Mayo Chiki!

Chapter 2 - Beachside Baby

“Good morning, Jirou-kun. How are you feeling?”

The moment I opened my eyes, I heard a dignified voice. When my eyes finally focused, I saw the smile of a certain rich lady—Suzutsuki Kanade. She was looking directly at my face.

“………”

Well, I guessed as much.

“…Suzutsuki-san, can I ask one thing?”

“What might that be, Jirou-kun?” She smiled gently.

I took a deep breath, and continued.

“…Why are you looking like that?”

“Eh? What’s wrong with it? Does it not look good?”

“No, that’s clearly not the problem here.”

The rich lady grinned with a teasing smile—while wearing a yukata. It looked like the type you wore in an inn or hotel, and seeing a rich lady wear such commoner clothing creates a large gap, but I don’t even feel the energy to get excited over that. What even happened? Last I remember, I accepted a sports drink from Konoe beneath the scorching sun, and…

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to use such fierce methods.”

“So you were the one who planned all of that!”

“It’s fine, the medicine wasn’t that strong.”

“That’s the problem!?”

“It worked about as well as that certain detective’s arm clock tranquilizer gun1.”

“It worked perfectly, yeah!”

“There is always only one truth.”

“Shut up! This ain’t the time to act cool with his catchphrase!”

“However, you are a bit off with something, Jirou-kun.”

“Huh?”

“It didn’t exactly work perfectly.” Suzutsuki pointed at the clock inside the room.

…Wait a second, that’s weird. The arms of the clock are pointing towards 7 in the morning…Don’t tell me!

“It actually worked a bit too perfectly, see.”

“Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!?”

“I was worried, you know? You wouldn’t wake up at all.”

“Now I should actually call for a private detective!”

“There is always only one truth.”

“You’re the criminal!”

“I didn’t have any bad intentions, okay. Also, you must have been lacking some sleep as well, right? A few days ago, you pulled an all-nighter, right?”

“Urk…”

Just as she said, that day I spent with Kurose playing games all night. Maybe that’s why the medicine worked so well. But, why does she even…No, better not think about it too deeply. What’s more important right now…

“So, what exactly is going on, dear Suzutsuki-san?”

“Fufu, I’m glad you’re quick to switch. You’re quite positive I see, Jirou-kun.” The young lady smiled as her black twintails swayed in a breeze.

Don’t underestimate me. I always try to keep positive thinking ongoing during my day. If not, then I wouldn’t have survived in that hellish family.

“But, don’t you understand after looking around?”

“I mean, this seems to be some inn or whatever, but beyond that…”

You’re wearing a yukata. Looking around, this room looks like a large Japanese place, filled with the scent of tatami mats. From the open window, a faint salty sea breeze entered the room, and—Wait, hold on. Sea breeze? Don’t tell me…

“You finally realized? This is a certain hot spring inn near the sea.”

“H-Hot spring inn?”

“By the way, this inn is connected to my family. Not to mention that we’ve rented the entire place. What do you think? Shocking, right?”

“…Rather than shocking…”

Why even this place? Near the sea…a hot spring inn…That’s almost like we’re on a trip. Oh yeah, Konoe mentioned something like that…Something about ‘Let’s run away together’.

“There is a proper reason for this.” Suzutsuki started explaining. “I ran away from home.”

“Huuuh!?”

“I ran away from home. I got in a fight with my parents.”

“A fight…”

“They said that we should go on a trip overseas during this summer break. They ignored my opinion, so I boycotted. Of course, together with Subaru.”

“…Huh, really now.”

Wait, this isn’t the time to simply accept that. Since she ran away from home…that’s pretty much the same as Konoe during Golden Week. I don’t know the concrete details, but maybe they’re just in their rebellious phase. Even so—something feels off. I mean, she’s still taking a trip right now. Did she hate the idea of going overseas that much? Why is a hot spring inn so much better…

“I mean, you’d hate it if people just decided things for you, right? This is my precious once in a lifetime summer break, so I want to enjoy it the way I prefer.”

“No no no no, didn’t you literally decide my plans right now?”

“I was worried to only have girls with me on this trip.”

“Even so…Konoe’s plenty, right?”

As a butler, she’s trained in self-defence, and is pretty strong. She could even win against Kureha, and since Kureha bested an Asian black bear before, I doubt any average person could stand their ground against Konoe.

“Well, the biggest reason is…a training camp.”

“Training camp?”

“That’s right, a training camp solely focussed on fixing your gynophobia. Don’t worry, I properly came up with a plan, so we’ll deal with it during this summer.” The rich lady flashed a gentle smile.

She’s clearly out to just play around with me, right. If I had to guess, she pulled me along because she saw another chance to tease me again. Am I some board game you can just take with you anywhere?

“Before coming here, we stopped by your house, and had Kureha-chan prepare a change of clothes for you, so don’t worry.”

“Huh, aren’t you considerate. Well, going on a trip once in a while won’t hurt, I guess.”

You might think that I’m taking this a bit too well despite it being so abrupt, but I just learned that complaining about the same stuff over and over won’t get you anywhere. It must be something I learned thanks to my family’s environment. Since I’m on a trip already, I might as well. Not to mention that it’s a luxurious hot spring inn near the sea, I won’t get many more chances to visit these kinds of places.

“Alright, I’ll tag along with you. Also, I wanna change my clothes, so could you take me to my room?”

If what she’s saying is true, then I’ve been wearing the same clothes ever since yesterday, so I want to quickly change into something fresh…However.

“What are you talking about?” Suzutsuki opened her mouth like she was saying something obvious. “This is our room.”

“…Wha?”

Timeout, timeout, eh? What, so that means…

“Fufufu.”

I froze up because of the shock, to which Suzutsuki’s cheeks turned a faint red.

“Jirou-kun, you got more than you show.”

“!”

“You ended up being quite well-trained. Have you been training on the side recently?”

“W-Wait a second, Suzutsuki. Why do you know such personal information about me?”

“Eh? Do I really need to say that?” Suzutsuki put her index finger on her own lips with a teasing smile, and. “Ahahaha.”

“Don’t cover it up with a laugh! W-What were you doing while I was asleep!? And without my consent even!”

“Your mouth can say whatever you want, but your body is quite honest.”

“Seriously?!”

“You can let out quite the adorable voice, Jirou-kun.”

“Nooooooo!?”

“Fufu, just kidding. You don’t need to take everything so seriously.”

“……”

“Well, the fact of us sharing this room is the truth though.”

“I really wish that part was you just kidding as well!”

Ahhhhh this devil! Normally I’d be above the clouds in excitement to sleep in the same room as a girl, but we’re talking about Suzutsuki Kanade. She will definitely pull off some sick joke when I’m asleep. Like stripping me naked.

“Also, why are we sleeping in the same room?”

“There’s also a proper reason for that. We wouldn’t have been able to reserve this inn otherwise.”

Suddenly, Suzutsuki closed the distance between us, coming close enough that I could feel her breath.

“Would you like to know?”

“W-What exactly?”

“The reason we needed to stay in the same room. It’s related to the title of this inn.”

“Title?”

“Running away. Elopement. You heard from Subaru, right? We came here to run away as lovers.”

With a sweet voice like a kitten begging for food, she whispered into my ear.

…This is bad. What kind of situation is this? This is a hot spring inn, a secluded room, with just the two of us, she’s wearing a yukata, on top of a futon…Waaah, such a death match! Not to mention that, because of Suzutsuki’s position, I could see a bit deeper inside her yukata…with…you know, her cleavage and stuff…?

“Hey, Jirou-kun.” Smiling Deretsuki-san approached me.

Waaaah, I can almost touch her! Is this another part of her gynophobia treatment program? If so, then that would be far too forceful. What if that crossdressing butler saw us right here? I won’t make it out of here alive, and…Wait? Where is Konoe anyway?

“Young lady, the breakfast has been prepared.” An alto voice passed through the Japanese room.

Looking over, Subaru-sama was wearing a yukata as well, and stood next to the door.

“Thank you, Subaru. Then, let’s go, shall we. We have plans to head to the sea today, and tomorrow, there will be a summer festival. With all these events going on, we need to properly eat and regain energy.” Suzutsuki said, and moved away from me.

“O-Okay.” I muttered, and stood up.

It seems like Konoe didn’t think much when witnessing that just now. Well, that makes sense. I’m the weird guy who got all self-conscious in that situation after all.

“…Jirou.”

Right after I was about to leave the room, Konoe called out to me in a voice only I could pick up.

“R-Right now…w-w-w-were you about to kiss the young lady…?”

“……”

Calm down, calm down. She’s got the wrong idea, so clear it up.

“W-While I’m gone, you two…on a futon even…”

“C-Calm down, that’s no way that would happen, okay.”

“B-But, your faces were so close, and…”

“That was just Suzutsuki teasing me again, alright.”

That had to have been it. After all, she confessed to me at the school festival just as a joke.

“Also, there’s no way we’d just kiss like that, right?”

Or so I say, but Suzutsuki and I kissed already. I really want to forget about it. It was probably just another prank of hers.

“…R-Right.” Konoe listened to my words, and started blushing like she was embarrassed about something.

…Hm? What’s that reaction for? O-Oh right, Konoe and I also kissed before…huh. However, that was an accident and nothing more. Konoe had to do that in order to save me from drowning, but ever since that was revealed, Konoe would start blushing like a ripe tomato as soon as that story comes up. Seems to be memories she can’t forget even if she wanted to.

I might be relatively calm while analyzing this, but since these are memories I never even experienced, and it was necessary to save my life, I can’t tell if it’s a blessing in disguise or not. However, that wasn’t the case for Konoe, understandably…

“Come on, let’s go eat breakfast ourselves.” I said, in an attempt to fix this awkward atmosphere.

“…Yeah.” After a brief silence, Konoe joined in, and followed after me.

Well, once we’re done eating lunch, things will be better, surely. The two of us stepped out into the hallway, and followed Suzutsuki. Hmmm, this sure is a flashy inn, alright. It’s crazy enough they might recommend it in a travel guide book. Being able to rent this entire thing…is no joke.

I glanced at the pamphlet they offered in the hallway, and as expected, this is pretty far away from our place…Wait? Isn’t this near the inn Kureha and the others went to? Then again, they went to a deserted island, so running into them is very unlikely.

“…Hm?”

Something caught my attention. Why is the pretense of this trip ‘Elopement’? And why was that necessary in order to rent this inn?

“Hey, Konoe, what is the goal of this trip?” I asked the butler walking next to me, only to get back a baffled ‘Eh?’.

“The goal…you didn’t hear from the young lady?”

“Only that us being on elopement or something was necessary in order to rent this inn, but that’s about it. Also, is the reason for this trip really just Suzutsuki’s selfishness?”

“…Hm.” For some reason, Konoe averted her gaze.

Excuse me, but what kind of reaction is that? Is it that hard to say? We both just ended up silent, and walked along the hallway next to each other.

“Oh my, good morning.” A woman wearing Japanese clothing appeared.

She might be the proprietress of this inn. Age-wise, it would fit.

“You must be…Sakamachi-sama, I take it. Nice to meet you, I am the proprietress of this inn, Yugawara.” The woman introducing herself as such lowered her head.

Since this was mere politeness, I did the same. Since this inn is connected to the Suzutsuki Family, they probably know each other?

“Thank you very much for choosing this inn.”

“No, I’m just tagging along, nothing more.”

Hmm, talking to her is a bit nerve wracking. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to it. Still, she sure is polite. I was practically just dragged along here, so there’s no need to be this considerate.

“By the way, Sakamachi-sama.” Yugawara-san suddenly moved closer to me, whispering. “Naturally, tonight’s bath will be mixed bathing, I assume?”

“……”

Now hold your damn horses. What did she just say?

“Rest assured. Normally we would not offer such special service, but we know that Kanade-ojousama and Sakamachi-sama are staying over, so we are willing to provide a bit extra.”

Because of this sudden impact hitting my body, I froze up. Yugawara-san however didn’t mind that, and continued. The hell is wrong with her? Why is she trying to be considerate now? Do you have some shut-in son you’re caring for? This is weird. Something doesn’t make sense here. This is almost like Suzutsuki and I really ran away in an elopement…

“Still, we were quite shocked to hear the news from Kanade-ojousama.” The proprietress Yugawara-san let out a fulfilled ‘Ohohoho’ laugh, like she was a housewife talking about some celebrity scandal. “To think that Kanade-ojousama would be this bold.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Isn’t that right, Sakamachi Kinjirou-sama? Or should I already get used to calling you Suzutsuki Kinjirou-sama? It must be hard having sworn your hands in marriage to each other, but being forced to elope as you aren’t being accepted by the people around you. However, rest assured. We are your allies here, and will support you no matter what.”

 

“That was the only option I had in order for them to let us stay here, okay.”

Right after we finished eating breakfast. Naturally, I didn’t wait another minute to squeeze out the meaning behind the proprietress’ words. Of course, we weren’t standing in the inn from before, but instead outside, where the salty sea breeze hit us. We were currently moving towards a swimming area close to the coast. The one carrying all the luggage was me, of course. From sheets to beach umbrellas, I was carrying quite a bit.

“If I said that I was just running away from home, they might have contacted the main family, and had them take me back, don’t you agree?”

“That doesn’t mean you can just make up nonsense about us having promised to marry each other…”

“Isn’t it fine? Thanks to that, we don’t have to pay for the inn.”

“You’re not wrong, but…”

To think she just announced us as fiancees. Makes sense why we’d stay in the same room. Rather than elopement, this is like a honeymoon.

