'difficult' from you because I helped you, you're greatly mistaken, Miss Maid. I just wanted to help, so let's leave it at that, okay?"

Eris went quiet once again. So, I guess I hit the target?

"I'll definitely tell them they're wrong." I heard Eris muttered those words. Could she be possibly referring to the other maids? Well, it'd be a great help if she did tell them I'm just a harmless idiot from another world…

But well, I think I should pretend I didn't hear that.

"!!!"

I think I heard another loud grumbling stomach once again. I turned to Eris, and her face was brightly red.

"Uhh…want to grab something to eat first before going back to work?" I knew she'd be embarrassed to admit she's hungry, so instead, I offered her a face-saving question.

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"What do you mean you're out of food?" I can't help but to raise my voice when I learned that the Kitchen Department hasn't had any food left.

"Well, it can't be helped." The head of the Kitchen Department—I think her name's Jessica—replied in an equally aggressive tone. "We did issue the call for lunch, but you guys apparently didn't hear it."

"We didn't hear it alright." I admitted. "Eris and I were too busy with work that we might haven't notice it."

"So then, it's your loss." Jessica countered with an arrogant, provoking tone.

"Come on, isn't there anything left?" I asked, "Can't you set aside something for us, at least?"

"Are you trying to give orders to me?"

"Uh, no. Sorry for that." I didn't intend to do that, so I meekly backed down.

"Well, as long as you know your place here, boy, that's fine with me." Jessica triumphantly smiled.

This bitch…

"M-mister Kuro, Eris thinks we should just g-go…" Eris was pulling my sleeves.

However, I got something else on my mind.

"Uhh…Kitchen Head Maid…" Well, I don't know what to call this bitch named Jessica. If I use her name, she might go ballistic once again, and I'd like to avoid that. "Could it be possible if I asked for some ingredients to cook?"

"What? You're cooking?" the bitch asked me with a haughty tone.

Well, isn't it obvious bitch?

But of course, I didn't say that. If there's a saying 'beggars can't be choosers', I have that 'beggars can't be fighters'. I'll just go with her for the meantime…

"Uh, I guess I'm confident with my cooking skills." I answered, "However, it's worst compared to yours, Kitchen Head Maid."

"Well of course!" the bitch replied, "Don't compare trash with gold, boy."

She's really getting into my nerves…

"And don't you dare touch my utensils. You might get me pregnant."

Err…seriously? You believe in that, bitch?

"Uh, if I may speak, science has proven that touching your utensils—and even our skins—won't get you pregnant…"

"Huh? Sayans? What's that?"

"Uhh…it's something that runs the entire world? Well, at least in my old world."

"I don't care about your world." the Bitch then turned her back on me, "Use those old kitchen utensils at the back, I don't want you touching any of my exquisite tools."

Yes, don't worry, the feeling is mutual, bitch.

But yeah, Jessica did give me something to cook with in the end.

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Now prepare to be amazed!

I finally finished cooking with the ingredients the Kitchen Head Bitch—ahem, I mean Maid—Jessica gave to me. It's pretty simple, straightforward dish. Something that I always cook back in my old world.

"…"

"Uh…what's this garbage?" the Bitch asked with a terrible expression on her face, "It doesn't have an attractive color, it smells terrible, and it's just chicken meat and some seasonings."

Eris also had the same apprehensive face when she saw the food that I cooked. Of course, to the rich and diverse cuisine of this world, my cooking pales in comparison.

Well, sorry it turned out like that, but hey, it's a popular dish back in my country.

"Ahem." I tried to save face by explaining, "It's a famous food back in my world, you know."

"Your world is trash then."

Bitch, don't just spout whatever nonsense you come up with.

I kept quiet about that and instead turned to the person I originally cooked this for, "Well, if you're not eating this Eris, then I'll go ahead."

"Uh, oh! Eris would also like to eat that!" she tried to smile to appear enthusiastic, however, I could see that she's just pushing herself.

But yeah, I still gave her some portions of my cooking.

