Mayo Chiki!

Chapter 1 - Elopement Trip

“…Eh? You’re actually not into guys?”

On the 13th of August, when these words were directed at me, I spit out the barley tea in my mouth at full speed.

“H-Hey! What are you doing!?” A sharp voice reached me from the kitchen.

The owner of this voice had her wavy hair in two beautiful twintails, possessing a slender figure. She wore a yellow apron above her summer-esque clothes. She’s a fellow second-year at Rouran Academy, with the name Usami Masamune. And right now, she threw a dust cloth at me.

“Hurry and clean it up, it’ll leave stains.”

“…Yeah yeah.” I said while catching the dust cloth, and wiped the floor clean.

Can’t dirty other people’s homes after all. And yes, I was currently visiting Usami Masamune’s private residence. She was renting a small room in a flat located inside the city I was living in. If one wondered why I was here on a visit, then let me tell you. I’m here to fulfill the promise we made on the day of the culture festival. Namely, that I would get to eat her homemade food.

“You stupid chicken, I went as far as to make you something cold for this heat, so why’d you waste it like that?” Masamune complained as she stirred up the vegetables in the hot pot.

No matter how I think about it, that’s all your fault for suddenly blurting out something weird like that. How could I keep my mouth shut, you know.

Today is the 13th of August, and we find ourselves in the middle of the currently ongoing summer break. The early summer period had long passed by, and was in its last stage before it would leave us until next year. Instead, the days were full with agonizing temperatures and unbearably hot days that could make the asphalt melt—Mid-summer has come upon us.

Not to mention that it apparently was much hotter compared to last year, the asphalt heating up and creating hot air down on the ground, treating us humans like we were raw BBQ meat. Even just walking all the way over here took all of my mentals strength.

“Also, why today of all days?”

Calling me over on a hot summer day, not to mention during the hottest time of the day, at noon…Not to mention that promise has happened almost a month ago. Well, at least I can sit here in a cool room thanks to that A/C.

“I-I can’t help it, can I. I had to prepare a lot of stuff. And, I didn’t know what to make…” Masamune averted her gaze from me, and faced the pot again.

You say preparations, but…an entire month?

“Not to mention that you had me wait in front of the room for an entire hour, letting me boil outside.”

“Urk…Shut up, stupid chicken! I had to prepare, so I had to prepare!”

“Again with that…”

Then, what? You told me to not be late when you send me the place and time, and yet this is what I get? I seriously doubt I’m wrong, but…were you trying on clothes until the bare limit? I mean, I can literally see how much attention she put into her appearance. I’m wearing a bland t-shirt and jeans, whereas she’s wearing a cute pink camisole with a white miniskirt. Adding to that her tight knee-socks that were glued to her slender and healthy legs…I seriously didn’t know where to look. She feels different from how she always does at school, and…it’s not half bad. More than that though…

“Say, can I ask one thing?”

“What? Got even more complaints?”

“No. I was just wondering, didn’t you say that you were living a fairly poor lifestyle?”

When we went on that date during the school festival, she said that bread with mayonnaise was delicious and whatnot…

“That’s right. It’s not something I enjoy talking about, but I’m poor. I’ll have you pay for all the ingredients I bought today.”

“I don’t mind, but…what about the rest then?”

“…What do you mean?”

“I mean, look at your place. This is bound to be an expensive room, right.” I said, and looked around me.

It was an awfully large room, big enough to hold a small party, together with an expensive ceiling, expensive furniture, and a modern kitchen. Not to mention that I couldn’t see a bed anywhere, which meant that she had a separate bedroom. Add to that the monitor and automatic lock at the entrance of the flat, and the fact that this room was located on the 11th floor, namely the highest, right in the corner.

Honestly, this feels like I wandered into the land of the bourgeoisie. If you call this poor, then Yamanue no Okura, the famous poet about poverty, will come for your head with a time machine.

“I can’t help it. This was the best property.”

“The best? I mean, the convenience of location here is superb, but still.”

I finished wiping the floor, and continued the conversation as I sipped on more tea. This is a great location, indeed. It’s close to the train station, and not too far from the school.

“Not quite. Although you’re right, this location is pretty great.” Masamune explained with a somewhat bragging tone.

It’s not that? A question mark popped up above my head as I tilted my head, when Masamune explained with a happy grin.

“Fufu, can’t help it then, I’ll explain it to you, stupid chicken. Right here is a wonderful location. The conditions are great, the room is beautiful, and the furniture is clean and proper. However, that’s not the most charming point about this. The greatest driving force for picking this place—was the rent.”

“…Rent?”

“Yup. The rent here is super cheap. Without the security deposit, it’s 4.000 yen a month.”

Hearing those words, I once again lost my calm. This time however, the tea didn’t come spurting out of my mouth, but rather my nose. I might just join a circus in the future.

“Wah, what are you doing? Do you have some barley tea allergy?”

“Shut up! This isn’t some reaction towards the tea!”

What kind of odd disposition would that be? Even someone who has gynophobia like me is shocked to hear that. No, that’s not important right now, alright.

“…Masamune-san, isn’t 4.000 yen a month a bit unrealistic?”

Not to mention with no security deposit…in such a high-class flat. What kind of deflation is going on?

“I mean, I was shocked at first myself, but…hearing out the reason, it made sense.”

“Reason?”

“Yup. No matter who moved into this place, they would move out in a month.”

“………”

Even though it was already August, I felt an incredible chill on my skin. I want to believe that this is the A/C working a bit too well, but that sadly wasn’t the case.

“The real estate agent told me that, around two years ago, the woman who lived here was…you know.”

“I don’t know!?”

“Eh? Stupid chicken, you’re curious?”

“No, I’m fine! I’ll take back what I said!”

“2am at night…cheating boyfriend…growing frustration…knife…hanging by the neck…”

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!?”

“Wah, you don’t need to scream like that. I was joking. I don’t know the circumstances, but it’s a fact that she did that.”

“……”

“Anyway, that’s what it is. All of the people who lived here before moved soon after.”

“They all moved…”

So this is like… a possessed property?

“I heard stories like ‘She’ll crawl up to your pillow at 3am’ or ‘Even though I was living on my own, there would be a cup on the desk when I came home’ or ‘I could never take any pictures in this room for some reason’ and so on.”

“…H-Huh.”

“Well, they said that such supernatural things happened. Some people even ran away during the night. Eventually, the rent reached a low price like that.”

“A-Are you okay with living in such a room?”

“Totally. I don’t believe in that sort of stuff.”

“That’s the problem!?”

“They’re just exaggerating anyway. I found some weird papers hung up inside the closet of my bedroom.”

“Papers?”

“They had ‘Evil spirit, be exorcised!’ written on them.”

“Pretty easy to understand if you ask me!”

Also, do these things even help!? Well, if they did, then the previous inhabitants probably wouldn’t have left.

“I took them off since they were in the way though.”

“You took them off!?”

“They’re not cute at all, so I took them out with the burnable trash.”

“Get them back right now!”

“Too late, I did that a year ago. Also, nothing really happened even after I took them off.”

“Nothing really happened…”

“Once night came around, it just showed some weird ‘Tonight it’s you’ on the TV screen, that’s about it.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

That’s pretty big if you ask me! Makes sense why I was feeling nervous the second I walked inside of here. I thought it was because I entered the room of a girl, but it was because of this eerie atmosphere.

“What, are you scared?”

“A-A bit, I guess? Our family isn’t doing too great with all this occult stuff.”

Our family’s education system might be like ‘Children of the wind’ or ‘Terminator!’, but against things physical violence doesn’t work, we’re terrified. I’m already having trouble with it, but if Kureha catches wind of any stories like that, she won’t be able to sleep all night, and snuggled into my bed while hugging her pillow and crying. She sure can be delicate at the weirdest times.

