I Treat You as a Brother

68 – Fantastic Anime Appreciation

Translator: tamago

Editor: Yin

Xu Xiran soon regretted his decision.

He then pondered two questions over and over again.

Was Fang Mo joking around or not?

Why did he himself refuse back then?

As a result of overthinking, a continuation of another outcome had appeared in his dreams that night.

Fang Mo was kneeling on his bed with his body pressed down low, but with his eyes still raised, smiling and gazing at his face.

Xu Xiran saw himself reaching out to caress his short hair, brushing the slightly longer strands near his temple behind his ears, and gently rubbing his earlobes.

Then, he watched Fang Mo lower his head and stick out the tip of his tongue, to then carefully lick and suck it in.

Up until the outline of his cheeks was clearly defined.

He let out a breathless sound, and tears welled up from his red eyes.

Xu Xiran’s thumb brushed over the mole under his tear, and his fingertip wiped away the warm teardrop. Then he praised him: “You did well.”

~

The first thing Xu Xiran did when he woke up in the morning was to put on a new pair of clean underwear.

The terrible but wonderful dream did not relieve his confusion in any way, and instead only made it worse.

As he sat in class, those two questions were still circling in his mind.

Fang Mo had to have been joking. He must have found his reactions funny and wanted to tease him, watch his reactions, and make fun of him. This guy would often do things that didn’t measure up sometimes. But was it possible that there was some sincerity to it? If he hadn’t refused then, would everything have just continued naturally? Maybe Fang Mo really thought it wasn’t a big deal, and was simply helping out. The scenario from his dream definitely wouldn’t have happened, but using his hands would have also been fine.

Xu Xiran lay on his desk, raised his arms, and covered his head and hot ears.

So why did he refuse!

A hundred million yuan had fallen from the sky, but he clutched his pocket and loudly proclaimed that he couldn’t accept it. And now, only God knows if he could still find the same store after going past this village1.

If he could recreate the situation again, no matter how nervous, embarrassed, or uneasy he would feel, he would definitely make the right choice. Then when the time came, he would reciprocate the courtesy, and help him back, and when the feelings get into full swing, it would be too wonderful for words.

In that case, how could he recreate this?

He could pretend to feel dead when he goes back, and say that his legs are so sore that he would be disabled, and tell him that he needs to come and massage them immediately. Or he could tell him that it would be rude to not reciprocate, and put him on the bed under the guise of a massage and touch him from head to toe.

Thinking about R-rated images in class had some terrible consequences. When the bell rang, he was unable to get up as a part of his body was also up.

Xu Xiran leaned forward on his table and awkwardly sent Fang Mo a message, telling him that he would be ten minutes late and asked him to wait a little longer.

Then he took a deep breath, opened his political science textbook, and carefully read every word.

The effectiveness was outstanding.

Just as he finally managed to resolve the crisis, he quickly packed his things and planned to fly to Fang Mo’s side when immediately, an unfamiliar voice suddenly came from ahead.

“Xu Xiran, are you going to have lunch with Fang Mo later?”

Xu Xiran looked up and found that it was the girl who was chatting with Fang Mo on the sidelines a few days ago. Although they were in the same class, the two did not have many personal interactions before. Xu Xiran thought hard, and could only remember that her surname was Xia.

He slightly furrowed his brows: “What’s up?”

This girl happened to know their plans, and the only way she would have known would be because Fang Mo had told her. In other words, they must have privately been keeping in touch. This realization made Xu Xiran feel very unpleasant.

“You can take this. It has what I promised to share with Fang Mo,” the girl blushed a little and handed over a USB flash drive, “The campus network is too garbage, and I don’t have enough internet speed, so I just put it all in there. You can give it to him later.”

Xu Xiran reached his hand out to receive it: “What is this?”

The other party lowered her head, and seemed embarrassed: “Resources.”

“Ah?” Xu Xiran was a little taken aback.

The innocent-looking girl in front of him still looked shy: “It’s basically all high-definition and uncensored content.”

“……”

Xu Xiran looked at the cute USB flash drive in the shape of pink fruit candy in his hand and fell into deep thought.

The girl smiled at him: “Okay, I’ll be heading out now!”

“Wait, wait,” Xu Xiran called to stop her, “Why are you two sharing… this… this kind of stuff?”

“He said he wanted to read it.” The girl said as a matter of fact, then blinked at Xu Xiran, “Maybe he wants to learn from it?”

Xu Xiran frowned: “He asked you to give it to me?”

“Mn, he said that you’ll meet up with him later, so giving it to you was fine.”

“Oh, I see,” Xu Xiran nodded, and held back a slightly stiff smile at her, “Thank you.”

~

“What’s in here?”

After meeting Fang Mo, Xu Xiran asked while handing over the fruit candy USB flash drive.

“Good stuff,” Fang Mo put the USB flash drive into his pocket, “Do you want to see it?”

Xu Xiran remained silent.

For a boy and a girl to exchange such resources would normally seem like a very attractive and dreamy gesture. However, based on what he knew, it was very likely that the characters in the artwork contained in this USB flash drive was of the same gender. As a result, things suddenly became complex.