"Ugh, I can't stand both of you eating that gross food." The Bitch declared, "I'm leaving! Just don't forget to clean after yourselves!"

Fine with me! No one invited you to eat anyway, Bitch! Shoo!

"OH!"

"!!!"

It was Eris who suddenly shouted. The Bitch and I quickly turned around to see what's wrong.

"HAWAWAWAWAWA…" Eris' expression seemed to be on 'cloud nine'. She kept on putting several spoonsful of my food on her mouth.

"I'm glad that you like it!" I can't help but to smile when I look at her. At least someone's appreciating my skills.

"Mister Kuro!" Eris' eyes were full of sparks, "The saltiness, sweetness and sourness of the seasonings you used blended well with the slightly-roasted chicken meat!"

The Bitch has her ears all perked up now. Her full attention is focused on me.

I thought you're leaving?

"What do you call this dish?" Eris asked happily.

"Oh that?" I chuckled, "It's called 'Adobo'."

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And so, everything that begins well, ends well.

"…"

Or so I thought.

"!!!"

I was about to sleep when I heard someone knock on my door.

"Kuro?" It's Lily.

Although I can still remember what happened back when I was sick, it's still the Head Maid. I guess she's back to her calm and collected self again? Well, no matter.

I opened the door.

"…"

And surprise, surprise! With her is no other than Her Holiness the Saint. Again.

"Err…what's up?" I let them in. Or rather, Her Holiness let herself in and sat on the nearest available chair.

Well, this is her place anyway, so I'd rather keep my mouth shut.

"Well, I was dragged by Lily here because apparently, she wanted to ask about the food you cooked before." Her Holiness explained.

"Uh…I could've gone alone, Your Holiness." Lily countered her, with a slight irritation in her voice.

"Of course, I wouldn't let you." Her Holiness answered, her eyes staring meaningfully at me, "Or there'll be something 'bad' that would happen."

Uhh…yeah she's right. I just want to live my life here in a peaceful, 'healthy' manner.

"Anyway, she wants to know about your food." Her Holiness turned to me, "And actually, I'm also surprised that you can cook, Kuro."

"Well I can, Your Holiness." I said, "I had to. I live alone back in my old world."

"That's rather sad, don't you think?" Lily commented.

"Ohh…actually, I find it admirable." Her Holiness quipped.

"Nah. I'm used to it. Back in my world, when you're not popular with the ladies, you have to be prepared to live alone." I casually told them.

"…"

Hey, don't look at me pitifully, Your Holiness.

"The ladies back in your land must've been fools." Lily commented.

"Well, I think they're just being intelligent." I retorted. I would also like to add, 'And they don't l.u.s.t for their siblings, too', but I decided to keep silent about it.

Her Holiness suddenly burst laughing. She read my mind again.

I quickly changed the topic, "By the way, how'd you know about that time I cooked for Eris?"

"Well, Jessica imitated your dish and served it for my dinner." Her Holiness explained, "I was pleasantly surprised by the flavor and had Lily ask her, and she told us what happened."

"Oh…"

Wait, how did that bitch managed to copy my dish? If I remember, I didn't even offer her a single drop of it. And Eris ate all that could be eaten, save for a few spoonsful of the sauce…

Could it be—

Nah. It's impossible. The bitch's too arrogant to do what I had in mind.

"I'm even surprised when I read Jessica's mind, that she would lick the empty bowls for a taste of the sauce." Her Holiness added. "That proves how much she liked it."

Good lord, I forgot this is a world of idiots.

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Anyway, I explained to Lily and Her Holiness how to prepare and cook that dish I brought from my world. Lily, as she was the Head Maid, listened intently at my instructions. Her Holiness the Saint, as her usual random self, just loitered around my room floating and swooping down whenever she wished.

Honestly, you might hit someone if you do that, Your Holiness!

But Her Holiness ignored me and continued what she was doing. Maybe she's not in the mood to read my mind?

So, I turned my attention to Lily, "Uh, Lily, you may put a little distance between us, you know?"