“I’m a bit scared of course, but I think I’ll be able to take this a bit longer.”

“You’re pretty admirable, you know that.”

“Hmpf, I don’t want to hear that from the guy who’s being used as his little sister’s punching bag every morning.”

Well, she’s not wrong. There’s a ghost haunting this place, and a little sister hunting me every morning. It’s hard choosing which is worse. Maybe my little sister is being possessed already? Satan, that you?

“Wait a second, didn’t you say that you’re getting the bare minimum of living expenses from your parents?”

Masamune mentioned that she was living alone because of her family’s circumstances, but she should at least get money for living expenses and rent.

“You’re right, but…I don’t want to use that.”

“You don’t want to use that?”

“I need to earn my own money. Since I found a new part-time job, I should be fine. I did already use some, but once I’ll find a proper job in the future, I’ll pay it all back.” Masamune said with a determined tone.

……Damn, how can she be so cool? Her thought process is so stoic, so gung-ho, it makes me want to respect her despite us being the same age. Since I’ve only seen people like Suzutsuki and Konoe, blessed by their surroundings, it’s a refreshing sight to see someone actually try this hard. It makes me want to support her. I guess I need to learn from her.

“Here, it’s done.” Masamune brought me a plate with the food on it, as well as a small rice bowl.

…Hm? This menu…

“…Hurry up and eat. You told me to treat you, right?”

“Well, yeah…But, why this?”

The food steaming on the plate in front of me…was meat and potato stew.

“I read in a book that all boys like meat and potato stew.”

“What kind of book was that? That’s so old-fashioned.”

“Urk…It said so, okay…Or, do you just not want to eat the food I made?”

“Come on…”

Don’t look at me like you’re about to cry. That makes it seem like I’m bullying you.

“…I get it already.”

It seemed like she might actually break out in tears if I said I wouldn’t eat it, which is why I picked up some of the meat, and carried it to my mouth. Thanks for the food.

“…Hm?”

Oh, this is surprisingly…No, pretty delicious. The seasoning isn’t too strong, and the meat is comfortably soft, and so are the onions. Not to mention that the shirataki noodles are adding a delicious taste to it.

“…How is it?” Compared to Masasmune’s usual confident tone, she sounded quite worried this time.

Looking over, she practically stared at me in wait.

“It’s pretty delicious. This is even good enough that you could cook for a restaurant.” I said, and grabbed some rice next.

It was perfectly boiled, making it not too soft but also not too hard. Man, she might actually be good at cooking…

“R-Really. Then, praise me more!” Masamune let out a sigh, and reached for some stew herself.

Ain’t she honest now. She probably was equally happy as she was embarrassed to have her cooking praised. I can see her blushing. Still, ‘praise me more’, huh. Should I be screaming something like ‘It’s a revolution of taste!’ to fully satisfy her? I might just get kicked instead. Well, anything is better than nothing.

“Hey, Usamin.”

“What, stupid chicken.”

“Don’t be so cold. This meat and potato stew is pretty great. I’d love to make you my wife.”

Right after hearing my words, Masamune’s face turned beet red. More accurately, she spit out the rice she had in her mouth, and threw a coughing fit as she gasped for air.

“…Y-You say some weird things, huh!”

“Weird things? For example?”

“T-The part of you wanting to make me your wife!”

“? What’s so weird about that?”

I mean, it’s not like I have any excellent cook making food for me at home. If she was cooking for me, then…Hm? Wait, she feels more like a housekeeper than a wife now. But, she’d probably step on me if I said that.

“Sorry, I chose the wrong words.”

“Right! That’s just taking it too far!”

“Yeah. A wife is too much. Rather than that…Yeah, I’d love to have you as a maid.”

Right as I finished my words, a table-wiping cloth slapped me in the face—Gaaah, what is this woman doing! I even tried to fix myself!

“Idiot! Stupid chicken! Why are you saying all these lewd things now!”

“Lewd things?”

“It’s a maid, you know!? Wearing nothing but an apron, saying ‘Please forgive me, Master!’, right!?”

“What kind of fantasies are you having!?”

“Eh? Wait…you want me to say ‘Welcome home, Master’ as well?”

“No!”

“Jeez, telling me to say ‘Would you like a bath? Dinner? Or rather…me?’ is taking it too far…”

“It really surprises me just how rotten your thoughts can get!”

I totally forgot. This is Usami Masamune we’re talking about. All her thoughts and ideas are just cursed.

“Sorry, I was wrong, so please let’s just switch the topic.”

This is a shared living district. The walls are probably not that thin, but if someone happened to overhear this conversation, they would surely get the wrong idea.

“Y-Yeah. Right, then…” Masamune thought about something. “You are into guys, right?”

“……”

…Oh right. So we’re going back to that, huh. That rumour is still going around even now—namely that Sakamachi Kinjirou is into guys.

“Listen, I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but I’m not into guys, I don’t enjoy BL.”

“But…aren’t you going out with Subaru-sama…”

“No, that’s not…”

Oh yeah, I did say that before, although it was all to protect Konoe’s secret. Konoe Subaru is the crossdressing butler of the only daughter of the academy’s board chairman, Suzutsuki Kanade. Since she has some annoying circumstances that would make it troublesome if someone found out about her being a girl, I lied and said that we were two guys dating.

Hmm…this is pretty complicated. If I wanted to clear up that misunderstanding, I would have to reveal the fact that Konoe is a girl…As I was thinking on how to solve this situation, Masamune suddenly muttered a faint ‘…Yeah’.

“I get it. I don’t want to be too meddlesome. Everybody has one or two secrets they can’t tell other people.”

“………”

It seems like I somehow convinced her without even saying anything. That probably caused another unwelcome misunderstanding, but whatever. As long as Konoe’s secret is safe, the results don’t matter.

“Ah, there’s one more thing I want to ask…Can I?” She spoke up with a somewhat anxious tone.

“Sure. As long as it’s not related to me being gay.”

“…T-Then, I’ll ask.” She took a faint breath. “Is it true that you confessed to Suzutsuki Kanade during the school festival?”

“……”

That damn nasty rabbit. Why is she trying to dig up trauma after trauma.

“…Masamune. This is just a story between us, but that confession was nothing but lies. It was the only possible choice I had if I wanted to survive that situation.”

I was about to be attacked by more than a hundred Subaru-sama fanclub members. I didn’t want to confess like that either, but it’s better than dying. Though I didn’t expect to get rejected that harshly, alright.

“R-Really!? …Ahh, thank god.”

“? Why do you sound so glad?”

“! N-No reason! Don’t mind me!” Masamune said, as she gulped up her tea in one go.

I wonder, did they ever personally meet? Suzutsuki is the leader and founder of the Subaru-sama Fanclub [S4] at Rouran, and Masamune was a member of that. If so, then it wouldn’t be weird for them to have met…Then again, I doubt they could get along.

“Anyway, we finished eating, so let’s start.”

Right as I was thinking that, Masamune swiftly stood up.

“Hm? Are we going to exorcise that spirit or something?”

We should at least bring a priest from the nearby shrine with us. Then again, I don’t have much faith in that shrine, I never get a good fortune slip after all. By the way, this year I got an ill fortune concerning women. Said something like ‘You should not get involved with women this year’ or the likes. Seriously? You tell me that now? I’ve always had bad luck with women, thanks to my family. I bet it must have been the same even in my previous life.

“What are you talking about, stupid chicken. I’m talking about your treatment.”

“Treatment?”

“Treatment to fix your gynophobia of course. Just leave it to me. I came up with the perfect program.” Masamune puffed out her chest as she explained.

Ahhh, she did say something like that before. Though she never brought it up after the school festival incident, so I completely forgot.

“Before we start your treatment, there’s one thing I want to confirm. Whenever you touch a girl, your body reflexively generates a nosebleed, and at the worst times, you lose consciousness, right?”

