What Do You Mean I'm The King Now??

"Ember!" I call out. Instantly, a ball of red flame, the size of an apple, shoots out of my outstretched hand and flies towards a group of goblins. It hits the one standing in front, a particularly hideous fellow with numerous facial piercings holding a club, and sets its clothes aflame. Feeling the heat against its skin, the goblin immediately panics and begins running recklessly about. This, of course, only serves to fan the fire. Whatsmore, in its panic, the flaming goblin collides with the other goblins around it, setting its allies ablaze as well. Before long, the group of two dozen goblins are all on fire, slowly burning to a crisp from the effects of my simple spell.

"Not too bright, are they?" I muse silently, "Someone should have taught them how to stop, drop and roll."

I don't get to enjoy my small victory for long however, as I see a pair of goblins charging at me from the right, brandishing a scimitar each. The first of the pair lifts both hands and makes a downward slash at my c.h.e.s.t. I parry the strike with my rapier and push back, throwing the goblin off balance. As the first goblin stumbles, the second one takes its place, aiming for my head with a right-to-left slice. Unable to recover my rapier in time to defend, I duck my head and throw my shoulder forward into a roll that brings me standing several feet away from the two goblins. As I turn back to face them, I notice that the two goblins are shaking their heads to and fro, as if looking for where I went. I take advantage of their momentary confusion and throw my rapier in their direction. My sword cuts through the air, impaling both goblins simultaneously. The two goblins look down at the sword protruding from their c.h.e.s.ts in surprise, then collapse to the ground, dead. I walk over and, using my foot to keep their bodies in place, retrieve my rapier, pulling it out of their corpses.

Flourishing my rapier, I swing it through the air to rid it of all the goblin blood, flesh and shit. Then I survey the surroundings, trying to assess how many more enemies are left. Between my fire magic and swordwork, I see less than ten goblins still alive. Some are in the process of fleeing, while others stand around aimlessly, as if unsure whether to proceed with the battle.

Looking to my left, I catch sight of a three-foot tall goblin staring menacingly at me, a three-foot long club gripped tightly in its hand. It doesn't make a move for me though, likely cautious after having seen what happened to its allies.

An idea suddenly pops into my head, something that I have always wanted to try. With fleet footwork, I dash towards the goblin. Rather than just strike it directly however, I instead leap off a nearby tree and do a backflip through the air. My body flies over the goblin, landing behind it, and before it can react to my new position, I thrust my rapier straight through its throat, the tip of my sword emerging from its agape mouth, killing it instantly.

"F.u.c.k.i.n.g A!" I yell excitedly, throwing my sword hand into the air. As I do so however, the aftermaths of my antics suddenly hit me. I must have pulled a muscle or something while doing the backflip because my lower back suddenly spasms and locks up. A sharp pinching sensation ratchets my body, and I abruptly crumble to the ground, writhing in pain. "F.u.c.k.i.n.g A!" I cry out again, though for a very different reason this time.

Some of the remaining goblins must have seen my incapacitated state, as I suddenly hear a thumping of footsteps rushing towards me. I look up just in time to see three goblins, scimitars flailing, making their way to my position. With some effort, I lift my left hand and point it at the goblins. "Ember!" I call out, but nothing emerges. For a second, I'm confused, but then I quickly realize what has happened. "F.u.c.k! I'm out of mana!" And my rapier is still stuck in that other goblin's throat. "Not good!"

Instinctively, I raise my arm to shield myself, not that it will do much against an iron scimitar. Just before the three goblins can slice me up however, I hear a whiz! sound overhead. As I follow the noise with my eyes, I find that three arrows have made their way directly into the goblins' c.h.e.s.ts, killing them where they stand. Initially, I'm shocked, but then I quickly realize what has occurred.

"Candy! Nice shot!" I shout out in excitement. I turn my head back, spotting my elf companion in a tree about twenty feet away, and I give her a thumbs up. Then I turn to the three dead goblins, noticing the precision of Candy's arrows, straight through each goblin's c.h.e.s.t. I give a sympathetic nod and place a hand over my own. "Don't worry fellas. I know the feeling. ~Shot through the heart~"

As I hum the lyrics of the song, my eyes scan the surroundings. I notice that all the goblins have either fled or have been slain, and I let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, that could have ended badly...I really should save the crazy acrobatics for when my dex is a bit higher," I mumble, a hand still on my throbbing back. Then I stand up slowly and go and retrieve my rapier. Just as I sheath it into its scabbard, I hear a voice call out to me from behind.

"King Ash!"

When I turn around, I am greeted by the sight of Candy's well-endowed body sprinting towards me, her b.o.o.b.s bouncing up and down as she runs. When she reaches me, she tosses her bow and arrows to the side and pulls me into a tight embrace. I return the gesture. She's still n.a.k.e.d, and I can feel the smoothness of her skin beneath my fingers, slightly damp from the noon heat and our recent combat. "King Ash! I'm so glad you're unhurt! When I saw those goblins coming at you, I was so worried!"

I look into her big, golden eyes and smile. "You did great, Candy. You really saved my bacon back there."

Candy's face lights up. "King Ash praised me!" She giggles and then tackles me to the ground in her excitement, wrapping her hands around the back of my head. In this position, my face is pressed tightly into her bosom, smothered by her two large b.r.e.a.s.ts.

"C-Candy! I-I can't breathe!"

"Oh my, I'm so sorry, King Ash!" Candy says, pulling back. She slides a bit further down my body, so that we are eye-to-eye, rather than face-to-c.h.e.s.t, "I'm just so happy right now."

I can see the delighted expression on her face, her normally pale cheeks now a rosy pink. Her golden eyes flutter to and fro, before gazing passionately into my own. All the while, I can feel her body squirming l.u.s.tfully about, her pelvis gyrating into my groin. I feel myself grow hard, and my own l.u.s.t builds, the feeling mounting rapidly until-

"W-wait, Candy, if you keep doing that, I'm gonna-"

Too late.

My body tenses, and I feel a wetness spreading into my pants. Now suddenly hypers.e.n.s.i.t.i.v.e, I quickly push Candy away. Then I close my eyes, in both bliss and shame. "F.u.c.k," I mumble softly, "My level's still too low. I definitely need more experience."