I Treat You as a Brother

69 – Did He Just Kiss Me?

Translator: tamago

Editor: Yin

When someone you’ve secretly liked for a long time seems to like you back, what kind of experience is that like?

Fang Mo lay in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep at all.

He thought, maybe I’m thinking too much. Then he thought, I’m probably not thinking too much. The two thoughts mixed together in his mind, going around in circles. He pulled up his blanket to cover his head, then pulled it down to take a deep breath, and then his body continued to endlessly toss and turn.

All his hints were responded to, and all the feedback was better than expected. Xu Xiran seemed to have different expectations for their relationship.

Xu Xiran seems to like me.

Fang Mo pulled his blanket up again and covered his mouth so that he would not giggle out loud.

Everyone other than him had already fallen asleep in the dormitory, and except for his rustling noises, the surroundings were quiet.

He wanted to find someone to talk to, but he didn’t have a suitable partner. Zou Shun was unavailable; he was not at school today so he must be with He Chengyi, and it would be weird if he was free at this hour.

Fang Mo even wanted to get out of bed and drag out Liu Xiaochang who was diagonally across from him, and tell him that he was talking nonsense before and that he and Xu Xiran were not together, but that there was a good chance that they would be in the future!

He was full of excitement but had no one to share it with. It felt somewhat lonesome.

Since he couldn’t sleep, Fang Mo simply took out his phone. A certain precious app displayed that he had an unread message. He clicked on it and saw it was the purchasing agent he consulted a few days ago, telling him that his clothes were purchased and that he could pay the balance.

Fang Mo was overjoyed. That time when he accidentally tore one of Xu Xiran’s clothes, Fang Mo said he would buy a replacement for him. Xu Xiran had never mentioned it after that, and apparently had forgotten about it. But Fang Mo did not forget. The coat that Xu Xiran brought over later looked quite good on Xu Xiran himself, and the style of this brand also unexpectedly suited him well. Fang Mo fell in love with their new season and wanted to buy two, give one to Xu Xiran, and secretly wear the other one himself.

Fearing that Xu Xiran would think it was too expensive and would not accept it, he even thought of an excuse. He’ll just give it to him as a birthday present.

It was just that he didn’t expect that coat to be so popular that it was quite difficult to buy. Originally, Fang Mo was worried that he would not be able to get it due to time constraints, but now that he had asked a purchasing agent to send an urgent mail, he should be able to get it in time.

Fang Mo quickly paid the final payment, and then excitedly thought, when was a good time to ask him about dating? Xu Xiran’s birthday was on Christmas Eve. In recent years, young people have almost turned all these kinds of holidays into Valentine’s Day. If Xu Xiran agrees to spend that day with him, it may be a good opportunity for them to take the next step.

~

His fantasy was shattered at the speed of light.

“I can’t that day. My mom said a few days ago that she would come to see me, and I already promised her.” Xu Xiran said.

To say he wasn’t disappointed would be a lie. But Xu Xiran’s reason was too righteous, so Fang Mo had no choice but to force a smile: “Oh, I see.”

“She rarely has the chance to come, and she’s making a special trip to celebrate my birthday with me,” Xu Xiran added earnestly, “It’s not good if I refuse.”

Fang Mo nodded: “I understand!”

After he said this, the two looked at each other with nervous and uneasy expressions.

The atmosphere felt weird.

“Then… if I’m gone, who will you spend Christmas Eve with?” Xu Xiran asked again.

Fang Mo pursed his lips and thought for a while: “I’ll probably just not celebrate it then. I still have classes that afternoon, and it’s almost the end of the term. I haven’t finished all my homework yet, so I’ll have to hurry up.”

Xu Xiran nodded but said nothing.

“What time will you leave that day?” Fang Mo asked.

“Early in the morning,” Xu Xiran said, “I’ll need to pick up my mom at the airport first, accompany her to the hotel to get settled, and then go shopping around in the city.”

Fang Mo asked again, “What time will you be back?”

“I probably won’t come back,” Xu Xiran said, “My mom will be here for two days, so I’ll be accompanying her those two days and won’t be back.”

“Okay,” Fang Mo nodded, “Then come and find me before you go in the morning, I have something for you.”

Xu Xiran raised his eyebrows, as if he wanted to ask, but quickly held back. He nodded and smiled at Fang Mo: “Okay.”

His face was filled with joy and anticipation from the bottom of his heart.

Fang Mo, who was still somewhat feeling down, was immediately infected, and his mood also became lighter.

“Oh right, I’ve always wanted to ask,” he said, “Are your parents not in the country?”

“No, only my mom is abroad. My dad is in China, but he lives quite far from here.” Xu Xiran said.

Fang Mo asked tentatively, “Is it because of work?”

