How To Stay Immortal

''... F.u.c.k you! Fortuna!...'' Complaints a like child deity by the name of Gaukler to the goddess of destiny in the Realm of Gods. ''... You told me my destiny was it to become the hero and get all the good looking girls. What did I get in the end?''

''You got what was preordained. Why are you complaining to me?'' Answers the goddess smiling, enraging the young deity even more.

''I may be complaining to you because you are the goddess of fortune and destiny! Two times did you f.u.c.k me over already...'' Shouts Gaukler at her, his patience thread already snapped.

The first time Gaukler had descended into the lower realms to rank up from Deity to God, Fortuna f.u.c.k.e.d with him the first time. She saw to it that he was incarnated into the lowest of the lower realms a place called Helheim. As the designated Realm of the Dead, it is a land of darkness and extreme conditions from the unyielding cold to infernal warmth the extreme temperatures are so lethal that even full-fledged gods and goddesses are unable to survive there for long. Living in the home to those who die as criminals, of disease, mishap, and age end up spending eternity in the City of Dis, Gaukler had been unable to claim his own godhood. What he got was a life of eternal servitude to the Thanatos, God of Corpses. In the end, he returned home by smashing his 'Immortal Lanter' and killing himself.

The second time Gaukler incarnated into the bright realm of Alfheim. Adorned with abundant and colorful flora, alongside luminous fauna which glitters the lands and skies of the realm, he was neither able to become a god more a hero. Living in a pathologically peaceful society Gaukler was once again not given the opportunity to shine. That life, contrary to his last one was short lived when he took possession of the Book of Creation.

Ending up getting killed the young deity once again ended up returning home once again empty-handed Gaukler confronts the person responsible for his two unlucky lifetimes, resulting in his current situation.

''... Now tell me how the heck do you want to compensate me for what you did? Don't you dare shift responsibility!''

Upset by the attitude the young deity shows her by reprimanding not only her but also lecturing her about the nature of her domain, Fortuna shouts back at him. ''Compensate you?! Do you honestly expect me to compensate everybody for their bad luck?''

''I didn't come looking for you the first time, f.u.c.k you for screwing with me once. Not coming looking for you, after you screw with me twice, I should go f.u.c.k myself. Seeing that I am still a deity, it is only natural for me to demand compensation from you!...'' Gaukler explains to her, very satisfied with the woman's reaction to his demand. ''... Now seeing that I am about to descend a third and last time I demand insurances from you.''

''Like hell, you get some from me!'' Screams Fortuna in her high pitched voice, her flame-kissed hair blasted back from the power of her voice.

''As the last of us natural borne beings I demand compensation!...'' The childlike deity shouts back at her with a low pitched and threatening voice. ''... If you don't I will have the others force you!''

Hearing Gauklers last threat Fortuna's furious demeanor cools of and her rosy face is instantly devoid of color. Feeling wronged the goddess of destiny can only surrender her dignity and yield to the deities demand compensation. ''Fine. What do you want as compensation?''

''What finally yielding? So soon? That was easier than I thought!...'' Dante tells her crushing her dignity under his foot. ''... Now let me think for a moment...''

-What can I extort from her... Ah! First the obviously I want to have a blank destiny. I can't allow her to screw with me a third time! Second I will want to be immortal in the lower realms, better take an 'Immortal Lantern' with me. Third I will want to have a path of guaranteed godhood... I better take a 'Book of Creation' with me...-

Spending some time contemplating his exact demands Gaukler doesn't realize that Fortuna is making her own plans to mess with him a third time.

''... I demand three things. First a blank destiny, second an 'Immortal Lantern' and third the 'Book of Creation'...''

Hearing his demands Fortuna is showing a face of pure surprise and shock, never having contemplated the possibility of being extorted.

''... If you can't fulfill all three I will have to talk to the others.'' Gaukler says, casually threatening her while showing a bright smile on his face.

Sighing in resignation about what she is forced to agree to Fortuna nods saying. ''So be it, but don't come running to me if you are still unable to become a true god this time.''

Nodding in agreement Gaukler tells her. ''Deal. This time I will only return as a true god.''

Swiping her slender hand in the void to execute her holy domain to fulfill his demands, Fortuna suddenly shows the hint of a wicked smile. Seeing the goddess show a smile on her face Gaukler is unable to question her because the next moment he is already in the process of descent and incarnation.