Why on earth was Fang Mo suddenly interested in these things?

When he made those suggestions yesterday, could he have been influenced?

Did this mean that he wasn’t just reading casually, but that he also wasn’t against intimate contact with the same sex?

At least… he didn’t feel disgusted when the target was himself, right?

Asking her to pass it through him, was there a subtle hint behind that?

“What are you doing?” Fang Mo glanced at him, then quickly looked away, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Are you that close with her already?” Xu Xiran asked.

“You mean Xia Diandian?” Fang Mo asked.

So her name was Xia Diandian. Xu Xiran finally remembered her. He nodded.

“Actually, it’s like this,” Fang Mo lowered his head, reached out, and touched his nose, looking a little nervous from embarrassment, “Me and her, we had a… a bit of a misunderstanding.”

“What do you mean?”

“She… anyway, she thinks that we are a couple now.” Fang Mo said in a low voice.

“Ah?” Xu Xiran’s eyes widened.

“Then she shared some manga with me,” Fang Mo said, “When I finished, I found them quite interesting, and then she shared some more with me.”

Xu Xiran couldn’t keep up with his train of thought, and was a half-beat behind, “She thought we were a couple?”

Fang Mo looked at him, and said slowly, word by word: “Mn. She thought you were my… boyfriend.”

After he said this, the air immediately fell into silence. No one said a word for a while.

Xu Xiran’s mind was in such disarray that he couldn’t clear his head, so he could only play the last sentence Fang Mo just said in a loop.

It seemed he should first ask Xia Diandian why this misunderstanding occurred, and then ask Fang Mo why he didn’t explain it to Xia Diandian.

But at this moment, Xu Xiran didn’t care much about the answers to those two questions.

“Did you zone out?” Fang Mo raised his hand and shook it in front of him.

Xu Xiran swallowed, shifted his gaze to Fang Mo’s coat pocket, and asked, “Do you really think this manga is interesting?”

“…It’s alright,” Fang Mo said, “It’s a good way to pass the time.”

Xu Xiran nodded blankly: “So that’s how it is.”

“Do you still remember what I said before, my favorite game character?” Fang Mo asked suddenly.

“I remember,” Xu Xiran nodded immediately, “Why?”

To this day, he was still very curious about what kind of character moved Fang Mo’s heart, but he was too embarrassed to say that out loud.

“It’s not a girl.”

Fang Mo said.

“Ah?” Xu Xiran couldn’t come to his senses, “What’s not a girl?”

After he asked, and before Fang Mo could answer, he immediately came back to his senses. The character he liked was not a girl.

“It’s a… male character,” Fang Mo said with difficulty, “So I was ashamed to tell you at first. I was afraid you’d think I’m weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Xu Xiran said immediately, “There’s nothing weird about that. Everyone has someone they worship, those…”

“It’s not the same,” Fang Mo interrupted, shaking his head, “I don’t worship him.”

“……”

“Is that weird now?” Fang Mo asked, “Would you think I’m not normal?”

Xu Xiran was silent for a moment, then shook his head: “Not at all.”

After he finished speaking, he was afraid that his attitude would appear perfunctory, so he racked his brain to explain.

“It’s just the difference between liking mainstream and niche works, so it has nothing to do with what’s normal or not. Everyone has their differences, so it’s not weird, not at all.”

Fang Mo smiled, “That makes sense.”

“That’s not all,” Xu Xiran also smiled, “There’s a girl in our club who also calls Xiaoyao her wife, but she actually has a boyfriend in real life. As long as something is not outrageous or violates the law, liking whatever you like is fine. It’s normal. Everyone has moments of being in a minority, and people who like game characters are already in the minority, right?”

“Then I’m in the minority of the minority,” said Fang Mo.

“That doesn’t mean you’re abnormal,” said Xu Xiran, “That just means you’re unique and different.”

Fang Mo lowered his head and kept smiling: “You’re amazing, I’m in awe.”

Xu Xiran shrugged his shoulders: “I’m just giving insight from the bottom of my heart.”

~

Afterward, they quietly walked to the dining hall, got their meals, and sat down face to face, Fang Mo suddenly brought up an old matter again.

“Did you end up reading that manga?”

“…I looked at it a bit.”

Fang Mo looked at him expectantly, and asked, “How do you feel?”

Very bad. The characters were not cute, and the plot development was weird. He couldn’t even read it if he pinched his nose. But Xu Xiran felt that he shouldn’t answer like that at the moment.

In a certain corner of his heart, ambiguous thoughts continued to quietly surge. After deliberating for a while, he said, “It’s… quite new to me.”

“I thought you would find it disgusting.” Fang Mo said.

Xu Xiran immediately shook his head: “No.”

Even if he did, he would not admit it. Regardless of whether what Fang Mo said today was a hint or not, he wanted to give positive feedback.

Fang Mo lowered his head and stuffed a small piece of chicken into his mouth: “Oh.”

“I really wouldn’t, not at all.” Xu Xiran emphasized again.

Fang Mo glanced at him quickly, took out the candy-shaped USB flash drive from his pocket, put it on the table, and pushed it a little forward with his fingers.

“Then, do you want to take a look?”