"Hmm? I won't be able to hear you if I did that, Kuro."

"Well, you could sit properly, at least." I suggested. She was leaning her head on my shoulder, actually.

"I can understand you better in this position."

Seriously?

For some reason, Lily is kind of clingy this time. And with Her Holiness flying around and keeping a watchful eye on us, it makes the atmosphere inside my room extremely awkward.

"…"

"Well, you cooked for Eris, Kuro." Lily's voice was filled with jealousy, "I think it's not too much of me to ask for your shoulder to lean on."

"Err…but we're not—"

"Ahem." I could hear Her Holiness clear her throat. She's indirectly telling us that she's still here.

I need to be done with this quickly.

"A-anyway…" I continued my explanation, "Just let the food simmer until the seasonings dried up a little. You'll know it when the sauce becomes thick. If that happens, you turn off the fire."

"Oh, that's pretty easy." Lily commented.

"It is. That's why it's the one I cooked for Eris." I inserted that explanation, "There's nothing special about it, you know."

Lily fell silent. She just continued on leaning her head on my shoulder. I can feel the air of intense jealousy seeping out from her. She tightened her grip on my arm.

"…"

Man, honestly, I don't find this bad, you know. Having someone who's romantically-attached with you, and stuff like that. And I think that's pretty cute of her….

Uhh, at this rate, I'd like to propose to you to be my girlfriend.

But Lily is head over heels about her dead brother, and because of that, I can't exploit her feelings for my benefit, no matter how weird it is.

"…"

Besides, Eris is like a little sister to me, and it can't be possible that she sees me as a potential lover. I'm ugly and an idiot.

"Oi." It was Her Holiness, interrupting my train of thoughts. "You shouldn't talk about other girls when someone is with you, you know."

Come on, Eris is a kid, Your Holiness!

"She's still a girl." she countered.

God, it's really hard to understand ladies.

"Ah anyway…" I remembered something I need to ask Lily, "Now that we're talking about Eris, I'd like to call your attention to a matter concerning her."

"Hm?" Lily began to respond.

"Well, it's about her workload." I explained, "Not that I'm meddling with your duties as Her Holiness' servants, I just think her assignment in cleaning the entire library is too much. I mean, with a little body such as hers, she might get sick quickly or end up getting injured permanently."

"Huh?" Lily sat upright, her face had a confused expression, "Why would Eris do that? She's assigned to Her Holiness' Grooming Department, not the Housekeeping."

"Eh?!" now it's my turn to be surprised, "But she's been doing that ever since I got summoned here. You think maybe Eris wanted to help with the other department's duties?"

"That can't be possible!" Lily retorted, "Our assignments as servants in this place are restricted to us and only us. We can't take over with someone else's work! Plus, it is also an impossible feat to clean the Saint's library by herself! What's the Housekeeping Department doing all this time?"

"Something's not right." Her Holiness now entered the conversation, "That maid, Eris, was assigned to me because she was still a child. It'd be bad if she got sick because of the heavy work."

"I will look into this matter, Your Holiness." Lily was serious.

"Yes, please do, Lily!" Her Holiness nodded.

"I will, Your Holiness."

"Yeah, investigate on it."

"Of course, I will Your Holiness."

"Uhh…so are you two going to continue trading answers and not actually do something?" I had to intervene, this is looking more stupid every minute that pass.

"Right…" Lily gracefully stood up and bowed, "I'll go ahead then."

The door then closed with a soft click.

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Ah, at last, I was alone…

Well, make that 'almost alone'. Her Holiness remained with me long after Lily went out to check on Eris.

Err…what are you still doing here, Your Holiness?

"What's the matter?" she replied with a question, "This is my house as well, you know."

Well, yeah, I know that. What I mean is, don't you think that if someone else saw you inside my room, people would misunderstand and spread stupid rumors?

"Well, it's you yourself who said it: 'stupid' rumors. You think I'll be affected by such petty words?" Her Holiness laughed mockingly.