“Yeah, although it pains me to admit it. Also, when it’s direct skin contact, the symptoms activate much faster and easier.”

Of course, the time it takes for me to get an actual nosebleed and faint depends on my own physical and mental condition, so it really is more case by case.

“Hmm, I see. Then, my treatment program should work just fine.

“You sure about that? I don’t want you shocking me everytime my symptoms activate.”

“No problem. I won’t do something dangerous like that.”

Right after, a shock ran through my body nonetheless. Shockingly enough—Masamune suddenly put her hand on the zipper of her miniskirt.

“Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“Eh? I’m taking it off, can’t you see? Kya, don’t stare at me like that~”

“Shut up, you stupid rabbit!”

When a girl my age suddenly starts stripping, there’s no way I can look away…Wait, that’s not it! Calm down, calm down. This ain’t the time to act like some adolescent horny teenager. However, the skirt already dropped to the ground, revealing Masamune’s slender legs, and her thick thighs. Of course, not to forget her faintly purple underwear. Her entire body was…

“…Wait a second?”

I feel like this looks more like a swimsuit rather than underwear…

“Got you good, huh? Sorry to say this, but this is a swimsuit. Our club is going to the sea for a training camp, so I bought a new swimsuit with the money I earned from my part-time job. How does it look? Shocked, hm?” Masamune laughed like a child that just succeeded with a prank.

This nasty rabbit, I swear. Please, someone use the A/C to cool down this room some more. Global warming? Don’t care. I need to cool down my head first and foremost.

“Here we go.”

With these words, Masamune put her hands on her upper clothing, and pulled that off in one smooth motion. She took off her kneesocks as well and finished changing completely. What appeared was a faint purple wire bikini. The color looked great on her. The pearls on the tip of the string were cute, and with Masamune’s overall slender body, it emphasized her chest…Oh man.

“And? Does it look good on me?”

Masamune seemed to be embarrassed herself, as her cheeks were colored in a faint red, and she started fidgeting. Oh crap, I might actually be the one in danger right now.

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“Y-Yeah, it really fits you.”

For now, I decided to go with an honest compliment. Can’t go ‘It’s a revolution of taste!’ out of context.

“R-Really? Thanks. I wanted to get another person’s opinion before going on the training camp.”

“Training camp…with the handicrafts club?”

Kureha started preparing her stuff yesterday after all. Apparently they’ll be gone on an uninhabited island for a week, holding a survival training camp. Can’t shock me with that anymore, I heard enough about your handicrafts club during Golden Week. They’ll probably go hunting sharks during that week.

“Also, why are you leaving tonight? Wouldn’t early in the morning be better?”

According to Kureha, their departure would be at midnight. She said something like ‘We’re leaving as we’re shrouded in darkness! So exciting!’ or whatever, but I still think it’s hella weird.

“Apparently the school wouldn’t give permission, so we’re doing it in the shadows.”

“So what about the budget and transportation?”

“That’s why we’re doing it late at night. Um…according to the ‘Funnsies Summer Training Camp Guidebook’, we’ll be sneaking into a transport truck at 1am, and moving with that. At 2am, the truck will deliver its goods to a carriage ship, so we’ll be switching to that. Once we get close to the island, we’ll steal one of the lifeboats…”

“Enough, Masamune. The more I hear, the more nervous I get.”

What a terrifying handicrafts club, really. What they’re doing is getting close to human trafficking. Not even some secret agents go through the lengths they do. As an older brother, I shall pray for the safe return of my little sister.

“Oh yeah, why did you buy a new swimsuit? Didn’t you literally buy a new one like two months ago?”

“Ahh, that competitive swimsuit? That would have been fine, but I figured that wouldn’t be usable for your treatment.”

“……”

That moment, a fierce storm filled my heart, like I stood in the middle of a guerilla warfare battlefield. I got a horrible premonition. This treatment program she’s thinking of, she’s not…

“Now, let’s get this started, stupid chicken. Do your best—and bear with it.”

I tried to escape, but I was too late. Like a rabbit jumping into the air, the girl clung to me as her twintails shook left and right.

“…!? You wench!”

“Fufu, how is this? This will surely fix your gynophobia, right?” While grinning from ear to ear, Masamune tightly wrapped her arms around my back.

I felt something with the consistency of two marshmallows being pressed onto my chest, sending shivers down my spine. She’s not wrong…! If she keeps doing this, I’ll be literally forced to get used to a girl’s body…!

“You damn rabbit! This is more like shock treatment than anything!”

“Wha…what are you talking about! I’m ignoring my own embarrassment to help you! Can’t you see how serious I am!?”

“What do you mean serious!? This training is harsher than anything the old man from ‘Star of the G*ants1’ used!”

“I can’t pull back now! See, I bought a swimsuit that had a lot of open skin so you could directly feel me!”

“That’s why!?”

“I’m super embarrassed, you know? It took me an entire month to muster up the courage to actually do such a thing.”

“So that’s why it took so long!?”

It was all just to gain herself more time!? Damn it, I didn’t think she’d actually prepare a swimsuit like this…!

“…Hm?”

Wait a second. She talks about direct touch of skin, but…

“Hey, Masamune. Even if you wear revealing clothes so that we get as much skin contact as possible…doesn’t that lose all meaning since I’m still wearing my clothes?”

Right now, I’m still wearing my t-shirt, being clung to by Masamune in her bikini style. Strictly speaking, we’re not touching skin on skin here…

“…Ah.”

Because of my words, Masamune’s mouth opened in shock, like she just reached a revelation. Following that, her eyes started to grow teary, with her body quivering, as she tightly closed her lips.

“Y-You were aiming for this, right!?”

“No no no no! You’re just an idiot!”

“Shut up, stupid chicken! This just means I was stripping my clothes off for nothing!”

“Even if you get angry at me for that, it’s not my fault!”

“Ah, right. As long as I just forcefully strip you…”

“Don’t you daaaare!”

While she still clung to me, we dashed along the floor. Even if this is summer-themed, I don’t want to pull off some festival dance with her. I would have preferred some of those Hawaiian fire dances.

“Gueh!?”

Around the area of my nose, I felt something warm. At the same time, I got goosebumps all over my body. Undoubtedly, these were the symptoms of my gynophobia. Even if my t-shirt is blocking off a lot, if she desperately clings to me like that, it’s only a matter of time until I break down.

“Y-You! Let go already!”

“W-Why! Are you saying that my treatment isn’t worth anything!?”

“I never said that, did I!”

“So what’s the problem…Ah, my breasts!? Are my breasts not good enough for you!?”

“Where did that even come from!?”

“How cruel…You don’t know how bothered I am by it…I’m drinking milk every day, you know.”

“What am I supposed to do with that information!?”

Also, I think your size is big enough that you don’t need to worry about…Wait, this isn’t the time for that! My consciousness is starting to fade. At this rate, I’ll get a nosebleed, and pass out—

“………Okay, that should do it.”

Masamune seemed to have seen how my HP was chipping away, and moved her body away from me…Too friggin close. A bit more, and I would have greeted my old man up in heaven. Not funny in this current season either. I might have ended up in a grave, with Masasmune visiting me. Luckily, it seems like I can make it to the graveyard alive this year.

Well, as long as I’m alive, everything’s well. As this death flag was vanishing from above my head, I let out a relieved sigh.

“Stupid chicken, how long are you going to lie on the ground like that?” A sharp voice came raining down on me.

When I raised my head, standing there was Usami Masamune. Because of our previous exchange, she was gasping for air, as she glared down at me with a somewhat sadistic expression.

“…10 sets.”

“…Huh?”

“Like I said, we’ll do this 10 more times. If this didn’t fix it, then we can just keep doing it over and over, endlessly.”