~

The content of the USB drive was quite rich. In addition to a large number of manga works, there were also several animes. There were two subfolders under the folder named【Anime】. One of them was called  【All Ages】, and the other was called【New Folder】

Fang Mo muttered in a low voice, “What’s in this?” and double-clicked on the latter. By chance, he and Xu Xiran both stared blankly at the preview pictures on the screen that were almost completely filled with skin tones.

After the air froze for a few seconds, Fang Mo hurriedly clicked back. But soon, he cleared his throat again, clicked on the folder again as if nothing had happened, and moved the mouse to the first video file.

“Wanna watch?” He asked Xu Xiran.

Xu Xiran didn’t know what to say and was so nervous that he felt he was dying.

Almost every boy has had the experience of gathering in a crowd in the dormitory to watch adult movies. It was not uncommon to switch from live-action to anime, as the nature of it wasn’t too different or strange. But he knew that that was different from the current situation.

Xu Xiran used what little reason he had left to seriously think about one thing.

What exactly was Fang Mo’s intention?

He wondered whether or not his crazy hints were stemming from feeling confident infor himself. If he bit the bullet and watched this anime with him, would he have the opportunity to fulfill his imagination from class today?

Seeing that he remained silent, Fang Mo made his own decision and double-clicked on the video file. The player immediately started, and soon, the picture filled the entire screen.

The two of them huddled in front of the fourteen-inch computer monitor, shoulder to shoulder, just like how they used to watch each anime episode together. But unlike in the past, this time Xu Xiran remained silent.

The first shot seemed very normal. On a quiet, deserted street under the sunset, combined with the quiet monologue of the protagonist, there was a strong literary and artistic atmosphere in both the imagery and the lines.

“It looks alright…” Xu Xiran abruptly stopped in the middle of his sentence.

Because by the second shot, what appeared immediately afterward was a picture completely full of skin color. In the shot, the two men were at it at high frequency, while the protagonist was still reciting a literary inner monologue in the background, which actually produced a subtle sense of harmony.

“Wow…” Fang Mo softly sighed.

Xu Xiran quietly turned his head away from the screen.

The literary monologue quickly faded out, while another voice gradually became louder. Xu Xiran then realized something very embarrassing. He had been addicted to anime for many years and had taught himself a good amount of Japanese listening comprehension. Even if he didn’t look at the screen, he was able to understand what the two of them were talking about other than the “mn, mn, ah, ah”.

What was this? Were all these works so keen on setting them as straight men? What the hell did these straight men do wrong?

Then he thought again, was there any need for him to have such a strong sense of resonance as the straight man?

“Hey, hey,” Fang Mo bumped him lightly with his elbow, “This is drawn so ridiculously, you can see that even his stomach is bulging. Wow, the shape of this outline is still moving! That’s impossible in real life, right? This is more expensive than boob jiggling, right? Yi, why aren’t you watching? Quick, take a look.”

Xu Xiran’s tremblingly shifted his gaze slowly toward the screen.

At this moment, the bedroom door behind him suddenly opened. Both of them were taken aback for a moment and turned their heads as a reflex.

Just as the protagonist in the film welcomed a moment of light and there was a continuous cry.

Immediately afterwards, there was a “kada” sound of the laptop being closed. Xu Xiran and Fang Mo’s hands overlapped and pressed on the lid of the laptop, and then retracted together as if they felt an electric shock.

“What were you watching?” Liu Xiaochang, who had just returned to the dormitory, looked in with curiosity. “Is it that exciting? Can I take a look?”

Xu Xiran and Fang Mo looked at each other and didn’t speak.

“Wait a minute, you guys…” Liu Xiaochang frowned as if he had realized something when he walked up to them, “I did think it was weird before. Fang Mo clearly told me that you two were particularly innocent in this aspect and that you never sleep outside the dorms. Be honest you two, have you been messing around while we’re not in the dorm?”

Xu Xiran finally opened his mouth: “W-w-w-w-what?!”

“Isn’t that a little too unethical? This is still a public area,” Liu Xiaochang said shamelessly, “Can’t you just get a room?”

“……”

“If you don’t know where, I can give you some recommendations. Let me think, the one east of campus is not good, it’s expensive and not clean, don’t go,” Liu Xiaochang enthusiastically introduced, “If you take a left at Xiaobeimen, that one’s good and the value is very high. You guys can go and experience it yourself. If you apply for a membership card, you can get point discounts and exchange for condoms.”

“No,” Fang Mo awkwardly raised his hand, trying to explain, “We’ve never done… that in the dorm before.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Liu Xiaochang was very disdainful, “Watching this kind of thing together, isn’t it just to get you in the mood to make things exciting later?”

“I… we…” Fang Mo got stuck.

“Don’t tell me that you guys didn’t watch this together because you wanted to have fun,” Liu Xiaochang said in a completely unrepentant tone, “Who would believe that?”

Xu Xiran glanced at Fang Mo and found that Fang Mo was also looking at him.

The two quickly turned their heads away again, each blushing, without saying a word.

Author’s note:

Liu Xiaochang: Let me tell you some plain truths.

Idiom which means he doesn’t know if he will have this chance again