The Human Saint Is Bored, So I Was Summoned To Another World

*Somewhere in the Servants' Quarters*

A lone figure of a girl was running down the dark hallways of the Servants' Quarters. She would occasionally trip but would regain her balance, since she has to keep on running. The little light burning on the tip of her finger doesn't help against the darkness being cast by the windows dr.a.p.ed with heavy curtains.

"!!!"

The girl has reached the door that led to safety, but much to her horror, it's locked. No matter how she turned it, the knob just won't budge. Seeing that it's hopeless, the girl gave up and continued on her flight.

"She's over here!"

"Don't let her escape!"

"We already blocked the stairs to other levels!"

The girl could hear her pursuers drawing near her. However, no matter how hard she tried to escape, she could feel her legs are about to give way any minute from now.

She has to find a place where she could hide.

"Come over here!"

"I saw her go towards this direction!"

"Find her quick!"

The mere voices of those who were running after her gave the girl the fright of her life. She had properly locked the door, but still, hearing them come nearer made her heart stop for a few moments.

"…"

But in the end, the voices slowly grew weak until she can't hear them anymore. The girl was able to breathe normally…

The danger had already passed.

"!!!"

The room suddenly lit up. And much to the girl's horror, several of her pursuers are inside with her, barring the only way out. Their wands were all pointed towards her.

"Well, hello Eris!" the leader of the group greeted her with a nasty smile, "I see that you failed in your escape attempt for another time. We're all waiting for you in here this whole time…"

"…" the girl, Eris, remained unmoved. Though she tried to maintain her indifferent face, her legs were wobbling terribly.

"Scared are you, Eris?" the leader asked mockingly, "Well, if you didn't say anything to the Head Maid then nothing would have happened to you, I suppose."

"Y-you're l-lying!" Eris snapped, "E-Eris didn't tell t-the H-head Maid a-about it!"

"Then if it's not you, who is it?"

Eris fell silent. She knew who caused everything that's happening to her right now; it's that strange boy named Kuro. The Head Maid was informed by him about the conditions Eris was forced to worked with, and she began to take action.

"WHO IS IT?" one of her pursuers angrily demanded, grabbing the collar of her sleeping dress.

"I-it's…E-Eris…" Eris' voice was shaking, and she was thrown down on the floor. There's no way that she would tell them about Kuro. She knew these people, and she couldn't take that a sincere person like Kuro would get hurt just because he tried to help her.

Eris would rather die than let them harm him!

"I hate liars, you know." The leader grinned, "And because you lied, we'll have no other choice but to punish you. Are you ready, Eris?"

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Ahh…good 'morning'!

Honestly, that 'interrogation' the Marquise Monfort done to me only served to annoy me. I mean, they disturbed me in the middle of my sleep, went around that horrible 'interrogation' scene, only to be told that I should have cooked Amaranthine dishes instead of my native food.

Seriously, this world is making me tired with their stupidly weird antics.

Well, in the end, Marquise Monfort profusely apologized for her ruckus. So, I just decided to let it go; it wouldn't have done me any good if I continued to be angry with them.

Besides, I'm an a.d.u.l.t anyway. I should be m.a.t.u.r.e in dealing with idiots around me.

But hey, why is the Marquise Monfort so adamant about that girl, Eris?

"…"

Oh well, it's not like I want to have something to do with them. It's their problem, not mine; I got my own problems too.

And, as usual, there's nothing else to do, save for killing a lot of time. Man, I really wish I can do something about my current situation, but as long as the season wouldn't change, I won't be paid anything.

Ah yes, now that I remember it, wages in Chersea are given every start of the new season. I don't exactly know what are the standard salary rates in this world, but according to Lily, the servants working inside the Holy Palatial Gardens are paid a 'maximum of 1 gold coin, and minimum of 50 silver coins'. That goes for both the guards and maids. The nuns who attend to the visitors of the Saint's Cathedral do volunteer work, so of course, they don't get paid.

For me, who is classified as between a 'part-timer' and a 'guest', the Saint has allotted 20 silver coins at every start of the season. Actually, she wanted to give me a starting budget of '50 gold coins' right away—which made the Head Maid of the Treasury Department immediately object, but I refused to accept it out of ethical considerations.

I told Her Holiness that I'd like to properly earn my own keep.

So yeah, that's also the reason why every time I wake up from my 'long' sleep (I guess it's the Chersea term for the sleep that you do for the nighttime back on Earth), I go around the entire Holy Palatial Gardens looking for odd jobs if possible.

Before, when I was newly summoned here, the maids were more than happy to pass to me their duties. But I guess Lily caught wind of it and they got lectured. So, going back to this moment, I'm left without any meaningful thing to do.