“Also, if we didn’t do that, then something troublesome would have happened, right, Subaru?”

“Y-Young lady…!” Because of Suzutsuki’s words, Konoe started panicking.

“After all, the people working at that inn don’t know that Subaru is a girl. Only the people living in the Suzutsuki Residence know of that fact.”

“So why is that so problematic?”

“Splitting up the rooms, you know. Normally they would put the two men in a group, and the woman in a room of her own.”

“Ahh, I see.”

Separating men and women, I see. Basically, it would have ended with me and Konoe in the same room. I could see Konoe panicking in embarrassment. That’s how we all three ended up in the same room, huh.

“Two fiancees, and their servant, all three of them on the run in elopement. It’s a bit forceful, but now it won’t be suspicious that we all stay in the same room.”

“It feels like we’re on a school trip.”

Then again, a single guy in a room with two girls is still pretty dangerous. Especially for my sleeping schedule. And no, I’m not thinking about anything weird.

“Apologies, Jirou. It’s not that I hated the idea of sleeping in the same room as you, it’s just…”

“I know, don’t worry about it.”

Konoe might be dressing as a guy, but deep down she still is a girl. It’d be awkward to sleep in the same room as a boy.

“…Oh?”

As we walked along the path next to the sea, a strong marine blue and white beach entered our view. It’s an everlasting summer beach. We’ve made it to our own summer paradise.

“Waaah, amazing!” I was overwhelmed by the scenery in front of me, and let out a dumbfounded comment.

The sparkling sea, the comfortable breeze, the sound of the waves, and the cheerful voices of the other tourists, this was better than I expected. Maybe I should be a bit more thankful that they brought me here.

“Now, let’s have some fun.” It must have been subconsciously done, but even the rich lady’s voice had a bit of excitement in her.

I split up with the two at a nearby changing room with coin lockers, changed into my swimsuit, and walked towards the beach all on my own. Wahoooooooo—is what I was feeling right now. In April we already headed to the leisure land, but the real deal is the best after all. The shining sun, the clear blue sky, the waves crashing, everything is just so authentic, and stimulating. Who could not get excited with this. Alright, better set up the sheet and parasol…

“At least wait for us to change, will you?”

Right as I was entranced by the paradise in front of me, I heard an annoyed voice behind my back. I reflexively turned around—and swallowed my breath. There stood Suzutsuki Kanade, naturally wearing a swimsuit.

“The sea really is great.” The rich lady narrowed her eyes, as she gazed at the open sea.

It’s the same black bikini she wore at the leisure land before. Her proportions really are no joke. It feels like we’re gathering the attention of the people around us a lot more now, so I guess it must be because of Suzutsuki, I bet. Even her gestures made her look like a model currently on a photoshoot.

“P-Please wait, young lady!”

Running after Suzutsuki was the all-too-familiar Butler-kun with her hair down, slightly reddened cheeks, and…Wait? Why is she wearing a bath towel around her body?

“Hm?”

There, I caught on to something crucial. Back at the leisure land, she was changing in the same room as me. Of course, that is because we had Kureha with us, who did not know of her secret. However, Kureha was not around right now. That would mean…possibly…

“Come on, don’t be so embarrassed.” Suzutsuki forcefully pulled the towel off Konoe’s body.

“Hya!” Konoe let out a shriek as her body was revealed.

Unlike the clothes she wore back at the leisure land, these were clearly aimed at women—a bikini. It was a snow white bikini unbefitting of this summer season, and although it didn’t emphasize her chest like Suzutsuki’s, the frilly pareo skirt looked great on her. More than anything, this might be the first time I see Konoe looking so feminine, compared to her usual male attire.

Her white skin, her delicate hands and legs, her revealed collarbone, and even her faintly red cheeks, it’s like I was looking at an entirely different person…

“J-Jirou…how is it? Young lady chose this swimsuit for me.”

“………!” Out of embarrassment, I averted my gaze.

I bet that my face wasn’t feeling hot solely because of the sunlight hitting me.

“Y-Yeah, not bad.” I somehow managed to move my lips, and formed these words.

I sure as hell could think of much better words to compliment her with, but that is the best I could manage.

“T-Thanks…!” Subaru-sama seemed relieved, as she gently smiled.

…Damn it, she’s so cute. I couldn’t even look at her, so I averted my gaze towards the shore. Because we were in the middle of summer break season, the beach was full with tourists. In the midst of these I saw a group doing the melon-splitting game, some guys trying to pick up girls with especially big breasts, and children who were creating a large crater in the sand.

By the way, I actually have no experience when it comes to melon-splitting. At home, they split the melon with a piledriver move, and I was more specialized in actually eating them. Still, what a large watermelon that is. Maybe they would share some with me?

“…Hmpf.”

I heard a displeased voice near me. Looking over, Konoe was closely inspecting my face as I had been looking at the melon-splitting event.

“What’s wrong? What’s that scary face for?”

I mean, rather than a scary face, she looked more like a sulking child, making her look cute than anything. Why is she in such a bad mood now? I was just watching some big-breasted girls doing some big melon-splitting.

“W-Well…” Konoe put her fingers together in front of her chest. “So…I guess…you like bigger ones as well, Jirou?”

“…Bigger ones?”

I mean, the bigger watermelon the better, but why are we talking about that now?

“I mean yeah, I like big ones.”

“Wha…”

When I gave a straight response, Konoe seemingly received a huge shock, as she embraced her chest with both her arms.

“~~~!”

…? Does she like smaller ones instead?

“D-Do you like big ones that much?”

“I mean, they’re more delicious, right?”

“D-Delicious…”

“Easier to bite into as well.”

“Bite into!?”

“…Why are you shocked about that?”

I’m just talking about my preference for watermelons.

“I-I had no idea that you would be so bold as to proudly declare that.”

“Boldly declare…I mean, isn’t that pretty normal?”

“Normal…”

“Even Kureha said ‘I like bigger ones!’, you know?”

“Why would Kureha-chan say such a thing!?” Konoe staggered backwards.

What’s so weird about that? We would often eat watermelons at home. Our relatives grow watermelons themselves, so they would send us a large amount of them every year. Watermelons basically remind me of the summer season.

“I-I had no idea that Kureha-chan had such interests…!”

“Interests? Isn’t that normal in an average family? Are you different?”

“Of course! I’m not like you!”

“Our family all loves them, though.”

“They all love them!?”

“I think I came to like them when I was like 4.”

“At an age when you were still carrying a kindergarten backpack!?”

“Even our relatives would often bring them over.”

“Why!?”

“Huh? To share them, of course.”

“S-Share them?”

“They said ‘We’ve taken great care of them, so please enjoy’.”

“Waaaaaaaah!?” Konoe held her head as she crouched down in despair.

“Scary…Commoner families are scary…!” She muttered, like she had received a severe culture shock.

What is wrong with her? Maybe she’s suffering from a heatstroke? I was planning on explaining the greatness of watermelons to her now.

“…That is some crazy acrobatic conversation you two are having right now.” Suzutsuki let out a sigh, like she understood everything.

Acrobatic? We were just talking about watermelons though?

“Don’t worry, I’ll properly explain everything to Subaru later so that she won’t live on with this misunderstanding.” The rich lady explained with a serious expression.

Next to her was our dear Butler-kun, growing pale as she muttered ‘No way, Kureha-chan is…’ or something like that…Well, whatever. We’re all just excited to stand here in front of the sea.

“Now then, let’s go for a swim, shall we. But, before that…Take care of this, will you.” Suzutsuki handed me some sunscreen cream.

…Hey. Are you telling me to…

“This marks the beginning of the long-awaited treatment program. Won’t you put this on me?”

With a calm and rational tone of voice as always, Suzutuski laid down on the sheet beneath the parasol, and…Gyaaaaaah! Why is she pulling off the string of her bikini top!?

“Y-You!”

“What’s wrong? I feel like this should be a pretty effective treatment method. And, you protect me from the sun, so it’s two birds with one stone, right.”

You’re definitely not wrong, alright. My gaze was drawn towards Suzutsuki’s open back. Soft skin, with a faint sweat building on it, showing not a single pore of impurity, not to mention her behind still covered by the swimsuit, she’s far too defenceless.

“…!”

…This is bad. All of the blood inside my body is going to start boiling.

“T-Then, here I go?” I sat down next to Suzutsuki, and put some sunscreen on my hand.

This is all treatment, so I can only put up with it…!

“Ah, a small reminder, Jirou-kun. If you were to end up with a nosebleed here, you’ll be mistaken as someone suspicious, and probably taken away for life.”

“I-I know that!”

Calm down, me. Be like a machine. All I have to do is put sunscreen on a girl’s back, that’s my job. I want to become a machine. Slowly, my palm reached towards Suzutsuki’s back—

“Hya!”

“Wah!? W-What! Don’t let out a weird voice like that!”

“I mean, it was cold, so…”

“That doesn’t mean you should just let out a voice you normally wouldn’t!”

“How rude. What kind of character am I in your eyes?”

“You sure as hell know that yourself, don’t you!”

“Fufu, I wonder. Ah, do my nape as well, please.”

“Yeah yeah…Urk!?”

“…Are you okay?”

“S-Shut up. I’m trying hard not to get a nosebleed right now.”

“Hmm, are you that excited?”

“M-Moron! As if I’d get gyaaaah!?”

Something cold touched my back, forcing me to let out a shriek. Turning around, sitting there was Konoe Subaru. She was putting sunscreen on my back now.

“Jirou, let me help you with the sunscreen.”

“P-Please, no more…!”

“Also, one question…” Konoe smiled. “—Watermelon-splitting or playing in the sand.”

“Eh?”

“I mean, I was just wondering which you preferred?”

“……”

Crap, her eyes look dead. If I had to guess, she’s probably deciding between splitting my head, or burying me in the sand. She probably thinks I’m laying my hands on her master, right.

“Highya!?”

Despite it being mid-summer, I felt goosebumps all over my body. As expected, you could say. I’m touching Suzutsuki’s bareback, while Konoe is touching my back. Damn it, this undoubtedly can be seen as treatment. It’s like I’m hanging on for life with a single thread, like a doll almost. There’s no knowing when I’m done for.

“Hey, Jirou-kun. Just putting it on normally is boring, so how about we make this a game?” Not knowing of my suffering, Suzutsuki spoke up. “You’ll be writing something on my back, and I have to guess that.”

“G-Got it. You want me to focus on something else during this situation so that my symptoms don’t activate, right?”

“Correct. Go ahead and write something.”

“A-Alright…”

Then again, what should I write? Maybe some random word? For now, I put my index finger on her back.

“…Ahhnn!”

“!? What was that voice just now?”

“I-I’m fine…Your finger just tickled my back, that’s all.”

“R-Really? Then, I’m writing it.”

“Ah…no…s-slower…”

“O-Okay…”

“Hya, no…so fast…and so strong…”

“……”

“Ah…Ah…Ahnn…No…it’s just your finger, and yet…”

“Suzutsuki, you’re doing this on purpose, right?”

“Fufu, you found out already? I figured you’d be happy about this.” She laughed it off.

I figured, she really is in her Deretsuki mode. But, don’t underestimate me. It made my heart race faster, but you haven’t stolen my heart yet.

“…A-Alright.” I somehow managed to finish writing what I wanted onto Suzutsuki’s back.

Everybody knows it, so I don’t think it’s that difficult…

“Eh? You want me to say such obscene words?”

“I knew you’d be twisting the game around like that!”

“But, telling me to say ‘Noo, Jirou-kun, not so fiercely’ is…”

“I didn’t even write anything remotely close to that! Also, Konoe, why are you hammering ‘Kill’ onto my back like that?!”

“…Hmpf.”

“Eek! Stop, don’t wrap your fingers around my neck—!”

On a side note, the words I wrote on Suzutsuki’s back were ‘Omae wa mou shindeiru’. I always wanted to say these words as a man. This might just be unneeded information, but around ten months after Kureha was born, these were her first words apparently. Not bad, I must say.

“Oh? Are you done already?” Suzutsuki sounded oddly dissatisfied.

Like hell I’d continue this for much longer. I’m already running short on breath. It feels like I’m the winner of a tough russian roulette game.

“Urk…”

I feel sick. All this time I was desperately clinging on to my consciousness, so I’m feeling dizzy. It’s almost like I was riding a rollercoaster for hours.

“Fufu, thank you. How about you buy some drinks before we go for a swim, you’re a bit pale in the face.”

“…Yeah, I’ll do that.” I stood up on unsteady feet, and headed to the beach house where we store our belongings.

I would have preferred to go for a swim right away, but if I entered the sea now, I would most likely drown. Even though it was barely noon, the front of the stalls were crowded. I was wondering why that was the case, since this mass of people was weird even for the season, but the irregularity was the service. Listening to the words of the other customers around, apparently there’s girls in swimsuits servicing you. What a great idea that is. As long as it doesn’t violate any rules around here.

“Woah!?”

I lined up behind the crowd of people, when someone bumped into me, making me drop my glasses in the process. Ahh, my glasses are covered in sand now…Better wash it soon…

“Welcome!”

With this, my turn arrived. Hm, can’t help it. I’ll just put the glasses in my swimsuit’s pocket for now. I’ll have to order without them for now.

“…!”

However, when I stood facing the employee, I was at a loss for words. A monster greeted me. Wrapped in an orange bikini were voluptuous breasts. Damn, she might have more than Suzutsuki actually.

“…? Is something wrong?” The girl tilted her head in front of me.

She possessed long, brightly-colored hair. Adding her calm gaze with glasses, her tanned look gave her a more relaxing vibe…But, what’s that on her head?

