The Squire on a White Horse

Chapter 10.1. I Give Myself to You

“I’m very sorry for my disturbance the other day.”

Dana came to the study room after four days of suspension, which had been shortened by three days, and said this with a simple face, as if she was lying about her confusion that day, and bowed deeply to me.

“Look up.”

When I called her “Dana,” she finally raised her head slowly.

I looked into her face.

“I’m glad you’re not hurt. I’m glad you weren’t hurt, but please don’t do anything dangerous like that again. If the other side gets upset, you’ll be in danger.”

After bowing again, Dana sat down in front of me.

But I had to say this, so I opened my mouth.

“But thank you for being angry for me. If I had been alone, I would have run back and said nothing.”

In fact, I was about to pull Dana’s hand and turn back. I knew I had to let them say that nonsense, and I didn’t think I could argue with their words.

“…No.”

After shaking her head quietly, Dana piled the stack of books in her hands on the table.

I wondered if she would go back to her usual routine if I told her that this was the only time I would stop studying.

“Let’s get started.”

I opened the book on customs that Dana had given me to the page she had specified.

“Today, we will discuss the Rite of Chastity.”

“The Rite of Chastity…”

It was a ritual I had never heard of. The idea of chastity seemed to be an insult to the dismissed servants.

“It is a ceremony performed on the wedding night of a married couple. It is a further vow of fidelity made by the couple before God.”

“If you’re going to swear in front of God, then so be it.”

“Lady Florence.”

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

I looked down at the book. On an open, slightly outdated page, there was an illustration of a rose.

“First, prepare a white rose. Do you know what a white rose means?”

“…In this vein, I’d say chastity.”

“Correct. It also means innocence and purity.”

I was asked to read a page from a book.

The explanation is rather complicated and stern, but it seemed to be something as simple as tearing off a white rose petal and feeding it to each other on the wedding night.

You might want to prepare a salad dressing.

“Does everyone who gets married do this ceremony?”

“No.”

Dana shook her head with an exaggerated motion.

“It’s a pity that nowadays men of high rank have been poisoned by the evil tendency of having too many women in their lives. I heard from the florist that it’s a bit of an old ceremony and not many people do it these days.”

“What?” I rolled the fountain pen across the desk.

Then it’s more likely that Stanley doesn’t know about it. There was no way I could ask him to do that.

“Then I don’t need this class.”

“No, you do. Because just the other day, Master Arliss asked me to tell you about it.”

My face jumped up in surprise.

“…Is that after all that trouble?”

“Yes.”

I felt a heavy weight around my chest. I tightened my grip on my skirt.

It was the answer to the question I couldn’t ask him at the time. Even though I didn’t say it, he understood my anxiety.

He told me that he would never be unfaithful. He’s going to prove it to me in action, in the form of a ritual, because he knows I won’t believe him even if he says it in words.

I was happy.

I should be happy, but what spread in my chest was a feeling of guilt that threatened to crush me.

If Stanley was really going to devote his life to me, he would not be able to hold his blood child in his arms forever.

“Oh, I envy you, Lady Florence. It’s hard to find such a sincere man.”

I looked away from Dana, who sighed with an enraptured face.

Everyone praised him. He’s sincere, serious, intelligent, and a gentleman.

Was I going to stand next to someone like that? With this defective body.

I felt like I’d be crushed under the weight.

After a short lesson, I refused Dana’s attempt to follow me and headed to the greenhouse alone.

I knew I couldn’t do anything but worried about what I couldn’t control even if I was alone, but I just wanted to escape from something.

I opened the door to the greenhouse. I could smell the faint aroma of coffee.

I looked around to see if it was a guest, and noticed that someone was sitting in the usual seat in the center.