Save for reading in the Saint's Library, or helping Eris around…

"…"

Oh, speaking of Eris, I wonder what she's doing right now? Did Lily manage to fix her work issues?

I guess I have to check her out? Problem is, I don't know where I could find her. I mean, she's a member of the Grooming Department after all, their duties require them to be always near Her Holiness.

So it's possible that she's inside the Holy Chambers palace right now. A place I couldn't enter easily…

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Oh well, it's not that I'm worried or anything. The servants here are members of the royalty and nobility, all of them are entitled people. I think they can take care of themselves…

"!!!"

Well, speaking of the devil…

"M-mister K-Kuro!" it was Eris who immediately recognize me. She bumped into me when I turned back to go to my room halfway towards the Holy Chambers palace.

"Oh, hello Eris!" I greeted her with a smile, "So how's your real work? Pretty easy?"

"Ah yes!" Eris bowed in gratitude, "Thank you for helping Eris, Mister Kuro."

"Yep, you're always welcome!" I patted her head gently; heck, it's almost as if I have a little sister with Eris!

"Ow!" Eris suddenly winced in pain and backed off a little from me.

"Huh? Are you okay?" Of course, I was surprised by her reaction. And uh, now that I managed to take a good look at her, her slender arms have faint black, blue and violet patches.

Those are bruises!

"Oi!" I was alarmed, "Where did you get those?"

Eris was silent.

I turned her around to check on her body. My hands gently felt her head, and I managed to figure out a head bump on the part where I patted her earlier. She had her hair covering a part of her face, which is not usual of her, so I also looked on it.

Her right eye had a black bruise.

W-what the f.u.c.k?

"How did you get those?" I asked, my voice raising up due to me being agitated, "Is someone hurting you?"

Eris fiercely shook her head, "E-Eris is s-sorry, M-mister Kuro! S-she has to go."

"Wait, at least let me treat those!" I tried to stop her, but Eris continued to push me away. "You can't work right in that condition, you know?"

"E-Eris just fell off her b-bed." Eris displayed a forced smile, "T-there's n-nothing to worry about!"

Then with a quick bow, Eris scurried off.

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That can't be right.

The image of Eris' bruises remained in my mind. Those kinds of injuries don't come by simply falling off the bed…unless she repeatedly did that. Plus, that bruise on her eye…did the bed also punched her when she fell off?

Of course not!

"…"

Damn, now that I think about it, Eris' overwhelming work duties, the moment that she fainted because of hunger, those bruises, and that strange maid I encountered before I got sick. I guess they're all connected!

Someone's definitely bullying her. But what for?

At that moment, the image of that bitch, Jessica, floated in my mind. That hag must've known something about this!

God, I need to put stop to this shitty situation.

"You called?"

"WHOA!" I almost jumped from my bed when Her Holiness appeared sitting on my bed. She teleported herself again.

"Well, sorry for startling you." Her Holiness displayed her usual smug face, "I heard you calling for me, so I came here."

I remember calling for God though.

"I told you, I'm sort of a god." Her Holiness laughed, "At least in this world, that is."

"Ah anyway, Your Holiness—"

"Yep, I already know Kuro. I've seen it in your mind." The Saint had a serious expression, "And I don't like it either. I need to tell Lily about this tragedy; I'll take responsibility for that poor girl Eris."

"No wait, Your Holiness!" I quickly stopped her just as she was about to teleport, "We need to know the reason behind the actions of those people who harmed Eris, as well as to round up all those who were guilty."

"Well, I can simply read their minds and be done with it." Her Holiness quipped.

"Oh…of course you can do that course of action, Your Holiness." I told her, "But I have something."

"Hm? Let's hear it then." The Saint sat back on the bed.

"I wanted to be honest with you, Your Holiness. After seeing Eris like that, I could only feel anger and disgust to those who harmed her." I explained. "And by now, I know you can see what I have in mind."

Her Holiness fell quiet as she began to realize the things I have been thinking. And then, an evil smirk stretched her lips. She stared at me with bright eyes and said,

"You're one nasty person, Kuro. You have my interest now. Proceed with it then."

"…"

Man, sometimes I wonder if Her Holiness is indeed a Saint or not.

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All of my suspicions about the people who harmed Eris pointed first to the Kitchen Department's Jessica. It's not that I'm accusing Jessica as the one responsible for all of this, but questioning her would definitely be the start of looking for the guilty party.

"What? You're accusing me of something that I won't even do?" Jessica's voice was raised; it's clear that she's offended by me confronting her about Eris.

"I'm just asking, you know." I countered, "Those bruises won't show up unless someone will intentionally hit her."

"Is it my problem then?" Jessica asked mockingly, "Now, if you'll just excuse me, I've got more pressing matters to attend to."