“…Cat ears?” I muttered.

That’s right, those were undoubtedly cat ears. For some reason, the glasses girl wore cat ears at the beach. Hmm, maybe this is some booming fashion trend? Well, just staring at her would be rude, I guess.

“Hm? You…” The girl closely inspected my face. “You would look great with glasses, yes.”

“………”

I feel like she said something far more rude right there. What even is that supposed to mean? Oh yeah, a girl I recently got to know was saying similar stuff. I wonder what she’s doing right now? Since she’s part of the handicrafts club, she’s probably trying to survive on a deserted island right now.

“However, you probably won’t be able to win against that person.”

“That person?”

“Yes, he’s a Senpai at our school, known as the King of Glasses.”

“Can you say that in front of the person in question? I bet he really dislikes that name.”

“Well, we never called him like that, but I’m sure Sakamachi-senpai wouldn’t mind.”

“………”

Man, the world really is a small place. To think there existed another glasses bastard with the same family name as me.

“But, he’s not just all glasses.”

“Hmm.”

“After all, that Senpai is actually in love with our school’s prince.”

“Wait a second…”

“A storm of BL, yes. Tres bien, indeed. A modern Romeo and Juliet.”

“Don’t think Romeo and Juliet were both men, you know…”

“Ahh, if only he was here with us…He would surely create more great material, including both BL and glasses, and…Ouchies!?”

Reflexively, I flicked my fingers on the glasses’ lens. In response, the girl rolled around on the floor, screaming ‘My eyes, my eyes!’…Crap, this exchange feels oddly nostalgic. To be accurate, something similar happened at the school festival. Back then, I couldn’t see what she looked like because of the costume, but this glasses junkie attitude, and this voice…No, calm down. She should be off on a deserted island.

“Ouch, how cruel…” The girl fixed her glasses, and groaned.

“Ah, sorry, was that too strong?”

“…No need for you to apologize. Instead…” For some reason the girl was gasping for air, and took out stylish glasses from somewhere. “Put on some glasses as well.”

“Why!?”

“Eh? Well, you need to take responsibility for what you did.”

“What a weird way for me to take responsibility!”

“Then, your order won’t cost anything as long as you put them on…Ahh, why are you trying to run!”

“Well, my stomach suddenly started hurting…”

“That’ll be fixed once you put on these glasses!”

“Like hell it will!”

“It’s true! Every kind of sickness can be healed with glasses alone! They can even help with severe diseases, and make you all energetic and healthy again, so come here!”

“That sounds like it could come out of a late night shopping channel! Get away from me!”

“You won’t get away! Not until you put on these glasses!” A devil’s hand grabbed for me beyond the counter.

Eeek, I came here to relax, so why is my gynophobia activating again! Not to mention that with every move, the girl’s breasts are just shaking all over the place! Damn it, I need to get away quickly, or else…

“Nakuru? What are you doing?” A sharp and resentful voice rang out.

Immediately after, the glasses fanatic was blown off with a squeaky ‘Ahnn!?’ voice. It seems like she got kicked by that previous voice.

“Seriously, we’re busy enough already, so do your work alr—” Mid-sentence, the girl in her purple swimsuit blinked in confusion, as she looked at me.

These twintails hanging down her side, there’s no mistaking it…

“…Stupid chicken. What are you doing here?”

“…That’s my phrase.”

That’s right, this is Usami Masamune, who just kicked away the glasses junkie Nakuru, now giving me a dumbfounded gaze.

 

“Nya? Nii-san? Why are you here?”

“…Yo, Kureha.”

We were inside the beach house. Sitting around the table were Masamune, Nakuru, and me, as Kureha called out to me with a ‘Nyaha, that looks fun’. She wore the same red bikini she had worn at the leisure land a while back, still fitting her body physique, which would surely please a small group of people in this world. Though, that fact is probably a massive complex for the person in question, and I’d probably get killed if I mentioned that.

When I asked why the handicrafts club was here and not on that deserted island as originally planned, they told me that…apparently they failed to sneak onto that carriage ship. According to what Masamune told me, they moved with the truck, but these three were the only guys who got caught, and barely managed to escape before getting arrested. They’re as crazy as always. Soon enough, they’ll get casted as actors.

“The club president took care of our luggage, so we had to contact them via satellite transmission, but it seems like they safely managed to infiltrate the destination. Though, they can’t come to pick us up.”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“So that’s why you’re working part-time here to earn money?”

“It’s so that we can get home. I said I was fine trying it again, but both Usamin-senpai and NaruNaru said ‘No more smuggling’.”

“Well duh.”

Looking over, Masamune and Nakuru were quivering in fear, with pale expressions, as they probably remembered the incident. I bet it must have turned into a trauma. By the way, the reason Nakuru couldn’t figure out it was me was simply because ‘You weren’t wearing your glasses’. As a result of that, the second I washed my glasses and put them on, she immediately realized.

“Hey, stupid chicken. Please, treat us to something. We’re starving.”

“…I don’t mind, but you better pay me back later, alright?”

Going along with Masamune’s request, I ordered 3x yakisoba. Apparently their contract said that they couldn’t eat anything until their shift was over. What a hard working condition this is.

“By the way, Nii-san.” There, my little sister spoke up. “Why are you here? Weren’t you supposed to be travelling with Onee-sama and Subaru-sama?”

“!”

…Crap. Kureha knew about me going on that trip. Ahhh, how can I explain things. Saying it how things are is a bit too complicated. After all, Suzutsuki and I are supposed to be fiancees right now.

“…Onee-sama? Did you have an older sister?” Masamune asked with a dubious expression.

“Eh? No, Usamin-senpai, Onee-sama refers to Nii-san’s classmate Suzutsuki-senpai.”

“…What?” There, Masamune’s face froze up.

Then, she turned her gaze towards me, stiff like a robot.

“What is this about? Why are you on a trip with a girl in your class? Not to mention…that very Suzutsuki Kanade?”

“Well, that’s…”

The second Suzutsuki’s name popped up, Masamune’s mood clearly took a dip. Maybe they really are on bad terms? Either way, this is bad. I need to come up with a way to get out of this situation soon, or else…

“Hm?”

As I was thinking that, the phone in my pocket vibrated. Worst of all, it was from Konoe Subaru. She must be worried because I was taking my time coming back.

“Ah, seems to be a call from Subaru-sama, I see.”

“!?”

Nakuru frivolously took a peek at my phone screen, to which the gazes of the girls pierced me. I immediately sought to escape this pressure, and accepted the call.

‘Hello, Jirou?’

“Y-Yo, Konoe. What’s up.”

‘You ask me that…What happened? You’re taking pretty long just to buy some drinks.’

“W-Well, something happened, see~”

‘Hm? Whatever, we’re on our way now.’

“Why!?”

‘Why do you ask that…It’s time to eat lunch now.’

“D-Don’t come here! It’s a trap!”

‘What are you on about!?’

“A-Anyway, don’t you dare come here!”

‘Even if you suddenly say that…it’s too late.’

“Too late?”

‘I mean, we’re already at the place.’

“Waaaaaaaaaah!”

Konoe must have been surprised at my shout, as the call was cut…Oh lord, this is bad. Right now, Konoe is looking like a girl. Even with these girls, they’ll realize what’s going on…namely that Subaru-sama is actually a girl…!

“Huh? Isn’t that Onee-sama over there?”

Urk…

“Ah, you’re right. They’re in front of the store.”

Eeek!

“But, who’s that with her? I can’t really see them from here—”

“I-I’ll go bring them here!” I screamed, and dashed outside, aiming directly for Konoe Subaru.

I definitely cannot let them run into her here. I can only come up with a way to hide it…!

“What’s wrong, Jirou? Why are you panicking like that?”

Luckily, both Konoe and Suzutski hadn’t fully entered yet. Their bodies were still a bit wet from swimming just now. This is a chance. I can still make it. With these thoughts, I reached for that. If I can just make her wear that…!

“…Konoe, listen to me.” I didn’t waste much time explaining. “Please wear these immediately.”

“These…you mean these glasses?” Konoe looked at the thin-frame glasses in my hand.

These were the glasses Nakuru tried to push on me just now. I happened to pick them up on a whim after Nakuru got kicked by Masamune, so I can use them now. They don’t seem to be too strong, so it should be fine. Basically, I want to use this as a disguise. You might think it’s way too easy to see through, but the only way I can see things working out here is to act like she’s a different person. If someone has a different idea, put that on an online forum or DM it to me.

“Please! This is for your sake!”

“I don’t mind, but…are you into this sort of thing, Jirou?”

“Why are you suddenly blushing like that!?”

“B-Because…” Subaru-sama was at a loss of a reaction.

Ahh, just hurry up already. We can’t waste any more time like this…

“Nii-san? What are you doing?”

Eeeek! When I looked behind me, there stood Kureha. It seems like she came running after me.

“Jeez, why are you suddenly running away like that…Wait, eh?”

Right there, Kureha froze up like she was buried in concrete, her eyes wide open. Naturally, she was looking directly at—

“K-Konoe-senpai? W-Why are you looking like that?”

“Ah…T-This is…”

Because of Kureha’s sudden appearance, Konoe ended up pale in an instant. However, those glasses shone on her face, so the disguise is complete…Well, if you can call glasses a disguise. Now it only depends on Konoe, if only she can properly explain herself…

“Y-Y-Y-You’re wrong there is a proper reason for this that you probably don’t understand and…”

…It’s over. These words filled my head. She can’t even properly talk, just rambling on and on. Konoe alone can’t make her way out of this. Please, can’t someone else guess what I’m playing at…A kind individual who would never use me for her own pleasure…

“What are you talking about, Kureha-chan?” There, a dignified voice spoke up.

Looking over, Suzutsuki had called out to Kureha.

“That’s not Subaru.”

“Eh? B-But, she looks exactly like Subaru-sama just with his hair down and glasses on…”

“Indeed. However, she is his cousin, and lives around here. Have you forgotten that Subaru is a boy? There’s no way this could be him.”

“T-That might be true, but then…what about Konoe-senpai?”

“He’s currently meeting her relatives living here. Instead of him, this girl is tagging along. Then again, she’s not my butler or anything.” She explained with a calm voice as usual, lining up lie after lie.

That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you. She grasped the situation in an instant. And, she executed a follow-up so awfully well, it’s giving me chills. She’s reaching Las Vegas casino card dealer levels right there. But…thank god. I guess even that teasing rich lady knows when the situation is serious. That’s right, she wouldn’t use this situation to…

“By the way, her name is—Punyuru.”

“…What?”

Konoe, Kureha, and me all let out a dumbfounded voice.

“That’s this girl’s name. Takanashi Punyuru. Takanashi is her mother’s name. It’s modern and cute, right?” Suzutsuki smiled gently.

Look how much fun she’s having right now! Why’d you give her such a weird name like ‘Punyuru’!? That’s just taking it too far. You won’t find anybody with such an eccentric name. There’s no way Kureha will believe you…

“Huh, Punyuru-san, is it. What a cute name!”

She actually believed it!? My little sister is too much of an idiot! Or so I’d like to retort, but I can’t blame her. She admired Suzutsuki as her ‘Onee-sama’ after all. Recently, she believes more in what Suzutsuki says than my own words. That’s why this result might be expected. At the very least, we made it past the first hurdle. All that’s left is to take care of Masamune and Nakuru…

“…Ah, Kureha-chan.”

There, Suzutsuki let out a snicker, like she just came up with something exciting. You’re kidding, right? She’s still not done?

“I forgot to tell you, but you don’t need to add the ‘san’ to her name.”

“Eh? Does that mean…”

“That’s right, she’s a fellow first-year student like you. By the way, we’re very close, so she calls me ‘Kana-oneechan’, you know.”

“…!?” Konoe’s body twitched in shock.

“What’s wrong, Punyuru. Since you’re not my butler, you don’t need to call me ‘Young lady’, nor would it be natural for you to use polite speech, right?”

“~~~!”

“Just call me as you usually would. Come on, say ‘Kana-oneechan’.”

“~~~~~~!” I could see steam rising from Konoe’s head.

I don’t blame her, this must be a first for her. If I had to guess, Suzutsuki’s goal is to be on equal terms with Konoe, wanting to be treated as her friend. After all, right now they are master and butler. Konoe will always be more considerate of her. Still, she really is using everything she can at her disposal, huh. Then again, she probably just wants to be called ‘Onee-chan’ in a fresh way, I guess.

“Urk…Ka…Ka…” Konoe…No, Takanashi Punyuru started fidgeting, and slowly opened her mouth. “…Kana-oneechan.”

“…!? H-Hey, Suzutsuki!?”

Suddenly, Suzutsuki collapsed like a doll that had its strings cut.

She crouched down on the floor, muttering ‘I-I think I just awakened a dangerous monster…!’, like a scientist who just scientifically created a monster on his operating table. It seems like she almost lost consciousness because of the cuteness. What a terrifying being Takanashi Punyuru is. To think she could corner Suzutsuki Kanade like this…!

“By the way, Punyuru will call Jirou-kun ‘Jirou-oniichan’ as well.”

“!?”

She must have felt frustrated to be the only one who collapsed like that, as she next aimed for me. Please, if Konoe were to say that right now…!

“~~~!” Konoe bit on her lip in embarrassment, and muttered with a voice about to disappear. “…Jirou-oniichan.”

“—!”

Ahh, I get it. I was probably born to hear these words out of her mouth. The normal tongue-tied and indifferent Subaru-sama…just called me Onii-chan. What kind of straight ball to the heart is that. That’s a guaranteed strike.

