The Reason I Keep Avoiding My Childhood Friend

“When did you come?”

“A while ago.”

Even after Kir’s brief reply, he didn’t look away. The purple eyes deepened and the observing gaze touched me. Calm yet heavy.

These days, whenever Kir sends this type of gaze, I feel that he has grown up, but today I felt more pricked. It felt like my heart was being squeezed with a feeling similar to guilt at Kir’s gaze.

“What are you worried about?”

Am I the kind of person who expresses my thoughts so easily? Father and Kir too noticed right away that I was having trouble.

“Why are you asking that question?”

“I just came and saw that you opened the book, but the pages never turned.”

My eyebrows narrowed at Kir’s answer.

“I heard you came a little while ago.”

“Yes. I came and saw it a little while ago.”

Does that make sense?

“You said you came a while ago to see if the pages were turned or not?”

“Yes.”

Kir answers casually, leaning on the sofa with one leg crossed. It was hard to follow because he was so bold. I’ve pointed out Kir’s unconventional behavior from time to time, but I can’t have everything go my way, so I’ve corrected only the bare minimum. And as a result, this happened.

I’m sorry, Kir. This mom will work harder to raise you without paying attention to your dad. I tried because I was lacking, but I am still human.

I was alone in my delusion and was shedding tears, but Kir’s expression sharpened, as if he had read my delusion.

“So, what is your concern?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t think about hiding it, just tell me.”

Perhaps Kir was bored. He took the position of a counselor. It was a little funny because he seemed to be trying to listen quite seriously. However, my smile was swallowed by Kir’s serious look. Thanks to that sincerity, I decided to slightly match the rhythm.

“I was talking to my father yesterday and something came up.”

One day, Kir suddenly started training in swordsmanship, and Father became in charge of it. And from that day on, Kir didn’t like Father. At first, he even let out a harsh word. Although he never did it again after I shouted, ‘Don’t curse at my Father!’ in anger.

That doesn’t mean I can’t make him like my father a bit better, so in front of me, he’s trying hard not to show it too obviously.

Maybe that’s why, even now, as soon as the mention of Father came out of my mouth, Kir’s expression shook slightly. In fact, he couldn’t stop hating Father because I heard that he taught Kir that much. I didn’t particularly like the Grand Duke, so there’s that.

“I asked him how he would feel if he was to be separated from me, and Father said he was lonely. Seeing Father’s weakness makes me feel lonely too.”

I haven’t even decided to study in the capital, but I didn’t want to bring it up carelessly, so I just explained it up to that point. Kir then made a very serious expression.

“Why did you say that?”

“Well, it just happened. You can’t live together forever. So I was talking about what if. So when I imagined it and now I’m sad.”

While talking about it in words, I felt like my imagination had become reality, and my heart was heavy. What will Father do if I really leave? I lost my energy at the thought of my reliable father’s shoulders shrinking.

As my gloom was about to deepen, Kir’s voice came.

“I will not leave.”

“Huh?”

I couldn’t hear it properly, so I looked back at Kir and unconsciously asked back. Then, without a hint of playfulness, Kir spoke with a serious face that was too serious for a 15-year-old kid.

“I will not leave your side. Never.”

The mysterious purple eyes filled with heat and looked at me clearly. Moreover, the words he uttered were calm yet powerful. As expected, this crazy beauty. If he does that with that face, no matter how familiar I am with him, my heart still beats. I got awkward about nothing, so I changed the subject.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about my father.”

But Kir was steadfast despite my awkwardness.

“I know. Still, I won’t leave you. I will stand by your side until the end.”

His words were so resolute and sincere that I can’t find anything more to say. Purple eyes stared straight at me. In the end, I just nodded and told him to do whatever he wanted. Only then did Kir’s gaze, which had been blindly looking at me, retract. I scratched my cheek in embarrassment.

I don’t know why he makes such a silly promise as if he’s confessing.