I Slept Through The Apocalypse

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Principal Hardy stared at his ringing office phone. He was contemplating whether to pick it up or not. What if it was another parent calling to file a complaint against one of the teachers? That just meant more work for him to deal with. As if the pile of paperwork on his desk wasn't enough to deal with already.

"How did it come to this?" He asked himself. When he was in high school, he was voted most likely to succeed and was captain of the football team. Those were the days. Now he was 48, with a bald spot, lived alone and did paperwork everyday for the last twenty years of his life.

He wished the world would just end itself. If humanity could revert back to it's true, raw state. Thing were much simpler back then. Everyday was unpredictable, dangerous, and exciting. Every night, Principal Hardy would stow himself away in his room and read books. Books which told tales of heroes fighting colossal beasts, books where explorers ventured their world in search of magic treasures, books where adventurers discovered secret civilizations hidden in foreign lands and saved the world. He loved adventure. He thirsted for it.

Society had wore him down. After highschool, was college. Then comes the degree, and the job and perhaps more degrees, to have a chance at more promising jobs, then a family, and then retirement after a few decades. Society had systematized everything. There was no more thrill, no adventure, only grinding for the next paycheck.

This series of sorrowful thoughts slipped through and out his mind in just a moment's time. The phone continued to ring.

"I guess I should pick it up," Principal Hardy paused for a second before picking up the ringing phone.

"Hello? This is Principal Ha―"

"This is Trudy"

"Ohmygod Trudy? How've you been, it's been almost 20 yea―"

"Look outside"

"Okay...Oh. What is tha―?"

"I don't have much time, NASA is a mess right now. Get your kids in the emergency bunker. I still have to make calls to the other schools in the estimated crash zone―"

"Wait! Estimated crash zone? What's going o―?"

"Shut up and listen to me Victor, there's a huge foreign object headed towards your state."

"My state? That's a pretty general statement. Pun not intended."

"That's because it's radius is about the same as your state."

"WHAT? It's the size of a state! Would it even matter if I evacuated anyone, we're practically all going to die."

"It's worth a try. We don't want them to panic."

"Okay fine" Principal Hardy signaled to his secretary outside and then pointed out the window. Then he mouthed silently to her: "Announcement… students...bunker"

The secretary looked shocked as she looked outside and then hurriedly left to evacuate the students.

Principal Hardy quickly returned to the phone

"By the way, Trudy in case this is the last you hear from me, I'm sorry about―you know... back then…"

"...I accept your apology."

"...How is Terrence? Did you two get married yet?"

"He was a jerk. We broke up eighteen years ago"

"Nice! Oops―I mean...sorry that didn't work out"

Victor paused, then slowly spoke, "A―are you seeing anyone?"

"You really want those to be your last words?"

"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back"

A faint giggle could be heard on Trudy's side.

"You're still such an oddball, Victor... Fine, I will tell you... I am currently single."

"I'm relieved!" Victor let out a huge sigh, "In that case would you be down to get coffee sometime?"

There was no response from the phone. Victor squinted aggressively at the phone speaker as if it was his sworn nemesis.

"Trudy?"

"Trudy."

"Trudy!"

"..."

There was still no response. The phone line was dead.

Victor indignantly slammed on his desk, "Damn! How are the Heavens going to let me die without closure like this! Even Captain America got a response before he plummeted into the Arctic. This is messed up! Do you hear me heavens? This is really messed up!"