“…Senpai, why are you taking a knee while grinning like that?” A worried voice came from Nakuru as she looked down at me.

Even Masamune was with her, maybe they came looking because they were worried?

“Ah, let me introduce you, NaruNaru. This girl is Konoe-senpai’s cousin, Takanashi Punyuru-chan. She’s the same year as me it seems.”

“Subaru-sama’s cousin? Not to mention those glasses…” Nakuru closed in on Konoe, closely inspecting her glasses.

Ah, I forgot. The glasses Konoe is wearing right now originally belong to her, so maybe she’s catching on?

“—Excellent.”

Nope, nevermind. Nakuru just put her hands together like the Holy Mother Maria, and nodded.

“Hello, Punyuru-chan! Nakuru’s name is Narumi Nakuru! And, your glasses look great on you!” Being openly excited, Nakuru asked for a handshake with glasses-style Konoe.

She’s showing absolutely no doubts towards Kureha’s statement. She’s an idiot. She’s an even bigger moron than Kureha. She’s only looking at the glasses in fact.

“But, why is Punyuru-chan wearing Nakuru’s spare glasses?”

“A-Ah, when she was swimming just now, they got washed away, so I lent her yours.”

“Is that so.” Nakuru nodded.

“She’s got quite the looks, so it was hard finding the right pair for her!” I pointed at Konoe’s glasses, and panicked as I was praising her like a mother would before a marriage.

…Well, whatever. I don’t know what kind of weird brain that glasses junkie has working up there, but at the very least, she seems to believe the existence of Takanashi Punyuru. That’s the second obstacle mastered. All that was left…was the final defence line, known as Usami Masamune. Knowing that nasty rabbit, she’ll probably have a hard battle…

“N-N-N-Nice to meet you, Punyuru-chan.”

To my surprise, Masamune awkwardly greeted Punyuru…Huh? No, that’s not the case. Masamune hates lying to others, and can’t easily put trust into others…And yet, she would so easily believe our words…?

“Hey, stupid chicken.” Masamune quietly whispered into my ear. “Why are you lying like that?”

“!? You realized…!?”

“Of course. Takanashi Punyuru? That’s definitely Subaru-sama wearing glasses. You thought you could deceive me with that?” Masamune declared with confidence.

…How could this happen…To think the day would come where someone figured out Konoe’s secret…Damn it, I should have come up with a better method of hiding it, I’m sorry Konoe…

“But…I’ll play along for now.”

I didn’t expect to hear these words from her.

“Everybody has their own secrets, and I don’t plan on judging other people with their interests. But…this is a shock.”

“Um…what exactly?”

“Huh? I’m talking about Subaru-sama’s crossdressing hobby. He was wearing female clothes back in April at the game center as well, right. Those breasts are mostly pads, I bet. The part where you lied about dating Subaru-sama was to protect that secret, right?”

“……”

Luckily, Masamune arrived at a misunderstanding herself. Luckily, the swimsuit Konoe wore didn’t emphasize her breasts that much, and with the skirt-type swimsuit, her crotch was hidden as well…I guess. Basically, Masamune thinks that Konoe Subaru is crossdressing as a girl, named Takanashi Punyuru. That’s what I expected, she’s even doubting Suzutsuki.

“But, this is pretty amazing. He totally looks like a girl. Not to mention…so cute…I can’t help but feel nervous when talking to him.”

“Huh? Didn’t you get over Konoe on the day after the school festival?”

“I-I did, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get nervous. He still is the prince of our school, so we’re on a different level. That’s enough for now, right?”

“Enough for now…”

“After all, I have a different problem.” Masamune’s gaze suddenly turned sharp, focusing on—Suzutsuki Kanade.

Even despite that, Suzutsuki kept a calm smile.

“Hello, Usami-san, you’re here as well?”

“Hmpf. Wasn’t planning on it at least. What about you? Why are you on a trip with that stupid chicken?”

“No particular reason? It’s my right to go on a trip with whoever I want, right. Still, to think that you would come to the sea of all places, I always expected more from a scholarship student.”

“I’m not studying all the time, you know. What about you? Think you can just play around now that you got the top spot on the last end-of-term exams?”

“Fufu, thank you for your kindness. But, rest assured. I can easily get those grades without studying much.”

“Grrr…Y-You…getting on a high horse just because you always win against me…!”

“Eh? Really? I had no idea.”

“~~~! So shameless…!”

Masamune started glaring at Suzutsuki with tears in her eyes, to which the rich lady herself just accepted this with a warm smile. Yeah, it seems like these two really aren’t on the greatest of terms. We have an average citizen and a rich lady, a nasty rabbit and a wolf woman. Their compatibility couldn’t be worse. However, a scholarship student?

“Jirou-oniichan…No, Jirou, I remembered. That Usami is actually the only scholarship student at our school right now.” Konoe must have felt my doubts, as she whispered in my ear.

Still, I’m a bit disappointed she’s calling me like always.

“If you can get the top rank at the entrance exams at our Rouran Academy, and keep that level up down the line as well, you basically get all your student fees paid, right? That’s what it means to be a scholarship student. And, she was at the top of last year’s entrance exam.”

“Oh yeah, I heard something like that.”

Since it didn’t have anything to do with me, I just forgot. Also, Masamune is…? Maybe she’s studying hard so that she doesn’t have to pay for the student fees. Thinking about her saving policy, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

“But, getting the top spot at the entrance exam is pretty amazing. She even beat you and Suzutsuki, right?”

Suzutsuki and Konoe are both quite the honor students. Every single exam, they’re always at the top spot not missing once.

“Well, there was a particular reason for that…We never took the entrance exam.”

“You never…what? Why?”

“T.-That’s…” Konoe grew silent, signaling that it was hard to say.

Oh yeah, I heard about them using their connections before, since Suzutsuki’s the board chairman’s daughter, and Konoe her butler.

“But, ever since we started attending this school, that girl has always been losing against the young lady. Even though she’s a scholarship student. That’s why she sees her as a rival, or so the young lady told me before.”

“…Huh.”

Well, I feel like that’s not the only reason they’re on such hostile terms. No clue why, but it feels like Suzutsuki seems to hold a grudge towards Masamune as well. This of course is a rare thing for such an honor student that she was. Either way, as Konoe and I were discussing these things in secret, sparks continued to fly between Masamune and Suzutsuki.

“Tell me, why are you together with that stupid chicken?”

“Are you that interested in Jirou-kun?”

“N-Not at all! Definitely not! I’m just curious why a rich lady like you would travel with some average guy like him!”

“Jirou-kun and I are friends, so isn’t that normal?”

“It’s not normal at all! That stupid chicken and I are friends as well!” Like a cornered rabbit, Masamune protested with tears in her eyes.

Hmm…the power relationship is a thing to behold here…Then again, I have yet to meet anybody who can actually stand their ground against that rich lady. Also, why is Masamune so hung up on the fact that I’m travelling with Suzutsuki?

“…Alright, it can’t be helped. I’ll tell you the truth.” There, Suzutsuki suddenly showed a more serious expression. “He is my fiancee.” She blurted out with no hesitation.

“Wha…!?” In response, Masamune froze up. “A-As if I’d just believe that! What are you talking about!”

“It’s not a lie. He and I are in the middle of our elopement.”

“Elopement!?”

“By the way, we also sleep in the same room at the inn.”

“I-In the same room…Don’t tell me…!”

“That’s right, we slept together last night.”

“Wha…”

“Did you know? He actually has quite awful sleeping habits.”

“~~~!” Masamune blushed furiously, reaching the level of a ripe apple.

That damn Suzutsuki, she’s trying to win with her nonsense again. I didn’t expect she’d continue the lie all the way out here. Also, that seemed to work awfully well against Masamune.

“Huh? NaruNaru, you okay?”

When I turned towards Kureha’s voice, I found another person who suffered a lethal wound because of Suzutsuki’s statement. Namely, Narumi Nakuru, who firmly believed in the BL relationship that I had with Konoe. Surprisingly enough, she stood still with her mouth open, but not moving an inch. She seemed to have passed out while standing, looking like Musashibou Benkei2. Still, Kureha is as relaxed as ever, I see. Then again, she was told similar nonsense back in April, so maybe she built up some resistance?

However, the same couldn’t be said about Masamune. Maybe I should provide some follow-up after all? I really don’t want people I know to think that I’m engaged to Suzutsuki..

“…That’s a lie.”

However, Masamune declared so with tears in her eyes.

“A lie? Are you accusing me of lying?”

“Y-Yes, I am.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know why, but…it’s my woman’s intuition!” Masamune must have felt pressure from Suzutsuki’s words, and teared up even further.

…But even so, Masamune didn’t attempt to apologize.

“The fact about you sleeping in the same room might be true, but…being engaged…There’s no way you and that stupid chicken are in a relationship like that. There must be another reason for that, right?”

“Now, who knows.”

“That won’t do, Suzutsuki Kanade. I don’t believe you at all. You always had the tendency to make up convenient lies, and although that might work with the people at the school, you won’t deceive me with that…” She paused for a moment. “Your nonsense won’t work with me.” She declared, while glaring at Suzutsuki.

“…Hmm.” Suzutsuki calmly muttered. “It seems like I’m not very good at dealing with you, Usami-san.”

“Wha…I-I knew it! Everything just now was just your nonsense, right!”

“You were questioning that?”

“O-Of course not! I knew that from the very start!” Masamune puffed out her chest as her twintails shook.

I’m surprised. Usami Masamune saw right through Suzutsuki’s nonsensical blabbering. Also, a woman’s intuition…What’s that? She probably just became even more doubtful than normal. But, that’s that nasty rabbit for you. I didn’t think she would stand face to face with Suzutsuki.

“But…what will you do with that?”

“…Eh?” Masamune’s victorious smile froze up.

“What will you do, finding out? I’ve been meaning to ask, but where will you be staying for tonight?”

“That’s…we haven’t decided on that yet…” Masamune’s voice grew weaker.

I see, they’re basically stranded here. At this rate, they won’t even have a place to stay tonight.

“Really? Sounds troublesome. By the way, we are staying at a nearby hot spring inn.”

“Urk…”

“Of course, together with Jirou-kun.”

“Uuuuu…”

“If you’re okay with it, why don’t you join us? Though I have to say, the inn we stay at is quite luxurious, so the price is something I need to mention.”

“U-Urk…Y-Yeah, sleeping out is something I want to avoid, but…”

“Rest assured, I’m not some devil. As a fellow girl, I wouldn’t want you to camp outside, so if you were to listen to my request, I wouldn’t mind letting you stay over…How about that?”

“A request…what exactly?”

“On your knees.”

“Huuh!?”

“Of course, bare naked while only wearing kneesocks.”

“What kind of lewd roleplay is that?!”

“Just kidding. Don’t take it too seriously, will you.”

“Don’t give me that! You were dead serious about that!”

“Of course not. But, any normal request would be boring, so maybe I should make it a cute one instead.”

“A…a cute request?”

“Please, boing, Kanade-sama! Let me stay over at your inn today, boing!’, maybe?”

“What is that ‘boing’ supposed to mean?!”

“Isn’t it cute, Usagi-san?”

“It’s Usami! I’m not a rabbit!”

“Ah, do a proper rabbit pose as well while you’re at it.”

“~~~! S-So this is who you really are…!”

“Now everyone, let us watch Usami-san say these embarrassing words in the middle of a crowded beach, with a bikini and lewd pose.”

“N-Nooooooo~!” Masamune started tearing up again.

…This isn’t good. She chose the wrong enemy there. Suzutsuki Kanade isn’t a demon. She’s the devil reincarnated.

“Urk…” Masamune bit her lip, and… “P-Please, boing, Kanade-sama! Let me stay over at your inn today, boing!”

In the end, she went along with Suzutsuki’s request. Her face was red from the shame and embarrassment, as she put both her hands on her head, forming rabbit ears. Honestly speaking, it looked so different from her usual, it was actually pretty adorable, but if I said that out loud, I’d probably be kicked.

“Thank you, Usami-san. I’ll let you stay over tonight.”

“Y-You better remember this, Suzutsuki Kanade. I’ll study even more, and definitely beat you during the next exams!”

“Oh, that reminds me. Why won’t the other two stay over as well. The more the merrier, as they say.”

“Yay! Thanks, Onee-sama!”

“Are you listening to me!? Also, why aren’t you making them do anything!?”

“Fufu, seems like it’ll be noisy tonight.”

“Listen to other people!”

Suzutsuki smiled gently, Kureha got excited, Masamune was gritting her teeth in anger, Nakuru was still frozen and stiff, and Konoe was unsure of what to do in her new persona as Takanashi Punyuru…Well, just as Suzutsuki said, things will surely get more noisy tonight. Not to mention that it’s all cute girls. Of course, it’s not like I was secretly in joy over the creation of my own harem. I was just thinking that with so many girls around, it’ll surely help with my gynophobia. Though, I have this vague feeling that it’ll only make things worse…

“—It pains me to say it, but the fun is over now.”

Suddenly, I heard a husky voice with no warning whatsoever. We all turned towards the voice, only to find a large man with a butler uniform unbefitting of the location and time—

“I’ve come to pick you up, Kanade-ojousama.” It was Konoe Nagare, the other butler of the Suzutsuki Family.

He gave this harsh comment, as she pushed up his glasses, and lowered his head in a polite way.

1 A Detective Conan reference

2 Reference to an old story about Musashibou Benkei and Minamoto no Yoshitsune.

Chapter 2 - Beachside Baby

“Good morning, Jirou-kun. How are you feeling?”