“E-Endlessly…”

“Ah, no doing lewd things, okay. If you try anything like that, I’ll do something even more amazing and make you lose consciousness in an instant.”

“……”

“Don’t worry, I’m embarrassed myself, but this is to fix your gynophobia, so I’ll put up with it. We’re…friends after all.” Masamune nodded to herself, as if she wanted to convince herself.

Limbo—For some reason, this odd and old-fashioned word popped up in my head. In front of me was Masamune, already in a diving hug towards me. I remember…Today is the 13th of August—Friday. I should have realized when I left my home…that today of all days is Friday the 13th.

×

This might be sudden, but the fact that cicadas only fly during the 7th day seems to be a superstition. In reality, it’s hard to witness grown cicadas in breeding, but there seem to be those who fly even every month. Well, even if they were to only fly on the 7th day, I bet they would enjoy their lives much more than I am right now.

“…Hot.”

These words escaped my lips when I was hit by a heat wave the second I stepped out of the mansion. Although my feet definitely landed on the scorching hot asphalt, I couldn’t help but staggering. Must be anemia. After my hellish treatment by Doctor Masamune ended, I judged that in my current state, it would be best to head home directly.

Not even a batter who made it to the Japanese baseball national series would have tagged along until the end there. Not to mention that every time she clung to be, I got a nosebleed. At the very end, Masamune acted all satisfied, saying ‘…Alright, this should have helped a lot with your chicken disposition’, but it’s honestly terrifying how everything she did had the opposite effect. Even going along with a certain bratty shogun’s morning training isn’t as exhausting as this.

The time was currently 3pm in the afternoon. The heat outside was at its highest today. Walking outside right now is pretty much getting close to torture, but I just had to ecape from this hellish mansion as quickly as possible.

“Urk…”

Unable to bear with the brightly shining sun, I narrowed my eyes as I walked along. At this rate, I might just collapse from the anemia and a heat stroke, also known as the worst possible combination. It feels like all the blood I have left in me is vaporizing. I wanted to refill some of my lack of water, so I headed to a vending machine at a street corner. To me, it looked like an oasis in the middle of the Sahara.

Now then, what should I get…I took out my wallet to check how much money I had on me, but shockingly enough, I only had 20 yen with me. Shit, I thought I could treat myself to something great, but I didn’t even have enough money on me. That meat and potato stew just cost me too much.

“…Damn it.”

Guess I have to put up with it until I get back. With this determination in mind, I once again set foot onto the burning asphalt. Luckily, if I walk a bit more, I’ll be in my neighbourhood again, so there’s hope. Once I get back, everything will be okay. After all, Kureha will be gone for her training camp starting today. Not to mention the entire week. That means that the paradise I had lost during Golden Week will befall on me once again, only even better.

And, this year’s summer break is special for me as well. After all, Mom won’t be home either. My dear main provider made every single summer break of my life a different type of hell. It would be training from morning to evening. Last year, I complained ‘It’s already this hot, just let me go!’ with tears in my eyes, she then took me to her summering residence Sakhalin2 for a training camp, which is located to the north of Hokkaido. When she told me ‘Go snatch some of the Russian army’s food supplies!’, I genuinely thought my blood was going to freeze.

That’s why I’ll definitely use this summer break for my own freedom, and enjoy myself thoroughly. It’ll probably be over soon enough just by relaxing at home or having fun with Kurose and classmates, but it’s better than anything I ever experienced, so I won’t let anybody take this from me…!

These thoughts filled my head, so I put up with my dry throat aching, and walked my way beneath the burning sun, when—

“…Jirou, want a sip?” Suddenly, an alto voice spoke up next to me.

I turned towards the voice in shock, only to find a classmate looking at me with a refreshed expression despite this heat. Her translucent eyes shone brightly, as her orange hair glittered being shone on by the sun. To counter the heat, she wore a half-sleeved shirt with a necktie, together with boyish half-pants below that, just emphasizing her slender stature—Konoe Subaru.

She is the number one prince at our school, as well as a butler, and now offers me a sports drink.

“…Thanks.” I said, and accepted the sports drink, gushing it down my throat without any hesitation.

Mm, perfect. It had a bit of a weird taste, but maybe it’s some new product?

“Thanks a bunch. But, why are you here?”

Looking around, I couldn’t find her master Suzutsuki around. Normally those two always move together, but maybe they have different business.

“I had some business at your place, Jirou.”

“My place? Why?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, but…” For some reason, Konoe awkwardly averted her gaze.

It’s not about the summer homework, is it? Sadly, I won’t be bothered with that for a while, I want to enjoy my peaceful days. Don’t remind me, please.

“Leaving that aside…” There, Konoe suddenly gave me a serious gaze. “What about you, Jirou…what were you doing around here?”

“…Eh?” Subconsciously, I was now the one to look away.

Standing in front of me was Subaru-sama, staring directly into my soul, freezing every part of my body.

“Not to mention that you smell of stew.”

“!”

“And, I get the stench of another girl from you.”

“Seriously!?”

“…Jirou, were you meeting with someone behind my back?” Butler-kun would not dare take her eyes away from me.

I could feel sweat running down my cheeks, but I doubt this was because of the summer heat…What should I do, I feel like it would be better to not tell Konoe about what I just experienced. What would happen if I carelessly said ‘A girl wearing a swimsuit was clinging to me in a secluded room until my nose started bleeding’, huh? She’d think I had gotten crazy from the heat.

Not to mention that Konoe doesn’t exactly think positively of Masamune. First it was simply because she was the reason for my fight with Konoe during the school festival, but I feel like there’s a different reason for Konoe’s recent hostility. For example, I sometimes would eat lunch with Masamune, but that would leave Konoe in a seriously bad mood. Well, she might dislike the idea of having her friend taken away by someone else, I guess. Either way, I need to keep what happened today a secret…

“…Well, whatever.”

“Eh?”

To my surprise, Konoe stopped her attack.

“You have your own private life after all. I don’t want to dig into other people’s secrets, as that is what it means to be a polite butler.” Konoe showed a confident grin, as she puffed out her chest.

…I’m saved. With a relieved sigh, I wiped away the cold sweat on my body. I can’t lose any more liquid or I will die of dehydration.

“Oh yeah, what business were you talking about?”

I mean, she came over personally, and didn’t just call me, so I figured it must have been something important…

“Yeah. The thing is, there is something I need to tell you…” There, Konoe took a deep breath. “—Let’s run away together.”

“……Huh?”

Hearing these words was too big of a shock for me, I was at a loss. Run away? Is this what I think it is? The type of elopement a man and woman do when their marriage isn’t being accepted? But, why Konoe and me? We’re not even dating.

“I know that what I’m saying comes out of the blue, but I need you, Jirou.” Konoe approached me with an upwards gaze.

It might just be my imagination, but her eyes looked oddly dampened…Hey hey hey, what kind of situation is this? Konoe would always have a dignified expression, so seeing her this flustered is just more nerve-wracking. And the sizzling heat around me didn’t help much with not making me dizzy.

“…Huh?”

There, I lost all strength in my knees. W-Weird, I was feeling just fine not too long ago…

“…It’s fine, you’ll just get a bit sleepy.” Konoe nodded as she looked at me.

T-That wench, did she…!

“Y-You…”

I tried asking her, but I couldn’t muster up enough strength to do so. It must have been that sports drink just now, right? Damn it, I should have stayed in that cursed flat instead. But, there’s no way that Konoe would do such a thing out of her own desire. If so, then the mastermind should be…

“Apologies, Jirou.” Konoe gave me an apologetic gaze. “A butler can’t go against their master.”

I heard these words as my consciousness was drifting away.

“……”

I knew it. Rather than some ghost, that damn rich lady is much more terrifying.