Ah, you still need to think about your image, after all. I'm a boy and, it's kind of bad publicity to have you spend time here alone with me. Even if you're a Saint, you're still a girl inside.

"Err, I—" I could see that Her Holiness was taken aback by what I had in mind.

Even if I'm much older than her, the Saint's still a lady, and a complete stranger too, technically. Gender hasn't had anything to do here, it's all about morals and ethics.

"K-Kuro, you i-idiot…" Her Holiness' face was fl.u.s.tered, "You really know how to play with a woman's heart."

What? I'm just thinking about your welfare and you're accusing me of being a gigolo?!

"W-will you try to s-speak? I l-look stupid here reading your mind."

"Sorry."

"Ahem." Her Holiness cleared her throat, "A-anyway, uh…the reason why I didn't leave is because I need to tell you something."

"Which is?"

"I'd like…" Her Holiness' voice was soft; she meekly looked at me, "I'd like to thank you for taking care of my servants, Kuro. Not only to Eris now, but also for what you did to Lily before…"

"Oh…uhm, don't worry about it. I just did what I had to." Well, it's not that bad to see this side of the Saint. I mean, her puppy eyes are too cute for me to behold.

"Hmph! Of course, I'm cute as always!" Her Holiness is back to her usual conceited self.

I think I like this version better, though.

"S-shut up!" the Saint went back to her cute blushing side.

What the hell? What version is the real you, really?

"So, yeah. Now that I said my thanks, I'll now proceed with my warning."

"Eh? Warning, Your Holiness?" I was shocked to hear those words.

Did she come here to warn me about my 'perverted' thoughts?

"Yep. Be careful with my servants, Kuro." Her Holiness had a happy, smiling face as she spoke, "You might end up being a wanted fugitive by the royal and noble families in all of Chersea soon, you know."

"EH?!" I almost jumped from my bed, "Why is that so? I haven't done anything wrong to them!"

"Well, I know you didn't." Her Holiness began to float playfully, "It's just that, I don't think any of those families are willing to accept an otherworldly human with no apparent charming attributes other than his sincerity and sound mind as their kin."

"W-what are you talking about?!"

"I guess you need to know by now…" the Saint laughed; she's clearly enjoying this, having me run around in circles, "All of my servants are actually royal princesses, duchesses, and other members of the Chersea nobility."

What the hell?!

"Lilyhaven Tamriel von Leese is a princess of the Kingdom of Nerfes to the north. And Eris Braunhauer is a duchess from the Kingdom of Amaranth to the southwest. If I may remember, she's a daughter of the former Vizier."

Oh, good lord…they're bigshots!

"So yeah, I'm just warning you." Her Holiness casually told me, "And I'm not saying that it's impossible for you to marry them; it depends on them and their families if they will accept you."

"Uhh…I don't think of helping them with the intention of seducing them, Your Holiness."

"I know. I can see through your heart and mind, remember? That's why I trust you. However, I cannot say the same for those girls and their families."

"Ah, thanks for the warning, Your Holiness."

Honestly, I was relieved when the Saint herself said she trusts me. Well, whatever, I guess I'll just continue on what I do while trying to avoid further complications.

"Okay, so with that, I guess I need to be off to my own room!" she happily chirped in. And with that, Her Holiness disappeared on my sight; she used her teleportation magic.

That Saint really does what she feels, huh? Ah, anyway, time to sleep.

"…"

Now that I think about it, if all the servants here are royalty and nobility, then…

THAT EXPLAINS THE ARROGANT ATTITUDE OF THAT BITCH, JESSICA!!!

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The moment I woke up, I found myself surrounded by Her Holiness' palace guards.

"What the—" I muttered; I was still half-asleep, but I can already make out of their shiny plate armors and swords that were drawn out.

"Good day, Kuro."

Err…if I remember, this emotionless girl that greeted me and leading the guards is the vice-captain. She stood on the bottom end of my bed flanked by her subordinates on either side.

What was her name again? Was it Atkins or something?