The moment I opened my eyes, I heard a dignified voice. When my eyes finally focused, I saw the smile of a certain rich lady—Suzutsuki Kanade. She was looking directly at my face.

“………”

Well, I guessed as much.

“…Suzutsuki-san, can I ask one thing?”

“What might that be, Jirou-kun?” She smiled gently.

I took a deep breath, and continued.

“…Why are you looking like that?”

“Eh? What’s wrong with it? Does it not look good?”

“No, that’s clearly not the problem here.”

The rich lady grinned with a teasing smile—while wearing a yukata. It looked like the type you wore in an inn or hotel, and seeing a rich lady wear such commoner clothing creates a large gap, but I don’t even feel the energy to get excited over that. What even happened? Last I remember, I accepted a sports drink from Konoe beneath the scorching sun, and…

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to use such fierce methods.”

“So you were the one who planned all of that!”

“It’s fine, the medicine wasn’t that strong.”

“That’s the problem!?”

“It worked about as well as that certain detective’s arm clock tranquilizer gun1.”

“It worked perfectly, yeah!”

“There is always only one truth.”

“Shut up! This ain’t the time to act cool with his catchphrase!”

“However, you are a bit off with something, Jirou-kun.”

“Huh?”

“It didn’t exactly work perfectly.” Suzutsuki pointed at the clock inside the room.

…Wait a second, that’s weird. The arms of the clock are pointing towards 7 in the morning…Don’t tell me!

“It actually worked a bit too perfectly, see.”

“Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!?”

“I was worried, you know? You wouldn’t wake up at all.”

“Now I should actually call for a private detective!”

“There is always only one truth.”

“You’re the criminal!”

“I didn’t have any bad intentions, okay. Also, you must have been lacking some sleep as well, right? A few days ago, you pulled an all-nighter, right?”

“Urk…”

Just as she said, that day I spent with Kurose playing games all night. Maybe that’s why the medicine worked so well. But, why does she even…No, better not think about it too deeply. What’s more important right now…

“So, what exactly is going on, dear Suzutsuki-san?”

“Fufu, I’m glad you’re quick to switch. You’re quite positive I see, Jirou-kun.” The young lady smiled as her black twintails swayed in a breeze.

Don’t underestimate me. I always try to keep positive thinking ongoing during my day. If not, then I wouldn’t have survived in that hellish family.

“But, don’t you understand after looking around?”

“I mean, this seems to be some inn or whatever, but beyond that…”

You’re wearing a yukata. Looking around, this room looks like a large Japanese place, filled with the scent of tatami mats. From the open window, a faint salty sea breeze entered the room, and—Wait, hold on. Sea breeze? Don’t tell me…

“You finally realized? This is a certain hot spring inn near the sea.”

“H-Hot spring inn?”

“By the way, this inn is connected to my family. Not to mention that we’ve rented the entire place. What do you think? Shocking, right?”

“…Rather than shocking…”

Why even this place? Near the sea…a hot spring inn…That’s almost like we’re on a trip. Oh yeah, Konoe mentioned something like that…Something about ‘Let’s run away together’.

“There is a proper reason for this.” Suzutsuki started explaining. “I ran away from home.”

“Huuuh!?”

“I ran away from home. I got in a fight with my parents.”

“A fight…”

“They said that we should go on a trip overseas during this summer break. They ignored my opinion, so I boycotted. Of course, together with Subaru.”

“…Huh, really now.”

Wait, this isn’t the time to simply accept that. Since she ran away from home…that’s pretty much the same as Konoe during Golden Week. I don’t know the concrete details, but maybe they’re just in their rebellious phase. Even so—something feels off. I mean, she’s still taking a trip right now. Did she hate the idea of going overseas that much? Why is a hot spring inn so much better…

“I mean, you’d hate it if people just decided things for you, right? This is my precious once in a lifetime summer break, so I want to enjoy it the way I prefer.”

“No no no no, didn’t you literally decide my plans right now?”

“I was worried to only have girls with me on this trip.”

“Even so…Konoe’s plenty, right?”

As a butler, she’s trained in self-defence, and is pretty strong. She could even win against Kureha, and since Kureha bested an Asian black bear before, I doubt any average person could stand their ground against Konoe.

“Well, the biggest reason is…a training camp.”

“Training camp?”

“That’s right, a training camp solely focussed on fixing your gynophobia. Don’t worry, I properly came up with a plan, so we’ll deal with it during this summer.” The rich lady flashed a gentle smile.

She’s clearly out to just play around with me, right. If I had to guess, she pulled me along because she saw another chance to tease me again. Am I some board game you can just take with you anywhere?

“Before coming here, we stopped by your house, and had Kureha-chan prepare a change of clothes for you, so don’t worry.”

“Huh, aren’t you considerate. Well, going on a trip once in a while won’t hurt, I guess.”

You might think that I’m taking this a bit too well despite it being so abrupt, but I just learned that complaining about the same stuff over and over won’t get you anywhere. It must be something I learned thanks to my family’s environment. Since I’m on a trip already, I might as well. Not to mention that it’s a luxurious hot spring inn near the sea, I won’t get many more chances to visit these kinds of places.

“Alright, I’ll tag along with you. Also, I wanna change my clothes, so could you take me to my room?”

If what she’s saying is true, then I’ve been wearing the same clothes ever since yesterday, so I want to quickly change into something fresh…However.

“What are you talking about?” Suzutsuki opened her mouth like she was saying something obvious. “This is our room.”

“…Wha?”

Timeout, timeout, eh? What, so that means…

“Fufufu.”

I froze up because of the shock, to which Suzutsuki’s cheeks turned a faint red.

“Jirou-kun, you got more than you show.”

“!”

“You ended up being quite well-trained. Have you been training on the side recently?”

“W-Wait a second, Suzutsuki. Why do you know such personal information about me?”

“Eh? Do I really need to say that?” Suzutsuki put her index finger on her own lips with a teasing smile, and. “Ahahaha.”

“Don’t cover it up with a laugh! W-What were you doing while I was asleep!? And without my consent even!”

“Your mouth can say whatever you want, but your body is quite honest.”

“Seriously?!”

“You can let out quite the adorable voice, Jirou-kun.”

“Nooooooo!?”

“Fufu, just kidding. You don’t need to take everything so seriously.”

“……”

“Well, the fact of us sharing this room is the truth though.”

“I really wish that part was you just kidding as well!”

Ahhhhh this devil! Normally I’d be above the clouds in excitement to sleep in the same room as a girl, but we’re talking about Suzutsuki Kanade. She will definitely pull off some sick joke when I’m asleep. Like stripping me naked.

“Also, why are we sleeping in the same room?”

“There’s also a proper reason for that. We wouldn’t have been able to reserve this inn otherwise.”

Suddenly, Suzutsuki closed the distance between us, coming close enough that I could feel her breath.

“Would you like to know?”

“W-What exactly?”

“The reason we needed to stay in the same room. It’s related to the title of this inn.”

“Title?”

“Running away. Elopement. You heard from Subaru, right? We came here to run away as lovers.”

With a sweet voice like a kitten begging for food, she whispered into my ear.

…This is bad. What kind of situation is this? This is a hot spring inn, a secluded room, with just the two of us, she’s wearing a yukata, on top of a futon…Waaah, such a death match! Not to mention that, because of Suzutsuki’s position, I could see a bit deeper inside her yukata…with…you know, her cleavage and stuff…?

“Hey, Jirou-kun.” Smiling Deretsuki-san approached me.

Waaaah, I can almost touch her! Is this another part of her gynophobia treatment program? If so, then that would be far too forceful. What if that crossdressing butler saw us right here? I won’t make it out of here alive, and…Wait? Where is Konoe anyway?

“Young lady, the breakfast has been prepared.” An alto voice passed through the Japanese room.

Looking over, Subaru-sama was wearing a yukata as well, and stood next to the door.

“Thank you, Subaru. Then, let’s go, shall we. We have plans to head to the sea today, and tomorrow, there will be a summer festival. With all these events going on, we need to properly eat and regain energy.” Suzutsuki said, and moved away from me.

“O-Okay.” I muttered, and stood up.

It seems like Konoe didn’t think much when witnessing that just now. Well, that makes sense. I’m the weird guy who got all self-conscious in that situation after all.

“…Jirou.”

Right after I was about to leave the room, Konoe called out to me in a voice only I could pick up.

“R-Right now…w-w-w-were you about to kiss the young lady…?”

“……”

Calm down, calm down. She’s got the wrong idea, so clear it up.

“W-While I’m gone, you two…on a futon even…”

“C-Calm down, that’s no way that would happen, okay.”

“B-But, your faces were so close, and…”

“That was just Suzutsuki teasing me again, alright.”

That had to have been it. After all, she confessed to me at the school festival just as a joke.

“Also, there’s no way we’d just kiss like that, right?”

Or so I say, but Suzutsuki and I kissed already. I really want to forget about it. It was probably just another prank of hers.

“…R-Right.” Konoe listened to my words, and started blushing like she was embarrassed about something.

…Hm? What’s that reaction for? O-Oh right, Konoe and I also kissed before…huh. However, that was an accident and nothing more. Konoe had to do that in order to save me from drowning, but ever since that was revealed, Konoe would start blushing like a ripe tomato as soon as that story comes up. Seems to be memories she can’t forget even if she wanted to.

I might be relatively calm while analyzing this, but since these are memories I never even experienced, and it was necessary to save my life, I can’t tell if it’s a blessing in disguise or not. However, that wasn’t the case for Konoe, understandably…

“Come on, let’s go eat breakfast ourselves.” I said, in an attempt to fix this awkward atmosphere.

“…Yeah.” After a brief silence, Konoe joined in, and followed after me.

Well, once we’re done eating lunch, things will be better, surely. The two of us stepped out into the hallway, and followed Suzutsuki. Hmmm, this sure is a flashy inn, alright. It’s crazy enough they might recommend it in a travel guide book. Being able to rent this entire thing…is no joke.

I glanced at the pamphlet they offered in the hallway, and as expected, this is pretty far away from our place…Wait? Isn’t this near the inn Kureha and the others went to? Then again, they went to a deserted island, so running into them is very unlikely.

“…Hm?”

Something caught my attention. Why is the pretense of this trip ‘Elopement’? And why was that necessary in order to rent this inn?

“Hey, Konoe, what is the goal of this trip?” I asked the butler walking next to me, only to get back a baffled ‘Eh?’.

“The goal…you didn’t hear from the young lady?”

“Only that us being on elopement or something was necessary in order to rent this inn, but that’s about it. Also, is the reason for this trip really just Suzutsuki’s selfishness?”

“…Hm.” For some reason, Konoe averted her gaze.

Excuse me, but what kind of reaction is that? Is it that hard to say? We both just ended up silent, and walked along the hallway next to each other.

“Oh my, good morning.” A woman wearing Japanese clothing appeared.

She might be the proprietress of this inn. Age-wise, it would fit.

“You must be…Sakamachi-sama, I take it. Nice to meet you, I am the proprietress of this inn, Yugawara.” The woman introducing herself as such lowered her head.

Since this was mere politeness, I did the same. Since this inn is connected to the Suzutsuki Family, they probably know each other?

“Thank you very much for choosing this inn.”

“No, I’m just tagging along, nothing more.”

Hmm, talking to her is a bit nerve wracking. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to it. Still, she sure is polite. I was practically just dragged along here, so there’s no need to be this considerate.

“By the way, Sakamachi-sama.” Yugawara-san suddenly moved closer to me, whispering. “Naturally, tonight’s bath will be mixed bathing, I assume?”

“……”

Now hold your damn horses. What did she just say?

“Rest assured. Normally we would not offer such special service, but we know that Kanade-ojousama and Sakamachi-sama are staying over, so we are willing to provide a bit extra.”

Because of this sudden impact hitting my body, I froze up. Yugawara-san however didn’t mind that, and continued. The hell is wrong with her? Why is she trying to be considerate now? Do you have some shut-in son you’re caring for? This is weird. Something doesn’t make sense here. This is almost like Suzutsuki and I really ran away in an elopement…

“Still, we were quite shocked to hear the news from Kanade-ojousama.” The proprietress Yugawara-san let out a fulfilled ‘Ohohoho’ laugh, like she was a housewife talking about some celebrity scandal. “To think that Kanade-ojousama would be this bold.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Isn’t that right, Sakamachi Kinjirou-sama? Or should I already get used to calling you Suzutsuki Kinjirou-sama? It must be hard having sworn your hands in marriage to each other, but being forced to elope as you aren’t being accepted by the people around you. However, rest assured. We are your allies here, and will support you no matter what.”

 

“That was the only option I had in order for them to let us stay here, okay.”

Right after we finished eating breakfast. Naturally, I didn’t wait another minute to squeeze out the meaning behind the proprietress’ words. Of course, we weren’t standing in the inn from before, but instead outside, where the salty sea breeze hit us. We were currently moving towards a swimming area close to the coast. The one carrying all the luggage was me, of course. From sheets to beach umbrellas, I was carrying quite a bit.

“If I said that I was just running away from home, they might have contacted the main family, and had them take me back, don’t you agree?”

“That doesn’t mean you can just make up nonsense about us having promised to marry each other…”

“Isn’t it fine? Thanks to that, we don’t have to pay for the inn.”

“You’re not wrong, but…”

To think she just announced us as fiancees. Makes sense why we’d stay in the same room. Rather than elopement, this is like a honeymoon.

“Also, if we didn’t do that, then something troublesome would have happened, right, Subaru?”