1 A baseball manga – Star of the Giants

2 A Russian island

Chapter 1 - Elopement Trip

“…Eh? You’re actually not into guys?”

On the 13th of August, when these words were directed at me, I spit out the barley tea in my mouth at full speed.

“H-Hey! What are you doing!?” A sharp voice reached me from the kitchen.

The owner of this voice had her wavy hair in two beautiful twintails, possessing a slender figure. She wore a yellow apron above her summer-esque clothes. She’s a fellow second-year at Rouran Academy, with the name Usami Masamune. And right now, she threw a dust cloth at me.

“Hurry and clean it up, it’ll leave stains.”

“…Yeah yeah.” I said while catching the dust cloth, and wiped the floor clean.

Can’t dirty other people’s homes after all. And yes, I was currently visiting Usami Masamune’s private residence. She was renting a small room in a flat located inside the city I was living in. If one wondered why I was here on a visit, then let me tell you. I’m here to fulfill the promise we made on the day of the culture festival. Namely, that I would get to eat her homemade food.

“You stupid chicken, I went as far as to make you something cold for this heat, so why’d you waste it like that?” Masamune complained as she stirred up the vegetables in the hot pot.

No matter how I think about it, that’s all your fault for suddenly blurting out something weird like that. How could I keep my mouth shut, you know.

Today is the 13th of August, and we find ourselves in the middle of the currently ongoing summer break. The early summer period had long passed by, and was in its last stage before it would leave us until next year. Instead, the days were full with agonizing temperatures and unbearably hot days that could make the asphalt melt—Mid-summer has come upon us.

Not to mention that it apparently was much hotter compared to last year, the asphalt heating up and creating hot air down on the ground, treating us humans like we were raw BBQ meat. Even just walking all the way over here took all of my mentals strength.

“Also, why today of all days?”

Calling me over on a hot summer day, not to mention during the hottest time of the day, at noon…Not to mention that promise has happened almost a month ago. Well, at least I can sit here in a cool room thanks to that A/C.

“I-I can’t help it, can I. I had to prepare a lot of stuff. And, I didn’t know what to make…” Masamune averted her gaze from me, and faced the pot again.

You say preparations, but…an entire month?

“Not to mention that you had me wait in front of the room for an entire hour, letting me boil outside.”

“Urk…Shut up, stupid chicken! I had to prepare, so I had to prepare!”

“Again with that…”

Then, what? You told me to not be late when you send me the place and time, and yet this is what I get? I seriously doubt I’m wrong, but…were you trying on clothes until the bare limit? I mean, I can literally see how much attention she put into her appearance. I’m wearing a bland t-shirt and jeans, whereas she’s wearing a cute pink camisole with a white miniskirt. Adding to that her tight knee-socks that were glued to her slender and healthy legs…I seriously didn’t know where to look. She feels different from how she always does at school, and…it’s not half bad. More than that though…

“Say, can I ask one thing?”

“What? Got even more complaints?”

“No. I was just wondering, didn’t you say that you were living a fairly poor lifestyle?”

When we went on that date during the school festival, she said that bread with mayonnaise was delicious and whatnot…

“That’s right. It’s not something I enjoy talking about, but I’m poor. I’ll have you pay for all the ingredients I bought today.”

“I don’t mind, but…what about the rest then?”

“…What do you mean?”

“I mean, look at your place. This is bound to be an expensive room, right.” I said, and looked around me.

It was an awfully large room, big enough to hold a small party, together with an expensive ceiling, expensive furniture, and a modern kitchen. Not to mention that I couldn’t see a bed anywhere, which meant that she had a separate bedroom. Add to that the monitor and automatic lock at the entrance of the flat, and the fact that this room was located on the 11th floor, namely the highest, right in the corner.

Honestly, this feels like I wandered into the land of the bourgeoisie. If you call this poor, then Yamanue no Okura, the famous poet about poverty, will come for your head with a time machine.

“I can’t help it. This was the best property.”

“The best? I mean, the convenience of location here is superb, but still.”

I finished wiping the floor, and continued the conversation as I sipped on more tea. This is a great location, indeed. It’s close to the train station, and not too far from the school.

“Not quite. Although you’re right, this location is pretty great.” Masamune explained with a somewhat bragging tone.

It’s not that? A question mark popped up above my head as I tilted my head, when Masamune explained with a happy grin.

“Fufu, can’t help it then, I’ll explain it to you, stupid chicken. Right here is a wonderful location. The conditions are great, the room is beautiful, and the furniture is clean and proper. However, that’s not the most charming point about this. The greatest driving force for picking this place—was the rent.”

“…Rent?”

“Yup. The rent here is super cheap. Without the security deposit, it’s 4.000 yen a month.”

Hearing those words, I once again lost my calm. This time however, the tea didn’t come spurting out of my mouth, but rather my nose. I might just join a circus in the future.

“Wah, what are you doing? Do you have some barley tea allergy?”

“Shut up! This isn’t some reaction towards the tea!”

What kind of odd disposition would that be? Even someone who has gynophobia like me is shocked to hear that. No, that’s not important right now, alright.

“…Masamune-san, isn’t 4.000 yen a month a bit unrealistic?”

Not to mention with no security deposit…in such a high-class flat. What kind of deflation is going on?

“I mean, I was shocked at first myself, but…hearing out the reason, it made sense.”

“Reason?”

“Yup. No matter who moved into this place, they would move out in a month.”

“………”

Even though it was already August, I felt an incredible chill on my skin. I want to believe that this is the A/C working a bit too well, but that sadly wasn’t the case.

“The real estate agent told me that, around two years ago, the woman who lived here was…you know.”

“I don’t know!?”

“Eh? Stupid chicken, you’re curious?”

“No, I’m fine! I’ll take back what I said!”

“2am at night…cheating boyfriend…growing frustration…knife…hanging by the neck…”

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!?”

“Wah, you don’t need to scream like that. I was joking. I don’t know the circumstances, but it’s a fact that she did that.”

“……”

“Anyway, that’s what it is. All of the people who lived here before moved soon after.”

“They all moved…”

So this is like… a possessed property?

“I heard stories like ‘She’ll crawl up to your pillow at 3am’ or ‘Even though I was living on my own, there would be a cup on the desk when I came home’ or ‘I could never take any pictures in this room for some reason’ and so on.”

“…H-Huh.”

“Well, they said that such supernatural things happened. Some people even ran away during the night. Eventually, the rent reached a low price like that.”

“A-Are you okay with living in such a room?”

“Totally. I don’t believe in that sort of stuff.”

“That’s the problem!?”

“They’re just exaggerating anyway. I found some weird papers hung up inside the closet of my bedroom.”

“Papers?”

“They had ‘Evil spirit, be exorcised!’ written on them.”

“Pretty easy to understand if you ask me!”

Also, do these things even help!? Well, if they did, then the previous inhabitants probably wouldn’t have left.

“I took them off since they were in the way though.”

“You took them off!?”

“They’re not cute at all, so I took them out with the burnable trash.”

“Get them back right now!”

“Too late, I did that a year ago. Also, nothing really happened even after I took them off.”

“Nothing really happened…”

“Once night came around, it just showed some weird ‘Tonight it’s you’ on the TV screen, that’s about it.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

That’s pretty big if you ask me! Makes sense why I was feeling nervous the second I walked inside of here. I thought it was because I entered the room of a girl, but it was because of this eerie atmosphere.

“What, are you scared?”

“A-A bit, I guess? Our family isn’t doing too great with all this occult stuff.”

Our family’s education system might be like ‘Children of the wind’ or ‘Terminator!’, but against things physical violence doesn’t work, we’re terrified. I’m already having trouble with it, but if Kureha catches wind of any stories like that, she won’t be able to sleep all night, and snuggled into my bed while hugging her pillow and crying. She sure can be delicate at the weirdest times.

