Tired Of Death

"You'll be okay on your own then?" Dreth asked, gesturing at the Black Skull, which was anchored offshore. "Not that I care you understand, but I'm just curious. We went to a lot of trouble to get your hand back, and I hate to think I wasted my time."

"Never fear landlubber, they be proper respectful now they think Blue be dead," Hooks said.

"Do you think she's dead?" 

Hooks shrugged. "Maybe. Like as not she got away. Slippery one be Blue." He pulled at his beard thoughtfully.

"So we're east of the hills then?" Dreth confirmed, looking about.

They were standing on a beach littered with sharp stones and rocks. A seagull watched them carefully a little distance away, no doubt wondering if they were some kind of interesting new walking fish. The sound of breakers could be heard as the sea washed up against the shore. 

"Aye, due east, as the gull flies," the pirate answered. "There be a village between ye and the hills though. Aint never been there myself, but I hear it's a mite strange. Maybe best detour around it says I."

"I think I can deal with a few bumpkins," Dreth said, tapping his sword. "And we're running low on snacks anyway."

"So be it then." Hooks looked at the group for a second. "Yer a strange crew, no mistaking," he said. "Luck ter ye dead man." With that as a farewell, he turned about and stumped off back to his waiting row boat 

"Thus ends out life as pirates," said the devil, watching him go.

"Good riddance I say," said Frumble. "Life on the ocean wave I can do without."

"Or death on the open wave even," said Percy. "Let's not forget the living dead."

"Oh, blow it our of your a.s.s zombie," said the wizard.

"Why is this midget still alive?" Percy asked. "I'm hungry and he's not got rid of this curse…"

The zombies' complaints faded away as the party made their way inland, towards the hills, and the Prophet of Farsii.

~ * ~

The group peered through the trees at the small settlement. The village ahead didn't look very big, apparently consisting of a single street with crudely built houses on either side. A larger building could just be made out, near the centre Frumble thought it was probably a temple of some sort.

Villagers, all human by the looks of them, wandered around the place. They didn't seem to be anything more than simple peasants for the most part. The small wizard didn't spot any that were armed. He said as much.

"Let's go in and massacre them all then!" said the devil, who was sitting on Dreth's shoulder. 

"I'm inclined to agree," Percy said. "I can't remember the last time I butchered a load of innocents." He looked all wistful for a moment. "The splattering of blood, the sound of bones splintering, the m.o.a.ns and screams of the dying. It'll be like a holiday. Can we Dreth? Please? Can we?" The zombie jumped up and down, clapping his hands together. 

"I don't know," said Dreth, running his chin. "It might slow us down…"

"Oh come on," Cuthbert interjected. "Look at Percy. How can you say no to that hopeful little face?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," said Frumble.

"You can be quiet mage," Dreth said. "I'm only allowing you to keep breathing because you've been useful, and you may yet get rid of this red pest."

"Hey!" said the devil. "Thanks."

"So, how about it? Can we slaughter them like sheep?" asked Percy. He pulled out his rusty dagger and tested the edge, which was notched and blunt.

"I want to kill the people and eat their brains daddy," said Sprat.

"We all do lad," Cuthbert said. "We all do."

"You can't just go in and kill a whole village!" Emerald complained. 

"You're right," Dreth said. "Some will get away. There're not enough of us to catch them all. Still, if we do it right we can probably get a fair few before they catch on." He tapped the handle of his sword.

Emerald looked desperately at Tybalt, who stepped forward. "Don't you think it's strange? An apparently harmless village out here on its own? They must have some kind of hidden defences This area's pretty wild you know, there are constant battles between settlements. Yet here this lot are, seemingly without any warriors, all unharmed. There's more going on than meets the eye."

"You may have a point." Dreth nodded. "Something doesn't feel right, and old Hooks said they were a bit strange. Perhaps you and the wizard should go and scout things out first. See if they have any secrets we should know about."

"Us?" asked Frumble. 

"You got a problem with that shorty?" Dreth asked.

"Well…" Frumble looked at the village doubtfully. "I suppose not, but I can't help remembering what happened last time you sent us in to scout a place out."

"This is a little village," said Dreth. "Real was a different proposition. Go on with you now. Hurry back."

The mage looked at Tybalt, who shrugged. "May as well."

"Great." Frumble took a firm grip on his staff and ran through the list of spells he had ready. "Come on then." 

Without waiting to see if the rogue was following, he left the cover of the undergrowth and stepped out on to the road, trudging along it and cursing the fate that had managed to involve him with a mad half dead being and his insane quest.

"Looks innocent enough," said Tybalt, catching up with him. 