“Y-Young lady…!” Because of Suzutsuki’s words, Konoe started panicking.

“After all, the people working at that inn don’t know that Subaru is a girl. Only the people living in the Suzutsuki Residence know of that fact.”

“So why is that so problematic?”

“Splitting up the rooms, you know. Normally they would put the two men in a group, and the woman in a room of her own.”

“Ahh, I see.”

Separating men and women, I see. Basically, it would have ended with me and Konoe in the same room. I could see Konoe panicking in embarrassment. That’s how we all three ended up in the same room, huh.

“Two fiancees, and their servant, all three of them on the run in elopement. It’s a bit forceful, but now it won’t be suspicious that we all stay in the same room.”

“It feels like we’re on a school trip.”

Then again, a single guy in a room with two girls is still pretty dangerous. Especially for my sleeping schedule. And no, I’m not thinking about anything weird.

“Apologies, Jirou. It’s not that I hated the idea of sleeping in the same room as you, it’s just…”

“I know, don’t worry about it.”

Konoe might be dressing as a guy, but deep down she still is a girl. It’d be awkward to sleep in the same room as a boy.

“…Oh?”

As we walked along the path next to the sea, a strong marine blue and white beach entered our view. It’s an everlasting summer beach. We’ve made it to our own summer paradise.

“Waaah, amazing!” I was overwhelmed by the scenery in front of me, and let out a dumbfounded comment.

The sparkling sea, the comfortable breeze, the sound of the waves, and the cheerful voices of the other tourists, this was better than I expected. Maybe I should be a bit more thankful that they brought me here.

“Now, let’s have some fun.” It must have been subconsciously done, but even the rich lady’s voice had a bit of excitement in her.

I split up with the two at a nearby changing room with coin lockers, changed into my swimsuit, and walked towards the beach all on my own. Wahoooooooo—is what I was feeling right now. In April we already headed to the leisure land, but the real deal is the best after all. The shining sun, the clear blue sky, the waves crashing, everything is just so authentic, and stimulating. Who could not get excited with this. Alright, better set up the sheet and parasol…

“At least wait for us to change, will you?”

Right as I was entranced by the paradise in front of me, I heard an annoyed voice behind my back. I reflexively turned around—and swallowed my breath. There stood Suzutsuki Kanade, naturally wearing a swimsuit.

“The sea really is great.” The rich lady narrowed her eyes, as she gazed at the open sea.

It’s the same black bikini she wore at the leisure land before. Her proportions really are no joke. It feels like we’re gathering the attention of the people around us a lot more now, so I guess it must be because of Suzutsuki, I bet. Even her gestures made her look like a model currently on a photoshoot.

“P-Please wait, young lady!”

Running after Suzutsuki was the all-too-familiar Butler-kun with her hair down, slightly reddened cheeks, and…Wait? Why is she wearing a bath towel around her body?

“Hm?”

There, I caught on to something crucial. Back at the leisure land, she was changing in the same room as me. Of course, that is because we had Kureha with us, who did not know of her secret. However, Kureha was not around right now. That would mean…possibly…

“Come on, don’t be so embarrassed.” Suzutsuki forcefully pulled the towel off Konoe’s body.

“Hya!” Konoe let out a shriek as her body was revealed.

Unlike the clothes she wore back at the leisure land, these were clearly aimed at women—a bikini. It was a snow white bikini unbefitting of this summer season, and although it didn’t emphasize her chest like Suzutsuki’s, the frilly pareo skirt looked great on her. More than anything, this might be the first time I see Konoe looking so feminine, compared to her usual male attire.

Her white skin, her delicate hands and legs, her revealed collarbone, and even her faintly red cheeks, it’s like I was looking at an entirely different person…

“J-Jirou…how is it? Young lady chose this swimsuit for me.”

“………!” Out of embarrassment, I averted my gaze.

I bet that my face wasn’t feeling hot solely because of the sunlight hitting me.

“Y-Yeah, not bad.” I somehow managed to move my lips, and formed these words.

I sure as hell could think of much better words to compliment her with, but that is the best I could manage.

“T-Thanks…!” Subaru-sama seemed relieved, as she gently smiled.

…Damn it, she’s so cute. I couldn’t even look at her, so I averted my gaze towards the shore. Because we were in the middle of summer break season, the beach was full with tourists. In the midst of these I saw a group doing the melon-splitting game, some guys trying to pick up girls with especially big breasts, and children who were creating a large crater in the sand.

By the way, I actually have no experience when it comes to melon-splitting. At home, they split the melon with a piledriver move, and I was more specialized in actually eating them. Still, what a large watermelon that is. Maybe they would share some with me?

“…Hmpf.”

I heard a displeased voice near me. Looking over, Konoe was closely inspecting my face as I had been looking at the melon-splitting event.

“What’s wrong? What’s that scary face for?”

I mean, rather than a scary face, she looked more like a sulking child, making her look cute than anything. Why is she in such a bad mood now? I was just watching some big-breasted girls doing some big melon-splitting.

“W-Well…” Konoe put her fingers together in front of her chest. “So…I guess…you like bigger ones as well, Jirou?”

“…Bigger ones?”

I mean, the bigger watermelon the better, but why are we talking about that now?

“I mean yeah, I like big ones.”

“Wha…”

When I gave a straight response, Konoe seemingly received a huge shock, as she embraced her chest with both her arms.

“~~~!”

…? Does she like smaller ones instead?

“D-Do you like big ones that much?”

“I mean, they’re more delicious, right?”

“D-Delicious…”

“Easier to bite into as well.”

“Bite into!?”

“…Why are you shocked about that?”

I’m just talking about my preference for watermelons.

“I-I had no idea that you would be so bold as to proudly declare that.”

“Boldly declare…I mean, isn’t that pretty normal?”

“Normal…”

“Even Kureha said ‘I like bigger ones!’, you know?”

“Why would Kureha-chan say such a thing!?” Konoe staggered backwards.

What’s so weird about that? We would often eat watermelons at home. Our relatives grow watermelons themselves, so they would send us a large amount of them every year. Watermelons basically remind me of the summer season.

“I-I had no idea that Kureha-chan had such interests…!”

“Interests? Isn’t that normal in an average family? Are you different?”

“Of course! I’m not like you!”

“Our family all loves them, though.”

“They all love them!?”

“I think I came to like them when I was like 4.”

“At an age when you were still carrying a kindergarten backpack!?”

“Even our relatives would often bring them over.”

“Why!?”

“Huh? To share them, of course.”

“S-Share them?”

“They said ‘We’ve taken great care of them, so please enjoy’.”

“Waaaaaaaah!?” Konoe held her head as she crouched down in despair.

“Scary…Commoner families are scary…!” She muttered, like she had received a severe culture shock.

What is wrong with her? Maybe she’s suffering from a heatstroke? I was planning on explaining the greatness of watermelons to her now.

“…That is some crazy acrobatic conversation you two are having right now.” Suzutsuki let out a sigh, like she understood everything.

Acrobatic? We were just talking about watermelons though?

“Don’t worry, I’ll properly explain everything to Subaru later so that she won’t live on with this misunderstanding.” The rich lady explained with a serious expression.

Next to her was our dear Butler-kun, growing pale as she muttered ‘No way, Kureha-chan is…’ or something like that…Well, whatever. We’re all just excited to stand here in front of the sea.

“Now then, let’s go for a swim, shall we. But, before that…Take care of this, will you.” Suzutsuki handed me some sunscreen cream.

…Hey. Are you telling me to…

“This marks the beginning of the long-awaited treatment program. Won’t you put this on me?”

With a calm and rational tone of voice as always, Suzutuski laid down on the sheet beneath the parasol, and…Gyaaaaaah! Why is she pulling off the string of her bikini top!?

“Y-You!”

“What’s wrong? I feel like this should be a pretty effective treatment method. And, you protect me from the sun, so it’s two birds with one stone, right.”

You’re definitely not wrong, alright. My gaze was drawn towards Suzutsuki’s open back. Soft skin, with a faint sweat building on it, showing not a single pore of impurity, not to mention her behind still covered by the swimsuit, she’s far too defenceless.

“…!”

…This is bad. All of the blood inside my body is going to start boiling.

“T-Then, here I go?” I sat down next to Suzutsuki, and put some sunscreen on my hand.

This is all treatment, so I can only put up with it…!

“Ah, a small reminder, Jirou-kun. If you were to end up with a nosebleed here, you’ll be mistaken as someone suspicious, and probably taken away for life.”

“I-I know that!”

Calm down, me. Be like a machine. All I have to do is put sunscreen on a girl’s back, that’s my job. I want to become a machine. Slowly, my palm reached towards Suzutsuki’s back—

“Hya!”

“Wah!? W-What! Don’t let out a weird voice like that!”

“I mean, it was cold, so…”

“That doesn’t mean you should just let out a voice you normally wouldn’t!”

“How rude. What kind of character am I in your eyes?”

“You sure as hell know that yourself, don’t you!”

“Fufu, I wonder. Ah, do my nape as well, please.”

“Yeah yeah…Urk!?”

“…Are you okay?”

“S-Shut up. I’m trying hard not to get a nosebleed right now.”

“Hmm, are you that excited?”

“M-Moron! As if I’d get gyaaaah!?”

Something cold touched my back, forcing me to let out a shriek. Turning around, sitting there was Konoe Subaru. She was putting sunscreen on my back now.

“Jirou, let me help you with the sunscreen.”

“P-Please, no more…!”

“Also, one question…” Konoe smiled. “—Watermelon-splitting or playing in the sand.”

“Eh?”

“I mean, I was just wondering which you preferred?”

“……”

Crap, her eyes look dead. If I had to guess, she’s probably deciding between splitting my head, or burying me in the sand. She probably thinks I’m laying my hands on her master, right.

“Highya!?”

Despite it being mid-summer, I felt goosebumps all over my body. As expected, you could say. I’m touching Suzutsuki’s bareback, while Konoe is touching my back. Damn it, this undoubtedly can be seen as treatment. It’s like I’m hanging on for life with a single thread, like a doll almost. There’s no knowing when I’m done for.

“Hey, Jirou-kun. Just putting it on normally is boring, so how about we make this a game?” Not knowing of my suffering, Suzutsuki spoke up. “You’ll be writing something on my back, and I have to guess that.”

“G-Got it. You want me to focus on something else during this situation so that my symptoms don’t activate, right?”

“Correct. Go ahead and write something.”

“A-Alright…”

Then again, what should I write? Maybe some random word? For now, I put my index finger on her back.

“…Ahhnn!”

“!? What was that voice just now?”

“I-I’m fine…Your finger just tickled my back, that’s all.”

“R-Really? Then, I’m writing it.”

“Ah…no…s-slower…”

“O-Okay…”

“Hya, no…so fast…and so strong…”

“……”

“Ah…Ah…Ahnn…No…it’s just your finger, and yet…”

“Suzutsuki, you’re doing this on purpose, right?”

“Fufu, you found out already? I figured you’d be happy about this.” She laughed it off.

I figured, she really is in her Deretsuki mode. But, don’t underestimate me. It made my heart race faster, but you haven’t stolen my heart yet.

“…A-Alright.” I somehow managed to finish writing what I wanted onto Suzutsuki’s back.

Everybody knows it, so I don’t think it’s that difficult…

“Eh? You want me to say such obscene words?”

“I knew you’d be twisting the game around like that!”

“But, telling me to say ‘Noo, Jirou-kun, not so fiercely’ is…”

“I didn’t even write anything remotely close to that! Also, Konoe, why are you hammering ‘Kill’ onto my back like that?!”

“…Hmpf.”

“Eek! Stop, don’t wrap your fingers around my neck—!”

On a side note, the words I wrote on Suzutsuki’s back were ‘Omae wa mou shindeiru’. I always wanted to say these words as a man. This might just be unneeded information, but around ten months after Kureha was born, these were her first words apparently. Not bad, I must say.

“Oh? Are you done already?” Suzutsuki sounded oddly dissatisfied.

Like hell I’d continue this for much longer. I’m already running short on breath. It feels like I’m the winner of a tough russian roulette game.

“Urk…”

I feel sick. All this time I was desperately clinging on to my consciousness, so I’m feeling dizzy. It’s almost like I was riding a rollercoaster for hours.

“Fufu, thank you. How about you buy some drinks before we go for a swim, you’re a bit pale in the face.”

“…Yeah, I’ll do that.” I stood up on unsteady feet, and headed to the beach house where we store our belongings.

I would have preferred to go for a swim right away, but if I entered the sea now, I would most likely drown. Even though it was barely noon, the front of the stalls were crowded. I was wondering why that was the case, since this mass of people was weird even for the season, but the irregularity was the service. Listening to the words of the other customers around, apparently there’s girls in swimsuits servicing you. What a great idea that is. As long as it doesn’t violate any rules around here.

“Woah!?”

I lined up behind the crowd of people, when someone bumped into me, making me drop my glasses in the process. Ahh, my glasses are covered in sand now…Better wash it soon…

“Welcome!”

With this, my turn arrived. Hm, can’t help it. I’ll just put the glasses in my swimsuit’s pocket for now. I’ll have to order without them for now.

“…!”

However, when I stood facing the employee, I was at a loss for words. A monster greeted me. Wrapped in an orange bikini were voluptuous breasts. Damn, she might have more than Suzutsuki actually.

“…? Is something wrong?” The girl tilted her head in front of me.

She possessed long, brightly-colored hair. Adding her calm gaze with glasses, her tanned look gave her a more relaxing vibe…But, what’s that on her head?