“I’m a bit scared of course, but I think I’ll be able to take this a bit longer.”

“You’re pretty admirable, you know that.”

“Hmpf, I don’t want to hear that from the guy who’s being used as his little sister’s punching bag every morning.”

Well, she’s not wrong. There’s a ghost haunting this place, and a little sister hunting me every morning. It’s hard choosing which is worse. Maybe my little sister is being possessed already? Satan, that you?

“Wait a second, didn’t you say that you’re getting the bare minimum of living expenses from your parents?”

Masamune mentioned that she was living alone because of her family’s circumstances, but she should at least get money for living expenses and rent.

“You’re right, but…I don’t want to use that.”

“You don’t want to use that?”

“I need to earn my own money. Since I found a new part-time job, I should be fine. I did already use some, but once I’ll find a proper job in the future, I’ll pay it all back.” Masamune said with a determined tone.

……Damn, how can she be so cool? Her thought process is so stoic, so gung-ho, it makes me want to respect her despite us being the same age. Since I’ve only seen people like Suzutsuki and Konoe, blessed by their surroundings, it’s a refreshing sight to see someone actually try this hard. It makes me want to support her. I guess I need to learn from her.

“Here, it’s done.” Masamune brought me a plate with the food on it, as well as a small rice bowl.

…Hm? This menu…

“…Hurry up and eat. You told me to treat you, right?”

“Well, yeah…But, why this?”

The food steaming on the plate in front of me…was meat and potato stew.

“I read in a book that all boys like meat and potato stew.”

“What kind of book was that? That’s so old-fashioned.”

“Urk…It said so, okay…Or, do you just not want to eat the food I made?”

“Come on…”

Don’t look at me like you’re about to cry. That makes it seem like I’m bullying you.

“…I get it already.”

It seemed like she might actually break out in tears if I said I wouldn’t eat it, which is why I picked up some of the meat, and carried it to my mouth. Thanks for the food.

“…Hm?”

Oh, this is surprisingly…No, pretty delicious. The seasoning isn’t too strong, and the meat is comfortably soft, and so are the onions. Not to mention that the shirataki noodles are adding a delicious taste to it.

“…How is it?” Compared to Masasmune’s usual confident tone, she sounded quite worried this time.

Looking over, she practically stared at me in wait.

“It’s pretty delicious. This is even good enough that you could cook for a restaurant.” I said, and grabbed some rice next.

It was perfectly boiled, making it not too soft but also not too hard. Man, she might actually be good at cooking…

“R-Really. Then, praise me more!” Masamune let out a sigh, and reached for some stew herself.

Ain’t she honest now. She probably was equally happy as she was embarrassed to have her cooking praised. I can see her blushing. Still, ‘praise me more’, huh. Should I be screaming something like ‘It’s a revolution of taste!’ to fully satisfy her? I might just get kicked instead. Well, anything is better than nothing.

“Hey, Usamin.”

“What, stupid chicken.”

“Don’t be so cold. This meat and potato stew is pretty great. I’d love to make you my wife.”

Right after hearing my words, Masamune’s face turned beet red. More accurately, she spit out the rice she had in her mouth, and threw a coughing fit as she gasped for air.

“…Y-You say some weird things, huh!”

“Weird things? For example?”

“T-The part of you wanting to make me your wife!”

“? What’s so weird about that?”

I mean, it’s not like I have any excellent cook making food for me at home. If she was cooking for me, then…Hm? Wait, she feels more like a housekeeper than a wife now. But, she’d probably step on me if I said that.

“Sorry, I chose the wrong words.”

“Right! That’s just taking it too far!”

“Yeah. A wife is too much. Rather than that…Yeah, I’d love to have you as a maid.”

Right as I finished my words, a table-wiping cloth slapped me in the face—Gaaah, what is this woman doing! I even tried to fix myself!

“Idiot! Stupid chicken! Why are you saying all these lewd things now!”

“Lewd things?”

“It’s a maid, you know!? Wearing nothing but an apron, saying ‘Please forgive me, Master!’, right!?”

“What kind of fantasies are you having!?”

“Eh? Wait…you want me to say ‘Welcome home, Master’ as well?”

“No!”

“Jeez, telling me to say ‘Would you like a bath? Dinner? Or rather…me?’ is taking it too far…”

“It really surprises me just how rotten your thoughts can get!”

I totally forgot. This is Usami Masamune we’re talking about. All her thoughts and ideas are just cursed.

“Sorry, I was wrong, so please let’s just switch the topic.”

This is a shared living district. The walls are probably not that thin, but if someone happened to overhear this conversation, they would surely get the wrong idea.

“Y-Yeah. Right, then…” Masamune thought about something. “You are into guys, right?”

“……”

…Oh right. So we’re going back to that, huh. That rumour is still going around even now—namely that Sakamachi Kinjirou is into guys.

“Listen, I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but I’m not into guys, I don’t enjoy BL.”

“But…aren’t you going out with Subaru-sama…”

“No, that’s not…”

Oh yeah, I did say that before, although it was all to protect Konoe’s secret. Konoe Subaru is the crossdressing butler of the only daughter of the academy’s board chairman, Suzutsuki Kanade. Since she has some annoying circumstances that would make it troublesome if someone found out about her being a girl, I lied and said that we were two guys dating.

Hmm…this is pretty complicated. If I wanted to clear up that misunderstanding, I would have to reveal the fact that Konoe is a girl…As I was thinking on how to solve this situation, Masamune suddenly muttered a faint ‘…Yeah’.

“I get it. I don’t want to be too meddlesome. Everybody has one or two secrets they can’t tell other people.”

“………”

It seems like I somehow convinced her without even saying anything. That probably caused another unwelcome misunderstanding, but whatever. As long as Konoe’s secret is safe, the results don’t matter.

“Ah, there’s one more thing I want to ask…Can I?” She spoke up with a somewhat anxious tone.

“Sure. As long as it’s not related to me being gay.”

“…T-Then, I’ll ask.” She took a faint breath. “Is it true that you confessed to Suzutsuki Kanade during the school festival?”

“……”

That damn nasty rabbit. Why is she trying to dig up trauma after trauma.

“…Masamune. This is just a story between us, but that confession was nothing but lies. It was the only possible choice I had if I wanted to survive that situation.”

I was about to be attacked by more than a hundred Subaru-sama fanclub members. I didn’t want to confess like that either, but it’s better than dying. Though I didn’t expect to get rejected that harshly, alright.

“R-Really!? …Ahh, thank god.”

“? Why do you sound so glad?”

“! N-No reason! Don’t mind me!” Masamune said, as she gulped up her tea in one go.

I wonder, did they ever personally meet? Suzutsuki is the leader and founder of the Subaru-sama Fanclub [S4] at Rouran, and Masamune was a member of that. If so, then it wouldn’t be weird for them to have met…Then again, I doubt they could get along.

“Anyway, we finished eating, so let’s start.”

Right as I was thinking that, Masamune swiftly stood up.

“Hm? Are we going to exorcise that spirit or something?”

We should at least bring a priest from the nearby shrine with us. Then again, I don’t have much faith in that shrine, I never get a good fortune slip after all. By the way, this year I got an ill fortune concerning women. Said something like ‘You should not get involved with women this year’ or the likes. Seriously? You tell me that now? I’ve always had bad luck with women, thanks to my family. I bet it must have been the same even in my previous life.

“What are you talking about, stupid chicken. I’m talking about your treatment.”

“Treatment?”

“Treatment to fix your gynophobia of course. Just leave it to me. I came up with the perfect program.” Masamune puffed out her chest as she explained.

Ahhh, she did say something like that before. Though she never brought it up after the school festival incident, so I completely forgot.

“Before we start your treatment, there’s one thing I want to confirm. Whenever you touch a girl, your body reflexively generates a nosebleed, and at the worst times, you lose consciousness, right?”

