The Tyrant Gentle Husband

"Who said that I want to leave you? Because I do want to leave you because I was tired of our relationship, you always hurt me, and this feeling was tiring, it tortured me the most, maybe you didn't know what it felt when you turned your cold shoulder at me.

What did you know about my feelings? You want me to be with you, but then what? Do you want to keep meeting with Miona behind my back? Do you want to keep loving her? Do you know how tiring it was for me to see all of this with my eyes? I also knew how angry you were when you quarreled with Selly about me. 

I am not blind, and I knew that you were disgusted at me, you looked at me with cold eyes. But now, you asked me to be with you, someone like you who killed my feelings like killing an ant? Don't dream about it because I would never let your wish come true," I already pushed Luke far away from me and showed him my cold shoulder as he used to be towards me. 

I knew that I didn't have to be this angry because Luke was not wrong at all. He didn't love me, so it was why he always showed me his cold shoulder. I knew it was not right for me to be angry because it was only me who loves him all this time, but the anger in my heart came from the original Elena's feelings. I also felt the same thing as her. It also tortured me the most.

I didn't have the right to ask him about his past attitude, but I also have the right to be angry. He didn't want to know me even the slightest bit. He didn't even try to know me at all. These feelings were not mine, but I felt it as my feelings. Why? What happened to me? Why was I so angry because of the original Elena past and Luke? 

I was only a transmigrated girl, but why did I feel all of the original Elena's past as my natural memory? It was ridiculous, I meant in every transmigrated novel, there are many kinds of stories in many genres.

A few of them, the female lead, gets all of the memories from the original body they got transmigrated. A few of them, they didn't get any memories from the original and tried to live as comfortable as they could, even if they got transmigrated as a villainess. But their life would be more miserable to get out of the past mistake that the villainess made. A few of them got both memories. The feelings that the original person had to feel in the past. But none of them sensed that these feelings were their feelings.

But it was not the same as me, because I felt the pain that the original Elena used to feel. I sensed it was not the real Elena's memories and feelings, but these are my feelings. It didn't felt like a stranger's feelings or other people's feelings, but it felt like my own feelings. Why did I think about it as my original feelings and memories? It was strange because I am not the original Elena. But all of her past, which I felt it's like my past. I sensed that I'm the one who experienced all of her past and not the real Elena herself.

It was strange that none of the transmigrated protagonists felt the same thing as I am. I didn't know why did I think that the real Elena's past as mine, and I could experience the wound that Luke left for her for the past three years. I could sense the great anger in my heart to Luke for him to abandon me in the past. Please realize you are not the real Elena, and please don't overstep your bounds as a transmigrated girl. 

It was not important right now, because I knew that these feelings were not lying to me. I knew that I felt the pain that the real Elena felt, and I would think these feelings as my real feelings. I didn't want to think more about this right now, and I would handle my matters later, the most important thing was my problem with Luke right now.

"Elena," A pitiful sound from Luke woke me up from my thought. I wouldn't waver even though he sounded so miserable like a puppy who would get abandoned by his owner. Luke pulled the corner of my skirt like a baby wanted to ask for their milk with their mother. He pulled it lightly as playing with it. I didn't want to look at Luke's appearance right now and kept showing him my cold shoulder.

"Stop acting like you were the miserable one, did you know how did I feel this whole three years? Did you care how did you hurt my feelings these years? Did you care?" I shouted at him. 

Luke's heart kept crumbling when he heard Elena's voice. Luke felt that Elena wouldn't forgive him and asked for a divorce from him. He was scared, and his body didn't stop trembling each time Elena spoke those hard words to him. Luke also knew that it was his fault to leave Elena alone all this time. He also wanted to punch his old self for leaving pain for Elena's heart.

"Elena, I am sorry," I could hear how low his voice was, it seemed that he was repenting his past mistake. Luke held my hand, and the anger in my heart kept growing at this time, and I said: " Sorry? Did you say sorry? Do you think if you apologize to me, your mistake in the past will be gone? Do you regard that your apologies will erase all of the wounds you made to me? Do you think as simple as sorry will make our relationship becomes better? How dare you dream as you wanted, you didn't know what I experienced through these three years, and your simple sorry would never work at all.

I slapped his hand that holding my hands without mercy, and it was not hard for him to release my hands because he didn't grip it tightly. I could feel how weak he gripped my hand. He didn't hold my hand as strong as usual maybe he realized his wrongdoing in the past.

"I don't want to blame you for your wrongdoing, but the wound in my heart was real, Luke," I said with difficulty.

"I know, it was my fault, and I didn't blame you to angry because of that," Luke tried to explain it with Elena, but his heart tortured him the most, and he didn't have the power to speak longer.

"Elena, I am sorry for whatever I did in the past, and I won't force you to forgive me because I knew it was my fault," Luke was trying hard to hold his tears in, but he failed and kept shedding tears pitifully. I could hear Luke sobbed behind me, and I didn't want to look back, because I knew that I didn't have the heart to see him sad, and it would melt my hard heart.

"Stop acting like you cared Luke because I knew that you loved Miona and not me, and it was not your fault that you left me alone in these three years of our marriage, and you didn't love me, but falling in love with another girl beside me was not your fault. 

It was our family that matched us together, and your parents also knew that your love was not for me, but they still forced you to marry me. I didn't blame anyone in this, and your parents wanted the best for you, and also my parents wanted the best for me even though they never loved me. Even if they didn't love me, they wanted me to have the best thing in my life, but that best thing was the one who hurt me the most.

They never knew that their choices hurt me the most, but you never knew Luke that I fell in love with you far from our marriage. I was a teenager at that time and looked at you from far away like a stalker. I was happy even though I only saw you from afar, but in your mind, I liked your money the most. 

I realized that our family's wealth not as much as your family. But you thought that I liked your money if I could choose I wanted to have an ordinary life and falling in love with a regular guy, rather than living with money but I never get the love I wanted and the happiness I dreamed of all this time.

I thought that someday I would have the love I wanted when I got married to the man I loved, but reality woke me up from my dream because I was too naive to think that marriage could give you the love you wanted. After all, it was not different when I was in my parent's house. Now, I knew that my mother never felt happiness from her marriage. It was the reason why she didn't care about her children.

Do you think I was happy with all of this wealth? Do you think your money could bring my happiness? Because my bliss was always you all this time, Luke," I said with sorrow in my tone. I heard the sound of someone falling on their knees loudly from behind, but I chose to not mind about it.