"MISTER KURO!" Eris then appeared at the kitchen door, her labored breaths tell me that she rushed towards here. Perhaps someone told her about what I'm doing with Jessica.

"You came at the right time, Eris!" I greeted her. "Now be a good girl and identify the ones who hurt you."

"B-but Eris fell—"

"I won't hear that excuse!" I told her firmly. "Don't underestimate us, a.d.u.l.ts! We know what we see."

Eris fell silent.

"Ha! She can't even properly refer to herself!" Jessica mocked Eris, "Are you serious about asking that s-s-s-stammer g-g-girl?"

"Shut up." I'm getting really pissed off, "Insult my friend one more time, and I won't be able to hold myself back."

The entire kitchen was silent. I think it's the first time they saw me getting really mad.

Jessica seemed to be taken aback by my threat, but she maintained her aggressive tone, "W-what are you going to do then, weakling?"

"Oh, nothing." I showed her my hand, "I just want to hold you tight, Miss Jessica, that's all!"

Jessica's face suddenly became grim. She quickly drew her wand and pointed it at me, "Stay back, pervert! Or I'll burn you to dust with my magic."

"I won't do that if I were you." I countered while taking a step towards her, while pointing out to the whole kitchen, "Back in my world, we don't play fire inside the kitchen, or we might ignite something flammable. Coincidentally, this place is mostly made of wood, don't you think we all might end up getting charred if you burn us, Miss Jessica?"

"What do you want from me, asshole?" Jessica withdrew her wand; well, at least she's reasonable.

"Simple. Just tell me who did it and why Eris got her injuries."

"I don't know about it. Don't you think you're meddling with our affairs too much?"

"So, you admit that I'm meddling with something I shouldn't have, like bullying a kid like Eris?"

"Guh! What makes you say that?"

"Well, for one, I noticed how you're rude towards her. For example, leaving her with no food for quite some time that she fainted, or how about when you mocked her stammering."

"Those are your evidences?"

"There's a second one, don't worry. You're the head of this kitchen. Of course, your subordinates won't have the confidence to do something horrendous without your tacit support, or direct encouragement."

It's now Jessica's turn to be silent. She had a terrible expression on her face.

Eris, who until now, was silent, finally spoke up. "I-it's all b-because of M-mister Kuro…"

Ha?! Me? What did I do this time?

"W-when M-mister K-Kuro saved the Head M-maid and c-caught the thief."

Oh…those incidents have something to do with this?

"E-Eris t-thought that M-mister Kuro i-is a d-d-different person, s-so she tried to c-convince her f-friends a-about it. B-because of that, E-Eris was b-bullied."

Damn…this little girl got harmed because she trusts me. I want to cry right now…

Cry out of my intense d.e.s.i.r.e to hit that bitch, Jessica, in the head.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Jessica gave out a loud, almost maniacal laugh, "So you say that, Eris! But who would believe you? This pervert?! Look around you, if you will!"

"!!!"

Well, the Bitch's confidence was based on the group of maids who surrounded the two of us and have their wands drawn, ready to attack us anytime.

Eris also drew out her wand, and she put herself between me and Jessica.

"P-please don't l-leave Eris' side, M-mister K-Kuro!"

For god's sake, this kid is trying to protect me!

"What if I say here that this pervert tried to get me pregnant?" Jessica wondered aloud.

God, I'm having had enough dealing with idiots, "I told you before that science has proven that touching skins with the opposite gender won't make you preg—"

"SILENCE PERVERT!"

This is stupid, but I kept quiet.

"I don't care about your 'sayans' or whatever crap you're spouting from your trash world!" the bitch has finally lost her mind, I think? "ALL I CARE IS WHAT HER HOLINESS WOULD SAY ONCE I PLEAD TO HER AGAINST YOU!"

"Well, I'd say you're guilty, Princess Jessica Mae von Albert."

"!!!"

Heh, just in f.u.c.k.i.n.g time. You really do love grand entrances don't you, Your Holiness?

"If I may say, I love going along with your plans, Kuro." Her Holiness the Saint of Chersea winked at me, "My boredom dissipates quickly because of that."

"…"

I think Jessica's soul had already left her mortal body? She's all white and stiff.

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Well, I guess everything went out as I planned.

Hey, I mean, look. I know it sounds bad but I wanted to exact terrible vengeance on the Bitch, Jessica, and those maids who hurt the poor, little Eris. So instead of just letting Her Holiness do the job quickly with her mind reading ability, I asked her to join in my plan.

And you know the story.

Heh, after all, there can be no great and satisfying scene other than to let your enemy think she's winning and then crushing all of her confidence in one careless mistake she commits. Then laugh your way out as she desperately tries to cover her blunders but is actually digging her grave ever more so deeply.