“Yeah, although it pains me to admit it. Also, when it’s direct skin contact, the symptoms activate much faster and easier.”

Of course, the time it takes for me to get an actual nosebleed and faint depends on my own physical and mental condition, so it really is more case by case.

“Hmm, I see. Then, my treatment program should work just fine.

“You sure about that? I don’t want you shocking me everytime my symptoms activate.”

“No problem. I won’t do something dangerous like that.”

Right after, a shock ran through my body nonetheless. Shockingly enough—Masamune suddenly put her hand on the zipper of her miniskirt.

“Y-Y-Y-You! What are you doing!?”

“Eh? I’m taking it off, can’t you see? Kya, don’t stare at me like that~”

“Shut up, you stupid rabbit!”

When a girl my age suddenly starts stripping, there’s no way I can look away…Wait, that’s not it! Calm down, calm down. This ain’t the time to act like some adolescent horny teenager. However, the skirt already dropped to the ground, revealing Masamune’s slender legs, and her thick thighs. Of course, not to forget her faintly purple underwear. Her entire body was…

“…Wait a second?”

I feel like this looks more like a swimsuit rather than underwear…

“Got you good, huh? Sorry to say this, but this is a swimsuit. Our club is going to the sea for a training camp, so I bought a new swimsuit with the money I earned from my part-time job. How does it look? Shocked, hm?” Masamune laughed like a child that just succeeded with a prank.

This nasty rabbit, I swear. Please, someone use the A/C to cool down this room some more. Global warming? Don’t care. I need to cool down my head first and foremost.

“Here we go.”

With these words, Masamune put her hands on her upper clothing, and pulled that off in one smooth motion. She took off her kneesocks as well and finished changing completely. What appeared was a faint purple wire bikini. The color looked great on her. The pearls on the tip of the string were cute, and with Masamune’s overall slender body, it emphasized her chest…Oh man.

“And? Does it look good on me?”

Masamune seemed to be embarrassed herself, as her cheeks were colored in a faint red, and she started fidgeting. Oh crap, I might actually be the one in danger right now.

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“Y-Yeah, it really fits you.”

For now, I decided to go with an honest compliment. Can’t go ‘It’s a revolution of taste!’ out of context.

“R-Really? Thanks. I wanted to get another person’s opinion before going on the training camp.”

“Training camp…with the handicrafts club?”

Kureha started preparing her stuff yesterday after all. Apparently they’ll be gone on an uninhabited island for a week, holding a survival training camp. Can’t shock me with that anymore, I heard enough about your handicrafts club during Golden Week. They’ll probably go hunting sharks during that week.

“Also, why are you leaving tonight? Wouldn’t early in the morning be better?”

According to Kureha, their departure would be at midnight. She said something like ‘We’re leaving as we’re shrouded in darkness! So exciting!’ or whatever, but I still think it’s hella weird.

“Apparently the school wouldn’t give permission, so we’re doing it in the shadows.”

“So what about the budget and transportation?”

“That’s why we’re doing it late at night. Um…according to the ‘Funnsies Summer Training Camp Guidebook’, we’ll be sneaking into a transport truck at 1am, and moving with that. At 2am, the truck will deliver its goods to a carriage ship, so we’ll be switching to that. Once we get close to the island, we’ll steal one of the lifeboats…”

“Enough, Masamune. The more I hear, the more nervous I get.”

What a terrifying handicrafts club, really. What they’re doing is getting close to human trafficking. Not even some secret agents go through the lengths they do. As an older brother, I shall pray for the safe return of my little sister.

“Oh yeah, why did you buy a new swimsuit? Didn’t you literally buy a new one like two months ago?”

“Ahh, that competitive swimsuit? That would have been fine, but I figured that wouldn’t be usable for your treatment.”

“……”

That moment, a fierce storm filled my heart, like I stood in the middle of a guerilla warfare battlefield. I got a horrible premonition. This treatment program she’s thinking of, she’s not…

“Now, let’s get this started, stupid chicken. Do your best—and bear with it.”

I tried to escape, but I was too late. Like a rabbit jumping into the air, the girl clung to me as her twintails shook left and right.

“…!? You wench!”

“Fufu, how is this? This will surely fix your gynophobia, right?” While grinning from ear to ear, Masamune tightly wrapped her arms around my back.

I felt something with the consistency of two marshmallows being pressed onto my chest, sending shivers down my spine. She’s not wrong…! If she keeps doing this, I’ll be literally forced to get used to a girl’s body…!

“You damn rabbit! This is more like shock treatment than anything!”

“Wha…what are you talking about! I’m ignoring my own embarrassment to help you! Can’t you see how serious I am!?”

“What do you mean serious!? This training is harsher than anything the old man from ‘Star of the G*ants1’ used!”

“I can’t pull back now! See, I bought a swimsuit that had a lot of open skin so you could directly feel me!”

“That’s why!?”

“I’m super embarrassed, you know? It took me an entire month to muster up the courage to actually do such a thing.”

“So that’s why it took so long!?”

It was all just to gain herself more time!? Damn it, I didn’t think she’d actually prepare a swimsuit like this…!

“…Hm?”

Wait a second. She talks about direct touch of skin, but…

“Hey, Masamune. Even if you wear revealing clothes so that we get as much skin contact as possible…doesn’t that lose all meaning since I’m still wearing my clothes?”

Right now, I’m still wearing my t-shirt, being clung to by Masamune in her bikini style. Strictly speaking, we’re not touching skin on skin here…

“…Ah.”

Because of my words, Masamune’s mouth opened in shock, like she just reached a revelation. Following that, her eyes started to grow teary, with her body quivering, as she tightly closed her lips.

“Y-You were aiming for this, right!?”

“No no no no! You’re just an idiot!”

“Shut up, stupid chicken! This just means I was stripping my clothes off for nothing!”

“Even if you get angry at me for that, it’s not my fault!”

“Ah, right. As long as I just forcefully strip you…”

“Don’t you daaaare!”

While she still clung to me, we dashed along the floor. Even if this is summer-themed, I don’t want to pull off some festival dance with her. I would have preferred some of those Hawaiian fire dances.

“Gueh!?”

Around the area of my nose, I felt something warm. At the same time, I got goosebumps all over my body. Undoubtedly, these were the symptoms of my gynophobia. Even if my t-shirt is blocking off a lot, if she desperately clings to me like that, it’s only a matter of time until I break down.

“Y-You! Let go already!”

“W-Why! Are you saying that my treatment isn’t worth anything!?”

“I never said that, did I!”

“So what’s the problem…Ah, my breasts!? Are my breasts not good enough for you!?”

“Where did that even come from!?”

“How cruel…You don’t know how bothered I am by it…I’m drinking milk every day, you know.”

“What am I supposed to do with that information!?”

Also, I think your size is big enough that you don’t need to worry about…Wait, this isn’t the time for that! My consciousness is starting to fade. At this rate, I’ll get a nosebleed, and pass out—

“………Okay, that should do it.”

Masamune seemed to have seen how my HP was chipping away, and moved her body away from me…Too friggin close. A bit more, and I would have greeted my old man up in heaven. Not funny in this current season either. I might have ended up in a grave, with Masasmune visiting me. Luckily, it seems like I can make it to the graveyard alive this year.

Well, as long as I’m alive, everything’s well. As this death flag was vanishing from above my head, I let out a relieved sigh.

“Stupid chicken, how long are you going to lie on the ground like that?” A sharp voice came raining down on me.

When I raised my head, standing there was Usami Masamune. Because of our previous exchange, she was gasping for air, as she glared down at me with a somewhat sadistic expression.

“…10 sets.”

“…Huh?”

“Like I said, we’ll do this 10 more times. If this didn’t fix it, then we can just keep doing it over and over, endlessly.”