“…Cat ears?” I muttered.

That’s right, those were undoubtedly cat ears. For some reason, the glasses girl wore cat ears at the beach. Hmm, maybe this is some booming fashion trend? Well, just staring at her would be rude, I guess.

“Hm? You…” The girl closely inspected my face. “You would look great with glasses, yes.”

“………”

I feel like she said something far more rude right there. What even is that supposed to mean? Oh yeah, a girl I recently got to know was saying similar stuff. I wonder what she’s doing right now? Since she’s part of the handicrafts club, she’s probably trying to survive on a deserted island right now.

“However, you probably won’t be able to win against that person.”

“That person?”

“Yes, he’s a Senpai at our school, known as the King of Glasses.”

“Can you say that in front of the person in question? I bet he really dislikes that name.”

“Well, we never called him like that, but I’m sure Sakamachi-senpai wouldn’t mind.”

“………”

Man, the world really is a small place. To think there existed another glasses bastard with the same family name as me.

“But, he’s not just all glasses.”
“Hmm.”

“After all, that Senpai is actually in love with our school’s prince.”

“Wait a second…”

“A storm of BL, yes. Tres bien, indeed. A modern Romeo and Juliet.”

“Don’t think Romeo and Juliet were both men, you know…”

“Ahh, if only he was here with us…He would surely create more great material, including both BL and glasses, and…Ouchies!?”

Reflexively, I flicked my fingers on the glasses’ lens. In response, the girl rolled around on the floor, screaming ‘My eyes, my eyes!’…Crap, this exchange feels oddly nostalgic. To be accurate, something similar happened at the school festival. Back then, I couldn’t see what she looked like because of the costume, but this glasses junkie attitude, and this voice…No, calm down. She should be off on a deserted island.

“Ouch, how cruel…” The girl fixed her glasses, and groaned.

“Ah, sorry, was that too strong?”

“…No need for you to apologize. Instead…” For some reason the girl was gasping for air, and took out stylish glasses from somewhere. “Put on some glasses as well.”

“Why!?”

“Eh? Well, you need to take responsibility for what you did.”

“What a weird way for me to take responsibility!”

“Then, your order won’t cost anything as long as you put them on…Ahh, why are you trying to run!”

“Well, my stomach suddenly started hurting…”

“That’ll be fixed once you put on these glasses!”

“Like hell it will!”

“It’s true! Every kind of sickness can be healed with glasses alone! They can even help with severe diseases, and make you all energetic and healthy again, so come here!”

“That sounds like it could come out of a late night shopping channel! Get away from me!”

“You won’t get away! Not until you put on these glasses!” A devil’s hand grabbed for me beyond the counter.

Eeek, I came here to relax, so why is my gynophobia activating again! Not to mention that with every move, the girl’s breasts are just shaking all over the place! Damn it, I need to get away quickly, or else…

“Nakuru? What are you doing?” A sharp and resentful voice rang out.

Immediately after, the glasses fanatic was blown off with a squeaky ‘Ahnn!?’ voice. It seems like she got kicked by that previous voice.

“Seriously, we’re busy enough already, so do your work alr—” Mid-sentence, the girl in her purple swimsuit blinked in confusion, as she looked at me.

These twintails hanging down her side, there’s no mistaking it…

“…Stupid chicken. What are you doing here?”

“…That’s my phrase.”

That’s right, this is Usami Masamune, who just kicked away the glasses junkie Nakuru, now giving me a dumbfounded gaze.

 

“Nya? Nii-san? Why are you here?”

“…Yo, Kureha.”

We were inside the beach house. Sitting around the table were Masamune, Nakuru, and me, as Kureha called out to me with a ‘Nyaha, that looks fun’. She wore the same red bikini she had worn at the leisure land a while back, still fitting her body physique, which would surely please a small group of people in this world. Though, that fact is probably a massive complex for the person in question, and I’d probably get killed if I mentioned that.

When I asked why the handicrafts club was here and not on that deserted island as originally planned, they told me that…apparently they failed to sneak onto that carriage ship. According to what Masamune told me, they moved with the truck, but these three were the only guys who got caught, and barely managed to escape before getting arrested. They’re as crazy as always. Soon enough, they’ll get casted as actors.

“The club president took care of our luggage, so we had to contact them via satellite transmission, but it seems like they safely managed to infiltrate the destination. Though, they can’t come to pick us up.”

Visit readlightnovel.me for extra chapters.

“So that’s why you’re working part-time here to earn money?”

“It’s so that we can get home. I said I was fine trying it again, but both Usamin-senpai and NaruNaru said ‘No more smuggling’.”

“Well duh.”

Looking over, Masamune and Nakuru were quivering in fear, with pale expressions, as they probably remembered the incident. I bet it must have turned into a trauma. By the way, the reason Nakuru couldn’t figure out it was me was simply because ‘You weren’t wearing your glasses’. As a result of that, the second I washed my glasses and put them on, she immediately realized.

“Hey, stupid chicken. Please, treat us to something. We’re starving.”

“…I don’t mind, but you better pay me back later, alright?”

Going along with Masamune’s request, I ordered 3x yakisoba. Apparently their contract said that they couldn’t eat anything until their shift was over. What a hard working condition this is.

“By the way, Nii-san.” There, my little sister spoke up. “Why are you here? Weren’t you supposed to be travelling with Onee-sama and Subaru-sama?”

“!”

…Crap. Kureha knew about me going on that trip. Ahhh, how can I explain things. Saying it how things are is a bit too complicated. After all, Suzutsuki and I are supposed to be fiancees right now.

“…Onee-sama? Did you have an older sister?” Masamune asked with a dubious expression.

“Eh? No, Usamin-senpai, Onee-sama refers to Nii-san’s classmate Suzutsuki-senpai.”

“…What?” There, Masamune’s face froze up.

Then, she turned her gaze towards me, stiff like a robot.

“What is this about? Why are you on a trip with a girl in your class? Not to mention…that very Suzutsuki Kanade?”

“Well, that’s…”

The second Suzutsuki’s name popped up, Masamune’s mood clearly took a dip. Maybe they really are on bad terms? Either way, this is bad. I need to come up with a way to get out of this situation soon, or else…

“Hm?”

As I was thinking that, the phone in my pocket vibrated. Worst of all, it was from Konoe Subaru. She must be worried because I was taking my time coming back.

“Ah, seems to be a call from Subaru-sama, I see.”

“!?”

Nakuru frivolously took a peek at my phone screen, to which the gazes of the girls pierced me. I immediately sought to escape this pressure, and accepted the call.

‘Hello, Jirou?’

“Y-Yo, Konoe. What’s up.”

‘You ask me that…What happened? You’re taking pretty long just to buy some drinks.’

“W-Well, something happened, see~”

‘Hm? Whatever, we’re on our way now.’

“Why!?”

‘Why do you ask that…It’s time to eat lunch now.’

“D-Don’t come here! It’s a trap!”

‘What are you on about!?’

“A-Anyway, don’t you dare come here!”

‘Even if you suddenly say that…it’s too late.’

“Too late?”

‘I mean, we’re already at the place.’

“Waaaaaaaaaah!”

Konoe must have been surprised at my shout, as the call was cut…Oh lord, this is bad. Right now, Konoe is looking like a girl. Even with these girls, they’ll realize what’s going on…namely that Subaru-sama is actually a girl…!

“Huh? Isn’t that Onee-sama over there?”

Urk…

“Ah, you’re right. They’re in front of the store.”

Eeek!

“But, who’s that with her? I can’t really see them from here—”

“I-I’ll go bring them here!” I screamed, and dashed outside, aiming directly for Konoe Subaru.

I definitely cannot let them run into her here. I can only come up with a way to hide it…!

“What’s wrong, Jirou? Why are you panicking like that?”

Luckily, both Konoe and Suzutski hadn’t fully entered yet. Their bodies were still a bit wet from swimming just now. This is a chance. I can still make it. With these thoughts, I reached for that. If I can just make her wear that…!

“…Konoe, listen to me.” I didn’t waste much time explaining. “Please wear these immediately.”

“These…you mean these glasses?” Konoe looked at the thin-frame glasses in my hand.

These were the glasses Nakuru tried to push on me just now. I happened to pick them up on a whim after Nakuru got kicked by Masamune, so I can use them now. They don’t seem to be too strong, so it should be fine. Basically, I want to use this as a disguise. You might think it’s way too easy to see through, but the only way I can see things working out here is to act like she’s a different person. If someone has a different idea, put that on an online forum or DM it to me.

“Please! This is for your sake!”

“I don’t mind, but…are you into this sort of thing, Jirou?”

“Why are you suddenly blushing like that!?”

“B-Because…” Subaru-sama was at a loss of a reaction.

Ahh, just hurry up already. We can’t waste any more time like this…

“Nii-san? What are you doing?”

Eeeek! When I looked behind me, there stood Kureha. It seems like she came running after me.

“Jeez, why are you suddenly running away like that…Wait, eh?”

Right there, Kureha froze up like she was buried in concrete, her eyes wide open. Naturally, she was looking directly at—

“K-Konoe-senpai? W-Why are you looking like that?”

“Ah…T-This is…”

Because of Kureha’s sudden appearance, Konoe ended up pale in an instant. However, those glasses shone on her face, so the disguise is complete…Well, if you can call glasses a disguise. Now it only depends on Konoe, if only she can properly explain herself…

“Y-Y-Y-You’re wrong there is a proper reason for this that you probably don’t understand and…”

…It’s over. These words filled my head. She can’t even properly talk, just rambling on and on. Konoe alone can’t make her way out of this. Please, can’t someone else guess what I’m playing at…A kind individual who would never use me for her own pleasure…

“What are you talking about, Kureha-chan?” There, a dignified voice spoke up.

Looking over, Suzutsuki had called out to Kureha.

“That’s not Subaru.”

“Eh? B-But, she looks exactly like Subaru-sama just with his hair down and glasses on…”

“Indeed. However, she is his cousin, and lives around here. Have you forgotten that Subaru is a boy? There’s no way this could be him.”

“T-That might be true, but then…what about Konoe-senpai?”

“He’s currently meeting her relatives living here. Instead of him, this girl is tagging along. Then again, she’s not my butler or anything.” She explained with a calm voice as usual, lining up lie after lie.

That’s Devil Suzutsuki for you. She grasped the situation in an instant. And, she executed a follow-up so awfully well, it’s giving me chills. She’s reaching Las Vegas casino card dealer levels right there. But…thank god. I guess even that teasing rich lady knows when the situation is serious. That’s right, she wouldn’t use this situation to…

“By the way, her name is—Punyuru.”

“…What?”

Konoe, Kureha, and me all let out a dumbfounded voice.

“That’s this girl’s name. Takanashi Punyuru. Takanashi is her mother’s name. It’s modern and cute, right?” Suzutsuki smiled gently.

Look how much fun she’s having right now! Why’d you give her such a weird name like ‘Punyuru’!? That’s just taking it too far. You won’t find anybody with such an eccentric name. There’s no way Kureha will believe you…

“Huh, Punyuru-san, is it. What a cute name!”

She actually believed it!? My little sister is too much of an idiot! Or so I’d like to retort, but I can’t blame her. She admired Suzutsuki as her ‘Onee-sama’ after all. Recently, she believes more in what Suzutsuki says than my own words. That’s why this result might be expected. At the very least, we made it past the first hurdle. All that’s left is to take care of Masamune and Nakuru…

“…Ah, Kureha-chan.”

There, Suzutsuki let out a snicker, like she just came up with something exciting. You’re kidding, right? She’s still not done?

“I forgot to tell you, but you don’t need to add the ‘san’ to her name.”

“Eh? Does that mean…”

“That’s right, she’s a fellow first-year student like you. By the way, we’re very close, so she calls me ‘Kana-oneechan’, you know.”

“…!?” Konoe’s body twitched in shock.

“What’s wrong, Punyuru. Since you’re not my butler, you don’t need to call me ‘Young lady’, nor would it be natural for you to use polite speech, right?”

“~~~!”

“Just call me as you usually would. Come on, say ‘Kana-oneechan’.”

“~~~~~~!” I could see steam rising from Konoe’s head.

I don’t blame her, this must be a first for her. If I had to guess, Suzutsuki’s goal is to be on equal terms with Konoe, wanting to be treated as her friend. After all, right now they are master and butler. Konoe will always be more considerate of her. Still, she really is using everything she can at her disposal, huh. Then again, she probably just wants to be called ‘Onee-chan’ in a fresh way, I guess.

“Urk…Ka…Ka…” Konoe…No, Takanashi Punyuru started fidgeting, and slowly opened her mouth. “…Kana-oneechan.”

“…!? H-Hey, Suzutsuki!?”

Suddenly, Suzutsuki collapsed like a doll that had its strings cut.

She crouched down on the floor, muttering ‘I-I think I just awakened a dangerous monster…!’, like a scientist who just scientifically created a monster on his operating table. It seems like she almost lost consciousness because of the cuteness. What a terrifying being Takanashi Punyuru is. To think she could corner Suzutsuki Kanade like this…!

“By the way, Punyuru will call Jirou-kun ‘Jirou-oniichan’ as well.”

“!?”

She must have felt frustrated to be the only one who collapsed like that, as she next aimed for me. Please, if Konoe were to say that right now…!

“~~~!” Konoe bit on her lip in embarrassment, and muttered with a voice about to disappear. “…Jirou-oniichan.”

“—!”

Ahh, I get it. I was probably born to hear these words out of her mouth. The normal tongue-tied and indifferent Subaru-sama…just called me Onii-chan. What kind of straight ball to the heart is that. That’s a guaranteed strike.

