What A Useless Almighty Being You Are

When i woke up my whole body hurts for some reason. I got up and scan the surrounding. I was surprise because i am back to where i died.(in the middle of the bridge)

I am confused, i thought i was suppose to reincarnate to a different world. Did the useless God made a blunder? My smirk is through the roof thinking how to extor.... i mean get some benefits from the useless God.

"But before that i need to pick a character before complaining to him. Maybe i'll get more benefit that way"-Keith

With a evil smirk on my face i open the System Interface. 'Hmmmm something's wrong. The system doesn't have a personality? Maybe something happened to the system when i failed to reincarnate' thinking that i open the Character Slot.

"So i can only choose one character to integrate it to a main body? since i have my original body does that mean i retain most of my feature? Well unless i pick a character i wont know"-Keith

I click the search bar to search for my favorite character of all time.(guess who?)

I look around to see if there's a human in the vicinity. 'Hmmm it's midnight so there wont be anybody who'll pass by right? To be sure i guess i will go to the Forest Park 500 meters away from the bridge'

When i arrive i feel like the forest is staring at me. It's so creepy i can hear various insects and frogs.

"GULP* I am not scare i am not"-Keith

I gather my courage to walk inside its so dark i can't see well. I can just see the silhouette of the trees when i am 2 feet away from it.

"This should be far enough" i said as i restlessly look around. I open the interface then click the character i want. Suddenly a dim light emanated from my body.

My black hair became blonde then a formal black suit with white necktie appears on my body then a white gloves, white shoes and a crimson, no more like blood red colored coat with black feather like patterns on the upper part extending to the long sleeves.

In the Character Slot that used to be empty, a full body shot of a long-haired blonde beautiful woman wearing a blood red dress and a long gloves extending through the arm. In the top part of the dress a bountiful mountain covered by a black feathery like fabric that even law of physics doesn't work ( how can that piece of fabric hold that biological weapon of mass destruction!)

Beside her is a 2.5 meter long(this is bullshit i don't know how long that Katana is). I search my body thoroughly however i can't find it.

"Where's my Katana? Do i really need to do the exact same thing as she did when pulling the Katana? Uwaaaah"-Keith

Gathering my courage i inhaled and exhaled deeply 'Concentration Breathing Technique!'

I stab my left hand in my stomach then pull out exaggeratedly, lots of blood came out then a ridiculously long katana came out.

"AAAAARRRGGGGHHH!! This FU**ing HURTS!!! I wont do this EVER again!"-Keith

Raising the black hilted katana up "This Kokorowatari sure is incredible. However i can't use this in this world. Earth doesn't have any anomalies or the like(Oddities)."

That's right boys. i selected Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade to be my character however i am the male version.

Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade

Title: The Iron-blooded, Hot-blooded and Cold-Blooded Vampire

Abilities: Supernatural Physical Characteristic, Immortality, Extreme Regeneration, Portal Creation, Time Manipulation, Vampirism(can create vampire through drinking one's blood),Energy Drain(Can drain the energy or stamina of a living being/oddities to death if required), Charm[Passive](Human/Oddities gather around herself even if she doesn't want it), Weapon mastery, Limited Flight( Can create a weak wings on her back and slowly glides through the air), Telekinesis, Temperature Manipulation(Can manipulate her temperature and create fire or ice through her body)

Weapon: Kokorowatari(Can cut/kill any oddities)

Weakness: Heart

"Uwaaaahhh Kiss-Shot sure is OP at the same time not OP, fufufufu it's time to extor.... i mean get some benefits from the ALMIGHTY BEING WHO DOESN'T MAKE ANY MISTAKE!"-Keith

With a smugly face i open the System Interface "HELLO HELLO HALLO!!! God who is almighty and forgiving, i beseech thee to appear before me for I, will atone for my MISTAKES!"-Keith with a mocking tone.

A radio-like sound came out of the interface then the face of an old man with a grim face appeared, when i saw that, i was so happy that i nearly laugh out loud in the middle of the night.

"What do you want?"-God

"Whats with that tone? Do you want me to say to your face the mistake that you've made? You said to me that i won't get any points and level up in this world because there is no worthy adversary and the balance will crumble, see this?(swinging the Kokoro watari left and right) how am i suppose to use these haaahh?????!!"-Keith

"When you finished transforming into your character, a large scale of oddities is what you called? appeared all around the world. The People who's suppose to be a fiction characters became alive. This is the first time i've seen this happen, so even though i'm a God i do not know everything. The World will always balance itself"-God

"WHAAAAAAT!! Araragi and co. became alive? so the world of Monogatari integrated itself to Earth? Hmmm interesting, the world will balance itself right? God i have a experiment do you want to know?"-Keith

With a keen interest in his eyes, God said "OHOHO young man you've grown up(wipes tears) I'm interested so what is it?"

Uwaaah this old man is so irritating i wanna punch him just once!!

"Why not create the Beasts and monsters of other world then release them here? It's a win win situation right? i get to gather points and level up because there's an enemy. I'm sure the world will have a solution if it goes wrong then just create a dungeon all around the world to trap then inside then i will annihilate then one by one"-Keith

"If i create beast and monsters through my direct power they will become a divine beast of some sort so i can't do that, however i can transport then from the other worlds"-God

Not asking for my opinion hundreds and thousands of gate appeared all around the world then countless beast and monster appeared terrorizing the humans all around the world.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID USELESS SHIT!! I have not finish my suggestion!!!!!!"-Keith

But before i can continue my complains. A large towers appeared all around the world then s.u.c.k.i.n.g all the unwanted creatures inside, 'i thought he's stupid but he's not maybe i've gone overboard with my words'

Before i can apologize God murmured "Amazing!! the Earth Balanced itself again by creating a Dungeons and trap all the unwanted creatures inside, because they are not suppose to be here, Earth created a cure!"-God

'i take back all my word, he's stupid and useless!' then something clicked inside my head, 'if they are unwanted....' i looked at the Kokorowatari in my hand, a big grin appeared on my face.

"So for the compensation that i will have because you messed up, wanna hear my wishes/benefits?(GRIN GRIN)"-Keith