"You are?" Well, I asked her name anyway.

"Dame Sasha Atkins, vice-captain, Paladin Corps." she replied, in her usual curt manner.

"Ah yes…" by this time, I was already wide awake. I sat on my bed like an idiot, looking at those sharp rapiers in the hands of the guards. "You need anything from me?"

"Come."

"Err…did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Then why am I being arrested?"

"You're not."

"Err…if I'm not being arrested, why are your swords are drawn, though?"

Dame Atkins then signaled her subordinates to sheathe their swords, which they stoically followed. "You don't like it?"

"Ha? Why would I like it?"

"Added drama."

"What?" Do you guys really have to do that? For Christ's sake, I'll die from heart attack because of you!

"Come with us. Captain calls for you."

"Oh…" Seriously, that almost made my heart skip a beat. I thought I'm being arrested; heck, I don't even know what did I do wrong this time, if that was true! But well, seeing that the vice-captain came along with several other guards mean that this is an important message from the Captain, Marquise Monfort.

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It was still quite early when I arrived at the Palace Armory, the barracks and headquarters of Her Holiness' Paladin Corps guard unit. On the gates alone, I could already feel the air of tension as the other resting guards were all looking at me with contempt on their eyes.

Think of it like a kitten being led through a pack of wolves…only the kitten is a guy, and is a human.

The vice-captain and her girls led me to a dark corridor inside the imposing holy fortress. It took us quite a while and I lost count of the number of doors we passed by, before we stopped before a rather unimposing door.

"…"

"Enter." the vice-captain then prodded me to go inside.

The heavy atmosphere hung in the air, and I find it quite suffocating. I stared at the door for a few tension-filled moments before I managed to gather my courage, and open it.

"!!!"

I was shocked by what I saw. I certainly didn't know what to do the moment those things came into my view…

"Uh, vice-captain?"

"Yes?"

"What are those?"

"The Captain's playthings."

"Oh…" Well, I was honestly surprised. I didn't expect that the Captain of the Paladin Corps is fond of pink, frilly things.

Pink morning stars with frills. Pink execution swords with frills. Pink iron maiden with frills…

Really, though…how did she managed to put frills on those torture items?

Anyway, although terrified, I excused myself and went in. The Marquise Monfort sat behind the torture room's pink wooden table with frills, brooding and glaring at me. Her hands were clasped in front of her face as if in a prayer, and I can feel the air of hostility coming out from her.

"So, we meet again, Mister Defen—"

"Kuro, please." I quickly reminded her of my name.

"Ahem. So, we meet again, Mister Kuro." Her voice was serious and heavy, and I can tell that she has something important to tell me.

"Well, of course, Marquise." I answered, "You called me here after all."

"Right. Do you know why I brought you here?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I replied.

"Didn't the vice-captain explain to you?"

"Her answers are incomplete."

"Riiiight."

"So, what made you bring me here?"

"I just wanted to feel the air of tension. But don't worry, I don't intend to torture you or anything. I don't like doing it anyway."

Uh-huh. How typical of her.

"So yeah, let's start with the questions, Kuro."

"Hm?" I was surprised when the vice-captain appeared behind me and forced me to sit on the chair she brought with her. The other guards surrounded me as well, giving the impression that they don't intend to let me leave there alive.

"Tell me, what do you think of that maid, Eris?" the pink, frilly whip that Marquise Monfort held caught my attention. She was stretching it, making those nasty slapping sounds.

I thought she doesn't approve of torture?

"She's my friend, I think." I stiffly answered, my eyes are focused on the whip on her hands.

"'You think'?"

"Yes. I don't really know what she thinks of me though."

The Marquise closed her eyes as if pondering on something. I, for my turn, had my mind racing on what's going on. The guards stoically stood by around me, with the intention of keeping me in that room.

Wait a minute…isn't Eris the maid whom the Marquise is stalking for the past few times before?

"Mister Kuro."

"Y-yes!"

"If she's just a friend to you, then why did you propose to her?"