“…Senpai, why are you taking a knee while grinning like that?” A worried voice came from Nakuru as she looked down at me.

Even Masamune was with her, maybe they came looking because they were worried?

“Ah, let me introduce you, NaruNaru. This girl is Konoe-senpai’s cousin, Takanashi Punyuru-chan. She’s the same year as me it seems.”

“Subaru-sama’s cousin? Not to mention those glasses…” Nakuru closed in on Konoe, closely inspecting her glasses.

Ah, I forgot. The glasses Konoe is wearing right now originally belong to her, so maybe she’s catching on?

“—Excellent.”

Nope, nevermind. Nakuru just put her hands together like the Holy Mother Maria, and nodded.

“Hello, Punyuru-chan! Nakuru’s name is Narumi Nakuru! And, your glasses look great on you!” Being openly excited, Nakuru asked for a handshake with glasses-style Konoe.

She’s showing absolutely no doubts towards Kureha’s statement. She’s an idiot. She’s an even bigger moron than Kureha. She’s only looking at the glasses in fact.

“But, why is Punyuru-chan wearing Nakuru’s spare glasses?”

“A-Ah, when she was swimming just now, they got washed away, so I lent her yours.”

“Is that so.” Nakuru nodded.

“She’s got quite the looks, so it was hard finding the right pair for her!” I pointed at Konoe’s glasses, and panicked as I was praising her like a mother would before a marriage.

…Well, whatever. I don’t know what kind of weird brain that glasses junkie has working up there, but at the very least, she seems to believe the existence of Takanashi Punyuru. That’s the second obstacle mastered. All that was left…was the final defence line, known as Usami Masamune. Knowing that nasty rabbit, she’ll probably have a hard battle…

“N-N-N-Nice to meet you, Punyuru-chan.”

To my surprise, Masamune awkwardly greeted Punyuru…Huh? No, that’s not the case. Masamune hates lying to others, and can’t easily put trust into others…And yet, she would so easily believe our words…?

“Hey, stupid chicken.” Masamune quietly whispered into my ear. “Why are you lying like that?”

“!? You realized…!?”

“Of course. Takanashi Punyuru? That’s definitely Subaru-sama wearing glasses. You thought you could deceive me with that?” Masamune declared with confidence.

…How could this happen…To think the day would come where someone figured out Konoe’s secret…Damn it, I should have come up with a better method of hiding it, I’m sorry Konoe…

“But…I’ll play along for now.”

I didn’t expect to hear these words from her.

“Everybody has their own secrets, and I don’t plan on judging other people with their interests. But…this is a shock.”

“Um…what exactly?”

“Huh? I’m talking about Subaru-sama’s crossdressing hobby. He was wearing female clothes back in April at the game center as well, right. Those breasts are mostly pads, I bet. The part where you lied about dating Subaru-sama was to protect that secret, right?”

“……”

Luckily, Masamune arrived at a misunderstanding herself. Luckily, the swimsuit Konoe wore didn’t emphasize her breasts that much, and with the skirt-type swimsuit, her crotch was hidden as well…I guess. Basically, Masamune thinks that Konoe Subaru is crossdressing as a girl, named Takanashi Punyuru. That’s what I expected, she’s even doubting Suzutsuki.

“But, this is pretty amazing. He totally looks like a girl. Not to mention…so cute…I can’t help but feel nervous when talking to him.”

“Huh? Didn’t you get over Konoe on the day after the school festival?”

“I-I did, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get nervous. He still is the prince of our school, so we’re on a different level. That’s enough for now, right?”

“Enough for now…”

“After all, I have a different problem.” Masamune’s gaze suddenly turned sharp, focusing on—Suzutsuki Kanade.

Even despite that, Suzutsuki kept a calm smile.

“Hello, Usami-san, you’re here as well?”

“Hmpf. Wasn’t planning on it at least. What about you? Why are you on a trip with that stupid chicken?”

“No particular reason? It’s my right to go on a trip with whoever I want, right. Still, to think that you would come to the sea of all places, I always expected more from a scholarship student.”

“I’m not studying all the time, you know. What about you? Think you can just play around now that you got the top spot on the last end-of-term exams?”

“Fufu, thank you for your kindness. But, rest assured. I can easily get those grades without studying much.”

“Grrr…Y-You…getting on a high horse just because you always win against me…!”

“Eh? Really? I had no idea.”

“~~~! So shameless…!”

Masamune started glaring at Suzutsuki with tears in her eyes, to which the rich lady herself just accepted this with a warm smile. Yeah, it seems like these two really aren’t on the greatest of terms. We have an average citizen and a rich lady, a nasty rabbit and a wolf woman. Their compatibility couldn’t be worse. However, a scholarship student?

“Jirou-oniichan…No, Jirou, I remembered. That Usami is actually the only scholarship student at our school right now.” Konoe must have felt my doubts, as she whispered in my ear.

Still, I’m a bit disappointed she’s calling me like always.

“If you can get the top rank at the entrance exams at our Rouran Academy, and keep that level up down the line as well, you basically get all your student fees paid, right? That’s what it means to be a scholarship student. And, she was at the top of last year’s entrance exam.”

“Oh yeah, I heard something like that.”

Since it didn’t have anything to do with me, I just forgot. Also, Masamune is…? Maybe she’s studying hard so that she doesn’t have to pay for the student fees. Thinking about her saving policy, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

“But, getting the top spot at the entrance exam is pretty amazing. She even beat you and Suzutsuki, right?”

Suzutsuki and Konoe are both quite the honor students. Every single exam, they’re always at the top spot not missing once.

“Well, there was a particular reason for that…We never took the entrance exam.”

“You never…what? Why?”

“T.-That’s…” Konoe grew silent, signaling that it was hard to say.

Oh yeah, I heard about them using their connections before, since Suzutsuki’s the board chairman’s daughter, and Konoe her butler.

“But, ever since we started attending this school, that girl has always been losing against the young lady. Even though she’s a scholarship student. That’s why she sees her as a rival, or so the young lady told me before.”

“…Huh.”

Well, I feel like that’s not the only reason they’re on such hostile terms. No clue why, but it feels like Suzutsuki seems to hold a grudge towards Masamune as well. This of course is a rare thing for such an honor student that she was. Either way, as Konoe and I were discussing these things in secret, sparks continued to fly between Masamune and Suzutsuki.

“Tell me, why are you together with that stupid chicken?”

“Are you that interested in Jirou-kun?”

“N-Not at all! Definitely not! I’m just curious why a rich lady like you would travel with some average guy like him!”

“Jirou-kun and I are friends, so isn’t that normal?”

“It’s not normal at all! That stupid chicken and I are friends as well!” Like a cornered rabbit, Masamune protested with tears in her eyes.

Hmm…the power relationship is a thing to behold here…Then again, I have yet to meet anybody who can actually stand their ground against that rich lady. Also, why is Masamune so hung up on the fact that I’m travelling with Suzutsuki?

“…Alright, it can’t be helped. I’ll tell you the truth.” There, Suzutsuki suddenly showed a more serious expression. “He is my fiancee.” She blurted out with no hesitation.

“Wha…!?” In response, Masamune froze up. “A-As if I’d just believe that! What are you talking about!”

“It’s not a lie. He and I are in the middle of our elopement.”

“Elopement!?”

“By the way, we also sleep in the same room at the inn.”

“I-In the same room…Don’t tell me…!”

“That’s right, we slept together last night.”

“Wha…”

“Did you know? He actually has quite awful sleeping habits.”

“~~~!” Masamune blushed furiously, reaching the level of a ripe apple.

That damn Suzutsuki, she’s trying to win with her nonsense again. I didn’t expect she’d continue the lie all the way out here. Also, that seemed to work awfully well against Masamune.

“Huh? NaruNaru, you okay?”

When I turned towards Kureha’s voice, I found another person who suffered a lethal wound because of Suzutsuki’s statement. Namely, Narumi Nakuru, who firmly believed in the BL relationship that I had with Konoe. Surprisingly enough, she stood still with her mouth open, but not moving an inch. She seemed to have passed out while standing, looking like Musashibou Benkei2. Still, Kureha is as relaxed as ever, I see. Then again, she was told similar nonsense back in April, so maybe she built up some resistance?

However, the same couldn’t be said about Masamune. Maybe I should provide some follow-up after all? I really don’t want people I know to think that I’m engaged to Suzutsuki..

“…That’s a lie.”

However, Masamune declared so with tears in her eyes.

“A lie? Are you accusing me of lying?”

“Y-Yes, I am.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know why, but…it’s my woman’s intuition!” Masamune must have felt pressure from Suzutsuki’s words, and teared up even further.

…But even so, Masamune didn’t attempt to apologize.

“The fact about you sleeping in the same room might be true, but…being engaged…There’s no way you and that stupid chicken are in a relationship like that. There must be another reason for that, right?”

“Now, who knows.”

“That won’t do, Suzutsuki Kanade. I don’t believe you at all. You always had the tendency to make up convenient lies, and although that might work with the people at the school, you won’t deceive me with that…” She paused for a moment. “Your nonsense won’t work with me.” She declared, while glaring at Suzutsuki.

“…Hmm.” Suzutsuki calmly muttered. “It seems like I’m not very good at dealing with you, Usami-san.”

“Wha…I-I knew it! Everything just now was just your nonsense, right!”

“You were questioning that?”

“O-Of course not! I knew that from the very start!” Masamune puffed out her chest as her twintails shook.

I’m surprised. Usami Masamune saw right through Suzutsuki’s nonsensical blabbering. Also, a woman’s intuition…What’s that? She probably just became even more doubtful than normal. But, that’s that nasty rabbit for you. I didn’t think she would stand face to face with Suzutsuki.

“But…what will you do with that?”

“…Eh?” Masamune’s victorious smile froze up.

“What will you do, finding out? I’ve been meaning to ask, but where will you be staying for tonight?”

“That’s…we haven’t decided on that yet…” Masamune’s voice grew weaker.

I see, they’re basically stranded here. At this rate, they won’t even have a place to stay tonight.

“Really? Sounds troublesome. By the way, we are staying at a nearby hot spring inn.”

“Urk…”

“Of course, together with Jirou-kun.”

“Uuuuu…”

“If you’re okay with it, why don’t you join us? Though I have to say, the inn we stay at is quite luxurious, so the price is something I need to mention.”

“U-Urk…Y-Yeah, sleeping out is something I want to avoid, but…”

“Rest assured, I’m not some devil. As a fellow girl, I wouldn’t want you to camp outside, so if you were to listen to my request, I wouldn’t mind letting you stay over…How about that?”

“A request…what exactly?”

“On your knees.”

“Huuh!?”

“Of course, bare naked while only wearing kneesocks.”

“What kind of lewd roleplay is that?!”

“Just kidding. Don’t take it too seriously, will you.”

“Don’t give me that! You were dead serious about that!”

“Of course not. But, any normal request would be boring, so maybe I should make it a cute one instead.”

“A…a cute request?”

“Please, boing, Kanade-sama! Let me stay over at your inn today, boing!’, maybe?”

“What is that ‘boing’ supposed to mean?!”

“Isn’t it cute, Usagi-san?”

“It’s Usami! I’m not a rabbit!”

“Ah, do a proper rabbit pose as well while you’re at it.”

“~~~! S-So this is who you really are…!”

“Now everyone, let us watch Usami-san say these embarrassing words in the middle of a crowded beach, with a bikini and lewd pose.”

“N-Nooooooo~!” Masamune started tearing up again.

…This isn’t good. She chose the wrong enemy there. Suzutsuki Kanade isn’t a demon. She’s the devil reincarnated.

“Urk…” Masamune bit her lip, and… “P-Please, boing, Kanade-sama! Let me stay over at your inn today, boing!”

In the end, she went along with Suzutsuki’s request. Her face was red from the shame and embarrassment, as she put both her hands on her head, forming rabbit ears. Honestly speaking, it looked so different from her usual, it was actually pretty adorable, but if I said that out loud, I’d probably be kicked.

“Thank you, Usami-san. I’ll let you stay over tonight.”

“Y-You better remember this, Suzutsuki Kanade. I’ll study even more, and definitely beat you during the next exams!”

“Oh, that reminds me. Why won’t the other two stay over as well. The more the merrier, as they say.”

“Yay! Thanks, Onee-sama!”

“Are you listening to me!? Also, why aren’t you making them do anything!?”

“Fufu, seems like it’ll be noisy tonight.”

“Listen to other people!”

Suzutsuki smiled gently, Kureha got excited, Masamune was gritting her teeth in anger, Nakuru was still frozen and stiff, and Konoe was unsure of what to do in her new persona as Takanashi Punyuru…Well, just as Suzutsuki said, things will surely get more noisy tonight. Not to mention that it’s all cute girls. Of course, it’s not like I was secretly in joy over the creation of my own harem. I was just thinking that with so many girls around, it’ll surely help with my gynophobia. Though, I have this vague feeling that it’ll only make things worse…

“—It pains me to say it, but the fun is over now.”

Suddenly, I heard a husky voice with no warning whatsoever. We all turned towards the voice, only to find a large man with a butler uniform unbefitting of the location and time—

“I’ve come to pick you up, Kanade-ojousama.” It was Konoe Nagare, the other butler of the Suzutsuki Family.

He gave this harsh comment, as she pushed up his glasses, and lowered his head in a polite way.

1 A Detective Conan reference

2 Reference to an old story about Musashibou Benkei and Minamoto no Yoshitsune.