“Have I never mentioned it to you before?” Xu Xiran’s expression became a little embarrassed, “They’re not together anymore.”

“…Ah, I’m sorry.” Fang Mo was taken aback for a moment and quickly apologized.

“It’s okay, it’s been many years, and they’re all good now, and they have a good relationship with me,” Xu Xiran smiled at him again, “But since they all have new families, there are not as many opportunities for me to be together with them now.”

No wonder he also lived at school during breaks. Both his parents have formed new families. Even if they each have a deep relationship with him, it may still feel uncomfortable when getting along.

Fang Mo tried to visualize it for a moment, and his heart hurt for him.

“Right, I also have a younger brother and sister, and they’re both in elementary school, and they’re really cute.” Xu Xiran looked very happy, “I’ll show you photos next time.”

With this age difference, they were undoubtedly the children of his parents after they had rebuilt their families. Xu Xiran himself seemed to accept this well, but when Fang Mo heard this, it was hard for him to bear.

It would be impossible for Xu Xiran to not have any grievances in his heart. When he thought about it, Fang Mo wished that he could hug Xu Xiran and tell him, “It’s okay, you have me, and you are my one and only treasure in this world.”

Xu Xiran, who was looking at him, quickly showed surprise on his face: “What… what’s wrong?”

Fang Mo pursed his lips, shook his head, and did not speak. His heart was overflowing with maternal love, so he did not dare to say anything.

“I haven’t been mistreated,” Xu Xiran raised his hands dumbfoundedly, “Why are you crying? My parents are very good to me, really.”

His thumb gently wiped a tear on the mole at the corner of Fang Mo’s eye and moved away a small tear from the rim of his eye.

Then, for some reason, he quickly retracted his hand as if he had been scalded, and turned his head, with an unnatural color on his cheeks.

“…You are too sentimental,” he said softly, “When I said that you must like to cry, you just didn’t admit it back then.”

Fang Mo shook his head and wiped his face with his sleeve: “I don’t like to cry, this is different.”

“You’re probably blindly imagining things,” Xu Xiran said, “I have never felt wronged.”

“…Oh.” Fang Mo sniffed.

But what he thought in his heart was, but I feel like you have been wronged.

Xu Xiran didn’t have a complete family that only belonged to him, didn’t have family that only loved and cared for him, and didn’t have a real home to go back to during the holidays, so Fang Mo felt aggrieved.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Xu Xiran smiled helplessly, “That should be enough now. If you keep crying, I’ll really start to feel sorry for myself. You see, my mother even flew all the way back to celebrate my birthday with me, right?”

Having said that, Fang Mo no longer felt regretful that Xu Xiran couldn’t be with him that day. Xu Xiran was still deeply loved by his mother, which was very important.

He nodded earnestly, “Mn.”

“Fang Mo.” Xu Xiran suddenly called his name.

“Yes?”

Although his tears had stopped, his voice was still a little nasally.

“…It’s okay,” Xu Xiran shook his head again, “it’s nothing.”

Fang Mo immediately reached out his hand to tug at him: “No, tell me!”

Xu Xiran laughed and then sighed: “This is the first time I’ve seen someone cry because of this.”

“Ah?”

“When people hear about this, they usually just express that they’re sorry or try to comfort me…” Xu Xiran said, “How come you’re crying?”

Fang Mo’s face turned red: “I don’t know.”

Xu Xiran asked again: “Why are you crying?”

“…I got sand in my eyes.”

This was obviously nonsense that even the person who said it felt it was fake. But Xu Xiran did not raise any objections. He nodded and moved slightly closer.

“Then do you want me to help blow it away for you?” He asked.

Fang Mo panicked, and immediately turned his head: “It’s already gone.”

Only half a second later, he overturned what he had said.

“I think there’s a bit more.” He lowered his eyes and whispered.

Xu Xiran nodded, earnestly raised his hand, carefully supported Fang Mo’s cheek, leaned his head up, and carefully blew into his eyes.

This was the wrong move, as the sand in the eyes could not be blown away, and it only made Fang Mo subconsciously want to close his eyes.

When he really closed his eyelids, a strange warm touch suddenly came from the corner of his eye.

The sensation was fleeting.

He hurriedly opened his eyes, and Xu Xiran’s cheeks were red in front of him.

“I forgot to ask, which eye was it?” he said.

Fang Mo shook his head blankly. He thought, did this person just kiss him?

Xu Xiran let go of his hand, lowered his head, and touched his nose as if to hide: “It seems like it’s no longer needed, right?”

Fang Mo was still thinking about whether or not Xu Xiran had just kissed him.

~

Xu Xiran’s life was indeed not bad, and even compared to his ordinary peers, he still lived a comfortable life.