Ah, the beauty of vengeance…

"…"

What, don't stare at me like that, Your Holiness! It's a basic human emotion!

"You know, you may be sincere and all, but I think I don't want to anger you." Her Holiness commented.

"Sorry."

So anyway, by reading Jessica's mind, we managed to catch those who were responsible for hurting Eris. The Bitch herself is not directly involved in that incident, but she—along with the Head Maids of the Grooming and Housekeeping departments—planned to bully Eris for trying to convince the other maids that I'm harmless.

And so, Her Holiness and Lily reached a decision.

"Well, because of these tragic events, Her Holiness the Saint won't tolerate this kind of behavior from you!" Lily admonished her erring subordinates, "From this moment forward, you are hereby declared dismissed from the Holy Service."

Jessica and her companions remained expressionless until hearing that verdict. Eris and I watched on the podium with Her Holiness as Lily began cutting their aprons off.

I guess those are the symbols of 'Holy Service', eh?

The implicated maids, both senior and junior, started to cry. Some were even wailing out loud, especially those who had their aprons cut off already. Even the Bitch, Jessica, is now tearful.

Honestly, watching them is making me waver. They looked so pitiful.

"Well, if you're wondering what will happen to them Kuro," it was Her Holiness who began explaining, "dismissal from the Holy Service is almost equal to excommunication for a noble or royalty. It's a great and utter disgrace."

Wow…that sounds heavy…

I looked at Eris. I can't tell the expression on her face while watching the scene unfold, but she seemed to be pitying those maids that had hurt her before. After all, they were her former comrades.

Ah shit. I hate this kind of scene.

"Eris." I whispered to her, "They hurt you terribly but, what do you say?"

"M-m-mister Kuro…" she reached out for my hand and held it tight.

Yeah, Eris, I know.

"…"

Man, I don't care already!

"Your Holiness!"

"What is it Kuro?"

"Well, I know you can read my mind."

"I suddenly decided not to." Her Holiness displayed a nasty smirk. "I wanted to hear what you wanted to say."

"Err…I, uh…"

"What?"

"Can we reinstate those guys? Eris is being affected emotionally…"

"And…"

"Okay, and so do I." the Saint seemed to be trying to 'steer' me into a decision she wants.

"Why?"

"Ah come on! Do I have to explain it?" I'm again being pulled around by Her Holiness, "Look, your maids over there committed these stupid acts all because they are loyal to you. I mean, it all started because of me, whom they think is a rabid pervert. They wanted to protect you from me, so they began to plan on ejecting me, which didn't succeed. And when Eris began thinking the otherwise about me, they thought I might be seducing her to get closer to you."

"Ohoh…" Her Holiness smiled and nodded as if she understood.

"So yeah, they resorted to these stupid dramas to drive Eris out."

"Okay, so I get it that you don't want them dismissed?"

"Well, isn't that what you—"

"Ahem."

"Yes, it's what I want to say, alright." Her Holiness is pushing the responsibility of this decision to me, huh? Pretty typical of her.

"Alright then." the Saint clapped her hands, "Lily, stop with cutting those aprons. Reissue new ones to those who were already cut. Your man doesn't want any dismissals to happen at this moment." So she says, but I think Her Holiness is also relieved that Eris and I backed down and forgave those idiotic maids.

Well, Her Holiness cares for her servants after all, though she may be a conceited brat sometimes.

"Hey Kuro. That was uncalled for, that last comment about me."

"Ah, Mister Kuro!" it was the Bitch, Jessica. "Thank you for forgiving us." She bowed apologetically. Well, she also changed her way of talking to me just now, so I guess it's pretty fine.

"Don't just thank me; Eris also has part in that decision." I replied to her.

Jessica then turned to the little maid and held her hand. She also bowed apologetically before her, before asking and thanking her for forgiveness.

Then after that, I offered Jessica my hand for a handshake.

"Uh, I really may get pregnant, Mister Kuro."

"As I told you before, touching skins with the opposite gender won't make you pregnant."

"Kuro's right, Jessica." Her Holiness chirped in, "It's pretty harmless; it's just a handshake, you know."

"Oh o-okay…" Jessica then reached out for me and we shook hands.

"You can get pregnant by kissing, by the way." Her Holiness added.

"…"

I was dumbfounded by that. Seriously, Your Holiness?

Why is everyone around me keeps on believing those stupid old wives' tales? I guess I need to find a way on how to tell these girls how pregnancy works soon…of course without sounding perverted and all.

Haaa…anyway. And so ends the part of my story where the 'Isekai' theme suddenly became a lousy 'detective high school' fiction. Well, I don't really understand how did that happen, so don't ask me. And by the way…

This world is really stupid!