The village main street was little more than a wide, dusty road. On either side were rundown houses, little more than huts in most cases, mainly constructed from wood, though one or two were brick. It was a depressing place.

"They're probably all werebeasts knowing my luck," said the wizard despondently. He looked at his companion. "My legs aren't long enough to run away, but why are you still here?" he asked. "You don't have to be dragged along through all this."

"Emerald," the man replied promptly, going all misty-eyed. "I've never met anyone like here. For her I'd go to the ends of the earth."

"Be careful what you wish for," Frumble said. "Steady up now, here we go."

The two traipsed into the village, where several people immediately smiled at them and approached. 

"Welcome travellers!" said one man in a blue robe. "My name's Dave. Welcome to the village of Farsii."

"Farsii is it?" asked Frumble. "Does that mean the Seer is near here?"

"No more than an hours walk over yonder hills," said Dave, smiling and gesturing towards the other end of the street. More villagers, most of them dressed in similar robes, were wandering over to greet the newcomers. They were all smiling too. 

"Ahh, good. Good," said Frumble, scratching his ear and looking about uneasily. 

"But you don't want to go there," said Dave. "The guardian beast is fearsome indeed. Far better you rest here. We live a simple life under the guidance and protection of our god, Contenx. A simple life but a pleasant one. You'll be quite content."

"Ah, well," Frumble said, edging slightly closer to Tybalt. "That's a very generous offer I'm sure, but we really can't stay long. We have friends waiting."

"No problem!" Dave said, smiling so widely Frumble began to wonder if he was on some kind of funny pills. "There's room for all in Farsii Village. Isn't that right?"

"Aye!" came the answer from the other villagers. Frumble started, he hadn't realized how many were around them.

"Weirdos," whispered Tybalt in his ear. "Let's get out of here." Then, in a louder voice: "Wonderful! We'll just go and fetch our friends then." The two turned around, facing the way they had come, but the villagers stepped forward, blocking their way.

"I'm sorry," said Dave. "You can't do that."

"What?" Frumble looked left and right. They were seriously outnumbered. "Why?"

"Oh, no one leaves Farsii," Dave said. "No ones wants to you see? It's so lovely here. You'll understand in time. Come this way, let's make you comfortable shall we?"

The crowd pushed forward, and Frumble moved with them. It wasn't like he had a great deal of choice in the matter.

~ * ~

Belinda 'Knives' Raxor cursed to herself as she opened the gate to her small garden. If she'd known getting married and settling down meant haggling for vegetables without killing people, she'd have thought twice about it. It was alright for James, he was out raiding, no doubt having a great time, slicing down innocent villagers and plundering their treasures. Just as long as he didn't partake of the other, she'd have words to say about that oh yes.

Taking a deep breath, she dropped the sack of supplies outside her back door, which was hanging open. This didn't worry her. The small house was set well outside the village, in a secluded spot facing the beach. Both times the settlement had been raided they'd escaped notice. Maybe it was worth the walk after all. Just as long as the kids hadn't drowned themselves whilst she was away.

As if they heard her thinking, Red came dashing out of the house, with little Max close behind, s.u.c.k.i.n.g on his finger. 

"Ma! You're back!" The small boy leaped into her arms. "Did you kill anyone? I want their scalp!"

Belinda smiled and ruffled the young boys hair. "If the price of vegetables goes up much more I may have to start raiding with your father again."

"When's daddy coming back?" Max asked. 

"Soon," she replied, looking out over the sea, as if the boat's sail would suddenly appear. No, they weren't due back until tomorrow at the earliest. She brought her attention back to the kids. "What have you been doing all day? Have you been good?"

"Yes ma," Red said. "We saw a man walk out of the sea."

"Did you now?" she replied, not really paying attention as she picked up her bag again and started inside. "What did he want?"

"He was angry and we were scared at first," Red replied. 

"And wet," Max interjected. 

"And wet," agreed Red. "But he said he wasn't angry with us. A big monster had sunked his ship and he had to walk under the water until he came here again."

"And he had no shoes," added Max. "And he had a dead man too. And the dead man was his friend."

"Was not so," Red said. "He was his… monion?" He looked puzzled.

"Minion," Belinda replied absently. "Now, what did I tell you boys about making stories up? Go and wash your hands. Dinner will be ready soon."

"Red gave him your shoes," Max said.

"Oh! I didn't!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did… ow!" The argument was cut short with the help of a swift clip around the ear from Belinda, who was too tired to listen to youngsters argue.

"Enough stories! Go and wash!" she commanded, and glared at them until they did as they were told.

It wasn't until later, long after the kids were asleep, that she realized her slippers were nowhere to be found.