He told Fang Mo a lot more afterward.

His parents had separated when he was in elementary school, and he has been living with his father ever since then. A few years later, his father had remarried to a gentle woman who was very kind to him and always courteous. Even after giving him a younger sister, she didn’t treat one more favorably than another, and on the contrary, she would deliberately favor him more. When he was in high school, he began to live on campus, and whenever he came home on weekends, the table would always be full of his favorite dishes.

Nothing about this was bad. But looking at the happy and harmonious appearance of their family of three, he didn’t know why he didn’t like going back anymore. Thinking about it more, it may be because a sense of belonging was missing.

His stepmother was afraid that he would have a grudge, so she specifically discussed with his father that they would buy him a house, with the property under his name.

Xu Xiran thought it was unnecessary at first, but later thought it was a good idea. He didn’t live in it, but he could finally buy things recklessly without worrying about having no place to put them.

His mother went abroad after leaving his father, and soon had a new family of her own. But she had never lessened her concern for him over the years, always asking about his health, sending gifts from time to time, coming back to see him every year, and giving him a lot of pocket money.

There were no faults to pick out from any of this.

All of his relatives would say that although his parents were divorced, he was still very happy. Ever since he was young, his friends around him would always envy him for being able to get two allowances. If anyone really asked him if he had anything to be dissatisfied about, he wouldn’t be able to say it. Everything was good, and even his two half-siblings liked him very much.

There shouldn’t be anything to be sad about.

But there happened to be a little fool who, while listening halfway, couldn’t stop crying.

Xu Xiran couldn’t help but wonder if this little fool also secretly liked him.

~

In the following week, Xu Xiran’s class team got lucky and was drawn to advance directly to the next round. But for Fang Mo, this was really not good news. This meant that he could no longer find an excuse to mess with Xu Xiran.

However, the lack of opportunities for intimacy did not prevent them from sticking together every day like conjoined twins. Occasionally, Fang Mo would feel that despite not having the expected physical contact, the two of them seemed to be no different from a real couple.

~

As Christmas Eve approached, Fang Mo’s originally good mood gradually turned into restlessness.

There was something wrong with his package and it got stuck in customs for an unusually long time. By the time it finally got out of the customs and set foot on its journey again, it was too late.

On the night of the 23rd, the official website showed that the package had arrived in this city, and he received an obviously excited message from Xu Xiran.

[“Is it too early for me to come to you at 7?”]

At this time, even if the package was delivered tomorrow, it would definitely not be able to get here in time. Fang Mo was miserable and regrettably typed a reply.

[“You don’t need to come, I don’t have anything for you.”]

Xu Xiran quickly answered him with a question mark.

Fang Mo sighed.

[“It hasn’t arrived yet, let’s wait until you get back to school.”]

It took Xu Xiran a while to reply.

[“Then will you be awake at 7?”]

This question sounded weird. Fang Mo had no class tomorrow morning, so if it wasn’t for Xu Xiran, he would naturally want to sleep in.

[“What’s the matter?”]

He asked.

[“If you’re awake then I’ll still come by.”]

Xu Xiran said.

~

Fang Mo got up early in the morning. Xu Xiran showed up before seven and knocked on the door, waking up everyone in the dormitory except for Fang Mo.

Complaints rose all around the dormitory, and Fang Mo hurried out, and then carefully closed the door behind him.

They both stood in the hallway. Fang Mo was still sleepy, while Xu Xiran was already dressed up neatly, looking energetic.

“Quick, I’m in a hurry.” He looked at Fang Mo with a smile on his face and his eyes bright, “I came here specifically to hear you say something to me.”

Fang Mo looked at him not knowing whether to laugh or cry: “Happy birthday.”

Xu Xiran smiled even more, and nodded: “Okay, I’m leaving now!”

After he said this, he waved at Fang Mo and ran towards the corridor. When he reached the end of the corridor, he turned around and looked over from a distance. Fang Mo was still standing at the door.

He waved at Fang Mo, and Fang Mo waved back at him.

After his figure completely disappeared, Fang Mo returned to the dormitory and burrowed back into bed again to get the rest of his sleep.

“What were you doing so early in the morning?” one of his roommates complained wearily.

“Ai,” another sighed, “that’s how people are in their honeymoon phase, they’ll die if they don’t see each other for half a day.”

Fang Mo apologized to them and then found that he couldn’t sleep anymore.

As soon as he closed his eyes, his mind was filled with the image of Xu Xiran smiling at him with his eyes from just then.

Author’s note:

There’s a little more plot…

PS, For those who are fans of Meng1 1 and his xuedi, there’s no need to rush to the extra chapters. They still have more scenes coming up!

Cute/adorable but referring to Liu Xiaochang