“E-Endlessly…”

“Ah, no doing lewd things, okay. If you try anything like that, I’ll do something even more amazing and make you lose consciousness in an instant.”

“……”

“Don’t worry, I’m embarrassed myself, but this is to fix your gynophobia, so I’ll put up with it. We’re…friends after all.” Masamune nodded to herself, as if she wanted to convince herself.

Limbo—For some reason, this odd and old-fashioned word popped up in my head. In front of me was Masamune, already in a diving hug towards me. I remember…Today is the 13th of August—Friday. I should have realized when I left my home…that today of all days is Friday the 13th.

×

This might be sudden, but the fact that cicadas only fly during the 7th day seems to be a superstition. In reality, it’s hard to witness grown cicadas in breeding, but there seem to be those who fly even every month. Well, even if they were to only fly on the 7th day, I bet they would enjoy their lives much more than I am right now.

“…Hot.”

These words escaped my lips when I was hit by a heat wave the second I stepped out of the mansion. Although my feet definitely landed on the scorching hot asphalt, I couldn’t help but staggering. Must be anemia. After my hellish treatment by Doctor Masamune ended, I judged that in my current state, it would be best to head home directly.

Not even a batter who made it to the Japanese baseball national series would have tagged along until the end there. Not to mention that every time she clung to be, I got a nosebleed. At the very end, Masamune acted all satisfied, saying ‘…Alright, this should have helped a lot with your chicken disposition’, but it’s honestly terrifying how everything she did had the opposite effect. Even going along with a certain bratty shogun’s morning training isn’t as exhausting as this.

The time was currently 3pm in the afternoon. The heat outside was at its highest today. Walking outside right now is pretty much getting close to torture, but I just had to ecape from this hellish mansion as quickly as possible.

“Urk…”

Unable to bear with the brightly shining sun, I narrowed my eyes as I walked along. At this rate, I might just collapse from the anemia and a heat stroke, also known as the worst possible combination. It feels like all the blood I have left in me is vaporizing. I wanted to refill some of my lack of water, so I headed to a vending machine at a street corner. To me, it looked like an oasis in the middle of the Sahara.

Now then, what should I get…I took out my wallet to check how much money I had on me, but shockingly enough, I only had 20 yen with me. Shit, I thought I could treat myself to something great, but I didn’t even have enough money on me. That meat and potato stew just cost me too much.

“…Damn it.”

Guess I have to put up with it until I get back. With this determination in mind, I once again set foot onto the burning asphalt. Luckily, if I walk a bit more, I’ll be in my neighbourhood again, so there’s hope. Once I get back, everything will be okay. After all, Kureha will be gone for her training camp starting today. Not to mention the entire week. That means that the paradise I had lost during Golden Week will befall on me once again, only even better.

And, this year’s summer break is special for me as well. After all, Mom won’t be home either. My dear main provider made every single summer break of my life a different type of hell. It would be training from morning to evening. Last year, I complained ‘It’s already this hot, just let me go!’ with tears in my eyes, she then took me to her summering residence Sakhalin2 for a training camp, which is located to the north of Hokkaido. When she told me ‘Go snatch some of the Russian army’s food supplies!’, I genuinely thought my blood was going to freeze.

That’s why I’ll definitely use this summer break for my own freedom, and enjoy myself thoroughly. It’ll probably be over soon enough just by relaxing at home or having fun with Kurose and classmates, but it’s better than anything I ever experienced, so I won’t let anybody take this from me…!

These thoughts filled my head, so I put up with my dry throat aching, and walked my way beneath the burning sun, when—

“…Jirou, want a sip?” Suddenly, an alto voice spoke up next to me.

I turned towards the voice in shock, only to find a classmate looking at me with a refreshed expression despite this heat. Her translucent eyes shone brightly, as her orange hair glittered being shone on by the sun. To counter the heat, she wore a half-sleeved shirt with a necktie, together with boyish half-pants below that, just emphasizing her slender stature—Konoe Subaru.

She is the number one prince at our school, as well as a butler, and now offers me a sports drink.

“…Thanks.” I said, and accepted the sports drink, gushing it down my throat without any hesitation.

Mm, perfect. It had a bit of a weird taste, but maybe it’s some new product?

“Thanks a bunch. But, why are you here?”

Looking around, I couldn’t find her master Suzutsuki around. Normally those two always move together, but maybe they have different business.

“I had some business at your place, Jirou.”

“My place? Why?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, but…” For some reason, Konoe awkwardly averted her gaze.

It’s not about the summer homework, is it? Sadly, I won’t be bothered with that for a while, I want to enjoy my peaceful days. Don’t remind me, please.

“Leaving that aside…” There, Konoe suddenly gave me a serious gaze. “What about you, Jirou…what were you doing around here?”

“…Eh?” Subconsciously, I was now the one to look away.

Standing in front of me was Subaru-sama, staring directly into my soul, freezing every part of my body.

“Not to mention that you smell of stew.”

“!”

“And, I get the stench of another girl from you.”

“Seriously!?”

“…Jirou, were you meeting with someone behind my back?” Butler-kun would not dare take her eyes away from me.

I could feel sweat running down my cheeks, but I doubt this was because of the summer heat…What should I do, I feel like it would be better to not tell Konoe about what I just experienced. What would happen if I carelessly said ‘A girl wearing a swimsuit was clinging to me in a secluded room until my nose started bleeding’, huh? She’d think I had gotten crazy from the heat.

Not to mention that Konoe doesn’t exactly think positively of Masamune. First it was simply because she was the reason for my fight with Konoe during the school festival, but I feel like there’s a different reason for Konoe’s recent hostility. For example, I sometimes would eat lunch with Masamune, but that would leave Konoe in a seriously bad mood. Well, she might dislike the idea of having her friend taken away by someone else, I guess. Either way, I need to keep what happened today a secret…

“…Well, whatever.”
“Eh?”

To my surprise, Konoe stopped her attack.

“You have your own private life after all. I don’t want to dig into other people’s secrets, as that is what it means to be a polite butler.” Konoe showed a confident grin, as she puffed out her chest.

…I’m saved. With a relieved sigh, I wiped away the cold sweat on my body. I can’t lose any more liquid or I will die of dehydration.

“Oh yeah, what business were you talking about?”

I mean, she came over personally, and didn’t just call me, so I figured it must have been something important…

“Yeah. The thing is, there is something I need to tell you…” There, Konoe took a deep breath. “—Let’s run away together.”

“……Huh?”

Hearing these words was too big of a shock for me, I was at a loss. Run away? Is this what I think it is? The type of elopement a man and woman do when their marriage isn’t being accepted? But, why Konoe and me? We’re not even dating.

“I know that what I’m saying comes out of the blue, but I need you, Jirou.” Konoe approached me with an upwards gaze.

It might just be my imagination, but her eyes looked oddly dampened…Hey hey hey, what kind of situation is this? Konoe would always have a dignified expression, so seeing her this flustered is just more nerve-wracking. And the sizzling heat around me didn’t help much with not making me dizzy.

“…Huh?”

There, I lost all strength in my knees. W-Weird, I was feeling just fine not too long ago…

“…It’s fine, you’ll just get a bit sleepy.” Konoe nodded as she looked at me.

T-That wench, did she…!

“Y-You…”

I tried asking her, but I couldn’t muster up enough strength to do so. It must have been that sports drink just now, right? Damn it, I should have stayed in that cursed flat instead. But, there’s no way that Konoe would do such a thing out of her own desire. If so, then the mastermind should be…

“Apologies, Jirou.” Konoe gave me an apologetic gaze. “A butler can’t go against their master.”

I heard these words as my consciousness was drifting away.

“……”

I knew it. Rather than some ghost, that damn rich lady is much more terrifying.

1 A baseball manga – Star of the Giants

2 A Russian island