Tunnel Rat

Chapter 105: Cheese Class

Milo felt a small bit of regret as Brutus tucked away his cheddar into a large pouch, but the sound of Larry begging for cheese was enough to convince him ten times over that this was the right decision. "You mentioned some classes? I think I need those. But I've never been in a hollow before, can you give me some advice on what to do or not to do." So far, people had seemed friendly here, but there were friendly people in Shadowport too, along with quiet a few bad ones.

Brutus grinned at his question. "Sure thing! One of a guard's duties is to help new people fit in. Lots of small nests out in the caves send us their young whelps for some schooling, and lately we've had something called 'players' show up. They’re like cave whelps but not nearly as well trained. But we'll get them straightened out. Let's go introduce you to Master Bleusnout and then I'll show you around a bit."

The huge chef was cleaning his pots and pans, scouring the cast iron with sand and then oil, while Riftkin carefully washed the more delicate copper pots. Brutus swaggered up, put his nose up, and took a big sniff of the air. "My, something sure smells good around here."

Bleusnout snorted. "Tossing out compliments in the hopes of getting the leftovers? I hope you can do better than that next time." From an oven he pulled out a half loaf of toasted bread, spread butter across the top and sprinkled on garlic and the barest hint of grated parmesan. The loaf was cut in quarters with a slice each going to Riftkin, Smiley, Brutus and Milo. Milo had never had anything so delicious. If only they made food like this in real life. Bleusnout watched him intently.

The chef looked Milo up and down. "I'm glad you enjoy my cooking, but maybe you enjoy it just a bit too much? Will I be seeing you in class tomorrow?"

Milo hesitated but Brutus spoke up. "You sure will. Tallsqueak just came into town today. He already has some of his time claimed by Gilad as a punching bag...sorry, I mean as an 'assistant instructor'. That will take up his time until 5th bell."

"With Gilad? Well, you'll be hungry afterwards then, what is left of you. No, I jest. The Tail-Master will work you hard but he rarely breaks bones until he begins teaching regeneration. Come see me at the 5th bell. You can eat and then help Rifkin with some chores before classes at 6th bell.”

“Make sure he understands the important rules Brutus. Now go, I have to deal with Larry."

"No trouble at all sir. C'mon Tallsqueak, lets show you around a bit."

The two of them walked out a different door, but Brutus immediately took him to a window where they could look back inside. "I'm getting the feeling your nest didn't teach you all the basics so let's go over some rules you'll have to abide by in the Hollow."

"The most important rule is: Until Bleusnout gives you a passing grade in his classes don't even think about eating cheese outside of meals in his mess hall. And only what he gives you. If someone offers you cheese, refuse politely, then tell me, or Justin, or Bleusnout. People who do that aren't your friends."

"Secondly, if you catch wind of anyone smuggling in cheese from the outside, you let us know. Too much cheese in a Hollow will cause problems. I'm talking about Larry sized problems. Some people are making a lot of gold bringing in cheese somehow from some other city. Might be humans, spiders, or gnomes. There was even talk that the Collective was running illicit cheese."

"Lastly, everyone contributes, or they don't eat. Gilad paid for your meals for three days. And you can bunk with me and Justin. The guard shack has some extra bunks. After that though, you need to earn points for doing chores or contributing to the Hollow. The basic class on controlling your appetite is free of course. Other classes you'll have to pay for if you are interested in learning things."

"So, got all that?"

Milo nodded. He understood. He also knew he'd already smuggled in four large, twenty-pound wheels of cheddar, and several smaller ones. Did it count as smuggling if it was in another dimension? Probably. The name of the ability seemed to imply exactly that. Brutus's whispered voice brought him out of his thoughts and back to watching the scene unfolding on the other side of the window.

Three loud bangs shook the building. Bleusnout called out. "Hello, is someone at the door?"

"Yes, Larry is is at the door. Larry wants to come in. Can Larry come in?"

"Yes, Larry can come into my house today. Wipe your feet and promise to behave." Larry pushed open the door, wiped some of the mud off his feet and scampered into the room. Bleusnout encouraged him with soft words and got him to sit at a table. Rifkind brought out a plate with large mushrooms, carrots, and potatoes.

Larry looked at the plate. Larry sniffed the plate. Larry decided he'd rather have cheese and pushed it away from him. "Cheese for Larry?"

Bleusnout rapped Larry on his sensitive nose. "No! No cheese for Larry. Larry needs to follow the rules. Eat your dinner. No dinner, no cheese!"

Larry considered and then began stuffing the other food into his mouth and rapidly swallowing it. Bleusnout smiled at Larry, took the plate, and then placed a small sliver of cheese in front of Larry. Larry trembled, but didn't take it. After ten seconds the Cheese Master nodded to him and Larry put the small bit in his mouth, rubbing his belly and making happy noises. "More cheese for Larry?"

Bleusnout was firm. "No more. Chores for Larry at two bells. Breakfast for Larry at three bells." Larry got up sadly and walked out of the room, shutting the door.

Milo was horrified. "How long until he gets better?"

Brutus shrugged. "No one knows. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Larry took some bad advice and tried to become stronger. He wanted to be a great warrior. He outpaced all the other trainees in his group, but then the cheese took over. He's strong, but he lost a lot of himself. Now all he enjoys is eating cheese and fighting. Which is tough, since only Gilad, me, or Justin can really fight him and not get hurt. So, when Bleusnout says Larry needs some exercise to help him calm down, either Gilad or I get some extra cuts and bruises."

"But enough about that, you have any questions? We can do the grand tour, or if you're tired, we can head to the guard shack. You need to be up early. If you get up at two bells you can grab something quick in the mess hall and then be at Gilad's arena by third bell. You want to be on your toes and tail for him."

Between fighting and learning about the pitfalls of too much cheese, Milo was actually quite tired. He let Brutus show him to the guard shack where he fell into a bunk and immediately went to sleep in the game, his body in the pod already doing the same.

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