I think my heart stopped beating for a moment the second I heard that. It made me almost stood up from my seat but the vice-captain held an iron grip on my shoulder and kept me in place.

"I don't get what you're talking about. I just cooked for that maid, is all!"

"So, you really admit to proposing to her!"

"Ha?! What the hell?! It's just cooking for a little girl—"

"OW!"

I was cut in my sentence by the cracking of the whip. Well, I wasn't the one who screamed in pain though. The whip didn't hit me; it hit a standing guard instead. The Marquise was quick to apologize to the innocent bystander; she didn't mean to hit anyone, after all.

Man, you need to be careful of your frilly things when you're waving them around, Marquise.

"Ahem. Don't you know, Mister Kuro…" Marquise Monfort explained to me the moment she regained her composure, "In the Kingdom of Amaranth, men propose marriage to women by doing domestic work for them."

"…"

"And you just cooked and fed Eris. Are you trying to be the playboy here?"

Good lord, what have I done?!

I fell silent, shocked by the revelation.

So that's the reason why Her Holiness told me about the true identities of the servants working in here!

"I…I swear I didn't mean anything by that!" I defended myself. Well, it's the truth! They could even ask the Saint for verification.

"Of course, you don't!" Marquise Monfort replied sarcastically, this is the first time I saw with that kind of scary expression, "Men are all the same! You say and do the same things over and over again, then play with our hearts and leave us the moment you found another victim to seduce!"

Well, I couldn't say that isn't exactly true. There were idiots like that. But well, of course, I need to defend myself, "That's isn't true!"

"SHUT UP!" she suddenly let her whip loose again.

"ARGH!"

It wasn't me again. Another guard was hit instead of me. The Marquise was quick to apologize to her poor victim once more.

Seriously, if you can't even hit me, try to control yourself from lashing out.

Of course, I wouldn't say that. I don't want to piss the Marquise more than she is right now. Seeing that she's making a fool of herself, she gave the whip to her deputy, Dame Atkins.

"Well then." the Marquise went back on her interrogation, "Let me warn you, Mister Kuro."

"I'm telling you I don't have anything else to do with—"

"I TOLD YOU TO KEEP QUIET!"

"!!!"

I quickly braced myself for an accurate hit from the whip. But for some reason, Dame Atkins remained unmoved.

"…"

"Uh, Atkins, I think this is the time to fling that whip." the Marquise told her.

"It is?" the Dame blankly stared back to her.

"Yes. It is." the Marquise Monfort could only scratch her head, "Alright, let's just keep away that whip for now, and continue with what I'm about to say."

Whew! At least, I'm safe for now.

"So, Mister Kuro, let me warn you." the Marquise Monfort then went back to her serious self, "The House of Braunhauer, and my house as well, will not tolerate this kind of behavior."

"Yes, I understand." I couldn't help myself but to get disappointed; I mean, I'm just helping that little maid, after all. And now I'm making powerful enemies just because of some stupid customs.

"The next time you propose to Eris, you better learn the Amaranth dishes. It's more luxurious and formal, you know?"

Ha? Come again?

"Want me to teach you how to cook those?" the Marquise returned to her calm self.

"Wait, aren't you angry that I proposed to Eris?"

"Hmm? Why would I?" the Marquise displayed a rather surprised expression, "I'm actually glad that you're the one who did that to her."

"Ha?! Aren't I a jobless, freeloading idiot from another world?"

"Well, never mind that. Don't you know, Mister Kuro? The House of Braunhauer would rather welcome unemployed but intelligent nobodies for their sons-in-law over those filthy-rich yet self-important nobles."

That's a sound reason, but still weird for me.

But wait! What about that 'Men are all the same!' line she was spouting earlier?

"Ah that?" the Marquise Monfort laughed, "I always wanted to try those lines I watched from a theater play that's popular with housewives. Did I act way too good?"

And what about the guards who dragged me here?

"Those are for dramatic effects! I always wanted to try out a real interrogation scene, you know."

"…"

You…you stupid paladin…